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“Orange Is the New Black” sets a return date and teases us with promo

Dear World: Don’t bother us June 6. We’re watching Orange Is the New Black. Love, The Lesbians.

The announcement of the second season premiere date for the hit Netflix series gives us all just 108 days to prepare for a marathon binge session. It also gives all of our friends and loved ones just under four months to prepare for our impending disappearance. Seriously, though, no phone calls or texts for at least 13 hours on June 6. I am not joking.

The news, snuck in on the end of the House of Cards season finale (the season was released Friday night), included a very short teaser of the new season. While you can’t tell much to anything about the plot, you just know it’s gonna be good.

The preview gives us our first glimpse of new cast member Lorraine Toussaint, as former drug kingpin Vee, and newly promoted series regular Danielle Brooks, back as Taystee. No sign of Lori Petty yet, though, who is set to guest star. My guess is we’ll have a major power struggle between Vee, Red and Mendoza (who still rules the kitchen) in the sophomore season.

The other interesting clue? The teaser image announcing the new season. Is that an egg? What do the chicken scratches mean? There are 30 of them, so 30 days in the SHU perhaps? Wait, OMG, is the chicken that is smarter than other chickens back?

The teaser has no sign of Alex Vause, though behind-the-scenes Instagram photos from the cast have show Laura Prepon in character on set. And series creator Jenji Kohan recently told US Weekly that Alex would be returning for “most” of the second season, instead of the one to four episodes that had been previously reported. (If you do the math, “most” would be at least seven episodes — oh yeah, we’re counting.)

 

So, excited about the premiere date? Ready for more Litchfield? Have you started stockpiling snack yet for your marathon binge-watching session?

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