When I taught second grade last year, I was out.  Now that I am dividing my time between substitute teaching and tutoring, I am not in any place with adults long enough to justify coming out.  It simply isn't relevant if you are only with a student or a small group for an hour-and-a-half each week.

When I came out to my colleagues last year, I did so slowly and individually.  The reaction among friends was predictably strong, and the rest of the staff smiled and nodded and seemed uncomfortable when I was caught staring at pictures of my then-girlfriend when I was supposed to be participating in a conference.  Oops.  The administration was wonderful at that school and they were all fully supportive.

"Better than a thousand useless words is one word that brings us peace."

--The Dhammapada

I am a teacher in the elementary school of a VERY small town with about 3,500 year-round pop., and I'm not out to my colleagues.  However, there are two teachers at the high school who are out and are given high respect as professionals and educators.  I recall that it took a very brave teacher who came out over a decade ago to change the closed-mindedness of the people in this area.  She was forced out of her coaching position and all but asked to leave the school as a teacher.  Since then, the people in this town have evolved a bit.  It's because of her that others can be open.  I don't want to make it all mooshy and stuff, but those before us do make it easier for those yet to come.  I guess it depends on your own gut feeling about the situation.  I would feel more confident coming out if I knew one other teacher who was out at the elementary level (I'm a newbie too, and with everything, I like to test the water before leaping into ANYTHING with work).

 I am studying to be a physical education teacher and am quite close to receiving my degree and I already am beginning to substitute at school around the area, as you only have to have a certain number of credit hours to be considered. I am not out to anyone in my department, although my advisor (a very butch lady, who I adore to peices, has given me knowing looks before). I am afraid to come out to my coworkers, anywhere. My best friends know, and some of my sorority sisters, but not even my mother knows for sure yet. However, I have some faith.

My high school Geometry teacher was an obviously gay man. He had taught at the school for 32 years (and went to college with my father, heh) and was endearingly called "Gay Ray". We loved him. He was a unique and caring person, who even the other teachers adored. The only problem the school's administration had with him was that his liscense plate read "Gay Ray" at one point. He had is changed to "Hey Ray" some years before I attended high school. I admired his courage and knowledge and everything about him. He is now retired, but with his extensive acting backround, I occasionally see him in local television commercials when I am home from school. I hope I can be like him as a teacher, even though I still got a B in Geometry and sucked at math, he taught me so much more than that.

I guess what I am saying in this long-winded post, is that maybe we should just trust ourselves and our coworkers to be sure when it is appropriate and "safe" to come out as teachers. It doesn't have to be a banner if you are not comfortable with it, but you can still be yourself. And trust me, some people will always know, and they will love you anyways. Actually, I only had one straight/married coach in high school. The others were the most popular female teachers in the entire school. Good luck, darlin, I hope you find your inner strength is greater than someone else's ignorance.

" But soft!  What light through yonder window breaks?  It is the East and Juliet is the sun!  Arise fair sun and kill the envious moon." -  Sometimes I feel like Romeo.

6 months before I was due to graduate with my teaching degree I dropped out, due to emotional issues, one being the fear of not being able to come out... All was not lost because I graduate later this year as a Qualified Teacher Aide and I now work as a childcare worker in after school care with a special needs child... I'm not out there, but if you looked at me you probably could tell... I wish I had the courage that some of you girls do... instead I'm seeking out a different career 
Always fighting against the current, the salmon has long been a symbol of determination. (Tattoo Johnnie. com)

I'm a qualified teacher in the UK.  I worked as a teaching assistant for a year, then did my teaching qualification, then took my first teaching post.  Early on in that post, I got together with my girlfriend.  I had long realised I was gay, but kept pushing it back down in my mind and pretended I was straight.  When I got together with my girlfriend, I was in a post where I felt wholy uncomfortable coming out.  I had authority problems with my pupils anyway, and felt that if I came out to staff, it would filter back to the pupils.  This was because I quickly found out that anything I told staff soon became student common knowledge. I know this is professionally unacceptable - anything I told my colleagues got back to the kids, so I ended up referring to my girlfriend as 'he'.

