“Once Upon A Time” recap (3.07): Isn’t it just Darling?

Ariel isn’t afraid of these boys and their guns, mostly because no one has told her that they’re kind of like harpoons and they can kill her. Belle thinks they’re blindly helping the Home Office destroy magic, but the boys quickly correct her and say that they’re fully aware that they’re working for Peter Pan, and they’ll take that little magic box thank you very much.

Back at Camp Lost Boy, Pan and Felix are taking a stroll, talking about their plans in nice, loud voices, so that the oh-so-stealthy Henry can overhear. He even adds in a stage whisper of “WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T. TELL. HENRY.” to be sure the kid will follow him.

Emma and her merry men reach some tall brush as they head toward the Dark Hollow where the shadows live and Emma gives Neal her (well, technically originally his) sword to cut it down. This gives Hook the chance to tell Emma that he may have mentioned their kiss to Neal. Emma tells her the kiss didn’t mean anything, but that she did appreciate him not keeping Neal being alive a secret. He tells her that when he wins her over, it will not be by trickery, but that she will have to choose sooner or later. She once again shouts that she does not have time for gossip because a CHILD’S LIFE hangs in the balance, but he just tells her, “After we save him, the games really begin, Katniss, and you’ll have to choose Team Gail or Team Peeta. May the odds be ever in your favor.”

They find Dark Hollow, where the victims of Pan’s Shadowman are forced to spend all of eternity in the darkest darkness.

Tied-up Belle is sad that she isn’t as good at this whole hero thing as she used to be, but then she has an idea. She takes Ariel’s bracelet off, and Ariel wriggles them both out of the ropes.

OUAT 307-5Too soon to ship this?

Belle thinks the boys will probably use a Dwarf’s pickaxe to break the box, so my two favorite fairytale characters of all time head off to the mines to save the world together.

In Dark Hollow, Neal and Hook decide that right now is a good time to prove to Emma who is the most manly, not realizing that it’s exactly the opposite of what they need to do if they want to win her from Regina. Their idiocy makes them lose their lighter, so they didn’t light the coconut candle on time, and they both got pinned against the wall by shadowpeople.

For a minute, it looks like Emma is going to have to choose between them, but she huddles with her coconut, fends of a shadow with a sword, and then magics the candle alight. Pan’s Shadowman gets sucked into it, trapped, and the rest of the shadows disappear. Neal and Hook look dumbfounded and ask how she did it, and Emma’s chest heaves as she breathes out one name. “Regina.”

OUAT 307-6Looks like she’s made her choice, boys.

When Belle and Ariel get to the mines, the strangers are already there, about to break open the box. Belle stops them, and the fellas explain that they have no choice but to obey Peter Pan, because he has their sister hostage, and has had her for centuries. He has kept them stuck in their early-to-mid twenties to do his bidding for him, threatening to kill her if they didn’t. Belle says they can work together, and no one has to die. She is so sure that they can stop Peter Pan and save their sister. Ariel asks who their sister is, and the boys answer: Wendy. Wendy Darling. Making these fine gentlemen John and Michael.

Speaking of the little miss, it turns out she’s the one Peter Pan has been keeping behind door number two this whole time. Since she’s been on Neverland, however, she has not had the pleasure of being an angsty teenager yet.

Belle sends Ariel off with Pandora’s box, looking deeply in her eyes and hoping against all hope that they shall meet again someday.

Somewhere deep in the heart of Neverland, Felix leads Henry to a ladder, conveniently seeming not to notice that he dropped his big heavy bag on the ground right below it. When Henry stops to pick up the bag, he hears some coughing and follows it up the ladder. There, he finds little Wendy in a bed. She introduces herself and says she’s sick because the island’s magic is fading. She smiles at him and says he looks just like his father (but he has his mother’s eyes). She tells him that he has to leave before he catches her illness, but he leaves the bag with her and tells her that he’ll come back for her.

OUAT 307-7“I look pretty good for my age though, right?”

As soon as he scurries off, Pan reveals himself from his hiding spot behind some sheer curtains and tells her that she’s an excellent liar. She was vital in his plan to get Henry to believe in him.

Meanwhile, Regina and Rumple are still hanging out by the shore, skipping rocks and waiting for Ariel to come back. When the mermaid returns, she gives Rumple Pandora’s Box, and Regina makes the magic in her bracelet permanent. She tells them that John and Michael Darling are in Storybrooke now, and that Peter Pan is holding Wendy hostage. Regina couldn’t care less, but Ariel insists that if they can save Henry, they can at least try to save the little girl, too.

Rumple sends Ariel back with yet another message, though this one less cryptic. He will see her again. (Which is usually what people say about two episodes before they get killed.)

Charming and Mary Margaret (who have fought and made up while all the other stuff was going on) find Tinkerbell and tell her their plan to capture the Shadowman. She laughs out loud and says she’ll believe it when she sees it, but before she can even slam her treehouse door in their face, Neal comes back with his magic coconut. Tink’s eyes light up when she sees little Baelfire all grown up, and is now ready to help them.

OUAT 307-8“Took you long enough. I’ve watched all of Orange is the New Black twice since I left you.”

At Camp Lost Boy, Henry approaches Pan and tells him that he found Wendy. Pan plays it off like he didn’t want to put too much pressure on Henry by telling him that a young girl’s life was in his hand, but now that he found her, he should probably remind him that he’s the only one who can save magic. Pan leads Henry to Skull Rock, and paints the task like an adventure of which Henry can be the hero, an opportunity which he of course gobbles right up.

Next week our neverending trip to Neverland peaks with a battle of the Charmings vs. the Lost Boys, and Regina and Emma do magic together once more.

What did you think of “Dark Hollow”?

Here are some of our #queerytales tweets from this week:

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