I kinda think the big deal is being true to yourself.... So in that sense it is a big deal. You should not be living your life in fear of what others might think, and that is what makes it such a big deal. The fact that it is a struggle to be accepted as a lesbian, and that it would probably be easier if you were not. Society imposes all of these rules "what is socially right" and "what is socially wrong". Personally I think that it is deplorable that any human being (with all the inherent deffects that tag along) judges others, thus making a big deal, of what is in essence quite simple. You are who you are.

"You and I wear the dangerous looseness of doom and find it becoming. Life, for eternal us, is now and now is much to busy being a little more than everything to seem anything, catastrophic included.."

I think it depends entirely on your environment. I have no problems with my sexuality, I don't think I'm weird or different at all, and I'm very proud of the person I love. But I do feel the need to hide it sometimes for the sake of my own happiness. For example, if my wife and I are walking down the street at night relatively alone, I probably won't hold her hand and risk the insults and/or attacks that may follow. I wish I could but it wouldn't be worth the hassle or danger of it all, sadly.

So yeah, it's not a big deal to me but it sure is to other people. :-P

True happiness, we are told, consists in getting out of one's self, but the point is not only to get out, you must stay out; and to stay out you must have some absorbing errand. -Henry James

I think that some make it out to be a bigger deal then it really is.  Of course, environment and personality plays a big role in this.  When someone first comes out or realizes -- Then it's a HUGE deal to them. 

But it seems many lesbians (not so much bisexuals), like Hippe Chick said above, make too big a deal of it.  You're just as much a lesbian if you're comfortable with your sexuality as those lesbians who feel they have to scream it to the world by wearing bad 'lesbian' jewelry and throwing it in your face.

I went through the 'OMG I am gay and everyone must know it' phase -- I look back on it in horror now.  ;)

Probably when we first come out it is a much bigger deal because we are trying to figure out how to integrate this into our public lives. I still wear the odd t-shirt but only because I think it is a funny t-shirt. I've been out for over 20 years now and I have been out at work, at school, at the law firm I articled at, to my family, my neighbours, and the whole nine yards. Party it seems like a big deal because you have to keep coming out and claiming your space because of the general assumption that everyone is hetrosexual.

For example, at work, some of the gals were talking about what they did for their weddings. This was before Canada legalized gay marriage and my partner and I had had a commitment ceremony in front of large numbers of our friends and family. For all intents and purposes, it was a wedding. For me, it was just as valid a statement of my committment as their weddings were. But when I spoke of it, you could tell that they did not think it the same kind of thing at all. I called them on it and we spoke about it and they agreed they were being dismissive. Was I making a big deal of it? Perhaps but I felt that I had to fight against being rendered less important. Actually, it's kind of funny because my partner and I have taken more steps to be committed than most straight couples: we've had a commitment ceremony, registered for civil partnership, and gotten legally married. No one can put us assunder. When I first came out, gays and lesbians were not covered under the human rights codes in Canada. Now we are protected under our Charter of Rights and Freedoms (part of our Constitution) and can get married. Exciting times to be living in. Cheers.