To the lovely bisexual ladies, I have a question…
To the lovely bisexual ladies, I have a question…
Do you have body image issues? If you do they seem to change depending if you are dating a man or a woman?
I ask this because today I was indulging a co-worker in a mind numbing conversation about calorie counting, how to drop some pounds, how dress to look like you lost 10lbs., avoiding snacking during work, 100 best ways to drive a man wild and pretty much the heterosexist crap one would see in a Cosmo magazine. I was getting ready to lodge a sharpie pen in my right slightly near-sighted eye when I decided to bring up the gays.
She said she somewhat envied lesbians because there was no pressure to be pretty. Lesbians according to her don’t care for their looks and the pressure to groom and practice hygiene seems unnecessary. She then mentioned another “butch” looking co-worker (who is actually straight with kids) to be a lesbian because she does not care for her looks.
I blinked thinking that self blinding was even sexier now, channeling Oedipus. I briefly took the self-righteous “lesbians are not ugly’’ speech route and it dawned on me: how do bisexual women feel about self-image?
Bisexual woman are in a situation where they both date men and women. (U.S.) General society heavily implies that women should be thin, white, moneyed, and with a man. Female images from men’s magazines don’t really have an affect on me where I feel I should look like them but hmm she’s cute with that oar covering her breasts, is she supposed to be kayaking? I never been kayaking, seems like a lot of fun all of a sudden….My thoughts on it is that I have known some women to feel more insecure dating women because we seem much pickier then men although it might seem that the male expectation of female beauty is much narrower. I don't have to think about male gaze but to the women I was attracted to, what did they think of me? Or worse, the flaws that I saw on my body, if another women had them would I find her attractive? At the same time, there are women who find peace with their own body by loving other women. How did you bisexual women navigate some of the messages between the gay and straight communities about body acceptance? Did you have a “compass”? If you did, I would love to get my co-worker one!
Oh, after our conversation about our impressions on lesbian body image versus straight women body image, I told her I *am* a gay lady. She looked confused, very confused and within the silence that lasted well over three minutes she brilliantly said, “*Scoffs* Well one less pretty girl to worry about, but really? Oh-ehm-gee shut up! *laughs* Really, but you’re *pretty*”
I slammed my head into my palm then on the desk and was treated for excessive bleeding.*
*I really did slam my head into my palm then on the desk because it was “one of those days” but lied and told her I had a stint of narcolepsy.
So I’m gay and slightly dizzy. Yay.
