I am muslim, married with kids but i like girls. If i mention this to anyone in my community basically i will be dead, i was just wondering are there any closet or out muslims out there.
But how could they possibly take away children from a mother (because of homosexulatity, it's not unlawfully) ? I mean, the law would be on your side , woudn't it? I see your problem - you have to choose between your traditions and your family bond or your sexuality.
But how do you live now? Do you meet women without anybody noticing and how do you picture your future life? As I see, there's no way to combinate islamic traditions (or should I speak of your family's traditions) and your homosexuality ...
Please excuse my english and if the questions are too intimade (but just tell me to shut up if so ;)
I don't personally know meena, but I do know a little about law, islam, and homosexuality. Yeah, under shari'a law, she could lose the kids, and her life. The case wouldn't make it to the crown court unless she had the boatloads of money required to take it to civil court. The Crown wouldn't step in to defend her or protect her until after she had been wronged under the law of the crown. Most muslims would see lesbianism as breaking the law of allah, not the law of man. Man is corrupt, so man's law is corrupt. Besides, the non-muslim is generally considered an infidel, anyway, ESPECIALLY if a homosexual, therefore, the court of allah would be where the aggrieved family members and the clerics would have her "dealt with." It's meena's "brand" of islam and her immediate community that would decide whether she can keep her kids or her life. In addition, she'd be likely charged with a number of offenses, not the least of which would be dishonoring her father, her brothers, and her husband. Additionally, her father's family could be held accountable to her husband's family.
THE ONLY REASON I CAN FIND THAT HOMOSEXUALITY BREAKS THE LAW OF ALLAH IS THE INTENTION WITH WHICH ALLAH CREATED A PAIR - MAN AND WOMEN - REPRODUCTION TO CONTINUE LIFE AND MANKIND. WHAT ABOUT THOSE COUPLES WHO MARRY AND DO NOT WANT TO HAVE KIDS - WHY IS THAT NOT BREAKING THE LAW OF ALLAH. IS THAT MARRIAGE NOT PURELY FOR PLEASURE SO I DO NOT SEE WHY A WOMAN CANNOT BE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN AND LIVE AS A PAIR AND NOT BE CONDEMNED. THESE WOMEN MAKE BETTER MUSLIMS THAN SOME OF THE PAIRS INTENDED TO BE TOGETHER - LESBIAN WOMEN ALSO FOLLOW THE FIVE PILLARS OF ISLAM. I JUST CANNOT HELP TO THINK LIKE ALL OTHER REVELATIONS OF GOD IN ANY RELIGION - THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION HAS BEEN DISTORTED WITH TIME. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT ALLAH PREFERS THE REPRODUCING OF HUMAN LIFE OVER LOVE. IN THIS DAY AND TIME WE HAVE MILLIONS OF HOMELESS BABIES AND ITS LIKE AN EPIDEMIC - WHICH PART OF THAT WHOLE TRANSLATION PROVIDES A PLAN FOR THE POVERTY AND HOMELESS WHICH JUST LEADS TO POOR LIVING CONDITIONS AND SUFFERING. THE TIME AND CONDITIONS OF WHEN THE QURAN WAS ACTUALLY REVEALED WAS SO DIFFERENT TO WHAT WE FACE TODAY.
I READ YOUR STUFF ABOUT MUSLIM LESBIAN WOMEN - MOST MUSLIM WOMEN JUST GET MARRIED BECAUSE THEY WANT TO LOOK NORMAL OR USUALLY ITS ARRANGED MARRIAGES - IT IS THE NORM TO HAVE A HUSBAND AND KIDS SO THEY FIT IN. BUT THEN THEY FIND THEY ARE MISERABLE AND SO LONELY IN WAYS THEY CANNOT TELL ANYONE OR EVEN FIND ANYONE TO SUPPORT THEM TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. THEY JUST LIVE DEPRESSED AND UNHAPPY LIVES. SOME HAVE RELATIONSHIPS WITH WOMEN AND THE HUSBAND NEVER KNOWS. APPARENTLY IT IS A SIN AND PUNISHABLE TO THE EXTENT OF DEATH. THE ONLY REASON I COULD FIND FOR THIS WAS THAT GOD'S INTENTION WAS FOR WOMEN TO BE WITH A MAN SO THAT THE WOMEN COULD GIVE BIRTH AND MANKIND WOULD LIVE ON. LESBIANS AND GAYS CANNOT REPRODUCE CHILDREN TO CARRY ON LIFE. IT ALSO SAYS THE WHOLE INTENTION OF HAVING SEXUAL CONTACT IS REPRODUCING NOT JUST FOR PLEASURE AND THAT LESBIANS AND GAYS SIMPLY HAVE SEXUAL CONTACT FOR PLEASURE. THIS IS SOMETHING I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. THIS MAKES WOMEN OBJECTS OF REPRODUCTION - NO CONSIDERATION OF THEIR FEELINGS AND LIFE. WHY DID GOD NOT MAKE MAN THE OBJECT OF REPRODUCTION INSTEAD OF THEM GETTING THE PLEASURE AND WOMEN THE PAIN.
There are some really good links for dating and networking and some good online magazines & other publications for gay and lesbian muslims. (Granted, most of them are for men....) Most of the ones I know about and frequently use are in English and Arabic, and require an invitation or screening process, due to those religious and cultural consequences of being "discovered." Several of the sites and groups also offer lots of culturally and scripturally based discussion regarding homosexuality and the qur'An. Send me a private message, if you like, and I can point you in some safe directions. Salaam.
