Figuring things out

I just replied to your post in another thread (someone - a mod? - cross-posted it there), but I'll cut and paste my answer here, because you might not see it in the other thread.

dazed1, I'm in a very similar situation.  I made a post on this board called "Bi with a Boyfriend" recently.  I can relate 100% to what you said - I could have written your post myself.

"I am having a hard time with the fact that something so important to me I have yet to experience, if I ever can."

I feel exactly the same way.  EXACTLY the same way.

"I'm in a great relationship with an amazing man. I mean the kind of relationship one can see themselves in for a long time."

Yes, same here, and therein lies the difficulty ...  I know I'm onto a good thing with my BF, maybe even a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing.  I can't just break up with him because of my same sex curiousity.  (Well, not curiousity ... I've known for years that I'm very into girls).   But it's eating away at me, you know?

"I feel so in love, but at the same time so confused, like there is this whole part of me I am going to miss out on."

I know!  I am strongly attracted to women, more than I am to men.  Not having had the experience of being with a woman (not just sexually, although that too) has really been on my mind recently.  I feel like I'm repressing a large part of my sexuality.  Even though I'm in such a good relationship and so happy with my BF, I don't know how to reconcile this issue.  I feel like if I'd at least had a FF experience, then I wouldn't be SO curious, you know ... the whole thing of not knowing what it would be like.

"As far as a threesome goes I know not only would it mess up what I have with my bf, but I want my first experience with a woman to be special, to be just me and her, and to be about a relationship too, not just a threesome for sexual experience."

My BF and I have talked about this kind of thing (he is well aware of my attraction to women) and I don't think we could ever have a threesome.  It would cause too much jealousy on his part.  But the main reason is that like you, I'd want my first time being with a woman to be a meaningful experience, just me and her, and not just some hookup.  For me it's less about the sex than just wanting to be in a relationship with another woman.  We are obviously very similar in our ways of thinking about this issue.

It's a real catch-22 ... I don't have any situations, but I just wanted to say that I hear you. I'd love to talk about this more if you're keen.  It's becoming quite an issue for me.

Katherine

Growing up I had pictures of guy rock stars on my walls. Then, I got my first Fleetwood Mac and Heart albums. Stevie Nicks was(still is) beautiful. Then came Heart w/ Ann and Nancy Wilson...they were extremely beautiful. So, up went pics of them along with Bon Jovi, etc. I always wanted to be a rocker chick and these were my idols. I didn't think about the sexual attraction to them too much but I guess it was always there. I've always dated men and have been happy but somewhere along the way I started to fantasize about being with a woman. I think my first taste of excitement was in high school when I guy I was dating took me to see an X-rted movie.  Then another guy I dated in my 20's mentioned to me that he thought I was bi-sexual.  I denied it at the time, but he put on a movie with 2 girls kissing and I couldn't deny it any longer.  

I hadn't read this thread!!!

I AM IN EXACTLY THE SAME SITUATION TOO!!

My bf is amazing!! I feel like the luckiest woman to have found somebody like him!! We've been together for 2 years! And i love him! He's the type of guy I imagine marrying... and it's the first time that has ever happened to me.. I mean everything about him is great, and he knows me so well!!

But like every other person here... i feel totally attracted to girls, and i haven't had any experience with a girl. I feel like i'm missing so much. But i could never break up with my bf just because i'm curious.

We've joked around about threesomes but .. " I want my first experience with a woman to be special" =)

My guy friends know i'm attracted to girls (they think i'm just curious, if they knew i'm actually bi, they'd be shocked) so they always kid around that i should kiss this girl... They even have a "project" that involves hookin me up with a girl. I just laugh, and pretend i'm not interested. They say my boyfriend would love the idea of me kissing a girl.. But they COMPLETELY DONT GET IT! When i kiss a girl, it won't be some experiment or a "project" that my male friends have fantasized about... it'll be ~sighs~ if it'll ever be....

I think my bf knows i'm attracted to girls, well we've talked about a few things... but i don't think he knows the degree of attraction that i have towards girls. I think he'd be REALLY shocked if he knew i visited this page MORE MORE than regularly...

And it's funny because since he knows me so well, i think he has noticed when i get nervous around i girl i find attractive. Or there's this girl in my class, ~sighs~ she's .... probably straight, but there's this weird vibe.. and i find myself talking about her a lot.. And my bf just says, mmm so her again...

I don't know what to do... Or if there's anything to be done really. I mean i'm with him, and i don't think i'll be with a girl while i'm with him. I mean i seem completely unavailable and if some girl kinda likes me, she'll probably just say, well she's gotta a bf.... So i guess i wait... and just see what happens...

i know exactly how you feel... i believe i can relate to your situation. i am married to a decent man. all of my life, tho, i have been interested in women, altho it has only been in the last 2 years that i have come to admit it to myself. looking back, i guess i was always afraid to go with it for a lot of different fears. also, looking back now, it is quite clear what i have always felt. and, like i said, i have finally come to admit it to myself. i fell in love with a woman (yes, while i am married.) i had one intimate 'relationship' before with a woman when i was 18-19 years old. things were different back then. altho it was not [i:254ae9b04b][i]that [/i:254ae9b04b][/i] many years ago, i wish that i could have followed thru with what i feel towards women sooner. no, my husband does not know what i feel. i want to do the right thing but there is so much involved now. and i am afraid. i do not want anyone to be hurt by what i feel.