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“Once Upon A Time” recap: Take Me Down the Rabbit Hole (2.19)

Previously on Once Upon A Time – hold on, let me think, it’s been a while. Oh right! Baelfire was revealed to be Henry’s father, Tamara and Stranger Greg were in cahoots, Belle lost her memory, and Rumpelstiltskin vowed to kill the boy the Seer said would be his undoing.

We open in Mr. Gold’s shop in Storybrooke, where the Charming Extended Family (sans Regina) is watching Henry blow out his birthday candles. Gold tells him that he can pick anything he wants from his shop as a present, and the first thing he picks up is a magic wand. Gold shows Henry how it works by turning him into a porcelain doll and smashing him into a million pieces.

Before I can decided if I’m happy Henry’s gone or not emotionally ready to see Regina crying again, Mr. Gold wakes up, shattered to realize that it was all just a dream.

Gold goes out to see how the boy is faring in real life, and finds him swordfighting with Baelfire in the park. Regina sidles up and asks what his son is doing with hers, and he smirks and fills her in on the latest update to his family tree.

Regina is PISSED and is convinced Gold knew about this when he “procured” Henry for Regina. Regina turns to Gold and tells him they won’t accept him, spitting his own words back at him. She says, “If your own son can’t bring out the good in you who will.” Good question, Regina. Good. Question.

Business must be slow at the shop, because next Gold galivants to the hospital to visit Belle. She’s shocked to see him up and about, and he apologizes for the dramatic phone call from his deathbed. Belle forgives him because she can tell that his feelings are genuine. She says she can sense it about people, but Emma also once said she was a human lie detector, so you can’t always believe people’s assessments of their own abilities around here.

After Gold leaves, Regina stops by to visit Belle and sees that she is packing up her things. She tells the Mayor that Gold is going to help her remember who she was, but from the gleam in her eye, it seems Regina has another plan. She makes a matchbook appear and hands it to Belle. When Belle looks closely at it, her eyes light up and she says she finally remembers who she is. However, the eerie music and the perfectly wicked grin on Regina’s face makes me feel like she might not be our sweet little librarian.

The Charmings drive Emma – who is wearing what looks almost looks like one of Mary Margaret’s hats, but is made out of raincoat? – out to a secret magic bean field. She realizes her parents want to go back to the Enchanted Forest. They tell her that her happy ending could be there, but she knows her happy ending is wherever Regina is, and right now that means Storybrooke.

Back in Storybrooke Hospital, where the nurses wear old-fashioned uniforms because the mayor is kinda kinky, Gold can’t find Belle. All that’s left in her room is the matchbook Regina had given her. Gold follows this clue to a dive bar called The Rabbit Hole, where Belle goes by Lacey and is dressed like Season 1 Ruby. And her hair. I just – just look.

Lacey remembers Mr. Gold as “the guy who visited her in the hospital” but she remembers who she is now, and it’s certainly not that Belle character he kept going on about.

Gold storms into Regina’s office to demand an explanation for what happened to Belle, but Regina is sassy and is all, “Do I LOOK like a pirate?” And no, no she does not.

She explains that Belle’s memory was lost and that only her cursed memories remain now. True love’s kiss might break the curse, but that there’s no way Lacey would love Gold the way Belle did. Her words make it almost sound like it could maybe be an apology, but her tone and her smirk imply that she is anything but sorry.

In Fairytale Land, where Belle is The Dark One’s captive, a thief finds his way into the castle and tries to steal a magic wand. Rumple apparates all around the room while the Thief boasts about his magical bow that always find its mark. The arrow did find Rumple, but the Dark One plucks it from his chest with a giggle and tells the Thief that he will pay. Later, Belle sneaks down to the dungeon free the Thief, because she’s as sweet as Sweet Marley Rose and all she sees is sunshine. Thief offers to take her with him but she made a promise and her escape would mean the death of many others, so she must stay.

When Rumple returns, he is displeased, because the Thief ended up stealing the wand anyway. The Dark One says that people who steal magic never have good intentions, but Belle says they can’t judge a thief by his breeches. As punishment for her insolence, she must go with Rumple to watch him hunt down and kill this Thief.

