I end up talking to my mum about my ideal date, and bless my mother - I think she's still deeply in denial about my preferences, just assumes it's a guy I'm talking about. It doesn't annoy me, it just frustrates me I guess. Last year we had this big argument about how I don't think she should be trying to play matchmaker with all her friends sons (I'm waay too tired to work out where the apostrophes should go). She told me if that was the case, she wouldn't expend any more emotional energy on, so I replied 'Fine, don't'.

I just feel guilty because I'm lying to her all the time. But I love her and I don't want a huge argument again, so I just bite my tongue now.

I realize that my parents are so nice and open-minded about it. They just want me to be happy ! :)

"Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost"

My mother has reacted "violently" everytime I have tried to bring up this issue. My solution : stop talking about it. Like someone else pointed out, parents think it's a phase. Infact, a lot of my friends believe in that.

It's difficult for them to accept it. It's like their whole world crashing down. Parents are usually fine with deep down but people around them are not, the whole society comes into the picture. It's a vicious cricle. Over here, a lot of them don't even know what it is and telling them your daughter likes women is blasphemic, unusual, weird, nonsense and what not.

I want to come out eventually but only after I can take care of myself, preparing for the worst :/.

My parents are OK after I came out. I mean there wasn’t anything really intense between us. My mother’s still asking me for EVIDENCE though. They kinda believe in 紫微斗數(zi wei dou shu). It’s a kind of Chinese fortune-telling thing. According to it, I will have a HUSBAND who loves me very much and is talented. WOW! And we even will have two kids. So…anyway...I think I’ll just let them keep this fantasy of my so-called sweet heterosexual family.

I totally get everyone here.

My mums a total homophobe. you know.. those really conservative christians? I mean, I'm a Christian myself. But my mum is so annoying when it comes to "oh my gosh. Being Gay is a sin. You're going to go to hell!" and all that.

When i first came out to my mum about being gay, she kicked me out of the house. and then my past gfs? She's rung their parents and have asked them to make us break-up. I mean.. how PATHETIC! and to think that she thinks "lesbian relationship" can never be monogamous? I feel like screaming, "hello mother. I, your daughter, has just proved you wrong, coz I'm into monogamous relationships".

Even my twin brother hates me now. He's physically abused me for being a lesbian.

But after 2 years of putting up with that crap, I've learnt to block my mum and my twin brother from my personal life.

All i can wish for is that, when time passes, our generation will grow up to become a generation with non-homophobic parenting. 

My mom found out I was gay in January this year. We live in the midwest so.. my mom is a complete homophobe. She grew up in a small town and everything. She told my grandparents and my fathers(stepdad and dad). My sister already knew. Shes pretty much the only one that thinks my family is taking this too far. My mom wanted to kick me out and send me to my dads. This summer shes sending me down to Texas so she doesn't even have to bother with me. Of course,  They think it's a phase and it will pass over. Everyone except for my mom has really "gotten over it" . I think my dad is still in shock. It's acutally kind of sad to bring up what was sad that night they found out and all that they said they didn't mean, My dad told me he was happy that it was me being gay than me being pregnant the night he found out and then a month later he denies that he said that and that he'd rather me be knocked up than gay. My mom went into a complete depression after she found out. She was an alcoholic already but it just got worse afterwards( Is passed out 24/7) My mom likes to make fun of gays and lesbians right infront of me and she doesn't even care that I get hurt everytime. She used to love my girlfriend before she found out that she was my girlfriend. Now she hates her but she won't ever admit it. I hear people say how great it is to come out but..since comming out..I've just gotten more scared to be gay.  When I ask my mom to go to a psychologist or a counselor she doesn't want to because shes scared that I'd tell the counselor all of her problems so that would make her look like the bad person which I guess the true bad person is me?

Owell I don't play along with her shit. I got 2 1/2 more years left of school and then I'm out of here, for good. God, I can't wait till then.

-Megan

My mother stormed my room the other day, announcing that I should get up because "there are hot guys on the roof." (They're building a new house next door, that was why.) And I just thought, what the hell did I even come out for? If I had known it would be so completely and entirely ignored, I could have saved myself a lot of sleepless nights.

lol, all you need is to go to a shrink, i'm not saying that seriously, it's just that you kinda have to play along, if you go to a shrink your mother will think you've finally opened your eyes, but tell her you want to choose the shrink (just in case she pics a very religious one -_- in wich case tha plan doesn't work)

well you go to the shrink, explain things to them and later then he or she will want to meet your mother (who is the one that actually needs a shrink, cause you're ok with yourself... she is the one on denial)

pd: sry is someone said this b4 i just didn't read all the replies

I am not planning to come out to my family until I found someone I really love and loves me back.  I think my mom suspect I'm gay since my younger years.  (I never wear dress nor make-up, likes to play with cars, toy guns, video games instead of dolls and other girly crap stuff, gets very irritated whenever she asked if i have bf)  My dad is pretty clueless since we don't talk much.  My oldest sister and brother probably suspect it....my second sister should figure out by now, but she's a total homophobic and is probably in denial.

