i agree. black homosexuality is defininetly a taboo subject! I feel that this is in part due to an ingrained ideolgy of black oppression by white america. culturally, we have an acute history of forced capitulation, and for a black man to then come out as a homosexual and get f'ed by white men of his own volition is too much of a cross to bear, i'm sure. and so instead of dealing with it, we've trapped ourselves with down low brothas. of course this effects black women! because the ideology being used is the same. frankly, i am annoyed that woman-to-woman loving is often left out of the conversation altogether. do you think it's because the perception of a black homosexual woman is easier to accept than that of a black homosexual man? or are we operating under a patriarchal concern to 'clear the name of our men' before we can address the women?

hmm... i also don't feel that black homosexuality is adequately portrayed in mainstream media, at all. this is, in part, due to the very fact that we don't (or can't?) even talk about it in the first place. it's also because the majority of mainstream media is owned by, written by, and played by white people. it would be incredible to see homosexual characters that are not hyper-sexualized, and lesbian characters that are not always lipstick-gorgeous.

i think most heterosexuals have a slutty perception of bisexuality, in general. it's not simply that one is only attracted to the same sex or only the opposite, but that one is attracted to both. i've overheard it many times of how 'bisexuals are greedy' and must have some kind of 'wild sex drive.' whatever. this could be why it's hard to talk about bisexuality... folks aren't taking it serious!

- mb

 I have only 2 friends that know that i'm bisexual. one is a gay man and the other is my whorish straight best friend. she thinks bisexuals are greedy and he's just counting down the days until i say i'm a lesbian.  but neither one has made me feel less worthy of their friendship. she listens to and tries to support every crush i have expect for 1 girl, they hated each other. back to the subject, homosexuality and bisexuality is one and the same in the black community there is no in between. both are morally and socially wrong. homosexuality is looked down upon by the black community because most people feel that we have it hard enough just being and living black in american. so why add on the stagima of being black by also adding on being gay. i think its especially hard for young black men. just think if a black women comes out and says she's gay and then goes back to men, people just say she found the right man or she was just going through a phase. but if a black man comes out as gay and then tries to get with a woman its a different story. for black man there's no turning back. hopefully our generation will bring along a wave of change and understanding with in our own community. it just a shame that we have to seek out and ally ourselves with other cultures to better understand our sexuality because in our community it's a taboo. It funny that we will embrace and glamourious drug dealers, child molesters, and rappers that degrade OUR women but we have a problem with free love and the way a person loves another person or the way a person "gets off". so the real question is how do we change the perception of the queer lifestyle within the homophobic black community? 

Proud member of the marching and concert band geeks club!

To my beautiful, black bi sisters...     

This was an article in USA Today back in January.  It proves pretty much what I"ve always known. Bisexuality is genetic; just the same as homo and heterosexuality.  It doesn't make us anymore "slutty" than anyone else. It just gives us more choices.  This gives you something to tell those people who want you to go one way or the other or who think being bi is "slutty".

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-01-15-bisexual-women_N.htm

I'm proud to be both black and bi. I wear the bi colors everyday.  And if you didn't know there were bi colors, than check it out.  Search "bisexual pride" and you'll find items to wear, stick on your car or put on your fridge. Pass the word along to other bi women of color. 

I don't know if the black community is going to change. We just have to be ourselves and declare our identity when asked.  If we continue to hide in the closet, how are we going to convince the other identities that we are as valid as they are?

The choice is not the identity, the choice is being proud of who you are and that includes all of the parts that make you a fascinating human being.

Peace, Joy and Love

Very true and well said, Brenda647! In my fair city, there is a Bi presence, however, after much interaction with their organization, I've come to realize:

• Most of the members of organization are Polyamorous (look that one up, if you're not familiar)
• Most of the female members are Bi only to enhance the experience for their male partner (one woman says that she considers the other women "companions" rather than lovers and that she experiences "emotional closeness, but horrible sex with women" and "great sex but non-existent emotional interaction with men")
• Most of the female members don't want to discuss any topics that are woman-centered
• There aren't many women (or males) of color present at their gatherings
• Most of the members have had intimate dealings with each other...and I wasn't trying to sleep with ANY of them!

Needless to say, I got away from that group quickly!

As for the Black Community....let's face it:  If a Black Woman feels that her body and her sexuality belong to her exclusively.....she may as well wear the "Scarlet Letter", because our sexuality does not belong to us!  In order to have our sexuality seen as "valid" by the BC, it has to be found in or attached to a man....

For a long time, I wrestled with labels. Okay so I am attracted to women, not really attracted to men right now, this must mean I'm gay. But wait, I like this guy. Does this mean I'm not gay? I'm not straight. I dated a guy after being involved w/ women for a very long time and I had some gay friends who asked me point blank, "So what, you're straight now?"...and actually, that guy stopped dating me because he found out that I dated women. It's like you can't win trying to please others. It's impossible to fit into their narrow-assed definitions of who you shoudl be based on whom you're attracted to. People just have this need to place others in boxes. and, going back to one of my favorite quotes, "If i I didn't define myself for myself, I'd be crunched into other peoples' fantasy for me and eaten alive." I said, "fuck a box. I'm just gonna be me." I no longer feel the need to restrict myself/my friends/my interests relative to my sexuality (but it would be nice to know more people like me, who wouldn't judge me or write me off as flaky or confused).