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“Orange is the New Black” recap (2.12): It Was the Change

As Superstorm Emmy Nominations comes bearing down on Litchfield, Red’s crew is trying to secure the greenhouse. After Taslitz’s bumbling assassination attempt on Vee, Red fears retaliation on the family. Frieda suggests changing the narrative by turning this mistake into an advantage. All they need to do is convince Vee that they stabbed someone else on purpose. Red shuts down that idea and instead suggests they need a peaceful parley to set the record straight, without any further bloodshed.

As the rest of the prison prepares for the storm, Poussey is still sneaking some of that god-awful prison hooch. She finds Watson dealing out of the library and confronts her. Poussey can’t wrap her head around the fact that Watson went to the SHU for Vee, and is still doing her bidding. Watson gives Poussey a piece of advice: Stop fighting the inevitable.

Piper sits nervously watching the storm rage outside, while attempting to fix an ancient television. Morello stops by to check on Piper and her attempts to halt her transfer. Piper has exhausted her resources and it looks like a transfer in inevitable. We find out that Ruiz is also on the transfer list and will be taken far away from her little baby and boyfriend. Piper even suspects that her family is relieved to hear about her transfer so they won’t have to give up their weekends to visit. As Morello heads out, Piper thanks her for her kindness when Piper first arrived. On one of the most frightening and depressing days of Piper’s life, Morello gave her a tiny bit of hope. That hope is what carried Piper through her dark moments. Morello is touched by Piper’s words and promises to look to them on her own bad days.

Gina stops by the commissary to invite Vee to Red’s parley later that day in the greenhouse but Vee is about to have bigger problems on her hands than a feelings session with Red. A tipsy Poussey stumbles into the custodial room and destroys Vee’s supply of tobacco.

In Fig’s office, an accountant goes through some of the prison’s expenses and points out some major discrepancies. Fig tries to throw him off her scent by scoring him an invite to her husband’s fundraiser where she will introduce him to one of his favorite NY Giants players. It works.

Bennett approaches Daya after a few days of not speaking but instead of still being angry, Daya has news. The baby is moving around in there. She also believes it’s a boy and Bennett is over the moon.

Taystee walks in the custodial supply room to find Vee angrily cleaning up Poussey’s mess. Vee directs her anger on to Taystee who had accepted responsibly for Poussey and promised she wouldn’t be an issue. Instead of offing Poussey, which would cause Vee more trouble and scrutiny than she wants, she kicks Taystee out of the crew. Taystee is brokenhearted that her “mother” is abandoning her yet again.

Flashback to Vee, Taystee and RJ’s apartment before it all went downhill. Over pizza, Vee complains of exhaustion and feeling too hot to sleep. One of RJ’s friends points out that it might be our dear friend menopause, knocking at Vee’s door. Vee freaks out, thinking she had more time before she had to worry about the change. RJ comforts her, letting her know that he thinks she’s still mighty hot. Vee calls him out for teasing her, but he’s dead serious. This is getting really complex. Oedipal complex. Sorry, I’ll see myself out.

A tearful Ruiz sits with her precious baby and boyfriend on the last visiting day before her transfer. She tells this man of few words that he must talk to the baby while she’s away. That it’s vital to her development, and she grows up knowing how much she is loved. Her boyfriend starts to tear up himself and nods. Piper watches their conversation from the window, and walks away disheartened.

No little superstorm is going to stop the Figueroa campaign from having their big fundraiser. Before the Figs head down to the festivities, they have a little roll in the 1200 thread count hay. Afterwards, Fig lies on her back trying to up the odds of conception while her Senate hopeful hubby gets dressed. There really is no better time to discuss embezzlement than when your legs are in the air, so Fig brings up the accountant’s findings. She says she wants to stop with the dirty dealings but her husband presses her to keep going. His campaign needs the extra kickbacks from Fitzcorp.

The storm is really kicking up, and as Anita finds out while flossing her teeth, Litchfield is about to get soaking wet. The A Dorm bathroom has begun to flood. Vee does show up for the come to Jesus with Red, but it doesn’t go as well as Red would have hoped. Vee sees the botched assassination attempt as a call to arms, and Red’s about to have a war on her hands. When Red laughs off Vee’s attempts to take over the tunnel, Vee pulls a very special card from her sleeve. She threatens Red’s sons. As the alarms ring and the women take to the floor, Vee reminds Red that the last time she crossed Vee, Red ended up with broken ribs and a punctured lung. Red spits in Vee’s face at the memory of it. CO Ford finds the women and orders them into the prison for shelter, but not before they all receive a SHOT for being out of bounds.

Flashback to Vee’s kitchen where she’s meeting with the local neighborhood crooked cop. They have a friendly relationship, considering. He tips her off and she pays him a hefty sum for his silence. As he leaves, he informs Vee about a recent bust of one of her competitors. He has it on pretty good authority that RJ was working with them behind her back.

