well, my SECOND time coming out to a friend was a lot more interesting than the first, though that doesnt say much, because the first friend was also gay and already out and proud. but aaaaanyway....
we were coming home from a movie and somehow the topic of gay people came up. i'd been kinda wanting to talk to her about it for awhile, but was still feeling really hesitant about it.
she's a pretty strong christian believer, but she plays basketball and is pretty open minded. basically it got around to, 'well what do you think about it?' and she basically said, 'well, i couldn't really say because i don't know how they feel, so i guess i can't judge.'
i suddenly found myself blurting out, 'well, i could tell you.....cause i'm gay.' she was just like, 'really?' and i said, 'yeah, pretty much.' lol. i kinda freaked out afterward(mostly because i honestly couldn't believe i'd just blurted it out like that), but she seemed okay with it, so whatever.
I first came out two years ago to my sister after I began a relationship with my current partner. It was uncomfortable for me because I am divorced with 2 little girls and I was so concerned about being juged. I Had told my best friend about the relationship prior to telling my sister-not expecting the backlash that would ensue, so I was extremely cautious when telling my family. My dad still doesn't know-at least I haven't confirmed it for him yet, but the rest of my siblings and my mom know. I'm sure they have a lot of ?'s seeing as how I was married and had 2 kids in that relationship but I just don't know if I want to explain or if I should. Advice here would be great...
My situation: I knew I was gay from way back... I just didn't identify as such until I met my partner. I met my partner while studying Mandarin Chinese in Taiwan. My partner didn't even know she was gay until she met me (Yes, we're both "gold stars".). People are always surprised when I tell them that my partner was the one who told me that she fancied me (more than a friend).
Since were both in a foreign country (or state, if you're going to be political about it) we both decided to leave Taiwan and go back to our own countries. We were there for 6 years studying, then working (purpose was to be together).
We now have a little import/export business. My partner hopes that within a few years, we will have enough money to get me an investor visa. This way, I can move to her country permanently. This is going to involve hard work on my partner's part in getting the paperwork done and going through all that red tape. She also has some issues with her church... being head of church youth activities and interpreter on weekly services. In the meantime, I'm stuck here hoping that I can be with her before I'm "bloody fifty."
Coming out: It was a no-brainer for everyone. Friends back home assumed we were a couple from photos and when they first met her on her first visit to my country. They finally asked me just to confirm. My brother said he knew it the first time he met her (also on her first visit to my country). Recently, he asked me if we plan to have kids.
I don't remember exaclty how I came out to my parents. It was over dinner. Dad was surprisingly ok with it. Mom was in denial for quite a while and asked strange questions like, "What do you guys do?" and "What do you want me to do with that information?"
That's a pretty funny story...it was prob a little awkward at first (at second and prob at third too? lol) But i'm sure you're glad you did it cuz it's pretty much not the easiest thing to say most of the time. *High-fivez*
I guess... well, I don't just have ONE coming out story, cause I first came out to my friends from school, then to my mom, and then to my friends in college.
The funniest/saddest one, was when I came out to my mom. My first girlfriend ever, had just broke up with me (I was 15), and I was at home with my mom. I wanted to cry and all, but I couldn't without my mom asking me what had happened. And it was hard for me, because my mom knew my ex and they liked each other. I simply went to her room and laid in her bed and hugged her and started to cry. My mom asked me why I was crying, and without really wanting to, I told her it was because I broke up with my girlfriend. She looked at me and said:"your... your what??" "My girlfriend ma... (name)" "soo... what are you? a lesbian? are you bi or what?" "I don't know ma, I guess I'm a lesbian" "oh ok... you want me to go punch her in the face for hurting you???" I said no, and then we laughed a while, she hugged me and told me we couldn't tell my dad, cause then he'd have a heart attack xD I still haven't told him, hehe...
Well, it turns out everyone knew I was gay before I knew it. For instance, the frist girl to pick up on it was four years ago; she asked me out, I flipped, and didn't speak to her again. I regret this know because she was a catch. The second girl was the first one I had a crush on, just never realised it until two years later. Okay, now I've set the backdrop to my story. My junior year, two years ago... I was still a good christian girl who liked Orlando Bloom and had had more bf's than I could count. One class ruined this. There was a new teacher and I was fascinated with her, at least that's what I wished to believe. After several classes and alot of my attention, I could tell you no more about Math than I could about the properties of an atom. What I could tell you is how nicely that shirt fit her. Finally, my best friend had enough and said "Just face it, you're a lesbian!" She said it jokingly but it opened my eyes. So I guess my first coming out really wasn't by my mouth but someone else's.
I was, however, forced to come out to my little brother my senior year. He was a freshman and it was inevitable that he'd find out anyways. At the time, I was seeing this girl named Amber and she came up to me one day complaining about my brother flirting with her. This just wasn't right. So, the next day I locked him in the car and drove up the interstate at 90 miles an hour (so he couldn't flee) and told him he couldn't flirt with Amber anymore. He asked why, and I replied that I was. His emotions went from shock, to grief, to "sweet". Boys will be boys.
I still haven't gotten round to the parents... but that story will be full of tears and blood so it may be awhile.
i only came out to one of my friends yet...well one of my friends here in germany, in australia sum more know it, but i havent told anyone over here yet ( apart from her)..it was actually really weird, we were shopping in cologne n we were talking in english ( she was on excahnge in canada n i was in australia) n all of a sudden i blurted out : im gay...n not the happy, jolly kind of gay. n she said, oh ok..n then we talked bout other stuff...i didnt know if she really got me but then she asked when i first noticed n i told her n we talked bout it for quite a while.. she was totally cool with it....im still not totally sure if im gay or bi tho...doesnt matter.
i think i wont come out to my parents for quite a while...
I am already out to nearly everyone I know, and aside from my parents and some historically narrow-minded extended family members, everyone has been thoroughly supportive. But while my parents know I'm a lesbian, they are conservative Christians and believe that I am by choice, and if given different surroundings, I will choose differently (read: better). I have no guilt about who I am. It is only since I realized I was gay at 19 that I have begun to feel like a whole human being. I am complete now--completely me, and that gives me a baseline happiness that gets me through the other troublesome parts of my life.
My mother called this morning. She wants me to go to this Baptist megachurch and tell her what it was like. She doesn't seem to know me at all; sexuality aside, there has never been a day in my life, even while a member of a church, that I was also a believer. I stayed to make people happy. For the last ten years, I have been studying Buddhism, and the two years I spent in Thailand have only spurred me further towards taking up authentic practice. This year, I have. I even have a small altar in my apartment to help me focus when I meditate and pray.
I have no place in a Baptist church. I do not want to remake the world in my image as they seem to. I just want to live a quiet, honest life without interference. Long story short, in lieu of attending above church, I will be writing a letter to my parents explaining for the umpteenth time why I am not going and why I won't set foot in one except for the wedding of a friend or relative. They already know who I am; now comes the time that they must also realize it. Wish me luck.
"Better than a thousand useless words is one word that brings us peace."
I am 21 years old, about 5'2" inches tall, and I love women. I had my first experience with a girl when I was 17. She was gorgeous and I truly thought we were in love. Until she started dating a guy... and talked about marrying him. Dah, high school. Oh yeah... this was during my freshman year in college, and whenever I came home, she would "seduce" me and take advantage of the fact that I was still head over heels for her. It broke my heart, so I decided to steer clear of that side of my life for a while. And I did a pretty good job of it. I held down good jobs, continued going to school, didn't date much. I just tried to get my life back into my own control.
That was before I met the girl I have been on-again-off-again with for a year and a half. I met her through my sorority (yeah girls, eat your hearts out, I'm in a sorority) and we just kind of hit it off immediately. I finally told her that I liked her one night after a long day. She went to her bedroom and we layed on her bed and I kissed her... and to my surprise she kissed me back. And the rest is history. Because of this relationship, I've come out to my older sister (awkward), my little brother and a few friends (two of them want to be with me now that they are sure I am gay... nice, huh?) I am still scared to tell my parents, and some of the girls in my sorority, or other people around, but sometime I will. Right now, I am just taking my time, loving the woman I love with all of my heart, and being me. I would say just figure out who you are, and don't let anyone tell you different.
Yeah i know what that is like to come out over & over & over again....i work in a kindergarten & by the end of every year i have to come out to several of my students parents purely because i build a close rapport with most of them over the year & i live in a small town so they see me get picked up everyday by my gf, or they see me out at the shops always with Naomi my gf.....but i have to say the funniest part about it is that every year i have at least two parents &/or work colleages confess some kind of attraction to me....most straight, married & curious ....i think the fact that i look like the girl next door makes it easier for them to justify the feelings they have......just guessing?????
Luckly for me i have a very trusting gf.....she loves to tell the stories of my crushes....like the time i she found a pair of womens underpants....bonds boyleg, size 8....in a plastic bag with the videos i had lent to a girl from work......but that is just the beginning of some odd shit that i have encountered....