 I left that job and became a teaching assistant in a school for children with behavioural special needs. I'm not talking about ADHD pupils, but pupils with violent, bigotted, verbally abusive tendencies. I am called a 'fcuking cnut' on a daily basis, and much worse, I have been physically assaulted several times, and have been trained in restraining violent pupils.  The staff are more cohesive than my last job,yet I still feel unable to come out.  This is because, although I trust the staff more here, I know that one little slip will lead to me being the subject of severe verbal abuse, and more physical abuse than I already endure.  I know that every member of staff would either be supportive or at least polite in my presence, but I just can't take that risk.

 I know my situation is more extreme than mainstream schools, but I am applying to mainstream schools as a teacher again, and I still think I would hide it.  I would not feel comfortable being out amongst the staff until I knew I had big respect from the students, then I would be more confident that if my sexuality was let slip to students via the rumour mill, I would get support from them.

^^ Wow Geordie, that is a tough job you have there and I've gotta commend you for doing that because I know I don't think I could!

So I'm a student teacher in Ontario Canada (eh!) and in this province, we have publicly funded public and catholic schools. Yeah, I know it's kind of weird... but right now I'm in Catholic schools and have been told by a lot of people I must be crazy for teaching in a potentially bigoted environment. But, I did schooling on both systems and for me, the Catholic one fit better (not that the public schools are bad, it was just my personal experience). So after some soul searching and a tearful coming out to my mom as bi, I decided that I was going to do my student teaching in the catholic system. I'm not out because, well, being bi and single it's kind of a big hole of relationship nothingness so I don't have anybody to talk about anyway or any pronouns to change. So that is kind of the first thing that has to change before having to reveal myself. If I did end up in a long-term relationship with a woman, then I don't really think I'd hide it. There are laws so I couldn't be fired as a result. Most teachers are pretty progressive about this stuff, if misinformed about queer issues. Would kids be yanked from my classes? Well, I guess here is that potential. So I would have to make sure the administration were on my side and would support me before coming out more publicly. But basically, I'll have to wait and see.

i am a licensed teacher.. coming out depends on the situation.. i taught in a school where all parents seem so conservative, especially my boss (whom i admired for her wit and charm) and my co-teachers so i chose not to talk about personal matters since they would not believe me anyway and they would keep wondering why.

I only had the chance to talk about my sexual orientation when i was with younger group of teachers in an international school... since i had a girlfriend and i loved her so much, i couldn't help but talk about her whenever we had an informal conversation in school.

however, i would never tell my students about it regardless of their age. they can be as close as friend, mother, or sister to me but it's not a good idea to talk about private life no matter how important it is for me to be true to every person i meet.

if they try their best to figure out about my sexual preference, they must be concerned about me and i should thank them for that. if i get caught by my students, that's the time i'd tell the truth if they demand an explanation.. ouch!

* complex as it seems, life is simply amazing *

could i be your Annabelle?

hehe

I teach kids from about five, to about fifteen... in a small town in the middle of nowhere in a rather progressive country in Europe...

I have never cared about what people thought of me, in regards to my homosexuality, but I do care about how they perceive me in relation to their children...

For many parents, it is not acceptable to have a lesbian as a PE Teacher...

The Sword of Damocles hangs over me, and I have to think about things very carefully. On the one hand, by not being out as a general rule, I am perhaps harming the general movement to show that gay people are perfectly ordinary, fun,and harmless... but by coming out, I would risk my position, losing my job is not one of my worries, there are laws to protect me from that, but there are other ways of making my life horrible. Such as ensuring that I do not work with children, which is the only reason I teach, I love children, and know first hand what it is to have very, very bad teachers, so the combination of those things makes me want to be a good teacher, and guide and mentor to the young humans entrusted to my care.

I am torn, as I know the parents adore me, and the children I teach really like me, so is it enough that I would not be turned on if my sexuality became evident?