The inmates are all moved to higher ground in the cafeteria where they will have to stay the night. Taystee is the first of Vee’s crew to arrive, but word is already out that she’s been banished because when Cindy and Watson see her, they turn the other way. Taystee’s mood isn’t lightened when Leanne shows up looking for drugs. Taystee sends her off empty handed.

Wading through waist deep water, Piper, Nicky and Luschek are on electric duty in the basement. When they arrive to check the massive oil tanks that power the generators on the roof, they are dry as a bone. Litch is screwed. Just then, the lights blow out and the prison is cast into darkness. That sounded more dramatic than I meant it to. It’s fucking dark is what I’m trying to say.

At Fig’s party, everyone is nice and dry and drinking champagne. Tiki Barber is expounding on social inequality while autographing footballs. Fig is telling the guests how amazing her husband is, when Mr. Fig’s, ahem, campaign director, Gavin, interrupts them. Caputo has called her six times now and she is refusing to answer. Instead she makes a B-line to the Fitzcorp folks who are bankrolling Mr. Fig’s campaign and getting all the prison contracts as compensation. Mr. Fitz is a real schmo, joking how the prison will need extensive repairs after the storm, and smacking Fig on the ass when his wife is out of view.

Red and her crew find a spot in the cafeteria where they can keep an eye on Vee. Morello and the others are nervous about a physical altercation, but Red tells them they need to think on their feet. From the other side of the cafeteria, Vee and her crew discuss their situation as well. Vee knows that Red’s power is in strategy so she tells the women to remain vigilant and not speak to anyone outside of their group. Meanwhile, things have gotten to another level of awful when the inmates find out that they have to pee in buckets since the pipes are out of order. Let’s hope everyone skipped the bran muffins at lunch. Leave it to Soso to turn this disaster into a slumber party. You have to admire her moxie. She even starts a singalong to Meredith Brooks‘ “Bitch.” Surprisingly, the rest of the women start to join in. Taking advantage of the darkness, Leanne and Angie sneak off to get high on nutmeg.

Healy sits alone in his office when Pennsatucky comes to say hello and have a snack. She asks to take some Oreo’s back to Big Boo, you know, in order to distract her from TOTALLY LEZZING OUT! Healy warns her to stay away from Boo, but Tucky is kind of digging on Boo’s tattoos. Healy suddenly turns into a 1960’s propaganda film. “That’s how they get you. By being coooool.” (That’s how they got me.) “Before you know it, you’re part of their agenda.” (I was issued a handy Franklin Mint calendar when I came out.) Even Pennsatucky isn’t exactly buying what he’s selling. He suggests that Tucky read The End of Men by Hanna Rosin, except instead of taking it as a cautionary tale, Penssatucky reminds Healy that the men in charge haven’t exactly made life easier for her. “It’s the lesbians that started this whole thing,” he shoots back. “They’re making babies out of a tube.” (I believe the correct term is gaybies, Mr. H.) When Pennsatucky tries to speak her mind, Healy threatens to take away her cookies.

The singalong is in full swing now, and Lisa Loeb‘s ’90s tinkling ballad of heartbreak and co-dependency, “Stay,” is the jam. It seems as if the only people not singing are Red and Vee, who are engaged in a stare off.

Flashback to a very sexified looking Vee, showing up at RJ’s place to confront him about stepping out on the “family” business. RJ admits to going out on his own but promises he wouldn’t step on Vee’s toes. He cares for her too much. He asks if they can work out a peaceful solution, and Vee agrees. She then says some really uncomfortable shit about being his “momma,” they tumble into bed together.

Ruiz sits crying on the cafeteria floor, and Piper crouches beside her in an attempt to comfort the despondent woman. Piper tells Ruiz that she’s being transferred too, so at least they will know each other. Ruiz doesn’t take much comfort in this, considering they aren’t friends now. Ruiz has six years left on her sentence, and she’s worried that her child won’t even know her when she gets out. As for her boyfriend, she doesn’t have much faith that he will stand by her. “Men can’t help it,” she tells Piper. “They’re weak.”

Playing a mean game of checkers are Pennsatucky and Big Boo. Pennsatucky takes this opportunity to get the skinny on the gay agenda and Big Boo couldn’t have asked for a better present. Here’s the deal: A few men will stick around to be slaves because we need help opening pickle jars and what not. Sex with them is ok, but only if you drop em like hotcakes when you are through. Cunnilingus is mandatory buuuuuut, you can apply for exemption for religious purposes. See the lesbian agenda wants you to celebrate your Hobby Lobby, but with scissoring instead of scrapbooking. Those seem like pretty fair requirements to Pennsatucky, so she’s all in.

Vee’s crew is playing a spirited game of fuck, marry, kill (Cindy picks Caputo for the win) when Taystee overhears and tries to join in. Vee freezes her out right away, and Taystee returns to her mat defeated. Daya starts to feel the stress of the conditions and begins having a panic attack.

