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Home » Forum » Advice (Dear AE...) » General Advice » I don't know what to do

I don't know what to do

Ok, so I hardly know where to begin. I've fallen in and out of love like everybody else, one girl inparticular still holds a part of my heart even though we never dated. She of course has a gf right now so I have no chance. But my real problem is that my friend who had to move all the way to Arizona (I'm in Ohio) is supposed to be coming back here when she turns 18, which is next June. I have no problem waiting, however there is also a chance that she won't come back. We want to date, but a long distance relationship would be too stressful, and she said she would date me when she came back. But I just have this bad feeling that something will happen where she won't be able to, and then I have nobody. I have yet to be in a relationship with anybody, and it feels like she's my only chance to be happy, and if I don't get her, I have nobody. I'm stressin out. :(
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Submitted by
Nicole (12 posts)
on July 9, 2009 - 10:42pm.
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TheDurst's picture

Don't be stressed out

Submitted by
TheDurst (16 posts)
on July 9, 2009 - 10:59pm.
Don't be stressed out everything will be all good things always are...everything happens for a reason right?..of course they do lol sit back take a breather and let things happen...if she cant move back and you two are unable to date maybe it wasnt ment to be but i dont know for sure no one really does :) hope everything works out for yah
MaryD's picture

Whatever will be, will be...

Submitted by
MaryD (182 posts)
on July 9, 2009 - 11:38pm.
and there isn't a whole lot that anyone can do about it... Good luck, hope she makes it back to you.
Shannon's picture

There's an up side and a down side

Submitted by
Shannon (700 posts)
on July 10, 2009 - 2:10am.

The up side to being young is you have a lot of time ahead of you and you never really know for sure what's going to happen (that's good and bad in a way). 

The down side to being young is we rarely ever have the patience to wait and feelings of the moment tend to be super intense. 

You've got yourself between a rock and a hard place it seems.  If you concentrate on being alone when you don't really know for sure you will be, then you'll get more depressed, more anxious and that one year wait is going to stretch on forever! So my advice to you is this: spend this year working on yourself.  Keep busy, develop more of who you are, what you like, and what you might like to do with whoever winds up in your life.  You'll find you're a lot more happy - and that makes for a more attractive person. 

I used to worry like this myself and sometimes I still do.  But someone once told me something very true.  No matter how bad it gets, there's an end, and where there's an end there's always the beginning to something else.  If you start to slide back into this dark hole you're in, take a time out and a deep breath.  Then try to find something constructive to do. And if she means as much as she seems to - keep in contact!  Then you'll know if and when she's coming back, and if not, you're not blindsided by it. 

Good luck and take care.

~Without risk, there can be no innovation.  Without innovation, there can be no advancement. ~

Nicole's picture

Thanks :)

Submitted by
Nicole (12 posts)
on July 11, 2009 - 2:29am.
I appreciate all the advice. We do keep in contact, I mean we were like bestfriends before she had to leave, so we text all the time. I care about her so much and I know my feelings haven't gone unnoticed, she said she wants to date me but since we do have an entire year on our hands who knows what will happen. I'm just afraid, just like everything else in my life, something will happen and I won't get what I want. You know, if I didn't have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all lol. And I almost feel like I can't date anybody in the next year because if she does come back and me and whoever I'd be dating are still together I would be breaking a promise to her and stuff. UGH this sucks.

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