Coming out to my friends was easier then what I thought! When I came out, all my friends were straight, and I did not give them the credit they actually deserved, lol. I was convinced they were going to make a huge deal out of it, and they were all 100% fine… With my family t was the exact opposite.
My relationship with my mom has always been troubled.. She is bipolar, and since about 12 I was “the adult” in the house. Because of that we were always more friends than mother and daughter, and I had always been open and honest with her, and considered my mom one of the most accepting people I knew. Well, it turns out that was only applicable to “other peoples children”, lol and when I finally came to terms with my sexual orientation, I went to her fully trusting she would be the one person who would understand, then all hell broke lose! Lol It was awful, the insults ranged from mentally ill, to “I would have preferred you being a prostitute”, and so on… It lasted a month and I moved out and in with my girlfriend. The night I moved out, my mom attempted suicide (I am convinced it was to get me back into the house, and away from my “evil path”, lolol). For a month we had a power struggle, and when she finally came to terms with the fact that there was really nothing she can do about it, she calmed down, and finally accepted it. My father on the other hand just chooses to ignore it, and despite having been told by me, still asks me when am I going to get married (to a man obviously).
It was a surprise and, at the same time, a relief. It taught me a lot about the reality of my relationship with my parents and what actually does matter in life.
My coming out story is ongoing lol, I think my mother will always be a little bit in denial, but my dad's just hasn't made a big deal, and has tried to understand, but whatever, you wanna hear the story....
O.k, so I've always known I was gay, I look back at stuff and laugh at some REALLY gay memories, and it got to the point where I met a girl who made me feel things like nothing else, you know that first moment of raw physical attraction combined with the body language jive....damn, well, she was bi and she encouraged me to be honest about myself. I thought about life long and hard for a couple of months, then one day I sat down with my mum, and a LARGE glass of wine (or several lol) and told her. Initially she reacted pretty well, no anger no tantrums but I've always had comments about how I should be with a certain male friend or whatever (OMG BTW who else hates the "You just need the right man to straighten you out") anyway, about 4 years after my come out, I got back in touch with the girl who'd helped me and we hooked up for a while. We've since split up, but the moral of the story is kiddies....if you don't succeed at first...etc...lol
My story is an ongoing one. Im still not completly out to my whole family but still. I had always had the doubt of wether or not i liked girls and then i met this bi girl who liked me an then i realized i liked girls..never did anything with her because she moved and i had a two year boyfreind at the moment. SO i came out to my best friend and he couldnt believe it but he loves it although he says it sucks for him because he will never have a chance to get with me. My mom was second to know and she took it really good but she told me not tell the family just yet. When i get a gf though then im telling. Then came school which was this year and i basically said fuck it and told everyone and since rumors in my school spread faster than a disease i was out in about a couple of days.
Aww comming out stories. Like most of the girls on the L word, mine isn't one of those that ends well. I grew up in upper class Brentwood and went to Academy in LA until my parents decided to move to Orange County Junior year of Highschool, and force me to go to Catholic school in Santa Ana. I did not want to go to school there. I hated the bible thumping, homophobic, mediocrity I found there. Orange County to me, was not like my inlightened WEHO, or my cultured Santa Monica Art crowd. I was so bored that somewhere a long the line I started dating this Football player. He was a total meathead, but if I hadn't been with him I would have never met Veck. Her real name was Katerina but everyone called her Veck, a shortening of her last name. She was a cheerleader, and a 10, and like most of the songleaders and cheerleaders, a junkie. The boy I was dating and I were at this Football party in Irvine when Veck and her degenerate boyfriend got into a fight. He was cheating on her with her best friend, so she put a cigarette out on the top of his hand. I liked her immediately. A mutual friend of my boyfriend and I told us she had no ride home and she was worried about her and if either of us were willing to take her to Long Beach. I told my boyfriend I was going to give her a ride home and he could get a ride with his buddies since he lived closer to Irvine, and left with her. She was brassy, and beautiful... and for most of the time we were together, she was all I could think about. She put a sort of spell on me. Her tradegdy was endearing. She sat in the car next to me chain smoking cigarettes, and we started talking. Turns out she hated Orange County just as much as I did. She asked me if I wanted to get away from all this, and I of course said yes, so we drove. And drove and drove. We drove all the way up to Santa Barbra, which is where she put my car in park and kissed me for the first time. Our relationship was very tumultuous. We were together a little over a year. No one loved me like she did, so I was able to ignore all the drugs, until she got me into them. I came out to my mother, that I was a lesbian and a drug addict on the same day. She sent me away, and when I came back Veck was only worse. As much as I loved her, I couldn't be with a junkie anymore. I told her to clean up or get out. And she said goodbye, so I left. It was sad, but at least I got the chance to love someone that much. I went to New York that summer, and took some of the best photos of my career, and none of that would have happend if I would have stayed with Veck.
I came out to my sister first, then one of my friends, and then my dad.
I had had a crush on a girl from school for about 2 years. she was charming, beautiful, intelligent, and most of all she was the only open lesbian at school at the time. problem was, she didn't even know me. i was too shy to talk to her (in the end she went to uni and i haven't seen her since) but eventually the pain got too much and i had to tell someone. me and my sister were sat in the kitchen and we got onto the subject of this guy who had a crush on me. my sister ansked me if i'd ever go out with him. i said no and then she asked if a had a crush on anyone. i burst into tears (at which point my sister thought she's REALY offended me LOL) and just blurted out that i'm gay. my sister was fine about it. i told my friend by letter, which i left in her desk LOL, i'm a total chicken i know. when i told my dad he went through stages. almost like grief LOL. at first he was OK, then minutes later he'd changed his mind. he cried on and off for several days, then he didn't talk to me for a week (and barely looked at me) then just didsn't mention it for months untill we were in the car one day and he just said 'do you still like girls' i said yes and that was about that. now he just doesn't mention it but i'm fine with that because at least he's not crying.
o wow, i love to hear other peoples stories, mine isnt quite as thrilling a tale.
i was dating this lovely guy. he was charming, attractive, funny and he loved me. which made me wonder why everytime he said those 3 killer words "i love you" id make a joke or change the subject. i guess i sorta felt that maybe that was all love was..really likeing someone. the lightening bolts etc were just over dramatised. there was no reason i could think why i wouldnt love him. he was every girls dream and maybe quite afew blokes aswell.. just not a gay girls ideal match.
then i met hayley, i bumped into her in the dark room at college.. i was smitten. she was in the year above and i only really ever saw her in photography, i spend my days just hoping to get a glimps of her. then one day me and my friends were trying to decide what dish we dared try from the canteens potentialy deadly food, when i hear from behind me "got 2 50p for a pound" (its the dialog of every great novel) i didnt have those coins but we did strike up a conversation. which ended several hours later with the words "you are gay right"
coming out for me was one of the hardest things but looking back it was a breeze, i cried and cried to my mother and said words that theres no going back on "mum im gay" to which she replied "thank god i thought you were pregnant or something.. guess i wont have to worry about that anymore"
I think my favorite was when I came out to my friend. The story about coming out to my Mom isn't that great, so I'm going to share this one.
It was the beginning of 8th grade, and I didn't have any friends. =( I was lonely and what not. And then, suddenly, this girl Morgan started talking to me. At this point, I already knew I was bisexual, but I hadn't told ANYONE.
So I started hanging around this girl Morgan, and her friends, one of whom was Mary (Mary is now an out and proud lesbian - back then, not so much).
I was staying the night at Morgan's house, and she said "Out of all of our friends, who do you think could be bi?" =) I thought I was totally caught, so I named our friend Evyn (stereotypical tomboy, so what the hell, why not throw her name out?).
Then she laughed (Evyn might be the straightest girl ever) and said that it was Mary. Then I just replied, "Oh, that's cool, me too."
And suddenly, I was out. =O Best part was, my friends didn't care, and Morgan and I are still best friends today.
Today, I am especially thankful for all the friends that I have. I came out to my housemates (3 of them) a few weeks ago, and they have been nothing but supportive. Even as much as talking to me about which girls i find hot, sex etc etc.... Anyways, I wanted to tell another 2 friends of mine but I wasn't so sure and it took me a while to sum up the courage to do so. I told them yesterday night. I think I must have been blessed with amazing friends because the both of them were REALLY COOL about it, and one of them said i was SO SILLY to think that she would not be okay with me being gay.