As for coworkers, well, I am old enough, and experienced enough, that they are of no concern to me. Same with bosses... I have been fired and beaten up and attacked in the USA for being gay, it made me very resilient...

I am disliked by my coworkers here because I could care less about the adult politics of my facility, and tend to ignore them as a general rule. I am there to help and teach and guide children, not mess around with stupid adult problems which simply take away from the children who already face a world where they are never getting enough of the right sort of guidance from adults anyway...

In the end, I think my wish is to protect the children, and I worry that somehow they could be tainted by perceptions of me, if their parents would overreact?

Anyway, I need to think some more, as several people in my work know about me, coworkers, a few students, and a couple of parents, so perhaps my defences are just too sensitive, and I am overreacting to possible possibilities.

I teach in the high school I attended myself.  I just finished my 5th year teaching there.  I am out.  The kids all know I have a myspace - which they scope out and note that I'm a lesbian.  I bring my partner to functions and events.  I'm lucky enough to teach in a county that provides domestic partner benefits. 

 If this topic interests you, there are two books featuring essays on it (I know b/c I'm printed in the 2nd one).  Both are titled One Teacher in Ten

Check out my band, Odd Girl Out: all-lesbian powerpop/rock.

www.OddGirlOut.net

www.myspace.com/OddGirlOutBand

I have been teacher pupils from 11 to 18 for 4 years now.

Here the system of State Schools is very complicated. I passed the "degree" to be a teacher but because I'm young (26, yes it IS young!), single and without kids (surprising, I know), I can't have a stable position. I have to replace teachers for one year or less and change schools all the time.

Because of that I'm not really out on my workplace... But I'm soooo lame at concealing the fact that I'm gay (I'm terrible with the "pronoun game") that I outed myself more than once. But believe it or not, because I'm not a standard lesbian (For an average French person, a lesbian looks like Josiane Balasko in French Twist... to sum it up: a butch) they don't even realised I'm actually talking about a woman!

But I kept in touch with my previous schools and most of them know now that I'm gay... Even if some of them didn't understand everything... "Why does she say "she"?"... I swear! Bless them!!

On the one hand I know it has nothing to do with my work so it's normal not to talk about it but on the other, I still feel like I'm lying and I hate it. I'm not ashamed of who I am and who I love ("would love" would be more accurate right now) and I remember when I was a kid and didn't know a single gay or lesbian adult ...

I'm looking forward for other answers to the thread to see what comes of it.

It's hard because when you're in a though suburb kids can be abusive (see GEORDIE comment) but then it's even worse when you're in a bourgeois area because parents can be a nightmare. A mother this year told me that she was relieved her son had me and not my colleague Mr O (who's gay as well, I know, it must be in the water or something) because he didn't like his manners (and she was not talikng about teaching habits when she mimicked him)... I defended him but was appalled anyway... What if I looked like Balasko after all?... Would it change my life at work?

A.

"If homosexuals are gay then lesbians must be extatic!" - Same Sex In The City

i teach 18-22 yr olds.

i teach teachers who are 28-38.

my closest colleagues are my age 45-60.

i'm out to everyone but the 18-22yr olds in my own classroom. if they come to my office they can get clues that i'm gay, otherwise, they might not know unless they have gaydar. i come out when it seems right, to the person it seems right to, generally because the subject matter in the course may turn the conversation that way. i'm not one to make my politics or identity the subject of my classroom, and i would not hire someone who does.

Never once was tempted to cross boundaries with a student -- students are students (thinking people) and teachers are teachers (professional educators.) there is no place for romance, flirting, sexual ambiguity, mixed messages. Not what students are paying gazillions of bucks for in the classroom. Nor do they want it. They happen to like their age group, most of the time.

i've kept friendships with many former students, straight and gay.

i don't deal with parents, ever. it's time for the kids to stand up on their own. won't even talk to parents -- let the deans and advisors deal with 'em.

