Lesbian slang?

Um. Honestly, if I wasn't interested in someone, that's probably what I would say to them. Probably more of a girl thing than a lesbian thing... =)

"Not interested in a relationship right now, but when I meet the right girl, I will be."

I'm afraid I'd have to agree...unless this girl has major problems that prevent her from dating, she is going to be ready the SECOND the girl of her dreams walks in.

Wouldn't you be?  =)

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that which we call a rose
by any other name would smell as sweet

Is she a gemini? we change our mind alot lol

Ah, here comes Flamboy with one of her woebag stories. Run away! RUN AWAY!! Oops too late.

I couldn't agree more. I wish people would just be honest with me. One of my friends I'd been crushing on forever made out with me at their house last year. The next day, she told me she'd go out with me, but wasn't ready for a relationship because she'd just broken up with her girlfriend. Meanwhile, I had just been dumped.

The next week, she tells me she's in love with her new friend, and gets into a friends-with-benefits relationship with her; a slutty high school girl. (I was at the Junior High as a freshman. My school district has a 3 year High School, and this friend I liked was a year older and therefore was at the high school and now had a bunch of cool high school friends I didn't know.)

That pissed me off a lot. Two months later, she tells me this girl turned out to be a slutty bitch. Big surprise there. I thought I'd finally get my chance!! But no. Then she falls in love with a guy named Sam who lives in Oregon. He comes up to Washington to visit her frequently and they're in love and I'm really, really happy for them.

Then, she broke up with him several months later because of the distance issue. I gave her some time to recover from that. Then, I asked her out. I asked if what she said last year about dating me still applied. She responded by saying she meant it then, but not anymore. She didn't want a relationship with anyone but him.

A week later, she has another girlfriend.

Thanks a lot.

Then I get depressed about it, she gets mad over it even though I have clinical depression and was sad in the first place, and she starts naming off all of my flaws and why they're flaws and why she couldn't possibly "stomach being with me". That certainly didn't help my anxiety and self-confidence.

If she'd just been honest in the first place, we could've avoided all that. I hate those "not ready for a relationship" excuses. COME ON, GIRLS. JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN!! :(

(trying to sound like House after being asked by Cuddy if he's being intentionally dense)

Huh? 

You talking to me? 
(in your PS)

I am guilty as charged... And I've been a victim of it as well.

I made out with this girl and told her she was cute but I had just gotten out of a serious relationship (by just I mean like one month after), so I straight up told her I couldn't be in a relationship BEFORE we kissed.

After the fact and a few other awkward moments (her holding my hand, putting her head on shoulder etc) I realized I shouldn't have kissed her when I drunk! And so I told her that I wasn't ready even to be friends with benefits... 

then she tells me that she really, really likes me... and I've realized that I really, really don't like her.

I feel like a douche and probably sound like one, but I mean well.

The point of this story is that you never know what the other person is going through... We all do and say stuff to ease the blow and I think it's only fair.

at least you got that, they just suddenly stop talking to me :( bad times!

i think i would much rather they were blunt and said im not interested, it leaves no room for confusion.. 

Say Hell No I am never going to date you or I am just not interested. Sugar coating things leaves the wrong message keep it real.

it also means "I'm keeping my options open." As in I'm keeping my options open to look for somebody hotter, right this minute, but might circle back around to you later if I'm lonely or horny.

Note that unlike, "I'm not attracted to you" which is the kind of feeling one would not expect to suddenly change...

"I'm not looking to be in a relationship right now" is a fluid state, meaning, it leaves her the option of, oh I don't know, making out with you and then shutting down afterward (because she "warned" you she wasn't looking for a relationship)...

but also leaves her the option of coming back to you when she strikes out elsewhere.

To say I'm sorry, I'm just not feeling it or just not attracted to you kind of shuts the door on you. You're not going to hang in there after that unless you're a masochist.

But the other, well that leaves her an opening to "change her mind" about you, or anyone, as her needs change.