So yes, I thank god (or whoever) for the wonderfulness of having the friends that I do. I know that there will be other people out there who may not want to accept me for who I am, but I know I'll be okay, because I have my friends. To everyone else thinking of coming out, I can only hope that your friends will be as accepting as mine have. Good luck!
i have lot of gay friends, we go to gay clubs etc, i had a feeling i was gay but never admitted it,so used to tell epople i was straight...one night i had a conversation with my friend emily (gay) who said i meant the world to her and she didnt want to hurt me but she thought i was gay/bi...and i said to her so do i...so basically that was my first kind of coming out..it was easy
to my sister was weird, her boyfriends brother saw me in a gay club (hes gay) and made a bet with her for £50 that i wasnt straight...she txt me asking me..i couldnt deny it...so we had tearful conversation but she was cool
told one of my best friends sarah after that who is incredibly straight and your typical beautiful popular teenage, wasnt sure how she would take it, but we dont keep secretes from each other i was shaking when i told her, and i couldnt stop shaking she was totally fien with it and asked everything she wanted to ask including the typical "do you fancy me" questions, just so everythign wasnt akward.
my parents, well my dad he was fine said he kinda knew, my mum didnt say much which for my mum is unsual, she cried and said she wa "disapointed""not what she wanted""hated it"..couple of days later sat me down and spoke to me tellign me she didnt want me to see my friends, it was a phase, i wasnt sure, im stupid etc...so i told he ri have never been more sure of anything in my life and i wish she could accept it cos all i wanted was so i didnt have to lie to her, she then started to come around abit the more and mro ei confirmed it to her...and then asked "so do you want to have sex with women then?!"..."yes mum i do....!!"..shes ok now..but i know she doesnt like it..she shes accepted it...
I was in heavy denial about my sexuality, still am from time to time, until my first semester of college. There was the MOST ADORABLE girl I'd ever seen in my life who lived down the hall from me. I'd always make it a point to walk by her room (creepy) or go to the same parties. We triple kissed with some random guy once, highlight of my semester. I knew that moment it was for sure.
I came out to my friends from home which was a little rocky, since a few of them didn't take me seriously at first, and one of them freaked out. I waited a whole other year to truly come out to my friends at school. I was very drunk and demanded my one friend come to my dorm at 4 AM, and when she got there I burst out into tears and told her I hate being with guys (I was going through a very slutty stage) and that I was probably a lesbian. She was great about it, but accidently outted me to our other friends. It isn't something thats ever discussed, I feel like because they can't relate (sober) so I don't know what I can say without making them uncomfortable and they don't want to make ME uncomfortable, so they still discuss guys with me. Like I care. I've never had a gf and its as though people won't see it as legit until I do, and continue to consider me confused. I'm not confused, just stuck in my straight world of straight friends.
I have a "date" with a guy friend tomorrow night who doesn't know yet, that'll be a fun conversation to have. I hate coming out.
You brave girls!I have known that im more into girls than boys since about 12 years old but im sill yet to tell people!Im bi so ive been out with a couple of guys.bUT I REALLY DONT HAVE THE GUTS TO TELL PEOPLE!considering im yet to have my first full on 'experience' im not sure anyone would beleive me anyway!well im travelling to the states in a few months so maybe if i bring back a pretty lady...it might be the best way!!!
Reading these stories makes me Wish I could come out to Everyone in my Life. But i Cant some of my friends know but not all of them(some wouldnt understand or agree wit it or maybe not even believe me) n on the Parent front I would basically loose my entire family because there old fashioned n i guess u can say relgious( They dont believ or like gays) i know close minded but u only get one family right? (n u dont choose them) My mom would disown me agian( for like the 3rd time) n then id probably never be able to see my siblings or anyone else in my Family. keeping this a secret for so long has Gutted me for years but i guess now ive just come to terms wit it that my family can never know. But then i think how am i gonna have a serious or semi serious relationship if the girl im wit is open n im not, like is she going to be able to deal wit it that it has to be on the down low wit certain people in my life. I grew up in a pretty big/ small at same time city were i couldnt come out. I use to have the biggest crush on this girl that worked at the gym i always use to go to( and she had one on me to) but i could nevr do anything only because I was SHy as hell around her its like i became a diffrent person n 2 thinking about my family n what would happen if we got caught. I know alot of u might me thinking who cares its ur life if they cant except u then screw them but its not that simple, I never had a good relationship wit my family in fact for 3 year in never spoke or saw them but recently we reconsiled and things r going good 4 the first time in my life i dont wanna ruin it. But luckily i moved to another country far from them so i do have a little space for me. If ill ever open up to them who knows.
this is how i felt about the girl i Liked but could never tell her:
Last night i couldn't even get an answer, I tried to call, But my pride wouldn't let me dial, And i'm sittin' here...with this blank expression, And the way i feel, I wanna curl up like a child.
I need you, And you need me, This is so plain to see, And i will never let you go and i will always love you so..i will.. If you could only see your heart belongs to me, I love you so much, I'm yearin' for your touch, Come and set me free, Forever yours i'll be, Baby won't you come and take this pain awayay
I came out to my mom maybe three times, yeah I finally became specific the third time. And just recently came out to two of my best friends which I wish I would of done a lot earlier, but things happen for a reason and I believe very much in timing. Telling my best bud since grade school was a bit emotional and I hate crying in public but she was so cool about it and now wants to find me a girlfriend haha. I told my other buddy over drinks yeah I know what a great enviroment to share something so life altering but the next day we had coffee and talked things out and we had a great conversation funny but great. Telling my best guy friend was pretty easy ok well not that easy but he was very "guy" about it yet he wants me to be happy no matter who it's with and I love them all for that. Coming out I feel is a process, that even intails coming out to yourself. You don't have to label yourself right away I know I didn't but you'll grow to love being honest with those close with you.
First day of my final year in college...no third day. College cafeteria. Told 2 of my very good friends. Later, told a lot of my other friends but now I feel it was not worth it at all.
The only person i have officially come out to was my sister. We went for a run one day which was only supposed to be like 3 miles and I was going to have surgery and really wanted to get it off my chest. So I told her and the 3 mile run turned into an almost 14 mile(and no im not exaggerating) walk where she told me she thought it was just a phase and i would get over it and that i was too young to make that kind of decision anyways. It wasn't exactly the response i was hoping for so i held off on telling the rest of my family and friends.
It all started in late 2003, when me and my best friend started discussing some musician she liked, who was bisexual. And we were all like how that's really practical, because why limit yourself to only half of the population?
And over the next weeks I was sort of... becoming acquainted with the whole being gay/bi business, and I realized that mayyybe I'm not that straight after all. I had simply never questioned it. And so I kinda came out to my best friend but we never actually discussed it. It was really complicated, because we sometimes talk endlessly about something without ever calling it by its name.
And no sooner had I come to terms with everything, I found myself completely in love with a girl from my class. She was so beautiful and I still miss her sometimes. (She went to England for a year and I left school and I never saw her again.)
I came out to my parents on October 11th last year. Because it was Coming Out Day and I felt silly like that. It was one night before my birthday and I sat my parents down and rambled on and on and on and on about all kinds of stuff, I remember talking about Sherlock Holmes at one point, which is really odd. And they were all, are we done soon? And I was like, no no no no wait.
And then I said, "I'm kinda queer." And they were like, "The what now?" And I was like, "Well, I'm... not straight?" And then I quoted a marvellous phrase I had read somewhere earlier that day: "I really love boys, I just don't want to see them naked." And then they finally got it, while I was squirming in my seat like a fish on dry land. And my mother was like, "O...kay?" And my father said that he totally wouldn't mind if I brought a pretty girl home, and my mother kicked him under the table, and then he started saying that maybe I was just lacking experience, and before he could insinuate that "it's just a phase" and I told them that it's most definitely not a pahse, because I've known for three years.
And I asked them not to tell anyone, because, you never know. My mother has a really big mouth sometimes, and I hate all of my parents' friends, so. And my mother said that she and my father were completely fine with it and everyone else could just screw themselves, couldn't they. And I don't think I've ever loved my parents more than in that moment.
I also asked them if they had ever suspected and they said no. "Not even when I mentioned that I want to marry Pink?" - "Uhm... no?"
What mostly triggered it was my mother constantly trying to play matchmaker for me. She'd come home and tell me that one of her friends has a son and he's my age and really good looking and totally my type... And I'd be like, "I have a type?" And after I had come out I'd half expected her to constantly provide me with potential girlfriends, but no such luck. She still does the thing, "...and the aunt of the brother of the wife has a son, and he plays guitar, just like you!" And then my father goes, "Does he maybe have a daughter?"
I'm also out to most people I know online, which is about 100% easier than doing it in real life. Possibly because you don't have to watch them watch you blush and stutter.
I think my most memorable coming-out was when I started in a new school last fall.
There was this round when everyone tells who they are, where they're from etc. When it was my turn, I said I come from the other side of the country and that I now live in the countryside in an old house. The teacher immediately asked: "...so you've got a boyfriend here! A-haaa!" I just replied: "..actually it's a girlfriend."
For a moment in the classroom you could have heard a pin drop. Then the teacher bursted: "Oooohh!!!! That's sooo great!!!! Congratulations!!! ...Yeah!!..cool!" There seemed to be no end to it.
