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News, Reviews & Commentary on Lesbian and Bisexual women in Entertainment and the Media

Where have all the gay girls gone?

So, I'm getting ready to go to a friend's wedding this weekend. She's marrying this really great guy and seems to be really happy. The thing is, she's yet another one of my friends who used to identify as a lesbian. That makes five, count 'em, five former lesbian friends getting married to guys. This will be the third wedding I've been invited to, only one was an ex (oddly it was not as awkward as I thought it would be). Two bi friends have also gotten married to men in the last few years. Out of a loose group of ten of us lesbian and bi women, there are only three left who aren't married to men. A lesbian a bi woman and me (also bi).

I'm not complaining, at all, really. I'm glad my friends have found people they truly love and want to make a lifetime commitment to. I'm just a little surprised, I guess, and am also trying to figure out my own changing preferences. I have always been bi, but for years I was exclusively in relationships with women. That changed a couple of years ago and I started noticing guys again, and more. I'm in my late twenties now and I'm wondering if my biological imperative is starting to make my mind up for me. I really want kids someday, and the sooner the better, honestly. And, while I know in my mind that I could be with a woman and have kids, it's like my genes or something are telling me different. I used to be a 75/25 (at least) bi, women over men. Now, it has reversed itself, and I find myself noticing guys when I never used to. At the gym or on TV or in magazines. And I find myself sort of unmoved when I see a beautiful woman. Has anyone else felt like this at all?

 


Ash's picture

O_O

Uh oh... Yet another example of the changing fluidity of sexual orientation.

Maybe it's your hormones starting to kick into gear and wanting to make babies to continue the human race? xD But seriously, sexuality has always been fluid, and there's no need to really worry about it. I guess when that happens people just have to go with the flow. 

 

sick.girl's picture

yeah,

wise words up there. if you end up with a man and happy then great, why overthink it? same with a woman. love isn't really about percentages or gender loyalty at all. i sorta can get it tho; i've never noticed men sexually and if i started to suddenly i'd feel at least a little odd at first.
Melissa Hsu's picture

i havent but as a younger bi

i havent but as a younger bi woman i find your post very interesting. thanks for sharing.
Melissa Hsu's picture

Unexpected Love

Well they say sexuality is fluid... so you get that. We can never help who we fall in love with. I have never and I don't think I will be attracted to men. Ahh.. I don't know where they gay ladies have gone. It seems like all women and men want now days is men... but that is ok there are still some lady lovers left. Sorry I know I got off topic but couldn't help but feel a little sadden over all the women leaving us for men. I feel like the only “real” lesbian in this planet. But love is love and what can you do? It is ok to notice men a lot more now. It doesn't matter who you fall for, all that matters it that you are happy with the person that you are with.
Secondsex's picture

Second lesbian on the planet.

Attracted only to femmes and quite the lonely. LOL
Melissa Hsu's picture

Nice to know

It's nice to know I am not the only lesbian in this big world. :D
yaz's picture

I think I might be the third

I think I might be the third lesbian in the world! There's so many! We could have our own pride soon lol :D
Melissa Hsu's picture

You people are funny

lol, we can have our on pride soon. Make me the fourth lesbian in the world.

Back to the subject of the post now. I think that what your experiencing is normal and like many others have said, sexuality is fluid and therefore you can fall in love with anyone. If you happen to fall in love with a man, great! If not and she is a woman, great! As long as you are happy with whom you're with.

 

 

simplysweet's picture

Wow..now they show up!

Wow..now they show up! lol.where were you all hiding? jk =]
iley's picture

sexuality is fluid?

Thats such a 21st century thing to say. Some people just arent brave enough to live the lives they were destine for.