I having lived all my life in an arabian muslim country should know how oppressive, judgemental and simply uptight muslims can be when it comes to homosexuality..
since you're in the uk you might try to check out the safra project. it's an organization to empower muslim lesbian, bisexual or transgende women.. they do regular meet ups and you'll find alot of women from similiar backgrounds who you can freely talk to :)
hope this helps..http://www.safraproject.org/
"we are each of us angels with one wing..and we can only fly by embracing each other.."
hi , im muslim and being lesbian is the the most scary nightmare to have ever ! and i would never tell an one about that coz i dont wanna die so young !
it must be really tough... but somehow im glad to know there are women like you out there.. keeping your strength... recognizing your desires amid the fear and the peril... hang on there... virtually and beyond, there are a lot of women willing to support you (as those mentioned projects and organizations for muslim women)... i must say, i've had crushes with a lot of muslim girls i see in the streets (in the Philippines I mean- and I'm a non-practing Catholic) but ofcourse... all i could do is stare and render a smile ;)
I just finished reading a book by Ayaan Hirsi Ali called The Caged Virgin: An Emancipation Proclamation for Women and Islam. It should be recommended reading for many reasons, but it is relevant here because it contains an interview with Irshad Manji, who is an openly lesbian Muslim and an activist for women's rights within Islam via reform of Islam itself. She has written two books herself, called The Trouble With Islam Today and Risking Utopia. Both are available from Amazon, and likely from other major booksellers as well. If you are able to get out of your house for a few hours, perhaps you could find some way to read them. I think they would be a great source of comfort to you. Be at peace, ladies. You are not alone.
"Better than a thousand useless words is one word that brings us peace."
Im somali like ayan hersi there, and i have alot of problems with her. I am also muslim and not so straight, but regardless..my PERSONAL (not to try and say every other muslim should have this opionion) is that these books are more bad than good. i would never bash my religion and i do practice it and i am muslim. I think for muslims who have conflict with their beliefs and their orientation..reading such books would make it worse since they have faith in their religion and these books are very blasphemous--and offensive. it can make the conflicted feelings inside worse...if any muslims here gets what im saying...then you know what i mean.
thanx...and hold ur heads up sisters!!! and i hope the best for u mina.safra project would be a good start.
I think you are, by far, not the only muslim who feels that way and that is exactly the problem Ayaan Hirsi Ali has with islamic religion. And neither is she, by far, alone in that! ( but that's a whole other discussion:))
"!call me old fashioned but I prefer feminism that leaves a little something to the imagination!"
This probably only relates to those of you in the US, but did anyone catch the "Faith Without Fear" premiere on PBS last night? If so, what were your thoughts?
.. and totally in the closet.. which is so tough and scary at the same time coz it's hard to understand my feelings and such when i have no one to talk to.
my friends will freak out if they find out and family too..
this website is like my little safe haven.. thanks so much for the links.. the safraproject one was really interesting and an eye opener too.. i will definitely check out those books..
..Im in the UK. I'm 22 and ive never been out with a guy. I always told myself that i shouldn't coz of my beliefs and religion and because i always wanted my parents, mum to be proud of her little innocent girl. I am innocent, and weak at heart. Ive fancied one or two guys at my college but i was too scared so i pushed them away anytime i thought we were getting close. I still think if only i gave them a chance then i wouldn't be in this situation..
My best friend is a girl, been friends for 7 years. Since college. When i first met her she was a silly girly girl but then i found alot in common with her. She and i were very similar in appearance, skinny as sticks, very fussy and very down to earth but ive always been the quiet one. Because of our similarities we've stuck together.
Recently, actually for a long time ive been feeling attraction towards her, the way she holds me, hugs me, i feel so good and uplifted when im around her. I forget all the boundaries and just wish to be with her all the time. My feelings are getting deeper and i'm scared, i don't think it's right but i can't help it. I sometimes try to ignore her, not talk to her but always i come back to linking her and everything seems normal again. I don't know if she feels anything for me. She has a boyfriend, been with him for 6 months. I get a little jealous coz i endup doing so much for her but it never feels that she really appreciates it or understands it. We had arguments and had fights over our friendship, usually me having problems. Im so confused now that im actually planning to break our friendship so that i can get away from her and maybe i won't have these feelings. I cry to myself at times for loving her so much.
My main worry is my religion. If it weren't for my religion, i think i would have felt less guilty and more natural. I still ahve feelings for her. I wish for it to go away, i want to find someone but im not good at that, i always siad to myself Allah (swt) will send someone for me. Im so depressed, ive messed up 2 years of my Law Degree, giving it another shot, last chance to pick up. I know most of my depression is to do with my feelings for her, i feel like an alien. I need help, i feel so alone. Alone.
I'm not a muslim but I had to say that this is really one of the most distressing things I've ever heard, not to mention that is is incredibly unfair. I don't see why a person should be denied the right to live and love as they choose. I'm not out of the closet yet for various reasons but I do know that when I do come out, granted that it won't be a bed of roses, at least I won't have to fear something as extreme as death.(being ostracized may be the worst I get). I can't imagine having to suppress my feelings for women indefinitely, but as I read above, the consequences of a muslim admitting his/her homosexuality are enough to push anyone back into the closet and then barricade themselves in. It all seems so hopeless. I hope this makes everyone else out there appreciate their freedom to live and love in the way that they choose to. my own issues with coming out seem so trivial in comparison. I wish all of you brave women the best and I hope that you find your happiness amidst the bleakness.