I was like...OK. I had been going out with my girl for over a year already :-)
I just smiled on, but my heart bounced madly. It was our first day in school, and I had already come out at once to all of the people I would be studying and working with for the next four years. What if they hated me? I didn't even know their names yet!
It really cannot be any easier to come out! And in the end everything went so well, my class is the best. And the teachers are nice too. I think the teacher in question was later a little bit ashamed for her "over-reaction", but it just makes me laugh now.
Kinda funny (in a "silly me" sorta way): I came out to my mom close to the holidays...actually, I was VERY aware that I was being stereotypical by thinking of coming out on Thanksgiving Day, so, because I'm clever as a cat, I waited till 12:15a.m. on the following day to wake my mom up and tell her. Dodged a bullet there! LOL
Definitely Unexpected: When I told my mom, she turned it around and came out to me...turns out she's bisexual, and my oh-so-sharp gaydar missed it. Huh. Oops.
On the weekend I was at my Sister-In-Laws birthday party and she asked do you have a boyfriend - NO - then do you have a girlfriend I didnt say yes but she could tell by the look on my face. She said that she suspected it since I was always hanging out with "B". Then she got upset that I hadnt told her earlier, I just didnt know what to say. I feel so relieved even thought I wasnt planning on telling her.
That no matter who it is....if it was my boss, my grandma, my dad, my best friend, my brother...if they straight up, honestly ask me....are you gay? (actually it usually goes like this "shorty what's your deal? are you gay or something?" lol) I will always give them an honest answer...but sometimes I'll tell them afterwards...but don't tell people...if someone that doesn't know I'm gay hears it from someone else its always kinda weird, especially since some random people I know know that I am, still some of my best friends that I would feel totally comfortable coming out to dont know...but that's cuz they've never asked lol. When you dont feel the NEED to do it, why do it? Especially in the situation I'm in, sometimes when someone asks me it's like they already knew they just want to know if i'll tell em the truth...or I'll come out to someone and they're like "yeaaah....and?" haha like everyone already knows and they're chill with it
reading a lot of these stories makes me so thankful for my family, cuz likethey say, u cant choose your family, if i had friends that weren't ok with who i was, they wouldn't be my friends, but u cant do that with family. And by family I mean the few close members I have, my dad, my two bros, my sister in law, my brother in law and my nieces...and the world will have ended before I flat out tell my grandparents..of course unless they ask me.
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"Valentine's Day's coming? Aw crap! I forgot to get a girlfriend again!"- Fry
i just had the funniest, n kinda dumbest (on my part) comin out....at hockeytraining i decided that it was time to tell a girl ive known for ages that i was gay. while running we talked n talked n talked. it kinda went like that:
me:well...you know, i dont like kai (my ex bf, from my denial stage^^)too much
her: i figured that
me: yeah, but for different reasons that u might think
her: as in...?
me:well, its nothin personal, more general...
her: is he missin sumthin?
me: yes...i guess u could say that
her: what??
me: boobs
her:muscles?
me: no, boobs
her: do u like girls?( then she started laughin...i was like, shit, why the hell is she laughin??)
me: well, yes....i just thought u should know cos we do gymnastics together n u might wanna be aware of me...^^ (that WAS a joke!!)
her: oh ok...thats cool...u know, u could have just told me...
and that was pretty much it, she just asked the "usual" questions but was more than fine with it....and yes i know that i tend to complicate every situation....but i just wasnt sure how to say it so i tried to just slowly get there....so theres one less to tell...^^
Well, I realized that I was gay when I was a freshman in high school. All of the signs were there, and eventually I just came to terms with it.
Later on that year, I came out to my straight best friend (who I had only known for a few months at that point) and she was not even remotely surprised. She had suspected it the whole time, and it was very funny. She was very supportive though, and to this day she is still my biggest advocate.
After that, I went crazy and pretty much came out to the whole school. It turned out to be a very bad idea, because it was a very small rural school full of conservative christian bigots. I basically just attempted to piss everyone off, and I became very militant about it. But, I was young it and seemed like a good idea at the time.
So, the whole school (and town for that matter) knows, and I have faced a lot of opposition, but my friends are very cool about it.
As far as my family... I have told my a few of my cousins that I am close with, but they live across the country so I don't see them much. Other than them, I have told no one in my family, especially my parents. They are religious fundamentalists and it would not go over well. I am not looking forward to that conversation. They suspect it though, so they have just been in denial I guess.
I'm not completely out to my entire family out, but my brother and most of my close friends all know. I don't even want to imagine my my parents would do/say if I came out to them ><" Conservative asian parents... *shudder* even my brother had a majorly hard time accepting it.... anywhooo I think I had the easiest first coming out :P
I was chatting to my best friend online and out of nowhere she tells me she's gay... I was like oh... ME TOO :D I had suspected she was gay, but apparently I shocked the hell out of her. We had a good laugh about it the next day at school... :P
Even though I kissed a lot of girls, despised all my boyfriends, and was mostly friends with gay/bi people, I'd never let myself think I was gay, because, well, I just couldn't be. So when people went to me "oh you're so gay, you're such a lesbian" I was like nope, fraid not.
And then I started counting how many people questioned my sexuality, and how often I had to deny it, and realised in about 3 days, 7 different people had asked me about my sexuality, and then I thought the obvious question "well, am I?" And obv. it was a yes.
So then my gay/bi friends were like "so on a scale of 1-10, how gay or straight are you?", 1 being totally straight, 10 being totally gay. And when we got to me I just said "oh, I'm such a 10..." and from there I started coming out properly.
I was shoved out, by a person that sat with me at lunch. She was talking about how all her friends were gay, bi, or wicca. Or a combination of the three.
She asked me, and I kind of muttered an answer. She didn't push that hard, but I felt bad about not telling the truth. So, in a way, I was relieved when the next day, she when around the table asking everyone.
And that time, I told them. And preceded to have a panic attack. XD
None of them minded, and many were upset with the fact that she made Amy and I uncomfortable with being on the spot like that.
Since then, I've told people slowly, as they ask, or as I feel necessary.
I have had some interesting conversations with people who assume I'm straight, though.
Yeah they say it all the time, my friends who don't really know but kinda do
Then someone will sarcastically say "yeah cuz shorty is SUCH a lesbian"
and i'm like hehe yeah...
then people will ask me if i'm a lesbian
and my honest answer will be "no"
cuz
I'm bi
I just sometimes dont clear that up after I say "no" lol unless it's someone that i've been waiting to tell
It's funny how many people I dont tell because they don't ask...cuz they're either uncomfortable with that question, they already somewhat "know" or for some reason they're convinced i'm completely straight,which...if you hung out with me for 10 minutes you'd think those people were crazy
but alot of times I just want people to ask, cuz for me it's more uncomfortable to just be like "yeah I want to tell u somethin"
Like my best friend(guy) had a girlfriend for about 2 years and apparently they had been broken up for about a month and i didnt know. The only way I did know was randomly at dennys when a friend asked "so how are you and alia?" which for some reason i never cared to ask my best friend (cuz i'm a bitch like that i guess) and he's like "we broke up" and im like WHAT?! why didnt you say so?! and he says "cuz you didn't ask...whats the point in randomly just saying hey shorty me and alia broke up it'd be kinda awkward"
and now i understand ...and that's kinda my philosophy on things too
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"Valentine's Day's coming? Aw crap! I forgot to get a girlfriend again!"- Fry
which for some reason i never cared to ask my best friend (cuz i'm a bitch like that i guess) and he's like "we broke up" and im like WHAT?! why didnt you say so?! and he says "cuz you didn't ask...whats the point in randomly just saying hey shorty me and alia broke up it'd be kinda awkward"
and now i understand ...and that's kinda my philosophy on things too
This does not really make any sense to me. Because someone didn't ask that means that the other person should not volunteer information? 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' in a friendship/relationship? I'm not sure that's quite healthy..
i frist knew i was gay when i was 11, and i told one of my friends that i thoght i might be, and she kinda went into denial anmd didn't really believe me. until the next year when i told every 1 in my year. which i found easy as most of the ppl in my year were guys and i knew they weren't going to take the piss or be mean about it. then a year later i moved to boarding scl (sounds like a dream come true, house full of girls!!) and within the first week i'd told every 1, except my brother, who i told a couple of moths later. i didn't tell my parents, one of my friends did, she's bi, and she told my parents without even telling me she was going 2 so i didn't even know they knew until my mum came up 2 me and said she knew and that she and my dad were fine with it.
I lived on the streets, lost my job, got beaten up a few times, and other nice stuff... then when things got better, I picked myself up and dusted myself off and started to climb out of the mess... I would go into detail, but I prefer to simply let sleeping dogs lie. It was a difficult time, though it taught me a lot, and that I can survive anything, even hunger, having no place to live, and being attacked viciously,not being able to shower, change my clothes, learning how to fight with a knife and so on... I also learned the fine art of letting go, so my stories are simply stories, not rehashes of bitter memories...