This is exactly men's strategy too. "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" means "but I might very well even be willing to sleep with you, because my plan is to dump you the moment I meet a gal I WOULD consider committing to."

Well, I would say that at the moment I'm not looking for a relationship, because I'm honestly not... But thats not to say that if I found someone great I wouldn't wanna be with them.

So I wouldn't say it has anything to do with you, This girl probably wasn't looking for a relationship, but the other girl swept her off her feet and so she changed her mind. Don't worry about it, I'm sure that some other girl whos even better will come sweep you off your feet soon enough :)

Ok I should have told you guys that I met this girl on a dating site and she was deff. looking for love/dating. She even emailed me that she was happy that I wasn't moving away to be closer to my school. So we could still go out for a drink. If you are not interested in a girl then why would you be happy to go out for a drink with her? And after that not get in touch with me anymore only to tell me that you have found love elswhere.....

My exes do it to. I still talk to them and after a break up they go like ohhhh I'm so done with girls, I'm not looking for a relationship again. And then poof two weeks later they have a new girlfriend. Like wtf... teach me that trick damnit. But also there is girls in here that do the same. I just want to talk to them and then they say it too. That they are not looking for a relationship. Well thats ok, I wasn't chasing you or anything, just trying to make a conversation and maybe see if we can become (online) friends.
I prefer honesty I seriously do but geez don't be so paranoïd, feel flattered if you think that I'm interested in you. Like you i've had toooo much shit from girls in the past. And yes I'm open for a relationship but I've stopt looking.

Reach for the stars

out of a 2 & a half year relationship & have used the ' I'm not ready or looking for a relationship right now' phrase.  It's not because I didn't find the women attractive, it's exactly for the reason i've given.  I don't want to stop meeting women but I just want to make it clear to them that I just want to have a bit of fun, without giving the impression that I am looking for a relationship.

If i'm not interested in a woman, then i'll tell her exactly that.  Obviously in the nicest possible way.  I would prefer someone was honest with me, rather than sugar coating it & making me feel like I stand a chance with her.

 Yes in relality they not fancy you...which isn't your fault.  People either do or they don't and you may even find yourself using that very same phrase in the future :P

However My ex used that on me the 1st time we met, turned out she was completly relationship phobic and we were friends for months before getting together.  So sometimes it might just be they are being defensive...which isn't all that fun either. 

"if you're gonna die, bake a nice fucking cake"

~Dylan Moran

.. as honest as I can when I'm not interested in someone who shows interest in me. When you make the message even remotely open to interpretation, chances are that the other person will interpret things the way they see fit.

(I call it the Dumb and Dumber syndrome: http://www.afterellen.com/node/53637#comment-885543)

Lesson learnt the hard way, unfortunately. 

And I once made the mistake of kissing a colleague at a company party. The next day she acted as if we'd eloped to Vegas overnight and gotten married. When I told her I wasn't interested in a relationship with her, she said.

"But...        we kissed."  

Made me want to make my head acquainted with a wall. 

I'm supposed to be a linguist.. but I am dubious about my cunning skills for as I have also always thought those words mean just that.. until I learned it the hard way.

What is one supposed to say if they just mean that? "You're too ugly to date" instead?!? I'm lost for words..that don't bode well in my profession!!

Why oh why are people having such a hard time to say what they think..sure, not easy to be nice and not too hurtful, but surely it is less hurtful to tell somebody the truth ("I like you, but only as a friend") rather than pretend and then take out an upper cut on you (I'm not interested in a relationship right now"... next best girl comes along... "Hey guess what, I've gotten married")

I'm probably too naive but I've always thought those words meant just that..literally. I've never been able to see the wood for trees..when I ran into one, even then I didn't know what knocked me. And for some reason I still want to believe in the good of people.. maybe I should clone myself..and you..how's that for a thought..we'd take over the world ;D

Oh and.. thx for the clarification ;)

......  frosch411 online   ......

Somos una gente
Hay tantísimas fronteras .. que dividen a la gente .. pero por cada frontera .. existe también un puente