“Once Upon A Time” recap: How to Tase Your Dragon (2.18)

 
 

Present-day August gets a knock on his trailer and is none too pleased. He is even less pleased when he opens the door to find a gorgeously smug Tamara waiting for him, hopefully with a book of matches.

August rushes into The Dragon’s lair with his stolen mulah and gets a potion that will stop him from turning into wood. Because of the whole wooden brain thing, he decides that, instead of drinking it immediately, he would run around Hong Kong a little first. Tamara finds him almost immediately and chases him down for the potion.

Present-day Tamara can see that August is wood, and she did know The Dragon was magic. She needs a favor, and he owes her one, since he practically murdered her in Hong Kong. She points out that she’s human, and very much alive — the potion worked and she says August can have some, as long as he leaves.

He’s like “ALL THE MAGICAL MAGIC IS RIGHT HERE IN STORYBROOKE AND CAN BE STOLEN YOU DON’T WANT TO DO THAT DO YOU?” And I have a feeling that if that wasn’t what she wanted, she sure does now. She tells him to GTFO and now I don’t know if he’s good or bad or she’s good or bad and I’m pretty sure this show is giving me trust issues.

Meanwhile in Storybrooke, Regina figured out who Stranger Greg is. She had held on to the keychain Little Owen had given her and says she didn’t recognize him all growed up. He points out that she looks like she hasn’t aged a day and Regina smiles her brightest smile and attributes her flawlessness to a monthly juice cleanse.

Regina said his father left shortly after Owen did and assures him that he is not in Storybrooke. She tells him that he’s leaving the next day or she’ll make him disappear. At least then he’d get to experience this magic that fascinates him so first-hand.

Snow, Emma and Geppetto are heading towards the RV of Sadness when Geppetto joins in the Blame Game and says this is all his fault. He then confesses that the magic wardrobe that took Baby Emma from the Enchanted Forest to the real world actually had enough magic for two people, but instead of letting her brave and gallant mother go with the suckling babe, he sent his kid without so much as a cricket to guide them.

Snow White’s hand reaches out and slaps Geppetto all on its own, but Snow quickly remembers herself and starts word-vomiting forgiveness as fast as possible. When she’s done, they find the RV, but Pinocchio is already high-tailing it out of town.

OK, I’m back to not trusting Tamara. As it turns out, she doesn’t have cancer and she IS on a Quest for Magic. She’s one of those people who ruin your favorite food by telling you exactly what’s in it, and has analyzed her little tube of magic with Science to prove it’s really magic. But she wants MORE and decides the best way to do it is to use her big, fancy taser on The Dragon.

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