If you go to this site ( http://www.mideastpiece.com/cnn-reports-on-gay-life-in-the-middle-east/). You can see a short video on gay life in the middle east.
I dont think I'd be killed if my parents knew..but I'll most probably be robbed of all my privileges and won't be allowed to bring any girl into my room..(come to think of it, that is like murder! ;)
but it is pretty hopeless i have to admit.. I am seriously considering finding a gay guy and getting married so we both can live life the way we want to..it's either that or elope..but i don't want to break my parents hearts..
"we are each of us angels with one wing..and we can only fly by embracing each other.."
I'm muslim, middle eastern; living in the middle-east nd out, all my friends know i'm gay ^ ^ it's really awesome cause they are cool about it...but it's true, living in a muslim community is hard, in my family the topic homosexuality is a taboo, we would never bring it up.
i have to admit that homosexuality in islam is a taboo and that other members in my family are gay as well, we never talk about it openly and we all know that at the end of the day no one asks for things to be hard.. i always believe that allah is the most forgiving and that no one has a right to judge us muslims and tell us how to live none other than allah. i hope there is someone out there whom i can befriend and help me as i am a closet muslim lesbian myself. i have lost my gf of a year and a half becos of my conflicted values of islam. i am very confused and i hope you can help me..
Yeah I'm Muslim too & still in the closet but I don't think that I didn't come out because I'm Muslim or any thing, simply because my family & specially my mom I don't wana heart her & i believe it is no ones business to know who I love or who I'm sleeping with plus I don't have to share it with any one ,,it enough for me to know the one who I love is loving me back , no need to share that with any one else ifthat would heart any one ,
I think almost in every society they consider the gayness as un normal thing & in every religion in this world the homosexuality is a sin, so being Muslim isn't more different than being Christian or Jewish or Buddhist…ect , in the end it returns to us how we manage our happiness , first of all I think accepting who ur is the most important thing ,then we can find some way to find what we are looking for & be with who we want I think it easy to be with ur girlfriend in Muslims society without any suspect who she really is ;) ,so you wouldn't heart ur family and you will life ur live too though it is not going to be complete but at least it is win win situation ,, for a while until our society change and I believe it is matter of time only but you don't need to wait until that happen take what ever you get ,,and thank god for all these brave ppl who came out and change the world & make it possible for every one to feel that we are not alone & this technology that make the distance disappear ,,
maybe before 20 years ago it wasn't easy to figure out who u really are, since I was 12 years I know that I'm into girl & not thinking like my other friend lol , I was really confused ,I was never interested in guys ,I don't even remember any guy that I give him a second look , but still I was denying all that because I was thinking that it is only me who may have feeling to same sex , now I'm happy that I'm not alone any more in this world J & sorry for my poor English , good luck to every one
even though all religions classify homosexuality as a sin, there is a notable movement to change that ..but because of the nature of not Islam but our obsolete traditions we suffer more than others or at least some of us do..
parents are more aware of lesbianism where i live because suddenly it's a trend! most of the girls pass time with their girlfriends because (a-they're more accessible and b- less chance of being discovered) until it's time to get married and then they become straight again! even though i don't appreciate this it's funny to see how officials are dealing with it :D whenever they have a new hangout they close it down so the girls find another so in some way it's nice to see how they never give up :) but it is troublesome as well because for e.g. my parents may suspect that being a lesbian is why i don't wanna marry anytime soon, or why am i rejecting all proposals coming my way..and god forbid that ever happens..
but I have to disagree..living half a life and loving each other from a far is plain torture to me..knowing that i will never have a chance to wake up to see her face..or have our own house one day..for god's sake just to be able to sleep with her without the fear of getting busted..I really wish it could be different..
"we are each of us angels with one wing..and we can only fly by embracing each other.."
i understand how u feel.u're lucky u've found someone.i think more or less we have the same type of society,may i know where r u from?next year my sister will get marry.when that time comes,i'm sure my parents would tell me 2 hurry find a good guy n get marry.i really dont want to dissapoint them,but it's that easy.oh my god,being a girl at this age can be though,n it's not gonna get easier.
As you said (the nature of our obsolete traditions) is the main reason of our suffer , And I wouldn't agree more about how it's painful to live half life with whom you love.
Since I was a little girl I was looking to live my life without any regret, because simply we are living in this world once so at least live it with your own decisions & without hearting any one ( just doing my best to do that though maybe one day i may not be able to do it L) , I don't want to wonder one day & say what if,
So for me living half life better than not living it at all,,as I said before I would take what ever I can get ,that is much better than not trying it, who wouldn't like to wake up and see that special one's face , even the fears of being busted might not hold me back one day, incase I was busted that's ok , any way I didn’t go voluntarily to them & come out lol
But i still wish if it was much different and easier.
hey people, im a muslim from the uk, and im not out to anyone, cuz if my family find out, i would more than likely be dead, or if im lucky, i would be alive, but probably have no contact with the outside world. plus, coming from a pakistani family, that does not help the least bit, it actually makes it worse!!! homosexuality is not spoken about, but ive tried to be abit brave and ive dropped a few hints to close cousins and they probably can catch on, its not that hard to tell, but no ones confronted me as of yet.i want everyone to know, but im scared of the consequences, so theres not much i can do!!!