Caputo calls Fig again and after the eleventh time, she finally picks up. Fig is less than sympathetic to the situation at Litch, and Caputo tells her that he’s had enough of her mismanagement and gross neglect. She threatens his job as well, and instructs him to figure the situation out on his own, before strutting back out into the party.

Daya is hyperventilating and Bennett is failing at his attempts to calm her. CO Robinson comes over and instructs Daya to get on her feet and do some jumping jacks. Bennett assumes that Robinson is being a world class dick, but it’s actually helping Daya calm down.

In the kitchen, Gloria and the kitchen staff are making PB and Js when Red sneaks back to ask a favor. She wants a knife to protect herself and Gloria has the keys to the cage. Gloria refuses and Red confesses that she thinks Vee will kill her. Gloria assumes that Red’s just letting her paranoia run away with her. Red spies a roll of plastic wrap and gets an idea.

As Morello heads to toss out some trash, she sees Miss Rosa lying by herself, not moving. Morello sits down next to her and begins to shake her awake. Thankfully Rosa is still very much alive. Rosa tells Morello that she’s made peace with dying, but can’t get around the fact that she’s going to die in prison. Morello pulls a lollipop out of her waistband and silently hands it to Miss Rosa before leaning against the wall beside the dying woman.

After Daya has calmed down, she and Bennett have a real discussion about the future. What’s going to happen to the baby, and how are they going to pull off this charade forever? Daya wants him to confess and do his time so that when they are finally together, they can truly be free. (Doesn’t it cross Daya’s mind what things are like for cops and correction officers in prison? Bennett’s life would likely be very difficult while serving his time.) Daya also offers Bennett a way out without repercussions.

In the cafeteria, Poussey overhears the COs talking about flooding in the library and convinces them to let her go and salvage what she can. CO Ford sends Taystee to accompany her. Yoga Jones and Piper do some of their asanas, but talk quickly turns to injustice. Sister Ingalls is still being force-fed. Fig is punishing Piper for speaking the truth. Yoga Jones is brokenhearted by the whole thing. Piper admits her fear about being sent to another prison, but Yoga chimes in with some good news. She spent time at the same prison and life was so much sweeter there. Piper looks around at the rats and the filth around them and for a moment considers that the alternative doesn’t sound so bad. The only thing it’s missing is Alex.

As Vee goes outside to empty one of the piss buckets, she soon finds out that she is not alone. Red approaches her from behind with a length of plastic wrap and attempts to strangle Vee. When that doesn’t work, Red uses her bare hands to choke the other woman. Vee finally gives up fighting back but Red can’t go through with it. Once they catch their breath, they can’t help but laugh at the self imposed desperation of their situation. They agree to stay out of each other’s hair and call for a truce.

Flashback to Vee and RJ in bed after a vigorous lovemaking session. Vee is sweating and panting and seriously craving a Bomb Popsicle. RJ doesn’t really want to get out of bed but after Vee promises to let him “do that last thing again,” he agrees to run out to the bodega and get it for her. As soon as RJ leaves, Vee pulls out her phone and sends a text. As RJ walks through the neighborhood, he runs into Vee’s cop friend who tosses a gun in RJ’s direction. The cop calls in a fake report to dispatch that RJ is armed and dangerous. RJ puts the gun on the ground and raises his hands in innocence. The cop then fires two shots into his chest. Vee doesn’t do truces.

In the library, Poussey tries to break the ice with Taystee by asking what Vee plans to do to her. Taytee tells Poussey that she’s been exiled from the crew for standing up for her. Taystee claims Vee was the only person to ever have her back, which Poussey takes great offense to. Poussey has been there all along. Taystee blames Poussey and her deeper feelings for Taystee for ruining everything. When Poussey has had enough and tries to leave, Taystee knocks her to the floor. As Poussey trembles on the ground, waiting for Taystee to hit her, Taystee comes to her senses. Almost as if a spell has been lifted, Taystee drops to the floor and she and Poussey hug it out.

When finally everyone including the guards fall asleep, Piper takes the opportunity to do a little sleuthing. She sneaks into Fig’s office where she yanks the suspicious Fitzcorp files. Just as she does, the lights come back on and she runs smack into Caputo.

At the party, Fig wanders the apartment looking for her husband. She finds him all right, tucked away in a corner, making out with Gavin. Shocked and hurt, she turns and walks away as quickly as she arrived.

The next morning, Red surveys the damage in the greenhouse. As she bends down to begin cleaning up, Vee quietly sneaks in and bashes Red’s head in with a lock in a sock. Red sees Vee’s expressionless, sociopathic face before she goes unconscious.

Oh what will become of Red? “Got a secret, can you keep it? Swear this one you’ll save. Got a slocket in my pocket, taking this one to the grave?”

Follow Dana on Twitter @danapiccoli

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