“Orange is the New Black” recap (1.3): Lesbian Request Denied

Doctor’s office!

Doctor Brooks checks out Sophia’s X-ray and says the dog’s head will pass on its own. She also puts Sophia on suicide watch because, you know, swallowing things.

Sophia gets to the real reason she’s here, which is to get back to her old dosage, but Dr. Brooks balks. They’re taking Sophia off hormones until they make sure she doesn’t have liver damage, which could be months. Uh-oh.

The doctor takes Sophia off her hormones

Sophia Flashback!

Sophia’s wife, Crystal, helps her work out to dress well for her figure. With a little help, Sophia looks good. Crystal is obviously an understanding woman, but asks Sophia to please keep her penis. The two of them kiss, which is a bad time for their son to walk in. He slams out.

Phone time!

We learn that Larry is taking every other week off from Visiting Day so he can have a life. Which means Chapman’s going to be having a visit from her brittle mom without backup. Bring Crazy Eyes!

Chapman has Larry describe their hilariously yuppie-ass Whole Foods groceries… Slowly. Larry tries to segue into phone sex, which isn’t happening. Chapman explains that there’s always a guard listening in and that there’s a woman sobbing next to her in the grimy hallway and Larry is all “What’s your point?”

Dormitory!

Diaz’s new roommate, who’s so pregnant she should just have orderlies following her around, doesn’t want Diaz to put art up on the walls of their cube. She calls over Nice Bennett, who says he likes it and the art stays. Diaz and Bennett have another moment. Pregnant roomie is not nice about it, which is kind of a bad idea, given the fact that Diaz will probably be helping her deliver in about ten minutes.

oitnb_Love Chaw

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