“Orphan Black” recap: The Cutest Geek Monkey (1.06)


Back on the grad school campus, Cosima and Delphine go to see a rather…eccentric lecturer. He picks on Cosima and her glasses a little bit, but Cos sasses him right back. After the lecture, Cosima and Delphine are milling about at the cocktail hour when Delphine spots the lecturer sidles up to him, motioning for Cosima to follow. Cos sasses him again and calls him on his BS and he tries to flirt with her but she is absolutely not interested. Delphine calls her a brat and Cosima says they should get out of there, stealing two bottles of wine, and my heart in the process.

Meanwhile, at the potluck, Allison is drunk as a skunk. Felix, who has arrived dressed in his preppiest attire to tend bar, saves her from herself and brings her downstairs to Sarah. Together, our little clones realize that Donnie is not a Monitor, he’s just…Donnie.

Drunk Allison slurs that she thinks her monitor is probably “one of those bitches upstairs” and while Felix agrees, motioning to a never-too-far-away Ainsley, I still think her husband Chad is suspicious. And possibly a little gay.

On campus, Cosima and Delphine escape with the bottles of wine, and they Brittana-run to the quad.

Before they part ways, Cosima tells Delphine she’s going to get her soooo high someday, to which Delphine responds, ‘It’s nice to make a friend in the brave new world.’ Based on the look on Cosima’s face when her new French friend kisses her on either cheek, I think she might be equal parts suspicious of her intentions and falling for that accent.

In suburbia, Paul has GPS’d his way to Allison’s house…but not before Vic shows up. Paul slithers in the back door and sees Allison passed out. At first he thinks it’s Beth, but she didn’t have a scar on her neck. Next he tries “Sarah” but that’s not right either. Drunk Allison mutters her name and gets in a slurred pick up line before Paul here’s a crash in the craft room. He goes inside to find Donnie, tied to a now overturned chair. Next to him, a laptop live-streaming the bedroom from the nanny cam, where he spots Vic and Sarah.

Paul heads to the bedroom and he, Vic and Sarah are about to move the conversation to the garage to avoid being walked in on when who should reappear like a toothache? Ainsley. She doesn’t press very hard about the two shady strangers in her bedroom, but instead starts to talk about her husband’s affair…I don’t know if a normal nosey neighbor would have dropped it that fast.

Once in the garage, Vic makes the mistake of getting close enough to Paul for him flip him over and aim a nail gun at his throat. Sarah finally shakes her tail and tries to assure Paul that Vic doesn’t know anything, but when Vic tries to escape, he gets his good hand nail-gunned to a chair.

While this is going on, Ainsley sneaks right past the “off limits” sign and finds a sleeping Alison in the basement. She takes her to bed and somehow finds her way to the garage (shady) where she is surprised to see Sarah. Paul is literally losing his mind, because he goes to draw his gun, but Sarah-as-Allison grabs his hand and convinces Ainsley that she’s having an affair, so she scoots without further question.  

Later that night, the real Allison gets in bed with her scared-looking husband and she starts to apologize for her extreme mental breakdown, but he says it was his fault and that he’s sorry…and for a minute I believe him, but then he starts spewing this cockamamie story about his mystery box being full of letters from a girl he had a flirtationship with. He says she got lupus and then he never heard from her again but I’m going to go all Cosima and call BULLSHIT because when he was burning whatever was in that box, he was on the phone with someone who was definitely (well, probably) not dead from lupus.

At the late Beth’s loft, Paul offers Sarah a drink. First he grabs a bottle that he had added some shady powder to earlier, but as Sarah starts to come clean about the clone thing, saying they found 9 genetic identicals so far, he changes his mind and chooses the non-poison booze instead.

On campus, Delphine returns to a hotel room, dressed to the nines, and who is there, but Professor Neolution himself. So it seems like Cosima is playing Delphine who is playing Cosima who doesn’t know that Cosima is playing her. Or maybe she does? See. I told you this would get confusing.

Next week, Cosima and Delphine might get a little…closer. In the mouth region.

Live-tweet with me (@PunkyStarshine) this Saturday at 8 pm EST using the hashtag #clonesbians! I’ll include my favorites in the recap!

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