I do not think that age is the most important.

If you feel "chemistry", if you see that you two have something in common, you can talk with her and have always something to talk about (and the silence isn't painful ;> ) and - what for me is the most important - you fell safe with each other - soo.. who cares how old are u?! Esspecialy when you are more than 20 years old?!! Go for it and trust your feelings - not the calendar :)

Good luck for you two :)

That's how I feel about the age thing as long as you're both consenting...The Loving Annabelle thing freaked me out a bit because it can happen and does happen...I have always been attracted to older women but the oldest I've dated was 21 when I was 16...she had more experience being intimate, in our relationship, and life in general, so I always asked why me? I think because I was taller and mature and attractive and innocent to her..It does play a huge role because the older the wiser (really the more cynical) but dude just go for it and see what happens....KC

Y a tu mama tambien

is not a big deal unless the attraction only goes in one direction, or you were fifteen to her twenty five

---

My lovers have tended to be older than me with only a few exceptions, one was younger, a couple were my age, and one was only a few years older than me...

The women who were older, as in ten, and even twenty years older than me, tended to be more fun, as I do not suffer fools gladly, and I am quite serious for my age, though now that I am in my thirties, it is not so obvious that I am serious anymore, but in my twenties it was obvious, and I never really got along with my peers anyway...

Older women, can have insecurities about their bodies, but then so can younger women. The main difference is how one refers to decades, and in amounts of life experience, but those things are not hard to overcome, unless they are made into issues....

Younger women, tend to think they are being called children, when someone older references something that implies that at their age they would probably not have experienced it, or they were not alive when it happens. Not being too sensitive about things like that can help. The truth is, that a woman who is ten or twenty years older than you, has more experience, and it can be interesting...

Older women, on the other hand, can be very shy about their age, and their bodies, and are not as likely to be able to relate to popular culture as a woman in her late teens or early twenties might. Not to say that older women are unaware of it, but iPods and Britney Spears tend to be less interesting over time, well maybe not the iPods.. but what I mean is that is not so hard to accidentally make an older woman feel like an antique... Another thing to remember, that for example, I was born in the early seventies, which mean I actually did experience the eighties and nineties as a 'kid', and so on, so just because someone is older, it does not mean that they grew up in an era when there was no electricity. My mother is in her sixties, and she would be called a modern woman by many standards, her obliviousness about whatever top 40 music notwithstanding. Don't confuse decades with centuries...

Age is not an obstacle, it is only an obstacle if the participants in the situation make it one, and perhaps in the eyes of society as a whole it might be frowned upon, but worrying about what others think is not really a worthwhile thing to do anyway.

I would relate more details of my relationships, but it is not my way, unless an anecdote requires it, and I did not feel this did, so hopefully my experience described thus is sufficient.

... that age doesn't matter, but I never imagined I could attract an older woman. She used to date that woman her age for like 9 years so I don,t feel like I have what it takes. She keeps saying that she adores me and that I'm beautiful, but she will also say sometimes that she thinks of me as a little baby. The way she says it, it's so cute, but at the same time, I'm afraid that she will see that I'm too younfg after all and that I'm not enough for her ... And about the insecurities someone mentioned, I think it's true cause she seems to think that my body looks so good and not hers ... I think we both have insecurities about ourselves and the possiblity of dating ... We've known each other for like 4 years, but I guess the thought us being together is really new and that's maybe why we're not so sure where we're going...

"Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost"

And about the insecurities someone mentioned, I think it's true cause she seems to think that my body looks so good and not hers ...

I dated someone who had the same issue, but she was (two years) younger than me. I'm not saying that no woman will feel self conscious when comparing herself with a younger partner, but I think the issue can crop up regardless of respective ages (which I never understood because, if I didn't think she was attractive, I wouldn't have been involved with her (not that I'm shallow...)). I don't think comparisons like that make any sense, regardless of whether there is an age difference, but that's a whole different topic...

I do personally prefer to date people close to my own age, but I know a lot of couples with 10+ years in age differences, and they all seem perfectly happy, not to mention quite attracted to each other.

I always had a thing for older women, 10 – 12 yrs older, and dated them almost exclusively in my 20s.   

I don’t think age matters a lot of the time, esp only 10 yrs.  I grew up pretty fast and always hung out with older people, so it seemed natural to be drawn to older women.  I was a little wild back then, and being with them kind of calmed me down, helped settle me a bit, if that makes any sense.  

But it seems you 2 really like each other – so why would you let a couple of years get in the way?  Every couple has issues or “insecurities” or whatever.  I think you should just go for it.   Besides, you never know what an older woman can teach you!

I have to say that when it comes to love there should not be any barriers halting the process. And honestly, age doesn't matter. What matters the most is the feelings that one have for one and another.

I find loving older women a sexy thing and often I am attracted to them as well. Occasionally, I do check them out but right now, there is only someone in my mind yet I cannot get her yet ... :((

Back to the topic; older women are more matured in some ways, that is what I think and they just scream the word "sexy" to me ... Haha!

