What am I doing?

Ok, new here, i'm going to start my membership by leaving what will no doubt be the most pathetic message I've ever posted on any site any where - but i've gotten to the stage where I might murder someone if I don't get some of this stuff off my chest. (ok, so not literally.)

I dont want to bore you guys with too many details but up until a few years ago I considered myself to be bisexual, which is something i've never been happy with or honest about, and never really explored either. I was in a very serious relationship with a man and realised quickly  that I wasnt attracted to HIM at all and I wasnt attracted to ANY men at all and that was about three years ago. The relationship is over now and I havent been involved with any men at all since. So I dont know if i' still bisexual or if I'm a lesbian.

Right now I'm living in a rural town in ireland, there are no gay clubs (four hour drive to dublin) actually there's no gay anything, none of my close friends or family know, however a small group of friends from years gone past do and they treat me like I have Leprosy.  I'm twenty five and I feel like a teenager (you'd think i'd have worked this stuff out before, wouldnt you?).

 Next year i'll be going to a Catholic College for four years study for my degree and I've never felt so alone and isolated in my entire life. I don't know where to go from here or how to be honest with people about my sexuality, I dont want to be flaky and say i'm a lesbian when i'm not because coming out here is a big deal and I dont want to do it only to turn around in a few years and say "actually...."

So this is a right old mess, if any one has any advice at all I would appreciate it alot! Right now I'm starting to feel like living the charade of being in a straight relationship would be easier than feeling this alone. 

xx Shelly