I would suggest that if you are a parent of college student, trust him or her and do what you can to maintain an open communicative relationship. Don't pry, but be there when they call. And check in when they haven't called -- perhaps once a week might be even too much checking in. Please don't step in and solve their problems for them -- help them find the right questions to ask. Love and support (and money) is what they need from you.

I'm an untenured college teacher -- yes, that's right, ladies:: Girlie Girl's a prof -- and I'd say that Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick has theorized my workplace performance of sexuality, which I tend to flaunt like an open secret. What I mean is that I didn't talk much about it with my past colleagues or students -- I keep extracurricular friends for all that -- but I didn't hide it either. In Epistemology of the Closet, EKS writes about active ignorance and open secrets, and though her writing is a bit dense -- as in thick, not stupid -- I buy the idea that calling attention to norms through how we act, how we flirt, and how we play does as much for visibility as more forthright or -- forgive me -- straightforward types of activism.

So far, I think it's worked OK, which is to say people find me if and when they need me, but I'm not called on or singled out in negative ways. We'll see, though, if it works as well when I start my new gig this fall at U of Someplace South. Though I am forging ahead without hesitation, as per usual, I confess I'm not at all sure about this one. While the job itself is a step up, well, you know what they say::location, location, location.

gg

Without (too much) hesitation

i AM A MIDDLE SCHOOL TEACHER AND I AM OUT TO 2 PEOPLE AT MY SCHOOL.  i SLIGHTLY CAME OUT TO 2 OTHER PEOPLE BUT EITHER THEY IGNORED IT OR DIDN'T GET MY COMMENT OF WHY I WASN'T MARRIED YET (BECAUSE ITS NOT LEGAL).  BUT I WOULD LOVE TO COME OUT TO MY STUDENTS. THEY ARE NOT READY FOR THAT TYPE OF INFORMATION. AND I AM NOT READY FOR THEIR REACTIONS. I'D RATHER THEM WONDER.  I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH MY CO-WORKERS KNOWING BECAUSE THEY KNOW BETTER ON HOW TO TREAT ANOTHER PERSON WITH FEELINGS.  DISAGREE OR NOT.

I too, teach MS.

My first year I was at a very exclusive christian private school with a "morality" clause in the contract citing they could fire you at any point for any kind of conduct they considered inappropriate.  Since they fired an awesome teacher midyear for being mormon, I kept my queer mouth shut. very shut.  It was actually rather hard because it was such a small school that it was like family, and I hated keeping so much of myself away from my coworkers/friends.  Since I don't work there anymore I came out to the coworkers I am closest to, and to this day they are still friends.

I taught public school this past year and we had 3 lez, 4 gay guys, and prolly a few more teachers on staff; talk about bizarre (in the rural south nontheless).  Anyway, since everyone else was out, I as too, and I really wish I wasn't.  My coworkers were less than scrupulous in their conduct, and often it would implicate me as well since I am gay too.  It got really tiresome to have everyone in your business, and every time I went out (and still go out) I run into one of my very crazy gay coworkers at a club.  You can sense the theme of private life overrunning professional life here. It is a hard line to walk because the gay community is often so small, that you have a lot of overlap in a school with that many gay coworkers. Several of my coworkers dated one another and one couple got into a very prominent fist fight at a local club. Again, since we were all gay, the admin took the thought that we all must behave that way afterhours and it effected the way we were perceived.

I start this year at a independent non religious private school.  I think I will keep my gayness to myself until I am known enough by my coworkers as who I am, and not who they think I might be.

well i must say that most ppl in my school know about me..for a long time but lately i ve showned at a school party with my girl..my friends accepted it but teachers..well..one male teacher,was jealous..the others were suprised by my courage and i was dancing slow with her!!!!it was prety cool..i dont know though what is spoken behind my back but i surely enjoyed that night.. 

what you can't have

you can't resist

**copied from duplicate thread**

True happiness, we are told, consists in getting out of one's self, but the point is not only to get out, you must stay out; and to stay out you must have some absorbing errand. -Henry James