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Flirting with other people...

What do you guys feel about flirting whilst in a relationship? my girlfriend and I talked to it, I think after her admitting that she is a huge flirt lol! Anyways, we both said it was ok as long as it wasn't serious flirting and only for fun. Honestly, flirting is sooooo much fun! We're both secure enough in our relationship to be able to trust each other not to cheat or anything. Neither of us thinks flirting is cheating, unless its that kind of flirting where you're seriouly trying to get in their pants.

So what do you guys think? Is flirting cheating? Would you be ok with your girl/guy flirting with someone else? Do you think it matters differently for men than it does with women?


D0nna's picture

as long

as it doesn't go anywhere & you don't do it in front of each other, then i would say that it's fine.
Halliar's picture

If you agree

I don't see the problem. I don't think flirting is cheating but I guess it depends on the person. If one of you did see it as something annoying, then it would cause a problem but if you're both confident it won't go anywhere else, enjoy, cause it is fun. I wouldn't like my partner to do that, but that's just me. And to be honest, I don't see a difference in doing it with a man or with a woman. 

"Que quiero decir que toquetear a una mujer no es que sea malo...sobretodo si está viva!"

Thalia the muse's picture

It's sexy

Flirting is healthy. Is a way of reflecting your personal efforts or natural effect  to be beutiful and charming. When your g/f, partner, is flirting is like watching as a spectator what already happened to you. The fact  that I get to go home with her while the other one is left drewling and wondering "what if" is a powerfull aphrodisiac for me. Personally I prefer it when it happens in my presence. When I'm doing it I also look for the opportunity to secretely "wink" so we'll both know it's cool.
MiiSZ Fee-Fee BABiiE's picture

iT DEPENDZ

FLiRTiNG iS A NORMAL THiNG TO DO. iT JUST DEPENDS ON WHAT YOUR iNTENTiON iS WHEN FLIRTiNG. ARE YOU TRYiNG TO GET A NUMBER OR TLK 2 THAT PERSON ON SOME OTHER TiME OR ARE YOU JUST Complimenting THiS PERSON. i MEAN i DiD THE SAME THiNG WHEN i WAS iN MY LAST RELATiONSHiP. i FLiRTED JUST 4 FUN AND TO KEEP MY RELATiONSHiP STRONG. ME AND THAT FLiRT HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 2 AND A HALF MTHS.....SO BE CAREFUL...

MiiSZ FEE-FEE BABiiE WENT THAT WAY ===>

strict machine's picture

im a bit of a flirt

but i wouldnt do it in a way that would make my girlfriend jealous or with someone that i knew or thought liked me too much.

 

i would never flirt with the aim of taking it anywhere, im totally happy with who im with 

Lein's picture

I think it's healthy to

I think it's healthy to flirt with other people. Some girlfriends might not like it...but it seems like you both are cool with it.
My girlfriend is a big flirt, it's always been in her. I don't mind her flirting with other people...not even while I'm there. I like watching her flirt...it's kinda sexy. As long as she doesn't ignore me or deny being my girlfriend and of course goes home with me, I'm fine with it. I've actually become flirteous myself a little bit, while I wasn't at all before.

You should try flirting with the same person together with your girlfriend one time. It's fun to get someone as far as saying that they'd go home with you and your girl...As long as you're all on the same page though :)

I think that if you don't flirt with other people, you'll get too attached to each other too fast. Keep it fun, keep it crispy...people have needs. 

x

 

TheBotoxChicken's picture

Haha I think we're waaaay

Haha I think we're waaaay past the too attached stage!

Anyways, I don't know about us flirting with the same person at the same time...Orgies are DEFINITELY out of the question in our relationship...o_0"

Oh, and you gotta make sure the other person knows you're not being serious with the flirting. Someone could seriously think they have a shot and then you reject them and that could cause unneccessary drama and hurt...

MixtapeChick's picture

I Agree.

