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N.Y. Scene March 2012: Miss Lez Pageant, Hey Queen and more!

N.Y. Scene is a monthly column that chronicles events of interest for lesbian and bi women in New York. Grace Chu has come out of lesbian scene retirement to navigate the vast and ever-evolving New York City scene, so you don’t have to. Follow her on Twitter.

Miss Lez Pageant 2012

Move over, Miss America and Miss U.S.A. The most prestigious pageant in the land of the free and home of the brave is Miss Lez, a production that has proven year in and year out to be wilder and more unruly than the unidentified mammal living on Donald Trump‘s head. The land of the free and home of the brave is, of course, Brooklyn, where – as we learned over the course of the night &mdsah; the “chochas” are free and only those who are brave enough to witness simulated period sex and Rapunzel-esque pubic hair survive.

Before the raucous performances and the NSFW-unless-you-work-at-Babeland interview sessions brought the crowd to stitches, Making Friendz, one of prolific queer musician Tami Hart‘s projects, kicked off the night.

Then nightlife icon Murray Hill, who produces and hosts this yearly salacious parade of poon, made laps around the stage and introduced last year’s contestants. 60 years from now Murray Hill will still be around and look exactly the same, kind of like a queer Barbara Walters. Last year’s winner, Drae Campbell, gave a final wave – or rather, a James Dean-esque glare – to the crowd as her reign as Miss Lez ended. The judges included several local celebrities such as Michael Musto, the World Famous *BOB*, Katrina del Mar, Jincey Lumpkin, Grace Moon and Yetta Kurland.

Among those in the audience were Jenny Shimizu and the newest castmember of The Real L Word (pictured below). Her name is Sherri Mikus, and you will be seeing her on Showtime very soon.

After last year’s contestants humped, fought and shrieked their way around the stage, Murray Hill shooed them backstage, sat back and allowed this year’s contestants to introduce themselves. The contestants were: Miss Que(e)ry (Bambi Galore), Miss Rebel Cupcake (Mary Wanna), Miss Hey Queen (Brown Meshugana), Miss Dapper Q (Lea Robinson), Miss Choice C*nts (Rebecca Macabre) and Miss Wildcard (Sophia Urista). Two of the more memorable introductions came from Miss Choice and Miss Wildcard. Miss Choice announced that she was running on a pro period sex platform and brandished used maxi pads, which she enthusiastically waved in front of a simultaneously horrified and delighted audience. Then she did the unthinkable – she tossed the pads into the audience, and they hit a camera crew filming The Real L Word. Then Miss Wildcard bounded on stage and declared that there should be “CHOCHA LIBRE” for everyone, and the audience roared its approval. If you are uncertain why the audience cheered, please take a short trip to Google Translate. You’re welcome.

Next was the swimsuit competition, and the standouts were Miss Rebel Cupcake, who appeared in a shark suit, and Miss Choice, who pranced around on stage in a bikini made entirely of tampons. Miss Wildcard leapt on stage and showed off a raccoon she was hiding in her, um, chocha. Well, it was either a raccoon, or she was hoping an audience member would shout, “Rapunzel, let down your hair, so I can climb up and get into your underwear!” Concerned about the mane that overflowed from Miss Wildcard’s fabulous golden one piece, a couple of the judges became boisterous and suggested that some of the contestants should go home and shave. The audience booed. Murray Hill glared at the judges and bellowed, “WHAT? SHAVE? This is BROOKLYN!” And the audience cheered.

Next was the interview portion. Miss Wildcard’s interview wasn’t really an interview. It was more of an excuse for her to continue pushing her “chocha libre” platform and to run around shrieking. It was so memorable and deafening that I don’t remember any of the other interviews. Sorry, ladies!

Next came the talent portion, and most of the ladies opted to do some form of striptease. Miss Hey Queen performed a hip hop inspired dance routine that started with her clad in Adidas and ended with her bum clapping wildly for the judges. Her booty not only clapped; it whistled and gave a standing ovation. Now that’s talent.

While Miss Choice and Miss Wildcard were both crowd pleasers, only one could be crowned Miss Lez. At the end of the night, the judges were moved by Miss Wildcard’s dedication to provide “chocha libre” to everyone, not just the 1%, and Miss Wildcard was named Miss Lez 2012.

Here are a few other highlights from the New York City scene.

Hey Queen! Queen of the Obscene

A muti-gendered and whimsically dressed crowd convened at Public Assembly in Williamsburg on March 10. If you want to see the rest of the mayhem, click here for the full photo set.

Truck Stop

And back on the isle of Manhattan, B-boys and B-girls emerged from the crowd at Truck Stop for an impromptu dance off. Ultimately though, as you will see, the overriding theme in Manhattan – as well as in Brooklyn – is of course “chocha libre!” And there will be more to go around, as Truck Stop will now disturb us all twice a month. Hide ya kids. And definitely hide ya wife.

And last but not least, why is this woman pictured below so damn happy? This photo was taken at Maggie C‘s 5th year Creme de la Femme/Eden anniversary party on April 4. At the moment this photo was taken, her wife, a marine, was on a plane back from Afghanistan. So I’d like to take this moment to thank and welcome back 1st Lieutenant Tricia Peckham and all others who served. Thank you, Trish!

Until next month!

All photos (c) 2012 / Grace Chu.

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