Diva on the Shore – Asbury Park, NJ – July 15-17, 2011
Every summer, thousands of women descend upon the Jersey Shore to play a little bit of dodgeball and drink a lot more than a little bit of cocktails. Diva on the Shore – or as I like to call it, “Dinah Jersey Shore” – is held twice every summer in Asbury Park, which was recently revitalized into a gay friendly beach community just a little over an hour from New York City.
Each time, there is a beach bar kickoff on Friday, then a dodgeball tournament on Saturday, and then a post-tournament bash called the Glow Party. Twenty-four teams participated in the July Diva tournament, including teams sponsored by Olivia Cruises and The Stonewall Inn. While I would have loved to follow around every team in the event, I chose to follow the team with the best t-shirt design, Team Ilegal Mezcal.
Ilegal Mezcal is a small batch artisanal mezcal distilled in Oaxaca, Mexico. Mezcal is similar to the more well-known agave based liquor, tequila, but whereas tequila distillers generally steam the agave before fermentation, mezcal distillers slow-roast the agave in oven-like pits lined with hot rocks. This process gives the spirit its signature earthy and smoky flavor. The result is a smoother, less acrid and less tinny liquor that warms rather than burns. Basically, you can drink it straight from the bottle, and you don’t even need a chaser.
Why the humping bunnies? Said Public Relations and Marketing guru at Ilegal Mezcal, Kaylan Rexer, “In Aztec times total drunkenness was known as ’400 rabbits,’ and people dont f— like, say, goats. They f— like rabbits.” After hearing this explanation, I demanded a t-shirt immediately.
Here are a few of the 400 rabbits affiliated with team Ilegal, including the team mascot, Judy. Team Ilegal was comprised of two teams assembled by team captain Lynn Dukette. As she explained, the two teams were as follows: the dodgeball team and the cheerleading squad/drinking team.
The dodgeball team
The cheerleading squad/drinking team
Judy, team mascot
Head cheerleader Kiri Jewell, lead singer of NYC band and rabblerousers AwShockKiss
Before the tournament, the national anthem started blaring over the loudspeakers, but unfortunately, Britney Spears was too busy to make it down to Diva to regale us. Never fear – Kiri grabbed a bullhorn and did the job better than Ms. Spears ever could – and without autotune! Team Ilegal not only had the best t-shirts, they were also the most patriotic and least tone deaf.
Next came the actual game.
Unfortunately, Team Mezcal was thumped by a team with airbrushed t-shirts. Not even a sweet t-shirt design, perfect pitch, and a love of America could save them, and they were eliminated in the first round.