With the whole watching your girlfriend flirt is "kind of sexy" ...I think that's how I'd be.. [hint hint, Pollo]

And, if the person she was flirting with flirted back at her.. I'd be like, "Yee.. you want her.. but she's mine.. I have a wantable girlfriend" ha. Plus, since I'm a flirt too, I'd be able to step in and swoop my girlfriend away if I ever got iffy :P

I'd just stick on the clay moustache and make the exact face in my picture. Girlfriend=SWOON ...hee hee.. I kid, I kid..

_________________________________________________
My blog. Not much now, but I'm planning on making it much!

http://writtenremix.blogspot.com/

TheBotoxChicken's picture

So what are you doing

So what are you doing tonight? ^_^
MixtapeChick's picture

-grin-

Well, I was thinking about styling my sexy moustache and watching re-runs of Magnum P.I. ...but, I think I've found someone whom I'd much rather be my private investigator. Hee hee.

Oh man...

_________________________________________________
My blog. Not much now, but I'm planning on making it much!

http://writtenremix.blogspot.com/

Checkers's picture

I think when flirting

I think when flirting actually means something more than just a fun thing to do, and people can get hurt by it, it should be stopped.

Thalia the muse's picture

But you can make good friends out of it

The safety word on this game is "honesty". One can be flirty and sexy and smart and funny and always be honnest about the future of the "if should ever be relation" In this way you may get some really good friends. I know from personal experience. I got me a friend for life. 

If it is clumsy and tactless, you are right girl it can be very hurtfull!  

ice cream's picture

hihi

i agree, its always better to have a partner that is flirty with others, its fun, they can laugh about it together, and can have other couples as best friends to hang with all the time - and if there ever was a realtion they can make a big family

happy couples  are the couples who always flirt with others and are open in their relation, when they even  speak about their sexual relation with friends and make fun about it - when they smoke arguile and laugh together about females they teased the whole day or wanted to tease ---- thats the only way a relation can less forever --- from what i see

 

 

 

Thalia the muse wrote:

The safety word on this game is "honesty". One can be flirty and sexy and smart and funny and always be honnest about the future of the "if should ever be relation" In this way you may get some really good friends. I know from personal experience. I got me a friend for life. 

If it is clumsy and tactless, you are right girl it can be very hurtfull!  

NANI's picture

Is not so bad

I'm a person who flirt much and with so much girls. When i had a girlfriend did it as well,and I've never been unfaithful. The problem are the jealousy of our girls that see unfaithfulness where there only a play on words,looks or smiles.
ice cream's picture

hihi

i can never stop flirting with females,never - even if m in relation ship - my gf must udnerstand that flirting is in my personality - but i only flirt with friends, i dont go roaming around searching for a girl to tease, i justdo it with friends or with other couples where we both know its just a flirt or a joke

i do it whilst my gf is there or not, she must understand that she is my gf and i flirt with people just for fun -

i prefer if she is flirty as well so she can understadn me

but i can never ever stop myself from flirting with other girls, even boys sometimes lol its fun

Deborah's picture

I don't consider flirt

I don't consider flirt cheating. Sometimes it's a way of humor. I think as long as you don't have any intention to lead anyone on and always be respectful to your gf, the object you are flirting with, and yourself, it's fine.

But then I wouldn't deny that even if I knew that my hypothesisly existing gf loves me and wouldn't cheat on me at all, I would get jealous anyhow. >.<

Velvet's picture

Flirting can be hurtful to the person you're flirting with

I used to be very flirtatious. One time I was in a bar with my girlfriend and when she went to the bathroom, I started talking to a very pretty woman sitting by herself at the bar. We laughed and flirted for several minutes and then my g/f came back. I introduced my girlfriend to the other woman and said 'this is my lover.' Well, you should have seen the look of disappointment on this woman's face which gradually changed to an expression of disgust.

I felt ashamed of myself because it was all ego-based. I was thoroughly committed to my g/f yet had to prove to myself that I was desirable to other women. I never flirted like that again.

Weeks later, I was having dinner with a friend and two tables over was the woman I had flirted with. She was obviously on a date. I looked her way for a second but she never noticed me once. I had it coming.