Oh ,lune,, After 20 years, wow that's will going to be too late for me ,because simply I'll be too old at that time ,,lol,, i was dreaming to happen before that for sure, so let see how it will end up & k8fan it is a brave step , I mean to give some hints & your not little brave your a brave girl,,your trying to move forward with all your fears,,
I am not a muslim but I have lived in Cairo for like a year. I can only guess how hard it must be for lesbians there. Because I already had so much more freedom than my female friends from university. I got to know one gay guy there and he told me that even for gay men it is difficult to meet (not to speak of living openly). Unfortunately I did not meet any lesbian, but no wonder, even I dared reveal my sexual orientation to only two Egyptians.
I found that there is going to be a Gay Arab Activist conference (launched by a Palestinian lesbian group!)
"A rare gathering of openly gay Arab activists is slated to be held in Israel this month, drawing the ire of religious conservatives. Headlined "Home and Exile," the March 28 meeting is meant to spark discussion of homosexuality among Israel's 1 million Arab citizens, said Roula Deeb, a prominent Arab feminist and one of the scheduled speakers.
The conference is being organized by Aswat, an Arab lesbian group based in Haifa, a coastal city home to both Jews and Arabs.
Around 100 to 150 people are expected to show up, Deeb said. With homosexuality a taboo topic in much of the Arab world, the meeting is important simply because it is taking place....." read more on: http://www.advocate.com/news_detail_ektid42850.asp
Meh come from Trinidad...lived 19 years in da US...Meh Fam & friends would totally freak if they knew meh had been with a gyul...Always been into gyuls since meh was young but being Muslim U can't really express that without being yelled at or worse...So meh learned 2keep those feelings 2myself...Just got use to telling people that meh was straight just really friendly & loving cuz meh from da islands that's just how we are..Dated guys just to prove to meh parents, friends, and even meh that meh was straight..Finally admitted to myself when meh was 22 That meh liked women...Now it's 5 years later and meh have dated both women & men..but rather be with a woman than a man anyday..Still in a closet only like 5 people know about meh...Hate living like this cuz it feels like meh can't really express who meh am...It makes meh sick BUT meh would rather this kinda life than lose or bring shame 2 meh fam..Meh Gwan~RYE~Da TRINI w/da SMILE
im a muslim too. n im not really sure what's my sexual orientation.well, to be honest,i dont wanna be gay (which i might).homosexuality is not an option. i live in one of the largest muslim population country.till now,i still prefer being straight n hope that the urge will go away someday.as long as i haven't meet the "it" girl,i think im okay.i'm not happy with this condition,but at the time,that's what i can do.i'm not prepared to face the risk of comin out,and i think i'll never be ready.
Its you who made me like this and they you barred me loving a girl.It would have been so easy to love a man,have kids,family friends and a normal social life.Who loves to sit alone and isloated from the rest of world.
Homosexuality is so natural,I was never give a choice,even I got married but it did not help.How long one can enjoy mechnical act every night.
So it its in my DNA,why why its banned by GOD.And these hetrosexual who are approved by society,go to bar,drink and f**k number of girls and society label them as rich and handsome who can attract lots of girls.What about adultery,is it OK in Christinaty and Islam?
Here we are talking about simple love and care and not lust.What if I love a woman without any reason .Well we do not calculate love on the basis of gender,money,social status ,its simple and pure wish to be with someone who can understand us.It can be woman.ahhhhh
World is sooo hard if you are marganilized like,Muslim,girl,gay and independent and somewhat smart.
Unfortunately, all freedoms gained by gay and lesbians in recent years have been on the back of those that went before who struggled against conformaty, outrage and open hostility to their chosen lifestyles.
It is easy for some now not to acknowlegde that struggle and the fact that it still continues. The bravery of people living their lives in extremity under fear and without hope is an amazing thing. Just this forum makes you realise that you are not the only one struggling and debate will harbour solidarity. It is only by the coming together of those that are struggling that you can hope to change the hearts and minds of those who do not understand. It was only in this way that it became less oppressive for gay and lesbian people in other communities.
I live in Bosnia and Bosnia is really a Muslim country, but I know alot of gay people here, and thay are Ok with it, some of them are out, some of them not, but as far as I know here that's not a sin or anything like that, I mean if I was gay I think my pearents would support me.....but then I have a friend and they pearents don't support her, so it's diffrent for everyone I gues......and I mean drugs and alcohol are like sinn for every religion and still a lot of people use them, and it's totally ok for everyone!!!!! not me =) =) =)
My gf is muslim. Ive asked her to tell her family about us, but she says they can never know. We can live together (as friends) and they can assume what they want, but she will never actually tell them. She´s not very religious, but her parents´are. Anyway, at least we get to be together:)
It must be tough for you also, i dont know you but i guess you want everybody to know that she's your gal, if you want advice, dont pressure her, muslim parents tend to be strict on their beliefs.