If I were ever to come out, I think my mom and brother would be ok with it....not too sure about my dad or my older sister....my second sister would probably never talk to me again (which I don't give a shit if she doesn't)

Anyhow, I don't want to come out to them just yet because I don't see the point now since I haven't met the right person, and whether they accept it or not, I am pretty sure they'll still make gay jokes to me from time to time (especially from my mom)

Sorry for ranting...

I managed to *hide* it from my folks until I was 25.  Since my mom had a habit of waking me up out of a dead sleep as a teen and asking "are you gay?"  I think they may have had an inkling.  I wanted to make sure that I was independent (financially and emotionally) enough to survive without them should that happen. I sat them down, and had a little script (k, I'm prepared girl, alright?) that I had ready.

My mom cried profusely, wanted to know how I knew (I responded, did she really want to hear that?  Cause I'm not sure she was ready to hear that I REALLY loved sitting next to Emily on the bus in middle school cause our thighs touched) then, acting like nothing was wrong, insisted that we all go to an expensive brunch. We're a southern family like that.

My dad said told me to not do anything depraved.  At 25, I was speechless, cause I think I might have needed that warning muuuucccchhhhhhhhh earlier in life, but um, okay. Nothing depraved from here on out.  maybe.

Neither is okay with it. No one in my ultra conservative, 13 generation southern family is, but they have this weird way of just acting like it isn't there.  Which, is infruriating because I won't bring around my lady to meet them for fear they would treat her ill. 

In retrospect, I wish they had just been straightforward rejectionary instead of passive about it and then we all could have moved on. . .

But, I'm still glad to have told them. I have no idea how I had the guts to do it, but yay me. And yay to everyone else.

while timing (getting yourself ready to face the consequences of coming out) is important, i don't think time has something to do with your mother's acceptance about how you feel towards yourself and others when it comes to sexual preference. i guess almost all parents already have the idea about homosexuality and if they can't accept LGBTs, they are most unlikely to accept their daughter/son for being one of them. i'm not sure if your mother needs time to think about your situation and then eventually accepts you but i pray that she will because she has to realize that being your mother, she has to love you regardless of who you are as long as you are not hurting others, negatively affecting the lives of other people or becoming a liability to your community.

i don't know how you should convince her that being in your situation is not something to be devastated or fear about. i really don't know if her silence means she's sorry for giving such harsh reaction or trying to understand your situation or she really can't accept the truth. just show her that you are doing fine especially with your studies and assure her that you don't mean to ruin your life just because you are attracted to same sex. be strong and patient. who knows she'll have a change of heart someday?

To “see the light” too often has meant rejecting the treasures found in darkness. ~Adrienne Rich

About 2 years ago I was with the love of my life but when my family figured things out all went to hell.  It hurt her because my mom plain out said she would never accept her. My 2yr and 3yr old nephews one day said we are praying for you, not even knowing why they were.  I got really depressed and knew I couldn't really talk to her because it hurt her so bad, I hate to see her cry, so I became withdrawn and well she handled things her own way.  I didn't know what to do and as she got worse, not coming home etc, my family basically letting me know I was about to be disowned and me feeling so overwhelmed I did what my family told me to do and left.  She thought and still does that decision was sooo simple for me, but I have never bucked on what I have been told to do before.  So, I went back to an old boyfriend and been living in hell ever since.  Putting up with so much crap, but "at least it's a man".  I loved her so much and still do.

Well here recently, now that she's not hating me, we have gotten back to being friends, well a little closer.  All that love I had hidden for so long, been depressed about because I have to hide and be unhappy for everyone else, has hit me with a wall of emotions.  I do not know what to do! 

I'm tired of having to take pills to be happy and feeling like I am living someone elses life.  But I am scared to death of a relapse.  What do I do?  Anyone got any advice?

are you with both of them? it must be tough.. i'd go crazy to be with a male i can never learn to love. hiding your relationship with the woman you love is difficult but if you try harder at least it's worth a sacrifice because you have the love of your life. how about planning and saving much so you can be with your woman surely and securely in case your family will find out about your relationship with her again? how about praying hard that your family will eventually learn to be open minded or try to convince and explain to them that loving someone is not like choosing what to wear or eat and that your situation is different but a reality to deal with?

To “see the light” too often has meant rejecting the treasures found in darkness. ~Adrienne Rich