I own my own home now, and am successful, but I would not wish my coming out on someone I despised, let alone someone I liked...
I was outed by a lover, which did not help, so believe me when I tell you, whoever needs to know, it is better they know from you, versus a secondary source...
Oh and, whatever is going on, it will pass...no matter how bad it is, most bridges can be rebuilt, if the people involved want it, and time is given for things to heal...
I had pumped myself up all day long with those resolutions, making changes, fresh start etc. feelings and I was so sure I was going to have the balls to tell my sister.
But when the time came... there goes balls or whatever girls use.
So I decided to pump me up with something a little more eloquent than optimism.... alcohol. And I did a great job. I pumped like no tomorrow... which when I woke up the next day I wish it'd been true... but anyway, it worked. I managed to tell her.
And from then on I not only never had a drink again but was also able to come out much more easily. Best friends and mom already done, now I'm working on the big ones, whole family and tough-ass dad.
about the middle of my junior year AKA last week, i asked out this girl that i like and knew that likes me too. a couple days later we were hanging out with some of my friends and she was laying down using my lap as a pillow. my friends were kind of ignoring that because we were trying to comfort my friend who had just broken up with her "boyfriend". when we were leaving one of my guy friends just asked me "so just to clear this up, are you guys....what?" then i said "...um yeah, she's my girlfriend" it was kind of funny because everyone was like 'yeah that's cool now lets get somthing to eat.' it was like "incase you couldn't tell by her head in my lap she also wrote '(name) owns this' on my arm". but their cool with it and everything so i just have to figure out how to tell my parents.
about the middle of my junior year AKA last week, i asked out this girl that i like and knew that likes me too. a couple days later we were hanging out with some of my friends and she was laying down using my lap as a pillow. my friends were kind of ignoring that because we were trying to comfort my friend who had just broken up with her "boyfriend". when we were leaving one of my guy friends just asked me "so just to clear this up, are you guys....what?" then i said "...um yeah, she's my girlfriend" it was kind of funny because everyone was like 'yeah that's cool now lets get somthing to eat.' it was like "incase you couldn't tell by her head in my lap she also wrote '(name) owns this' on my arm". but their cool with it and everything so i just have to figure out how to tell my parents.
My coming out story is quite similar to generalpicture. I was brought up in quite a strict christian household, with every little thing monitored to curb 'sin'. At about 15/16 years old i started to have these feelings that made no sense to me. I saw my girlfriends in a new light and fancied the pants off my English teacher, but didn't or even couldn't tell anyone. About two years later, having dated a few men in the process, I realised that i couldn't change it- the feelings weren't going anywhere. I eventually plucked up the courage to tell a close girlfriend how i felt and what was going on about a week before i left for University... She told me she already knew... fancy that? She could have told me... lol... I've come out to all my friends - majority laughing in disbelief more than anything but all were awesome. As for my family, that will be a long time coming. I know i have to eventually pluck up the courage to be 100% honest with my parents but that will be full of tears and heartache. They've found out a couple of times during the 6 years and have basically told me they would disown me if i chose to live that life. Well, i do live that life now and am ready to live with the consequences. Gray
I realized I was gay when I was 11 and vowed never to come out because I thought it would mean losing everything. Which turned out to not be true at all. I finally came out to my roommate in college two weeks into my first year. I couldnt even get the words out, but she guessed and said that she already knew. Gradually I came out to more and more people and at the tiny liberal arts school I attended, it was really no big deal. When I finally came out to my sorority sisters, they all told me they had already known ( once you tell one.....) and proceeded to feel me up and vow to find me the perfect girl. All of my close friends from high school turned out to be queer too, or super queer friendly. and oh yeah, I have two supergay siblings. so basically, coming out was as good as I could have hoped.
well, i havent come out to my parents yet, but we are your typical distant Asian family and personal matters are never discussed. but i think the topic will come up soon when my sister and her girlfriend get pregnant with their first child. I dont think my mother ever imagined all this when she moved us from that tiny village in Lao to the states.
New people I meet nowadays usually are gay. The first person I came out to was a (male) friend of mine who had a huge crush on me... broke the poor guy's heart.. though that didn't stop him from being in love with me still.
The second person I came out to was my brother. He stayed over one night and he was on his airbed talking and talking (with me mumbling a yes and no and aha every now and then seeing as I wanted to sleep) when he suddenlystarted talking about gay people and without looking up I just went "how do you know if I am one or not?" and he was like "uh... what?" and after that it was pretty much "ok cool" and him telling me not to think he was gay just because our aunt is and I am. (silly boy my brother) and reassured him it wasn't the case and that was pretty much it.
The third coming out was to pretty much the entire family when I had put a wayward message on my MSN title telling a guy I was not interested in him because I am gay and kinda forgot that I had my family on there as well. It didn't get discussed until visited one of my nieces later on and she carefully asked me about it and then saying she kinda guessed from the message on my IM. She didn't have a problem with it (nor did the rest of the family), sure wanted to ask me a lot of questions though.
SO yeah, that was pretty much it.
Because Visibility Matters - The AfterEllen.com Fanlisting - http://aefan.alrightstill.net
I worked out that I was gay when I was 11. Obviously I then went into years of denial, however I am in the early stages of coming out (I'm 18 in less than a month, so in no hurry) although the coming out thing has really been taken out of my hands...I came out to my mum twice. the first time it was inadvertently through a letter that I had written should I ever die in an accident. She clearly missed the 'only to be read in the case of my death' scrawled across the front in caps, but never mind! Interestingly enough this probably coincided with my telling of my friend on a plane to Edinburgh. I was flying with my school's lacrosse team, however I am terrified of flying and so even though it was a fairly smooth trip I was in a state. When I had finally worked myself up so much that I was convinced the plane would go down (I am usually a very reasonable person I may add), I turned to my friend and mouthed that I was gay. She was more amazing than I had expected, which was so nice.Unfortunately, a couple of days later I told my best friend at the time (we were like sisters). I had not intended to tell my friend on the plane and felt that really it should have been my best friend. Needless to say, it shouldn't have. She took it really badly and I later learnt that it took her all of five minutes after I told her, to get on the phone and start telling people. Even worse, this was January, I only found out that everyone knew in June. She goes to another school, so EVERYONE knew. My current best friend found out from her in March, so knew when I finally had the guts to tell her in December! the second time I came out to my mum was after i found out everyone knew and that was fine. The worst thing she did, was for my birthday last year (when she knew, but i didn't know that she knew) was she bought me The L word season one DVD. Seriously, I almost had a heart attack. How to terrify your closeted daughter!So even though every one 'knows' I have that grueling process whereby I have to confirm it for everyone. So every 'gay' comment I make is scrutinised but I have to come out to them. joy.
i didnt mean to!
well, my SECOND time coming out to a friend was a lot more interesting than the first, though that doesnt say much, because the first friend was also gay and already out and proud. but aaaaanyway....
we were coming home from a movie and somehow the topic of gay people came up. i'd been kinda wanting to talk to her about it for awhile, but was still feeling really hesitant about it.
she's a pretty strong christian believer, but she plays basketball and is pretty open minded. basically it got around to, 'well what do you think about it?' and she basically said, 'well, i couldn't really say because i don't know how they feel, so i guess i can't judge.'
i suddenly found myself blurting out, 'well, i could tell you.....cause i'm gay.' she was just like, 'really?' and i said, 'yeah, pretty much.' lol. i kinda freaked out afterward(mostly because i honestly couldn't believe i'd just blurted it out like that), but she seemed okay with it, so whatever.
coming out after being married...
I first came out two years ago to my sister after I began a relationship with my current partner. It was uncomfortable for me because I am divorced with 2 little girls and I was so concerned about being juged. I Had told my best friend about the relationship prior to telling my sister-not expecting the backlash that would ensue, so I was extremely cautious when telling my family. My dad still doesn't know-at least I haven't confirmed it for him yet, but the rest of my siblings and my mom know. I'm sure they have a lot of ?'s seeing as how I was married and had 2 kids in that relationship but I just don't know if I want to explain or if I should. Advice here would be great...
Complicated situation / Uncomplicated coming out story
My situation: I knew I was gay from way back... I just didn't identify as such until I met my partner. I met my partner while studying Mandarin Chinese in Taiwan. My partner didn't even know she was gay until she met me (Yes, we're both "gold stars".). People are always surprised when I tell them that my partner was the one who told me that she fancied me (more than a friend).
Coming out: It was a no-brainer for everyone. Friends back home assumed we were a couple from photos and when they first met her on her first visit to my country. They finally asked me just to confirm. My brother said he knew it the first time he met her (also on her first visit to my country). Recently, he asked me if we plan to have kids.Since were both in a foreign country (or state, if you're going to be political about it) we both decided to leave Taiwan and go back to our own countries. We were there for 6 years studying, then working (purpose was to be together).
