“Once Upon A Time” recap (3.17): SwanQueen Magic

 
 

In Regina’s Sex Dungeon Vault, Regina tells Emma not to touch anything. Emma asks how she’s expected to do magic without touching anything, since her magic tends to work the best when they’re touching. Regina starts to explain her lesson plan, and turns around to find Emma deliberately disobeying her, because she no longer sees her as the Evil Queen, so she isn’t afraid of her even a little. Regina scolds her but it’s more adorable than anything else.

Regina asks if “The Uncharmings” are looking after Henry, which is obviously how they will henceforth be known. Emma says Hook is looking after him, to which Regina arches a perfectly formed eyebrow. Emma says she trusts Hook; he brought her back to Storybrooke. Regina says, her voice dripping with jealousy, that everyone sees the yearning looks and doey eyes. Emma scoffs and says she’s done no such thing and Regina knows that, obviously, but HE pines after her like Ron Weasley under a love spell.

Regina tries to start with a simple spell but Emma wants more Rumpelstiltskin-style teaching. Regina tells her that Rumple was a mean teacher and wouldn’t have cuddled her like she planned to. (Okay fine she said coddled but shh it’s better my way.)

OUAT 317-5“With our lesbian outfits combined…”

She said that if Rumple was trying to teach you how to swim and you weren’t learning fast enough, he’d let you drown. Emma is mildly horrified by this, and it gives Regina an idea.

She wooshes them to a rope bridge where Emma is in the middle, hanging precariously over a deep canyon. (How big IS Storybrooke, anyway?)

Flash back to Hook and Ariel marching through the forest, Ariel being an ingrate about her new legs. She wishes she could just swim there, despite the fact that I distinctly remember her complaining that flipping your fins, you don’t get too far. Ariel tells Hook that stories of his turn for the good have been spreading, which makes him rather grumpy.

In present-day Storybrooke, Ariel and Hook go into Gold’s shop, and Ariel and Belle embrace and then stand holding hands.

OUAT 317-6This is what dreams are made of.

Hook finds Prince Eric’s hook, recognizing it by the Kraken/Sea Witch clasp, proof that Eric was in Storybrooke at some point. Belle puts a locator spell on it and they follow it out of the shop.

Out on the bridge, Regina tells Emma she’s pushing her, making her react by instinct. Emma wants to go back to the vault, but Regina has a plan. She knocks the bridge out from under Emma, telling her that magic is all that can save her now.

Emma plummets to her doom, and for a moment Regina gets a terrified “what have I done?!” expression on her face.

OUAT 317-7“True Love never dies, though, RIGHT?!”

But at the last minute, Emma turns the remains of the bridge into a floating chariot that safely returns her to Regina. Regina says she had only asked her to put the bridge back together, but Emma asks why it matters, asking why she’s pissed because she just wanted to make her proud. Regina looks lovingly at her and says she’s not mad she didn’t listen, she’s mad that Emma has all this potential inside her that she’s been wasting by relying too heavily on her “superpower” of being able to detect lies with 62% accuracy.

Across town, Ariel and Hook follow Eric’s cloak out to the ocean, where it dives underneath. Realizing what this must mean, Ariel cries into Hook’s shoulder, while he squirms with guilt.

She considers the irony of Eric dying at sea, the place she left to be with him, but thanks Hook for helping her find some closure, even though she wished she had more details. She tells Hook he’s more than a pirate, that he has a good heart somewhere under all that eyeliner.

Flash back to the Missing Year, where Hook, Smee, and Ariel barge their way onto the Jolly Roger. Hook fights Blackbeard, who looks more like the cartoon version of Captain Hook than Hook does, and they demand to know where Eric is. Blackbeard tries to barter info for his lift, but Hook makes Blackbeard walk the plank, desperate to prove he’s not “good.”

He takes over the Jolly Roger once more, and Ariel slaps him across his pretty face and calls him selfish. She then makes an epically dramatic exit by diving off the side of the boat and swimming away to find Eric.

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