“Orange is the New Black” recap (1.8): Moscow Mule


Chapman does some ineffective fumbling with the door. Shouldn’t they make industrial dryers have internal latches, like they do car trunks? Alex asks after Nichols and Chapman says “Your girlfriend?” Alex wonders if she was supposed to wait for Chapman to come around. Chapman says she’s engaged and gets served a tall, frosty glass of “Yeah, right.” Chapman says maybe they can be friends, and Alex points out that they weren’t friends before. They were lohvahhhhhs.

Alex says Chapman’s been a horse’s ass—which, again, given the fact that Alex knows damn well she ratted Chapman out, is a bit of a stretch. Chapman doesn’t know that, but she still gets frustrated enough that she starts kicking the dryer, which is a bad strategy all around. It’s also a bad time for Luschek to come in and check on her.


Mendez is making Morello drive way far away from the grounds, and she’s terrified. Mustache demands to know how Red gets stuff into the kitchen. Morello says she doesn’t know. Mustache asks again and says it’s going to be very bad if she doesn’t tell him. Morello is so afraid she’s going to get hurt right now I can’t stand it. But she’s also firm about the point that she really doesn’t know. Mendez has her drive back.

Healy’s office

Luschek turns Alex and Chapman in. He calls them “the blonde one and the hot one.” Healy dismisses Luschek while mispronouncing his name. Oh, wow, Luschek really is the low-status prison employee around here.

Chapman tries to say the whole repair incident was her fault, but Healy just wants to know if the women were using the dryers to pleasure themselves. Alex is more of a dishwasher kind of gal. Snort. Healy says he’s just going to write them up, and then takes another dig at Chapman being in the paper.


Red is moving silent Norma into Nichols’ cube, saying this will be good for Nichols. Nichols is furious that she hasn’t even had a say. And says she’d prefer a friend who doesn’t drink Red’s Kool-Aid. Red replies “Are you finished? You’re starting to sound finished.” Daaaamn. Nichols storms off. I hate it when she and Red fight. Oh, crap, Mendez just saw an opportunity.

oitnb_Nichols storms

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