We now have a little import/export business. My partner hopes that within a few years, we will have enough money to get me an investor visa. This way, I can move to her country permanently. This is going to involve hard work on my partner's part in getting the paperwork done and going through all that red tape. She also has some issues with her church... being head of church youth activities and interpreter on weekly services. In the meantime, I'm stuck here hoping that I can be with her before I'm "bloody fifty."
I don't remember exaclty how I came out to my parents. It was over dinner. Dad was surprisingly ok with it. Mom was in denial for quite a while and asked strange questions like, "What do you guys do?" and "What do you want me to do with that information?"
HAHAHA
Oops
What your mom said
Abty888, what your mom asked you is actually pretty funny too!
Mine
I guess... well, I don't just have ONE coming out story, cause I first came out to my friends from school, then to my mom, and then to my friends in college.
The funniest/saddest one, was when I came out to my mom. My first girlfriend ever, had just broke up with me (I was 15), and I was at home with my mom. I wanted to cry and all, but I couldn't without my mom asking me what had happened. And it was hard for me, because my mom knew my ex and they liked each other. I simply went to her room and laid in her bed and hugged her and started to cry. My mom asked me why I was crying, and without really wanting to, I told her it was because I broke up with my girlfriend. She looked at me and said:"your... your what??" "My girlfriend ma... (name)" "soo... what are you? a lesbian? are you bi or what?" "I don't know ma, I guess I'm a lesbian" "oh ok... you want me to go punch her in the face for hurting you???" I said no, and then we laughed a while, she hugged me and told me we couldn't tell my dad, cause then he'd have a heart attack xD I still haven't told him, hehe...
Pre-Calculus, friends, and sin
Well, it turns out everyone knew I was gay before I knew it. For instance, the frist girl to pick up on it was four years ago; she asked me out, I flipped, and didn't speak to her again. I regret this know because she was a catch. The second girl was the first one I had a crush on, just never realised it until two years later. Okay, now I've set the backdrop to my story. My junior year, two years ago... I was still a good christian girl who liked Orlando Bloom and had had more bf's than I could count. One class ruined this. There was a new teacher and I was fascinated with her, at least that's what I wished to believe. After several classes and alot of my attention, I could tell you no more about Math than I could about the properties of an atom. What I could tell you is how nicely that shirt fit her. Finally, my best friend had enough and said "Just face it, you're a lesbian!" She said it jokingly but it opened my eyes. So I guess my first coming out really wasn't by my mouth but someone else's.
I was, however, forced to come out to my little brother my senior year. He was a freshman and it was inevitable that he'd find out anyways. At the time, I was seeing this girl named Amber and she came up to me one day complaining about my brother flirting with her. This just wasn't right. So, the next day I locked him in the car and drove up the interstate at 90 miles an hour (so he couldn't flee) and told him he couldn't flirt with Amber anymore. He asked why, and I replied that I was. His emotions went from shock, to grief, to "sweet". Boys will be boys.
I still haven't gotten round to the parents... but that story will be full of tears and blood so it may be awhile.
coming out story
i only came out to one of my friends yet...well one of my friends here in germany, in australia sum more know it, but i havent told anyone over here yet ( apart from her)..it was actually really weird, we were shopping in cologne n we were talking in english ( she was on excahnge in canada n i was in australia) n all of a sudden i blurted out : im gay...n not the happy, jolly kind of gay. n she said, oh ok..n then we talked bout other stuff...i didnt know if she really got me but then she asked when i first noticed n i told her n we talked bout it for quite a while.. she was totally cool with it....im still not totally sure if im gay or bi tho...doesnt matter.
i think i wont come out to my parents for quite a while...
Coming out over and over again
I am already out to nearly everyone I know, and aside from my parents and some historically narrow-minded extended family members, everyone has been thoroughly supportive. But while my parents know I'm a lesbian, they are conservative Christians and believe that I am by choice, and if given different surroundings, I will choose differently (read: better). I have no guilt about who I am. It is only since I realized I was gay at 19 that I have begun to feel like a whole human being. I am complete now--completely me, and that gives me a baseline happiness that gets me through the other troublesome parts of my life.
My mother called this morning. She wants me to go to this Baptist megachurch and tell her what it was like. She doesn't seem to know me at all; sexuality aside, there has never been a day in my life, even while a member of a church, that I was also a believer. I stayed to make people happy. For the last ten years, I have been studying Buddhism, and the two years I spent in Thailand have only spurred me further towards taking up authentic practice. This year, I have. I even have a small altar in my apartment to help me focus when I meditate and pray.
I have no place in a Baptist church. I do not want to remake the world in my image as they seem to. I just want to live a quiet, honest life without interference. Long story short, in lieu of attending above church, I will be writing a letter to my parents explaining for the umpteenth time why I am not going and why I won't set foot in one except for the wedding of a friend or relative. They already know who I am; now comes the time that they must also realize it. Wish me luck.
"Better than a thousand useless words is one word that brings us peace."
--The Dhammapada
Coming out...
I am 21 years old, about 5'2" inches tall, and I love women. I had my first experience with a girl when I was 17. She was gorgeous and I truly thought we were in love. Until she started dating a guy... and talked about marrying him. Dah, high school. Oh yeah... this was during my freshman year in college, and whenever I came home, she would "seduce" me and take advantage of the fact that I was still head over heels for her. It broke my heart, so I decided to steer clear of that side of my life for a while. And I did a pretty good job of it. I held down good jobs, continued going to school, didn't date much. I just tried to get my life back into my own control.
That was before I met the girl I have been on-again-off-again with for a year and a half. I met her through my sorority (yeah girls, eat your hearts out, I'm in a sorority) and we just kind of hit it off immediately. I finally told her that I liked her one night after a long day. She went to her bedroom and we layed on her bed and I kissed her... and to my surprise she kissed me back. And the rest is history. Because of this relationship, I've come out to my older sister (awkward), my little brother and a few friends (two of them want to be with me now that they are sure I am gay... nice, huh?) I am still scared to tell my parents, and some of the girls in my sorority, or other people around, but sometime I will. Right now, I am just taking my time, loving the woman I love with all of my heart, and being me. I would say just figure out who you are, and don't let anyone tell you different.
Lookin' for love in ALL the wrong places!I know what that is like.....
Yeah i know what that is like to come out over & over & over again....i work in a kindergarten & by the end of every year i have to come out to several of my students parents purely because i build a close rapport with most of them over the year & i live in a small town so they see me get picked up everyday by my gf, or they see me out at the shops always with Naomi my gf.....but i have to say the funniest part about it is that every year i have at least two parents &/or work colleages confess some kind of attraction to me....most straight, married & curious ....i think the fact that i look like the girl next door makes it easier for them to justify the feelings they have......just guessing?????
Luckly for me i have a very trusting gf.....she loves to tell the stories of my crushes....like the time i she found a pair of womens underpants....bonds boyleg, size 8....in a plastic bag with the videos i had lent to a girl from work......but that is just the beginning of some odd shit that i have encountered....
Coming out
Coming out to my friends was easier then what I thought! When I came out, all my friends were straight, and I did not give them the credit they actually deserved, lol. I was convinced they were going to make a huge deal out of it, and they were all 100% fine… With my family t was the exact opposite.
My relationship with my mom has always been troubled.. She is bipolar, and since about 12 I was “the adult” in the house. Because of that we were always more friends than mother and daughter, and I had always been open and honest with her, and considered my mom one of the most accepting people I knew. Well, it turns out that was only applicable to “other peoples children”, lol and when I finally came to terms with my sexual orientation, I went to her fully trusting she would be the one person who would understand, then all hell broke lose! Lol It was awful, the insults ranged from mentally ill, to “I would have preferred you being a prostitute”, and so on… It lasted a month and I moved out and in with my girlfriend. The night I moved out, my mom attempted suicide (I am convinced it was to get me back into the house, and away from my “evil path”, lolol). For a month we had a power struggle, and when she finally came to terms with the fact that there was really nothing she can do about it, she calmed down, and finally accepted it. My father on the other hand just chooses to ignore it, and despite having been told by me, still asks me when am I going to get married (to a man obviously).
It was a surprise and, at the same time, a relief. It taught me a lot about the reality of my relationship with my parents and what actually does matter in life.Wow, I'd forgotten about all this stuff
My coming out story is ongoing lol, I think my mother will always be a little bit in denial, but my dad's just hasn't made a big deal, and has tried to understand, but whatever, you wanna hear the story....
O.k, so I've always known I was gay, I look back at stuff and laugh at some REALLY gay memories, and it got to the point where I met a girl who made me feel things like nothing else, you know that first moment of raw physical attraction combined with the body language jive....damn, well, she was bi and she encouraged me to be honest about myself. I thought about life long and hard for a couple of months, then one day I sat down with my mum, and a LARGE glass of wine (or several lol) and told her. Initially she reacted pretty well, no anger no tantrums but I've always had comments about how I should be with a certain male friend or whatever (OMG BTW who else hates the "You just need the right man to straighten you out") anyway, about 4 years after my come out, I got back in touch with the girl who'd helped me and we hooked up for a while. We've since split up, but the moral of the story is kiddies....if you don't succeed at first...etc...lol
Peace and Love!