Present-day, down the Rabbit Hole, Lacey is doing shots like a champ. A fellow approaches but she quickly says ‘not my type’ in a way that makes it seem as though she’d be more into Ruby. When he scoots away, Gold takes his seat, because Charming somehow convinced him to ask her out on a date the old-fashioned way. Lacey is intrigued by Gold, only because she hears the people in this town are afraid of him, but in case the date will be lame, she picks Granny’s in hopes to catch a glimpse of Li’l Red.

Across town, Emma is sitting on a bench by the water, trying to think of a way to get everyone to quit fighting and let her and Regina raise Henry together in peace, when the mayor herself approaches. They talk of Henry and of Baelfire and his sudden reappearance and oh, what a tangled web they weave. Emma looks deep into Regina’s eyes and pleadingly asks Regina to do whatever she can to be the person Henry wants her to be. She doesn’t want Regina to lose him. Regina can tell Emma is hiding something, possibly because Emma is as subtle as a bull in a china shop, but more likely because she was staring so intently at the face she knows so well.

At Granny’s Diner, Granny looks at Lacey with curious eyes and wonders if she’s been borrowing her girlfriend’s clothes, because she had been hoping Belle would be a good influence on her granddaughter, not the other way around. Gold and Lacey try to make small talk, but Lacey soon gets something on her shirt and excuses herself to the little girl’s room aka out the back door. This is probably not the best idea in a small town, but hilarious nonetheless.

Flash back to Fairytale Land, where Rumpelstiltskin is hunting the thief, Belle nipping at his heels with talk of inherent goodness. Though, she’s beginning to wonder if she was seeing things when she thought she saw a glimmer of good beneath his shiny gold skin.

The duo is approached by a band of men, though they are far from merry. The leader of the pack is the guy from the bar, who turns out to be Sheriff of Nottingham. Rumple takes the sheriff’s tongue out and offers to give it back in exchange for information. The sheriff agrees and tells him that his thief is in Sherwood Forest and goes by Robin Hood.

At the diner, present-day, Gold starts to worry about Lacey, and goes to look for her. She was probably looking for Ruby, but she found the Sheriff wandering around, so decided he’d do for a quick makeout sesh in the alley to get the taste of polite small talk out of her mouth. Gold is, once again, displeased.

In Sherwood Forest, Rumple and Belle find Robin Hood. He is Captain Morganing around behind some trees, waiting for something. A wagon approaches with a dying woman on it. Belle’s like “Even YOU wouldn’t kill a man who’s just trying to save someone’s life, right?” And Rumple’s like YUP I WOULD. Then Robin and the woman kiss and Belle’s like, “But they’re in LOVE, you wouldn’t kill him NOW would you?” And Rumple’s like YUP STILL WOULD. Then the woman stands up and it’s clear that she is very pregnant and Belle’s like “OK, seriously? You have to draw the line somewhere.” And Rumple doesn’t say anything, but loses an arrow. The arrow misses and hits the wagon, and Robin Hood and Not-A-Maid-Anymore Marion scurry off.

Belle knows Rumpelstiltskin spared the thief’s life and says she knew there was some good in him after all. He takes her back to his castle, and shows her the library. He plays it off like he wants her to clean it, but she knows he’s being kind. She tells him that he’s not what she thought he was, and that she was glad for it.

In Storybrooke, the Sheriff finds Gold and apologizes for scamming on his girl, and Gold decides to beat him senseless with his cane, just for old time’s sake. Lacey turns the corner and witnesses this and is amused. She smiles at Gold and says he’s not what she thought he was, and that she was glad for it.

Meanwhile, Regina does this awesome thing where she magically lights up the tire tracks of the Charming truck and follows them back to the fields. At first she just sees empty space, but she quickly uncloaks the beans and looks quite mischievous.

While all of this was going on, Stranger Greg and Tamara the Tricky were being as shady as shady can be. You see, while everyone else was worrying about family trees, beans, and tramps, Tamara was out picking up their new secret weapon — Hook. Greg isn’t so sure this plan is going to work, but Tamara assures him that the enemy of your enemy is your friend, and that a pirate is always good for some dirty work.

Finally, our hiatus days are over. Join me for the final weeks of this epic adventure!

Here are some of our favorite #SwanQueen tweets from Lacey:

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