Hey Chicky Gyul What Gwan? Glad to hear you not pushing your GF into coming out...Meh Muslim like your gyul and it's da same things with meh fam...Jess, meh Ex, meh was her first GF (B4 meh she was straight)...Meh & Jess were going strong for about 8 months..Then she started talking about us coming out to fams & Friends...Meh just couldn't do it...in da end meh just broke it off cuz it wasn't fair to her thinking meh was ashamed of her or us...It been 2 years we still close as ever she's in love with this great guy..To be honest Meh not really a relationship type of gyul...So in da end it kinda worked out for da best...Good luck to U and your gyul...Meh wish allya nothing but Joy...For real if Allya need someone to talk to holla at meh or Meena..She great with da advice...Much Love ~RYE~Da TRINI w/da SMILE
i really can relate to what you mean.. and i hope we can be friends, i am very happy to have found this website and hope to be friends. :) i just lost a wonderful gf of mine, and am having a hard time as whether my values should be blamed or it was just me?
Thanks guys. We´ve been together for 6 years, so im kind of getting used to it:) Im just happy we can be together, and would never pressure her to tell her parents.... I know she would never tell them anyway:p
the biggest closest in the middle east is the MALE FEMALE taboo.
males openly sort of hold hands kiss, have sex, and date a lot.
the girls are coming out more in the form of boyahs ...that is tomboy
the arabic word for tomboy is BOYAH...
they wear boys clothes, cut their hair and date hot girls ...these kids are about 18 and up.!! some younger are coming out...but the numbers as in the west are lower.
most people come to terms with the homosexuality later..after they figure out it isn´t
just some FEVER they have aquired. And the everytime a member of the same sex walks by that they are attracted to...of course, they chemical factor, well, when their loins burn up enuff and they try it and see shows on satelite like L Word, which does play in the Middle East, they are confirmed that they are NORMAL.
And yes Gay.
i have lived here 5 years going on one million and am deeply immeresed in the culture and living out all its taboos lol.
there is a lot of resentment even from gay arab men that gay arab women are coming out. It rocks their world. As we women tend to do.
Just waiting for HILARY CLIT-TON to come out and rule the world. lolçç
Hello! Well, I can't add
Hello!
Well, I can't add anything progressiv, because I'm not muslim and me being homosexual is not a problem ... but I may ask you a few questions?
Where do you live and do you know somebody in your family who is treated as an "outcast" ?
hello there, i live in
hello there, i live in england. u see if you do anything that is out of the norm in islam, you are treated unfairly and badly
When i bring the subject of homosexuallity in my, their opinions is of one of disgust and evil, so i keep my mouth shut and not go any further.
Those who have came out have lost their kids, disowned by family, so its a tough life for a muslim.
Oh, I see ... But how could
Oh, I see ...
But how could they possibly take away children from a mother (because of homosexulatity, it's not unlawfully) ? I mean, the law would be on your side , woudn't it? I see your problem - you have to choose between your traditions and your family bond or your sexuality.
But how do you live now? Do you meet women without anybody noticing and how do you picture your future life? As I see, there's no way to combinate islamic traditions (or should I speak of your family's traditions) and your homosexuality ...
Please excuse my english and if the questions are too intimade (but just tell me to shut up if so ;)
I don't personally know
ISLAMIC LAW
THE ONLY REASON I CAN FIND THAT HOMOSEXUALITY BREAKS THE LAW OF ALLAH IS THE INTENTION WITH WHICH ALLAH CREATED A PAIR - MAN AND WOMEN - REPRODUCTION TO CONTINUE LIFE AND MANKIND. WHAT ABOUT THOSE COUPLES WHO MARRY AND DO NOT WANT TO HAVE KIDS - WHY IS THAT NOT BREAKING THE LAW OF ALLAH. IS THAT MARRIAGE NOT PURELY FOR PLEASURE SO I DO NOT SEE WHY A WOMAN CANNOT BE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN AND LIVE AS A PAIR AND NOT BE CONDEMNED. THESE WOMEN MAKE BETTER MUSLIMS THAN SOME OF THE PAIRS INTENDED TO BE TOGETHER - LESBIAN WOMEN ALSO FOLLOW THE FIVE PILLARS OF ISLAM. I JUST CANNOT HELP TO THINK LIKE ALL OTHER REVELATIONS OF GOD IN ANY RELIGION - THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION HAS BEEN DISTORTED WITH TIME. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT ALLAH PREFERS THE REPRODUCING OF HUMAN LIFE OVER LOVE. IN THIS DAY AND TIME WE HAVE MILLIONS OF HOMELESS BABIES AND ITS LIKE AN EPIDEMIC - WHICH PART OF THAT WHOLE TRANSLATION PROVIDES A PLAN FOR THE POVERTY AND HOMELESS WHICH JUST LEADS TO POOR LIVING CONDITIONS AND SUFFERING. THE TIME AND CONDITIONS OF WHEN THE QURAN WAS ACTUALLY REVEALED WAS SO DIFFERENT TO WHAT WE FACE TODAY.
I LOVE A WOMAN
hey
french muslim lesbians
in france there are looots of muslim lesbians !!!
Comme disait Jeanne D'Arc : " tu verras de quel bois je me chauffe " ;)
G&L muslims
you're not alone..