...
Edit
My coming out story not yet done
My story is an ongoing one. Im still not completly out to my whole family but still. I had always had the doubt of wether or not i liked girls and then i met this bi girl who liked me an then i realized i liked girls..never did anything with her because she moved and i had a two year boyfreind at the moment. SO i came out to my best friend and he couldnt believe it but he loves it although he says it sucks for him because he will never have a chance to get with me. My mom was second to know and she took it really good but she told me not tell the family just yet. When i get a gf though then im telling. Then came school which was this year and i basically said fuck it and told everyone and since rumors in my school spread faster than a disease i was out in about a couple of days.
Comming out stories
I came out to my sister
I came out to my sister first, then one of my friends, and then my dad.
I had had a crush on a girl from school for about 2 years. she was charming, beautiful, intelligent, and most of all she was the only open lesbian at school at the time. problem was, she didn't even know me. i was too shy to talk to her (in the end she went to uni and i haven't seen her since) but eventually the pain got too much and i had to tell someone. me and my sister were sat in the kitchen and we got onto the subject of this guy who had a crush on me. my sister ansked me if i'd ever go out with him. i said no and then she asked if a had a crush on anyone. i burst into tears (at which point my sister thought she's REALY offended me LOL) and just blurted out that i'm gay. my sister was fine about it. i told my friend by letter, which i left in her desk LOL, i'm a total chicken i know. when i told my dad he went through stages. almost like grief LOL. at first he was OK, then minutes later he'd changed his mind. he cried on and off for several days, then he didn't talk to me for a week (and barely looked at me) then just didsn't mention it for months untill we were in the car one day and he just said 'do you still like girls' i said yes and that was about that. now he just doesn't mention it but i'm fine with that because at least he's not crying.
o wow, i love to hear other
o wow, i love to hear other peoples stories, mine isnt quite as thrilling a tale.
i was dating this lovely guy. he was charming, attractive, funny and he loved me. which made me wonder why everytime he said those 3 killer words "i love you" id make a joke or change the subject. i guess i sorta felt that maybe that was all love was..really likeing someone. the lightening bolts etc were just over dramatised. there was no reason i could think why i wouldnt love him. he was every girls dream and maybe quite afew blokes aswell.. just not a gay girls ideal match.
then i met hayley, i bumped into her in the dark room at college.. i was smitten. she was in the year above and i only really ever saw her in photography, i spend my days just hoping to get a glimps of her. then one day me and my friends were trying to decide what dish we dared try from the canteens potentialy deadly food, when i hear from behind me "got 2 50p for a pound" (its the dialog of every great novel) i didnt have those coins but we did strike up a conversation. which ended several hours later with the words "you are gay right"
coming out for me was one of the hardest things but looking back it was a breeze, i cried and cried to my mother and said words that theres no going back on "mum im gay" to which she replied "thank god i thought you were pregnant or something.. guess i wont have to worry about that anymore"
I think my favorite was when
I think my favorite was when I came out to my friend. The story about coming out to my Mom isn't that great, so I'm going to share this one.
It was the beginning of 8th grade, and I didn't have any friends. =( I was lonely and what not. And then, suddenly, this girl Morgan started talking to me. At this point, I already knew I was bisexual, but I hadn't told ANYONE.
So I started hanging around this girl Morgan, and her friends, one of whom was Mary (Mary is now an out and proud lesbian - back then, not so much).
I was staying the night at Morgan's house, and she said "Out of all of our friends, who do you think could be bi?" =) I thought I was totally caught, so I named our friend Evyn (stereotypical tomboy, so what the hell, why not throw her name out?).
Then she laughed (Evyn might be the straightest girl ever) and said that it was Mary. Then I just replied, "Oh, that's cool, me too."
And suddenly, I was out. =O Best part was, my friends didn't care, and Morgan and I are still best friends today.
There it is, the most tedious story ever. =P
Today, I am especially
Today, I am especially thankful for all the friends that I have. I came out to my housemates (3 of them) a few weeks ago, and they have been nothing but supportive. Even as much as talking to me about which girls i find hot, sex etc etc.... Anyways, I wanted to tell another 2 friends of mine but I wasn't so sure and it took me a while to sum up the courage to do so. I told them yesterday night. I think I must have been blessed with amazing friends because the both of them were REALLY COOL about it, and one of them said i was SO SILLY to think that she would not be okay with me being gay.
So yes, I thank god (or whoever) for the wonderfulness of having the friends that I do. I know that there will be other people out there who may not want to accept me for who I am, but I know I'll be okay, because I have my friends. To everyone else thinking of coming out, I can only hope that your friends will be as accepting as mine have. Good luck!
p.s. My parents don't know :D
"so you want sex with women then?"
Coming out blues
I was in heavy denial about my sexuality, still am from time to time, until my first semester of college. There was the MOST ADORABLE girl I'd ever seen in my life who lived down the hall from me. I'd always make it a point to walk by her room (creepy) or go to the same parties. We triple kissed with some random guy once, highlight of my semester. I knew that moment it was for sure.
I came out to my friends from home which was a little rocky, since a few of them didn't take me seriously at first, and one of them freaked out. I waited a whole other year to truly come out to my friends at school. I was very drunk and demanded my one friend come to my dorm at 4 AM, and when she got there I burst out into tears and told her I hate being with guys (I was going through a very slutty stage) and that I was probably a lesbian. She was great about it, but accidently outted me to our other friends. It isn't something thats ever discussed, I feel like because they can't relate (sober) so I don't know what I can say without making them uncomfortable and they don't want to make ME uncomfortable, so they still discuss guys with me. Like I care. I've never had a gf and its as though people won't see it as legit until I do, and continue to consider me confused. I'm not confused, just stuck in my straight world of straight friends.
I have a "date" with a guy friend tomorrow night who doesn't know yet, that'll be a fun conversation to have. I hate coming out.
yet to come out!!!
you girls r lucky to be Able to Come Out
Reading these stories makes me Wish I could come out to Everyone in my Life. But i Cant some of my friends know but not all of them(some wouldnt understand or agree wit it or maybe not even believe me) n on the Parent front I would basically loose my entire family because there old fashioned n i guess u can say relgious( They dont believ or like gays) i know close minded but u only get one family right? (n u dont choose them) My mom would disown me agian( for like the 3rd time) n then id probably never be able to see my siblings or anyone else in my Family. keeping this a secret for so long has Gutted me for years but i guess now ive just come to terms wit it that my family can never know. But then i think how am i gonna have a serious or semi serious relationship if the girl im wit is open n im not, like is she going to be able to deal wit it that it has to be on the down low wit certain people in my life. I grew up in a pretty big/ small at same time city were i couldnt come out. I use to have the biggest crush on this girl that worked at the gym i always use to go to( and she had one on me to) but i could nevr do anything only because I was SHy as hell around her its like i became a diffrent person n 2 thinking about my family n what would happen if we got caught. I know alot of u might me thinking who cares its ur life if they cant except u then screw them but its not that simple, I never had a good relationship wit my family in fact for 3 year in never spoke or saw them but recently we reconsiled and things r going good 4 the first time in my life i dont wanna ruin it. But luckily i moved to another country far from them so i do have a little space for me. If ill ever open up to them who knows.
this is how i felt about the girl i Liked but could never tell her:
Last night i couldn't even get an answer,
I tried to call,
But my pride wouldn't let me dial,
And i'm sittin' here...with this blank expression,
And the way i feel,
I wanna curl up like a child.
I need you,
And you need me,
This is so plain to see,
And i will never let you go and i will always love you so..i will..
If you could only see your heart belongs to me,
I love you so much,
I'm yearin' for your touch,
Come and set me free,
Forever yours i'll be,
Baby won't you come and take this pain awayay
Three times a charm...
I came out to my mom maybe three times, yeah I finally became specific the third time. And just recently came out to two of my best friends which I wish I would of done a lot earlier, but things happen for a reason and I believe very much in timing. Telling my best bud since grade school was a bit emotional and I hate crying in public but she was so cool about it and now wants to find me a girlfriend haha. I told my other buddy over drinks yeah I know what a great enviroment to share something so life altering but the next day we had coffee and talked things out and we had a great conversation funny but great. Telling my best guy friend was pretty easy ok well not that easy but he was very "guy" about it yet he wants me to be happy no matter who it's with and I love them all for that. Coming out I feel is a process, that even intails coming out to yourself. You don't have to label yourself right away I know I didn't but you'll grow to love being honest with those close with you.