She always gives good advice ... She doesn't seem to mind and she says that I must do what my heart tells me and that there's nothing I can do that will make her love me less. She's really supporting me in everything I do...  I love my mom so much !:)

"Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost"

My girlfriend and I have been together for going on 7 years now.  She is 10 years older than me, and age has never really been an issue.  I act really old for my age, probably older than her, and she acts really young.  You would often believe that I was older her if you talked to us.... It can work! 

**It's much easier to turn a friendship into love, than love into friendship. --Proverb**

Not much about dating older women.. more like falling in love with them:

I totally fell for a teacher last year. I mean, really did! She's about 10 years older than me, really really hot and sweet and just mesmerizing. I couldn't help myself. Of course I knew that there was no chance of anything happening and I knew she was in a long-term relationship (with a man.. now married :\ ). But that didn't stop me. I mean, you can't control what you feel, right? I would make up excuses to talk to her all the time 'cause she made me get butterflies, and I would excuse myself for class to go to the bathroom when really all I wanted was to pass by from the class she taught and see her, I would take the long way to my next class so I could walk next to her in the corridor.. Anything, even to get a second with her. I would get totally depressed when she wasn't there or when I felt ignored. Eventually, after many tears, and a broken heart, I realized that it just wasn't meant to be. So I gave up. Was a wreck for some time but I got back on my feet and started my women-chase since

~I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket~

It wasn't enough that I had to worry about our age difference, now there 's this man who's totally in love with her and he's jealous of me because he knows she likes me. Everytime I see him, he's very polite and everything but I see it in his face that he's mad and that he doesn't understand why she likes me. What he doesn't seem to realize is that even if she didn't like me, he would still have no chances with her cause she's a lesbian. He said he's in love with her since the first time he saw her and this was years ago. He even left a long time girlfriend because of his feelings for her. I wouldn't mind that much if it wasn't for the fact that he's always hanging out where she works and tells everyone that he loves her and wishes she will love him too... I can't really talk to him since nothing's official between us ... She tried to talk to him but it seems he cannot understand ... maybe he just doesn't see what a 24 year old can bring to a woman like her ... Maybe one day we'll be together or maybe not, but I just hopes he leaves her alone ...  "Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost"

I guess I don,t have to worry about it anymore cause even if she says she loves me, she also says that she doesn't have time for a relationship because of her new job and also because even if she wants me, she still sees me as a little girl and feels too old for me...  :( I guess I'm gonna have to move on ...

"Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost"

I dated a woman who was twice my age. I'm 24ish. Actually, she was slightly over twice my age, at the age of 52. It was a difficult relationship, I was constantly seen as 'her sister' or worse, 'her daughter', and it drove me insane. Of course, she did nothing to correct those who mistook me as a relative of hers. Her family hated me, my family hated her. It was miserable. But I loved her, until the day she died. Slightly different circumstances than most, I suppose, as she died of AIDS. But still... as much as I loved her, I would not date anyone older than me again. The most I go for is five years difference. Even then, generational gaps can be difficult to overcome. I take my hat off to those who have made it work and am not against it at all, just know it's not for me personally!

age doesn't really matter. my ex was 3 years older but i was more mature in our relationship. she made me decide on everything which made me sick.. she couldn't do a thing without me.

well i like pampering my partner and that's a different thing.. i love giving and sharing what i have or know. i don't care if she realized that. i don't care if i didn't receive any thank you. i'd be happy for as long as i knew she's happy. when i love i give everything without expecting something in return. what caused our breakup were personal matters and personality differences. she never understood me whenever i expressed my thoughts implicitly or even explicitly. it wasn't a miscommunication. sensitivity matters to me. to understand the deepest part of one's partner is something that makes a stronger relationship. i knew and accepted everything about her but it's a big deal when you go crazy trying to make her understand things she can never understand.. argh! i can never be understood :(

despite my vagueness, all i wanted wasn't equality but intimate and passionate discernment - something that makes mutual love.

loving older woman (2)

V is 15 years older than me. our age gap didn't bother me at all despite knowing that my parents or people around us might not accept it. all i know is that she is wise enough to handle things well and so i'm trying my best to be deserving for her. our situation right now may not be perfect because we can't see each other often. however, we are extremely patient in waiting for the right time that we could happily live together. we just want to make sure that we'll never hurt others or neglect our loved ones.

To “see the light” too often has meant rejecting the treasures found in darkness. ~ Adrienne Rich

It seems like moving on is not that easy after all ... I still see her a lot and sometimes I wish I could take her in my arms and keep her away from all those men who just won't leave her alone ... But I feel like such a little girl ... even if I'm 24 ...

"Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost"

Honestly, I'd love to date much older/younger woman... I just think it'd be.... exotic (?) :P

and yeah, chemistry is all you need in a relationship, I guess.

I'm now 25, but my first girlfriend was 5 years older than me. I was 18 at the time she 23.  I had kept my interest in woman a secret till I met her, and she pulled it out in the open. Constantly pushing me to be more open to it. Over couse I dont think she tricked me or brain washed me but she did leave me shortly after getting me in to bed. We remain friends but the pain still lingers even now. Of course my family has dubbed her evil and the cause for me being a lesbian lol. I can't blaim her for that but I do think she prayed on me alittle bit. She's now in her 30's and has never dated anyone older than me. She keeps them young, and 9 out of 10 of them its their first time with another woman. Infact shortly after dating me she dated a 16 yr old who's mother told her she could "have" her which caused the girl to have to move in with her. Of course it didnt last long. I see now that she was and is a woman that do likes being the first. And Hasn't grown up so she keeps those around her young to make herself feel better.