I having lived all my life in an arabian muslim country should know how oppressive, judgemental and simply uptight muslims can be when it comes to homosexuality..
since you're in the uk you might try to check out the safra project. it's an organization to empower muslim lesbian, bisexual or transgende women.. they do regular meet ups and you'll find alot of women from similiar backgrounds who you can freely talk to :)
hope this helps..http://www.safraproject.org/
"we are each of us angels with one wing..and we can only fly by embracing each other.."
im one
hi , im muslim and being lesbian is the the most scary nightmare to have ever ! and i would never tell an one about that coz i dont wanna die so young !
so tough
i'm gay
hello, you can say i'm muslim..
and i'm gay...
not something you talk about with your peers..
it's been tough..
i sympathize
Irshad Manji
I just finished reading a book by Ayaan Hirsi Ali called The Caged Virgin: An Emancipation Proclamation for Women and Islam. It should be recommended reading for many reasons, but it is relevant here because it contains an interview with Irshad Manji, who is an openly lesbian Muslim and an activist for women's rights within Islam via reform of Islam itself. She has written two books herself, called The Trouble With Islam Today and Risking Utopia. Both are available from Amazon, and likely from other major booksellers as well. If you are able to get out of your house for a few hours, perhaps you could find some way to read them. I think they would be a great source of comfort to you. Be at peace, ladies. You are not alone.
"Better than a thousand useless words is one word that brings us peace."
--The Dhammapada
My two cents
Im somali like ayan hersi there, and i have alot of problems with her. I am also muslim and not so straight, but regardless..my PERSONAL (not to try and say every other muslim should have this opionion) is that these books are more bad than good. i would never bash my religion and i do practice it and i am muslim. I think for muslims who have conflict with their beliefs and their orientation..reading such books would make it worse since they have faith in their religion and these books are very blasphemous--and offensive. it can make the conflicted feelings inside worse...if any muslims here gets what im saying...then you know what i mean.
thanx...and hold ur heads up sisters!!! and i hope the best for u mina.safra project would be a good start.
I think you are, by far, not
I think you are, by far, not the only muslim who feels that way and that is exactly the problem Ayaan Hirsi Ali has with islamic religion. And neither is she, by far, alone in that! ( but that's a whole other discussion:))
"!call me old fashioned but I prefer feminism that leaves a little something to the imagination!"
Irshad Manji postscript
Free translations of Irshad Manji's book in Arabic, Urdu, or Persian: http://www.muslim-refusenik.com
Upcoming documentary: Faith Without Fear, part of series "America at a Crossroads"
Airs: PBS, April 19, 2007
Thankyou for the support, i
Thankyou for the support, i will check up on the books.
Faith Without Fear
This probably only relates to those of you in the US, but did anyone catch the "Faith Without Fear" premiere on PBS last night? If so, what were your thoughts?
If you don't have access to PBS, you can find out more at http://www.pbs.org/weta/crossroads/about/show_faith_without_fear.html. There are clips and a general PBS message board and a world map showing video diaries in response to the series.
"Better than a thousand useless words is one word that brings us peace."
--The Dhammapada
i'm a muslim..
.. and totally in the closet.. which is so tough and scary at the same time coz it's hard to understand my feelings and such when i have no one to talk to.
my friends will freak out if they find out and family too..
this website is like my little safe haven.. thanks so much for the links.. the safraproject one was really interesting and an eye opener too.. i will definitely check out those books..
Hey, im a Muslim and i'm confused
..Im in the UK. I'm 22 and ive never been out with a guy. I always told myself that i shouldn't coz of my beliefs and religion and because i always wanted my parents, mum to be proud of her little innocent girl. I am innocent, and weak at heart. Ive fancied one or two guys at my college but i was too scared so i pushed them away anytime i thought we were getting close. I still think if only i gave them a chance then i wouldn't be in this situation..
My best friend is a girl, been friends for 7 years. Since college. When i first met her she was a silly girly girl but then i found alot in common with her. She and i were very similar in appearance, skinny as sticks, very fussy and very down to earth but ive always been the quiet one. Because of our similarities we've stuck together.
Recently, actually for a long time ive been feeling attraction towards her, the way she holds me, hugs me, i feel so good and uplifted when im around her. I forget all the boundaries and just wish to be with her all the time. My feelings are getting deeper and i'm scared, i don't think it's right but i can't help it. I sometimes try to ignore her, not talk to her but always i come back to linking her and everything seems normal again. I don't know if she feels anything for me. She has a boyfriend, been with him for 6 months. I get a little jealous coz i endup doing so much for her but it never feels that she really appreciates it or understands it. We had arguments and had fights over our friendship, usually me having problems. Im so confused now that im actually planning to break our friendship so that i can get away from her and maybe i won't have these feelings. I cry to myself at times for loving her so much.
My main worry is my religion. If it weren't for my religion, i think i would have felt less guilty and more natural. I still ahve feelings for her. I wish for it to go away, i want to find someone but im not good at that, i always siad to myself Allah (swt) will send someone for me. Im so depressed, ive messed up 2 years of my Law Degree, giving it another shot, last chance to pick up. I know most of my depression is to do with my feelings for her, i feel like an alien. I need help, i feel so alone. Alone.
You can't continue living this way, can you?
CNN did a report on this very subject
not to that extent i guess..
I dont think I'd be killed if my parents knew..but I'll most probably be robbed of all my privileges and won't be allowed to bring any girl into my room..(come to think of it, that is like murder! ;)
but it is pretty hopeless i have to admit.. I am seriously considering finding a gay guy and getting married so we both can live life the way we want to..it's either that or elope..but i don't want to break my parents hearts..
