Previously on Once Upon A Time, Snow White killed Cora by way of Regina, Tamara was too pretty to be trusted, and Pinocchio disappeared off the face of the planet.
We open in Phuket on October 24, 2011 (and yes, I’m 12, because I pronounce that phonetically). The clock strikes 8:15 (7:15 in Storybrooke time) and our old friend August awakes with a start. His leg is hurting because he’s turning back into a puppet. He tries to rouse his naked bedmate, but it’s too early to talk about wood. Plus, she’s probably pretty hung over if she had any part in the empty bottles rolling around.
In present-day Storybrooke, Prince Charming is doting on his bedridden wife because he literally does not know what to do with himself when she’s not telling him. Emma is tired of the pity party and thinks Snow should just snap out of it already.
Snow finally gets her little ass out of bed and tells her hubby that she’s going for a walk — a walk that involves packing a Mary Poppins bag.
Once deep enough in the woods, Snow is blaring music in her headphones and being badass with a bow in a moment that perfectly melds the magical and modern worlds she has lived in.
Going after a stray arrow, she notices that it was broken and goes off in search for the other half. She quickly finds it — in an RV — in August’s wooden leg.
Flash back to Hong Kong on the day of August’s pegleg incident. The doctor doesn’t see the wood, only leg, so August stabs himself in the leg to prove it, but all it proves is that his brain was the first thing to turn to wood. The doctor, understandably, yells for psych and August hobbles off for his life. He’s pulled into a storage closet by a young man who thinks he knows someone that can help – someone called The Dragon. (Keeping my fingers crossed that it’s Daenerys.)