“Once Upon A Time” recap: How to Tase Your Dragon (2.18)

 
 

Just outside the town lines, August has a change of heart, bangs a uey and heads right for the police station. When he can’t find Emma, he calls her and tries to warn her, but Tamara and her Taser of Terror strikes again.

Team Charming finds Pinocchio stumbling out of the police station and tries to warn them about Tamara, but dies before he can get anything out. Emma is really starting to take after her mother, because she uses every muscle in her face to declare that Pinocchio will not have died in vain.

But Henry has read this story, and he knows that Pinocchio Since August did right in the end, he earned his redemption. The Blue Fairy showed up (but sadly did not don her Blue Fairy costume) and turned August into a little boy — a REAL boy!

Tamara’s just about ready to tase the kid, but luckily he doesn’t remember what he was about to say before he died, so his tiny, precious life was spared.

Neal tells Tamara that he knows this is a crazy life he leads, so he understands if she prefers New York, but Tamara agrees to stay in Storybrooke under the guise of true love, but bitch lied about having cancer so hell if I believe anything she says.

Point in case, we flash back to Manhattan, 2011, where Tamara is spying on August. As it turns out, their little meet-cute wasn’t so happenstance after all.

In his temporary Storybrooke home, Stranger Greg gets a call from Her. As predicted by everyone on Twitter, Tamara is Her. But since that wasn’t all that surprising, they decided to throw in a little shocker and Stranger Gregory Owen kisses Taser Tamara RIGHT ON THE MOUTH. AHH! It was even scarier than fully wooden August zombie-ing around.

Next week, Aurora and Mulan have long forgotten Prince Phillip and build a cozy cabin in the Enchanted Forest that, together, they call home. The week after that, Ruby storms into the hospital and kisses Belle to help her remember who she is. (Just kidding, there’s no new episode next week, or the week after. And those things only happen in my head-canon. See you the week of April 21st!)

What did you think of Selfless, Brave and True?

Here are some of our favorite tweets from this week:

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