"we are each of us angels with one wing..and we can only fly by embracing each other.."
Should of thought of that,
not easy to find one as it seems :)
it's tough I know..but please don't regret the choices you made in the past..I really hope that the situation resolves somehow..
"we are each of us angels with one wing..and we can only fly by embracing each other.."
2 great things came out of
2 great things came out of my marriage, my kids, so no regrets.
I'm muslim
I'm muslim, middle eastern; living in the middle-east nd out, all my friends know i'm gay ^ ^ it's really awesome cause they are cool about it...but it's true, living in a muslim community is hard, in my family the topic homosexuality is a taboo, we would never bring it up.
being a muslim
I'm Muslim too :)
Yeah I'm Muslim too & still in the closet but I don't think that I didn't come out because I'm Muslim or any thing, simply because my family & specially my mom I don't wana heart her & i believe it is no ones business to know who I love or who I'm sleeping with plus I don't have to share it with any one ,,it enough for me to know the one who I love is loving me back , no need to share that with any one else if that would heart any one ,
I think almost in every society they consider the gayness as un normal thing & in every religion in this world the homosexuality is a sin, so being Muslim isn't more different than being Christian or Jewish or Buddhist…ect , in the end it returns to us how we manage our happiness , first of all I think accepting who ur is the most important thing ,then we can find some way to find what we are looking for & be with who we want I think it easy to be with ur girlfriend in Muslims society without any suspect who she really is ;) ,so you wouldn't heart ur family and you will life ur live too though it is not going to be complete but at least it is win win situation ,, for a while until our society change and I believe it is matter of time only but you don't need to wait until that happen take what ever you get ,,and thank god for all these brave ppl who came out and change the world & make it possible for every one to feel that we are not alone & this technology that make the distance disappear ,,
maybe before 20 years ago it wasn't easy to figure out who u really are, since I was 12 years I know that I'm into girl & not thinking like my other friend lol , I was really confused ,I was never interested in guys ,I don't even remember any guy that I give him a second look , but still I was denying all that because I was thinking that it is only me who may have feeling to same sex , now I'm happy that I'm not alone any more in this world J & sorry for my poor English , good luck to every one
a win win situation?
even though all religions classify homosexuality as a sin, there is a notable movement to change that ..but because of the nature of not Islam but our obsolete traditions we suffer more than others or at least some of us do..
parents are more aware of lesbianism where i live because suddenly it's a trend! most of the girls pass time with their girlfriends because (a-they're more accessible and b- less chance of being discovered) until it's time to get married and then they become straight again! even though i don't appreciate this it's funny to see how officials are dealing with it :D whenever they have a new hangout they close it down so the girls find another so in some way it's nice to see how they never give up :) but it is troublesome as well because for e.g. my parents may suspect that being a lesbian is why i don't wanna marry anytime soon, or why am i rejecting all proposals coming my way..and god forbid that ever happens..
but I have to disagree..living half a life and loving each other from a far is plain torture to me..knowing that i will never have a chance to wake up to see her face..or have our own house one day..for god's sake just to be able to sleep with her without the fear of getting busted..I really wish it could be different..
"we are each of us angels with one wing..and we can only fly by embracing each other.."
i understand how u feel.u're
i understand how u feel.u're lucky u've found someone.i think more or less we have the same type of society,may i know where r u from?next year my sister will get marry.when that time comes,i'm sure my parents would tell me 2 hurry find a good guy n get marry.i really dont want to dissapoint them,but it's that easy.oh my god,being a girl at this age can be though,n it's not gonna get easier.
You'r right la lune :)
Since I was a little girl I was looking to live my life without any regret, because simply we are living in this world once so at least live it with your own decisions & without hearting any one ( just doing my best to do that though maybe one day i may not be able to do it L ) , I don't want to wonder one day & say what if,
So for me living half life better than not living it at all,,as I said before I would take what ever I can get ,that is much better than not trying it, who wouldn't like to wake up and see that special one's face , even the fears of being busted might not hold me back one day, incase I was busted that's ok , any way I didn’t go voluntarily to them & come out lol
But i still wish if it was much different and easier.who knows :)
perhaps it would be different one day..20 yrs in the future maybe! ^_^ let's see how it turns out for both of us at that time..
"we are each of us angels with one wing..and we can only fly by embracing each other.."
Im in the closet and a muslim!
Oh my,,,,20 yrs :(
Gay Arab Activists conference
Hi,
I am not a muslim but I have lived in Cairo for like a year. I can only guess how hard it must be for lesbians there. Because I already had so much more freedom than my female friends from university. I got to know one gay guy there and he told me that even for gay men it is difficult to meet (not to speak of living openly). Unfortunately I did not meet any lesbian, but no wonder, even I dared reveal my sexual orientation to only two Egyptians.
I found that there is going to be a Gay Arab Activist conference (launched by a Palestinian lesbian group!)
"A rare gathering of openly gay Arab activists is slated to be held in Israel this month, drawing the ire of religious conservatives. Headlined "Home and Exile," the March 28 meeting is meant to spark discussion of homosexuality among Israel's 1 million Arab citizens, said Roula Deeb, a prominent Arab feminist and one of the scheduled speakers.
The conference is being organized by Aswat, an Arab lesbian group based in Haifa, a coastal city home to both Jews and Arabs.
