“Once Upon a Time” recap (3.05): Our Son


Back in present-day Neverland, Emma has had enough and pins the Lost Boy to a tree, trying to shake answers out of him. Mary Margaret pulls her off and tells her to calm down. Regina suggests ripping his heart out, because then they can control him and get whatever message of hope they want back to Henry. Mary Margaret panics, saying they can’t do that because it’s wrong. But Regina wasn’t asking Mary Margaret. She asks what Emma thinks and Emma responds that she thinks they need to talk to their son. She literally says the words, “our son.” It only took her three seasons, but she finally got it.

OUAT 305-5“If your mother wasn’t here, I’d kiss you for that.”

Mary Margaret finally stops struggling and just stands there, pouting. She tells her daughter that she thinks her girlfriend is a bad influence on her, and she doesn’t want them to become one person like she heard all lesbians do. Emma rolls her eyes and tells her mother not to believe every stereotype she hears, as she sits there in a tank top and a perfect lesbian slouch.

OUAT 305-6

Regina is excited because now they will not only get to send a message to Henry, but they’ll be able to see him, too. She takes out a pocket mirror and splits it in two, giving half to the Lost Boy before sending him on his way.

When Captain Charming finally reach Dead Man’s Peak, Charming whips out his sword. Hey now, get your mind our of the gutter. Charming points his literal sword at Hook’s throat and says he overheard his deal with Pan. Hook points out that he didn’t take the deal, and that actually there was never any sextant up here. He tricked Charming into coming up here so that Hook can save his life.

Flash back again, to Killian cradling his dying brother in his arms. Pan appears once more to tell Killian that the waterfall behind the vines has the power to heal anyone of anything, but to remember that all magic comes with a price. Killian is willing to pay any price, so he gives his brother the water and Liam is instantly healed. However when Killian turns to ask Pan his price, the devilish pixie is gone.

At Peter Pan’s camp, the heartless Lost Boy approaches Henry and tells him (well, Regina tells him with the Lost Boy’s voice) that his family is on the island looking for him. He is rightfully hesitant, but then the Lost Boy gives him the mirror. Emma, Regina and Mary Margaret appear in the mirror, squishing their faces into view like family members using Skype for the first time.

OUAT 305-7“Sweetie, do you have enough underwear?”

Henry isn’t sure whether or not to believe this is real life, but seems mostly convinced by the time Peter Pan shows up. Henry carelessly tosses the mirror over his shoulder, where it falls, broken, just outside the camp.

Back in time, the brothers Jones return to their ship, heading home to tell the king he’s not in Good Form. However, as soon as they land on the ocean surface again, the Captain promptly chokes to death. Because magic always has a price.

In present-day Neverland, Hook tells Charming that the water in his jug is the cure, but the catch is he can never leave Neverland. Charming figures that’s still a better deal than dying instantly, so he chugs it on down. He is instantly healed and they are quite pleased with themselves. Their slash ship lives to sail another day.

Mary Margaret is still a little worried about Emma, because she knows how tempting Dark Magic can be. Emma says “our son” again and Regina says that she’s here to do dark magic so Emma doesn’t have to. Which is the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.

OUAT 305-8“What else do I have to do to prove I’m good enough for your daughter?”

Charming returns and starts to make out with Mary Margaret while Emma, Regina and I all make grossed out faces. Charming makes up some story about being ambushed by Lost Boys so that Hook can get some credit for saving his life without worrying his wife. He takes Hook’s rum and proposes a toast. Mary Margaret and Emma are confused but compliant. Regina doesn’t want to drink out of the same vessel as the two idiots, in case they’re contagious.

Emma gets Hook alone and asks if it’s true, and when Hook says it is, she thanks him. He tries to be suave and says he can think of other ways she can thank him but she is not interested. He tries a new approach and tells her that she couldn’t handle it anyway. Albeit a low blow, it was a smart move, because no one tells Emma Swan what she can and can’t handle. So she plants a kiss on his scruffy face and knocks him out of his pirate boots. She informs him that this was a one-time thing to prove a point and runs off into the forest.

We then flash back to young Killian Jones, sending his dead brother’s body out to see. It’s then and there he decides he’s not playing by some corrupt king’s rules. He burns the Pegasus sail to keep anyone from returning to Neverland, renames the ship the Jolly Roger, and declares them all pirates, for once and for all.

Present-day Hook is approached by Peter Pan (seriously, does this kid ever sleep?), who tells the pirate that Baelfire is alive and on the very island on which they stand. He leaves Hook with the option of whether or not he will tell Emma — a true test of character, another round of Peter Pan’s twisted game.

The final shot of this week is a still-unconscious Neal being strung up in his cage, next to an identical one, its contents hitherto unknown. Possibly Rumplestiltskin? Though I can’t imagine the Dark One being a caged beast for very long. Tinkerbell, perhaps? We’ll find out next week, I suppose.

Speaking of next week, we get to meet my second-favorite Disney character of all time (first being Belle) when we go back in time and under the sea!

What did you think of “Good Form”?

Here are some of our favorite #queerytales tweets from this week:

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