Now, I'm 25 and for the most part have dated in my age range till recently. I just started dating a 20 year old girl. Who I adore so far, I feel the need to take things very slowly so I dont make the same mistakes my ex did with me. The only thing is that she seems to never voice her feelings regarding me. She tells me hows she's feeling about everything and anything other than us. I mean I know she's into me we spend alot of time together. And my friends have started making gaging nose at our "cuteness." I keep waiting for the other shoe drop. Which I know is on fair to her. But, its something I can't help. I suppose I just need to buckle down and voice my own feelings to her. Any advice?

Jessi 

So i feel weird...

i'm the outgoing, femme lesbian who gets along with everyone and the past 6 months i've dated so many amazing girls who were all pretty in their own ways but were also close to my age. I'm 20 years old by the way. Anyways though, i could have easily settled down with one of these girls but i couldn't bring myself to do so and i realized it was because the lack of interests we had...well as time passed i suddenly realized i was very into a woman who is 20 years older than me. i mean holy hell, she could be my mom!

it's such a big gap i know and i'm not looking for her to be my long term partner but still i feel awkward yet i can't help it. it's her personality that makes me so into her! i can't get this woman out of my head, she's utterly amazing :)

My first serious girlfriend was 24, I was 15. I never felt that I was being taken advantage of, and we got along just fine. Except my age allowed me to magnify any problems we had x3. Teenage angst+typical relationship issues=trouble. Of course, she couldn't understand why I felt things so intensely. It didn't last long. But all the girls I've dated except for 1 have been at least 2 yrs. older then I. Unfortunately I've never managed to attract really older women, like 15-25 yrs older, in spite of the fact that I am totally driven towards them. I get the feeling when a 40 or 50 yr old, dates a 20 something, they are kind of looking for someone to guide in a sense, perhaps protect, and I am def. not the guidance seeking kind. I always remind them of themselves, which apparently is not sexy.

Myself, I would never date someone younger, other then initial attraction (which I pretty much have for everyone),and maybe something casual, there is nothing in it for me. I mean I haven't even dated someone a yr younger than I. So I'm all for it. Long live dating older women! I have no explanation, no contribuition to answer why, and no wisdom to share, except their hot and if it's reciprocal then theres nothing left to say.

http://iwoulddosupermanifhewouldletme.blogspot.com project/art blog (english)
http://comadotcom.blogspot.com

I dated much younger, it didn't bother me since we got along at so many levels. I also told myself since I'm ADD that I'm actually 2/3 of my biological age, so we were perfect! Turned out she was also ADD so I ended updating someone half my age ;-).

--
"One does not see anything until one sees its beauty" - Oscar Wilde

Copied from a duplicate thread: 

 go for it!!! , shes admitted thats shes attracted to ya , you have nothing to lose , im 19 too i have always had a thing for older women, i fancy the arse of my boss at work if only she was gay, thats why i havnt quit yet lol i still have faith , plus i dont really think 22 years is much of a gap, thats my attempt on advice anyway!!

" if you are what you eat, you could be me in the morning"

I don't think age should keep you from testing the waters so to speak but when the age difference is great, it may be a problem as the relationship evolves.  My ex was 10 years older than I - although it wasn't a problem when I was 20 and she was 30, it really was a problem 10 years later. We were just in completely different phases of our life.  Although I am sure "true love" conquers all, don't kid yourself, we are generally "into" different things as we age and when that age difference is large, it can be hard to keep the realtionship together. 

Also, I think that as much as I denied it, there was a power differential there.  I made no money, she had an established career. Part of the things that attracted me to her (knowledge, confidence, etc) were all part of that power difference.  These things can exist in relationships without the age difference but in all honesty, I think big differences in age breed them.  I am now 46 and would probably have thought twice about signing up for the long run if I knew then what I knew ten years later.

 Just a thot and all things said, the heart will not be dictated..........

I say go for it but tread carefully.  Age isn't everything when it comes to relationships.  My wife and I are only 5 years apart and sometimes it will come into play, but other than that it works out very well.  If you feel you are mature enough to handle it than by all means explore it.  Remember she's going to have a lot more experiences than you which isn't always a bad thing.  Just make sure you are yourself when you're with her no matter what.

"Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from."

i see your point. age is really only a number - i got with my last girlfriend when i was 17 and she was 23, and broke up with her two years later because she was too immature for me lol. its still hard to look at this 22 year age difference as not a big deal though haha. i wonder what i could possibly have to offer that she would be interested in (besides, of course, the 'girl toy' appeal). i would just hate to wander into this as the niave younger woman, because i really do have no idea what im getting myself into! lol

im starting to think i should go for it, but be cautious and try to keep a level head on my shoulders. anyone else been in a situation with this much of an age gap?