Around 100 to 150 people are expected to show up, Deeb said. With homosexuality a taboo topic in much of the Arab world, the meeting is important simply because it is taking place....." read more on: http://www.advocate.com/news_detail_ektid42850.asp
and: http://www.aswatgroup.org/english/index.php?article=121So, I do not know, maybe one of you can even go? But still, hope it will bring something forward...
Meh Muslim & in da closet
Meh come from Trinidad...lived 19 years in da US...Meh Fam & friends would totally freak if they knew meh had been with a gyul...Always been into gyuls since meh was young but being Muslim U can't really express that without being yelled at or worse...So meh learned 2keep those feelings 2myself...Just got use to telling people that meh was straight just really friendly & loving cuz meh from da islands that's just how we are..Dated guys just to prove to meh parents, friends, and even meh that meh was straight..Finally admitted to myself when meh was 22 That meh liked women...Now it's 5 years later and meh have dated both women & men..but rather be with a woman than a man anyday..Still in a closet only like 5 people know about meh...Hate living like this cuz it feels like meh can't really express who meh am...It makes meh sick BUT meh would rather this kinda life than lose or bring shame 2 meh fam..Meh Gwan~RYE~Da TRINI w/da SMILE
im a muslim too. n im not
im a muslim too. n im not really sure what's my sexual orientation.well, to be honest,i dont wanna be gay (which i might).homosexuality is not an option. i live in one of the largest muslim population country.till now,i still prefer being straight n hope that the urge will go away someday.as long as i haven't meet the "it" girl,i think im okay.i'm not happy with this condition,but at the time,that's what i can do.i'm not prepared to face the risk of comin out,and i think i'll never be ready.
Muslim and Gay.
Muslim and gay .....Oh God.
Its you who made me like this and they you barred me loving a girl.It would have been so easy to love a man,have kids,family friends and a normal social life.Who loves to sit alone and isloated from the rest of world.
Homosexuality is so natural,I was never give a choice,even I got married but it did not help.How long one can enjoy mechnical act every night.
So it its in my DNA,why why its banned by GOD.And these hetrosexual who are approved by society,go to bar,drink and f**k number of girls and society label them as rich and handsome who can attract lots of girls.What about adultery,is it OK in Christinaty and Islam?
Here we are talking about simple love and care and not lust.What if I love a woman without any reason .Well we do not calculate love on the basis of gender,money,social status ,its simple and pure wish to be with someone who can understand us.It can be woman.ahhhhh
World is sooo hard if you are marganilized like,Muslim,girl,gay and independent and somewhat smart.
It's not a Given
Unfortunately, all freedoms gained by gay and lesbians in recent years have been on the back of those that went before who struggled against conformaty, outrage and open hostility to their chosen lifestyles.
It is easy for some now not to acknowlegde that struggle and the fact that it still continues. The bravery of people living their lives in extremity under fear and without hope is an amazing thing. Just this forum makes you realise that you are not the only one struggling and debate will harbour solidarity. It is only by the coming together of those that are struggling that you can hope to change the hearts and minds of those who do not understand. It was only in this way that it became less oppressive for gay and lesbian people in other communities.
Good luck to all of you.
i'm Muslim
my gf
It must be tough for you
Been there with meh Ex GF
Hey Chicky Gyul What Gwan? Glad to hear you not pushing your GF into coming out...Meh Muslim like your gyul and it's da same things with meh fam...Jess, meh Ex, meh was her first GF (B4 meh she was straight)...Meh & Jess were going strong for about 8 months..Then she started talking about us coming out to fams & Friends...Meh just couldn't do it...in da end meh just broke it off cuz it wasn't fair to her thinking meh was ashamed of her or us...It been 2 years we still close as ever she's in love with this great guy..To be honest Meh not really a relationship type of gyul...So in da end it kinda worked out for da best...Good luck to U and your gyul...Meh wish allya nothing but Joy...For real if Allya need someone to talk to holla at meh or Meena..She great with da advice...Much Love ~RYE~Da TRINI w/da SMILE
i really can relate to what
Meena and Rye
few closets in the muslim world
the biggest closest in the middle east is the MALE FEMALE taboo.
males openly sort of hold hands kiss, have sex, and date a lot.
the girls are coming out more in the form of boyahs ...that is tomboy
the arabic word for tomboy is BOYAH...
they wear boys clothes, cut their hair and date hot girls ...these kids are about 18 and up.!! some younger are coming out...but the numbers as in the west are lower.
most people come to terms with the homosexuality later..after they figure out it isn´t
just some FEVER they have aquired. And the everytime a member of the same sex walks by that they are attracted to...of course, they chemical factor, well, when their loins burn up enuff and they try it and see shows on satelite like L Word, which does play in the Middle East, they are confirmed that they are NORMAL.
And yes Gay.
i have lived here 5 years going on one million and am deeply immeresed in the culture and living out all its taboos lol.
there is a lot of resentment even from gay arab men that gay arab women are coming out. It rocks their world. As we women tend to do.
Just waiting for HILARY CLIT-TON to come out and rule the world. lolçç
that cnn report is pathetic as usual
education boys and girls
the Middle East is HUGE.
Lebanon is not the same as Iraq or Oman or Yemen.
There is the GULF and then there is the rest...the Middle East cannot be classified as ONE PLACE like America. that is sooo stupid.