Welcome to AfterEllen.com!

Enter your AfterEllen.com username.
Enter the password that accompanies your username.
News, Reviews & Commentary on Lesbian and Bisexual women in Entertainment and the Media

out..?

hi, im chloe. i am bisexual, but i havent told anyone. mainly because i dont know how people will react. my parents are pretty religious so they would freak. i was wondering how you guys came out (if you are) and did you get the reaction you expected? :) x

sdca20's picture

I came out to my good friend

I came out to my good friend recently and he took it great. (He is gay also) Our friendship has become so much greater too, and let me tell you he is a great wingman when picking up girls at the bar ;) lol .. and honestly, I've never felt so much better than after I came out. It's a great feeling and I can't wait to tell more people. I encourage coming out greatly! ha :)
Chasity.xo's picture

me too...

im bi as well and i can honestly tell u, my parents didnt (and still dont) believe me when i tell them i am so. I believe my moms exact words were ' theres no such thing- u either are or arnt' !!?!?!?!?! WTF MOM??? lol so i just ignore her bcuz i know she loves me regardless and i know in my heart who i am :)  so i guess the answer to that one is no, i didnt get the reaction i expected ( i, like u, thought my parents would freak) my friends all except it and thinks its lovely so i agree with sdca...its a great feeling, weight of ur shoulders to tell people, u dont feel like half of who u are or like u are hiding, just be urself :) good luck hun!
moonflower1983's picture

I know the feeling

I am still trying to figure out how to tell my parents that I am bisexual. I am sure this will come as a surpirse because I have never talked about my sexuality with them. I figure that pretty soon I will have to come out because I am getting sick and tired of keeping this secret inside. I am not sure of the reaction I will get because my parents have never expressed their feelings on lesbian/bisexual people. I am sure there will be disappointment because they would prefer that I was straight. I also think they will be upset that I didn't tell them this sooner because I have kept this a secret for over 10 years. I will tell them that it's hard being bisexual in a mainly straight world. Hopefully they will still love and respect me.

Good luck telling your parents! There will be disapppointment but they will still love you the same because it's who you are and you are their daughter. 

Melissa Hsu's picture

thats the thing

i just dont think my parents (my mum in particular) will understand where i am coming from. I rekon she thinks that you are either straight or gay and thats it. im close with my sister, we tell eachother everything, and i feel bad for keeping this secret. I always want to say something but i just cant do it. i know it will be a relief when i finally do tell her. :/
Nicole's picture

Personally

I've only come out to a few friends. There's only one who doesn't accept it because she is all religious and stuff and says it's a sin and it's a lifestyle I choose and can stop anytime I want. Somehow, we are still friends though. As for my parents, I honestly think if I can avoid telling them, that's what I'm going to do. It's not that I know what their reaction will be because I know it could be anything, but more I'm just afraid they'll completely flip out. So, I think as far as my parents are concerned, I'm keeping it on the down-low.
She She's picture

A few...

I have come out to a couple of my really good friends and overall it has been a really positive. My one friend that I told me that I was confused and that she would pray for me. I know how bad that sounds, but she has come around since then and we are good now. Everyone else has been wonderful. I have not specificlly told my mom, but I have lived with my g/f for 5ish years, so I am sure that she knows.
tasteslikefire09's picture

im out-ish

The few close friends that I've told are completely okay with me being bisexual. My best guy friend is super supportive and lets me talk to him about it. Telling my friends was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, although I've only told the ones that I know are accepting of it. If someone asks me though, I'll be honest. As for my parents, I just told them this week. So far they've both gone through the typical stages...shock, denial, grief. Their stuck at grieving right now, especially my mom having to come to terms with how she thought my future would be. As for your parents not understanding being bisexual, I think it really helps to have online resources they can look at to try and understand. I don't know, I think it's all about having patience with them after all I'm sure it took you awhile to come to terms with it as well.

dancingdi's picture

I'm out for the most part

I've been out for a long time.  I came out for the first time in high school and since then I've been kind of matter of fact about it in most cases.  My friends have all been very accepting and as long as I'm happy they're happy for me.  I think I only have one friend who is weirded out by it and that's mainly because she's really young and sheltered. I think she'll get over it soon.  The only place I'm not completely out is at work and that's because there used to be another out bisexual girl there and now everything she does she's referred to as "that bisexual girl".  My bisexuality is not my entire identity and I don't want my sexuality taking away from the fact that I'm recognized for being good at my job.  

My dad didn't really understand the "bisexuality thing" as he called it, but he was accepting and really didn't do much one way of the other.  My mom outed me to myself (long story for another thread)  and thought it was hilarious when she did so she was ok with it.  My grandmother is the only hurdle right now.  I'm not really out to her...I insinuate a lot of things and I think she hears what I'm saying, but she's super religious and involved with her church so chooses to ignore it.  We also live 800 miles apart so my life is just sort of my life how I choose to live it. I think she'd eventually be ok with it if I introduced her to a girlfriend if she saw that i was really happy with the person.

 

 

Dance like no one is watching. Love like you've never been hurt.

Melissa Hsu's picture

its good to hear everyone

its good to hear everyone elses experiences. i recently came out to my sister, and she was completley fine about it- which i kindof expected anyway...so it wasnt a big deal. but it was such a weight off my shoulders. still havent told my parents but i just dont want to. :)
Lia's picture

Glad It Went Well / My Own Experience

Hi, Chloe! I am glad it went well with your sister. I am in a similar situation - my sister was one of the first people I told. And she accepted it with no qualms and was loving and supportive, as I would have expected of her. And she and my girlfriend also get along very well. ^_^

As for the rest of my life, I am out to close friends and my girlfriend's friends. I am not out at my work. My personal life is none of my coworkers' business, and there are a few that would probably make it their business if they knew that I am bi and dating another woman. It would simply cause too much trouble, and it is not worth it to me, as I have a good, secure job. Fortunately, I do not have to see my coworkers outside of work. As for my parents, I cannot really see myself ever telling them.

xavier8228's picture

Coming out

Who does the deed and leaves the saucepans on?!

 

I actually just came out to my parents yesterday. My mum said she knew and she was waiting for me to tell her and my dad was upset because he thought it was the reason I wasn't coming home - that I was scared to tell them. They had met my girlfriend twice but I hadn't introduced her as my girlfriend. Plus my siblings already know - all 5 of them and they are all cool with it as are all my friends that I told. It took me several years to actually tell people and i would say that when you are ready you will know.

P.S. My girlfriend sent me flowers to my workplace today because I came out and she's on holidays in Tenerife! I gotta say thats so sweet!