Sure, it's fun to flirt but if you are in a relationship, sometimes the one you are flirting wiith may not think it's much fun when she finds out you're unavailable.

 

christina's picture

with all due respect, there

with all due respect, there is quite a difference between flirting and straight up hitting on someone. i only say this because your situation reminds me of a girl i used to know. of course i'm not judging you, at all i swear. i'm just commenting because i know sometimes some people may not see where that line is, and how easily it can be crossed. now, this woman that i speak of, hurt me deply plenty of times, so i pretty much resent that, but i'm sure you're quite different from her, because you clearly expressed that you felt commited to your gf. so yay for you, i like you much, much better than her. lol! it's true...

with that said, i think that when done tastefuly, flirting is o.k. when you're in a relationship, as long as both parties know what's going on. my gf and i were talking about this earlier. she flirts if it benefits her in the long run. lol! meaning at work, she's in law enforcement, so i get it. plus i trust her 100% and know her flirting is innocent. which is fine, because i'll flirt too if it will get me a sale at work. lol! i know it's not p.c., because i can't stand typical straight men half the time, but hey if it works, it works. oh and i do flirt with the occasional lesbian that strolls in my store, but again it is for my benefit. i'm 100% commited to my gf too, and i would never let he flirting leadt to more than that.

Velvet's picture

Yes, there is a fine line between flirting & hitting on someone

I agree with you, Christina, some people don't know the difference between the two. That's why I posted my little story above. You'll recall I said I was in a bar so it seemed easier to flirt than If I were flirting elsewhere. Afterwards, I didn't feel good about myself because the woman I flirted with thought I was available even though we only talked for about 10 minutes.

Individuals flirt differently. I know one woman who is so vivacious she's a natural flirt and people react in a feel-good way. She compliments a woman on her beautiful complexion, tells a fireman he's got a great physique, compliments a barista at Starbucks on how they make her morning cappuccino better than others, etc. People love it but never think she's hitting on them.

 

 

christina's picture

i see what you mean given

i see what you mean given the situation. anyway, i didn't mean to offend of course. you sound very different than that woman i used to know. you have feelings ;)

i've also met the type that you speak of, the ones that can do it shamelessly and no one takes it as more than a complimment, i guess it just depends.

Cassidy's picture

It depends

I guess I wouldn't mind if a girl I was dating was flirting with other people, but if it was a serious relationship, then it would bother me. I think it's kind of a respect thing. 

Plus.... I don't share well. At all. Like the air you're breathing, I want it back cause it's mine.  

Ash's picture

Barfs out air for you

Here you go.

Personally, to answer the thread, I find that flirting has all these lines that can and can't be crossed, and depends on the openness of the relationship via communication or otherwise. I don't think complimenting someone would count as flirting, but when it gets to be a bit too enjoyable for both parties flirting it's kinda out of hand. 

But I agree with you Cassidy, I'd be jealous if my girlfriend is paying more attention to someone else in such a manner. Possessive, much?

 

Cassidy's picture

agree

Thank you for returning my air.

I think there is a very fine line with flirting that can possibly be ok like when I flirt with my friends;  it's completely a joke. We're just messing around.

Hitting on someone is not cool

I'm possessive too. woo! haha 

TheBotoxChicken's picture

LMAO

NewMoonRising wrote:

Plus.... I don't share well. At all. Like the air you're breathing, I want it back cause it's mine.  

Ok seriously when I read that I cracked up! The way you worded it made it SOOOO freaking hilarious! I'm sorry, I just had to point that out! Plus when Ash barfed the air back out for you...OMFG...-tear-

You guys are funny that's all I have to say...

So on a more serious side! Woud you guys say once flirting has crossed one of those many lines, you are actually hitting on someone, not just playful flirting?

Cassidy's picture

^_^

I'm glad I could make ya laugh. 

Yes, I think it does. That's why I keep my women locked up. Just in case. 

Sigrid's picture

LOL that's

NewMoonRising wrote:

 That's why I keep my women locked up. Just in case. 

what they call better safe than sorry? 

that was funny 

 

Cassidy's picture

well

It's not like you can trust them =P