First day of my final year
a long haul
The only person i have officially come out to was my sister. We went for a run one day which was only supposed to be like 3 miles and I was going to have surgery and really wanted to get it off my chest. So I told her and the 3 mile run turned into an almost 14 mile(and no im not exaggerating) walk where she told me she thought it was just a phase and i would get over it and that i was too young to make that kind of decision anyways. It wasn't exactly the response i was hoping for so i held off on telling the rest of my family and friends.
It all started in late 2003,
It all started in late 2003, when me and my best friend started discussing some musician she liked, who was bisexual. And we were all like how that's really practical, because why limit yourself to only half of the population?
And over the next weeks I was sort of... becoming acquainted with the whole being gay/bi business, and I realized that mayyybe I'm not that straight after all. I had simply never questioned it. And so I kinda came out to my best friend but we never actually discussed it. It was really complicated, because we sometimes talk endlessly about something without ever calling it by its name.
And no sooner had I come to terms with everything, I found myself completely in love with a girl from my class. She was so beautiful and I still miss her sometimes. (She went to England for a year and I left school and I never saw her again.)
I came out to my parents on October 11th last year. Because it was Coming Out Day and I felt silly like that. It was one night before my birthday and I sat my parents down and rambled on and on and on and on about all kinds of stuff, I remember talking about Sherlock Holmes at one point, which is really odd. And they were all, are we done soon? And I was like, no no no no wait.
And then I said, "I'm kinda queer." And they were like, "The what now?" And I was like, "Well, I'm... not straight?" And then I quoted a marvellous phrase I had read somewhere earlier that day: "I really love boys, I just don't want to see them naked." And then they finally got it, while I was squirming in my seat like a fish on dry land. And my mother was like, "O...kay?" And my father said that he totally wouldn't mind if I brought a pretty girl home, and my mother kicked him under the table, and then he started saying that maybe I was just lacking experience, and before he could insinuate that "it's just a phase" and I told them that it's most definitely not a pahse, because I've known for three years.
And I asked them not to tell anyone, because, you never know. My mother has a really big mouth sometimes, and I hate all of my parents' friends, so. And my mother said that she and my father were completely fine with it and everyone else could just screw themselves, couldn't they. And I don't think I've ever loved my parents more than in that moment.
I also asked them if they had ever suspected and they said no. "Not even when I mentioned that I want to marry Pink?" - "Uhm... no?"
What mostly triggered it was my mother constantly trying to play matchmaker for me. She'd come home and tell me that one of her friends has a son and he's my age and really good looking and totally my type... And I'd be like, "I have a type?" And after I had come out I'd half expected her to constantly provide me with potential girlfriends, but no such luck. She still does the thing, "...and the aunt of the brother of the wife has a son, and he plays guitar, just like you!" And then my father goes, "Does he maybe have a daughter?"
I'm also out to most people I know online, which is about 100% easier than doing it in real life. Possibly because you don't have to watch them watch you blush and stutter.
I think
I think my most memorable coming-out was when I started in a new school last fall.
There was this round when everyone tells who they are, where they're from etc. When it was my turn, I said I come from the other side of the country and that I now live in the countryside in an old house. The teacher immediately asked: "...so you've got a boyfriend here! A-haaa!" I just replied: "..actually it's a girlfriend."
For a moment in the classroom you could have heard a pin drop. Then the teacher bursted: "Oooohh!!!! That's sooo great!!!! Congratulations!!! ...Yeah!!..cool!" There seemed to be no end to it.
I was like...OK. I had been going out with my girl for over a year already :-)
I just smiled on, but my heart bounced madly. It was our first day in school, and I had already come out at once to all of the people I would be studying and working with for the next four years. What if they hated me? I didn't even know their names yet!
It really cannot be any easier to come out! And in the end everything went so well, my class is the best. And the teachers are nice too. I think the teacher in question was later a little bit ashamed for her "over-reaction", but it just makes me laugh now.
Didn't want to be stereotypical, SO
Kinda funny (in a "silly me" sorta way): I came out to my mom close to the holidays...actually, I was VERY aware that I was being stereotypical by thinking of coming out on Thanksgiving Day, so, because I'm clever as a cat, I waited till 12:15a.m. on the following day to wake my mom up and tell her. Dodged a bullet there! LOL
Definitely Unexpected: When I told my mom, she turned it around and came out to me...turns out she's bisexual, and my oh-so-sharp gaydar missed it. Huh. Oops.
Unplanned!
On the weekend I was at my Sister-In-Laws birthday party and she asked do you have a boyfriend - NO - then do you have a girlfriend I didnt say yes but she could tell by the look on my face. She said that she suspected it since I was always hanging out with "B". Then she got upset that I hadnt told her earlier, I just didnt know what to say. I feel so relieved even thought I wasnt planning on telling her.
I have a rule
That no matter who it is....if it was my boss, my grandma, my dad, my best friend, my brother...if they straight up, honestly ask me....are you gay? (actually it usually goes like this "shorty what's your deal? are you gay or something?" lol) I will always give them an honest answer...but sometimes I'll tell them afterwards...but don't tell people...if someone that doesn't know I'm gay hears it from someone else its always kinda weird, especially since some random people I know know that I am, still some of my best friends that I would feel totally comfortable coming out to dont know...but that's cuz they've never asked lol. When you dont feel the NEED to do it, why do it? Especially in the situation I'm in, sometimes when someone asks me it's like they already knew they just want to know if i'll tell em the truth...or I'll come out to someone and they're like "yeaaah....and?" haha like everyone already knows and they're chill with it
reading a lot of these stories makes me so thankful for my family, cuz likethey say, u cant choose your family, if i had friends that weren't ok with who i was, they wouldn't be my friends, but u cant do that with family. And by family I mean the few close members I have, my dad, my two bros, my sister in law, my brother in law and my nieces...and the world will have ended before I flat out tell my grandparents..of course unless they ask me.
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"Valentine's Day's coming? Aw crap! I forgot to get a girlfriend again!"- Fry
i just had the funniest, n
i just had the funniest, n kinda dumbest (on my part) comin out....at hockeytraining i decided that it was time to tell a girl ive known for ages that i was gay. while running we talked n talked n talked. it kinda went like that:
me:well...you know, i dont like kai (my ex bf, from my denial stage^^)too much
her: i figured that
me: yeah, but for different reasons that u might think
her: as in...?
me:well, its nothin personal, more general...
her: is he missin sumthin?
me: yes...i guess u could say that
her: what??
me: boobs
her:muscles?
me: no, boobs
her: do u like girls?( then she started laughin...i was like, shit, why the hell is she laughin??)
me: well, yes....i just thought u should know cos we do gymnastics together n u might wanna be aware of me...^^ (that WAS a joke!!)
her: oh ok...thats cool...u know, u could have just told me...
and that was pretty much it, she just asked the "usual" questions but was more than fine with it....and yes i know that i tend to complicate every situation....but i just wasnt sure how to say it so i tried to just slowly get there....so theres one less to tell...^^
Oh man. Well, I realized
Well, I realized that I was gay when I was a freshman in high school. All of the signs were there, and eventually I just came to terms with it.
Later on that year, I came out to my straight best friend (who I had only known for a few months at that point) and she was not even remotely surprised. She had suspected it the whole time, and it was very funny. She was very supportive though, and to this day she is still my biggest advocate.
After that, I went crazy and pretty much came out to the whole school. It turned out to be a very bad idea, because it was a very small rural school full of conservative christian bigots. I basically just attempted to piss everyone off, and I became very militant about it. But, I was young it and seemed like a good idea at the time.
So, the whole school (and town for that matter) knows, and I have faced a lot of opposition, but my friends are very cool about it.
As far as my family... I have told my a few of my cousins that I am close with, but they live across the country so I don't see them much. Other than them, I have told no one in my family, especially my parents. They are religious fundamentalists and it would not go over well. I am not looking forward to that conversation. They suspect it though, so they have just been in denial I guess.
hmm
I'm not completely out to my entire family out, but my brother and most of my close friends all know. I don't even want to imagine my my parents would do/say if I came out to them ><" Conservative asian parents... *shudder* even my brother had a majorly hard time accepting it.... anywhooo I think I had the easiest first coming out :P
I was chatting to my best friend online and out of nowhere she tells me she's gay... I was like oh... ME TOO :D I had suspected she was gay, but apparently I shocked the hell out of her. We had a good laugh about it the next day at school... :P
Took a lot...
Even though I kissed a lot of girls, despised all my boyfriends, and was mostly friends with gay/bi people, I'd never let myself think I was gay, because, well, I just couldn't be. So when people went to me "oh you're so gay, you're such a lesbian" I was like nope, fraid not.
And then I started counting how many people questioned my sexuality, and how often I had to deny it, and realised in about 3 days, 7 different people had asked me about my sexuality, and then I thought the obvious question "well, am I?" And obv. it was a yes.
So then my gay/bi friends were like "so on a scale of 1-10, how gay or straight are you?", 1 being totally straight, 10 being totally gay. And when we got to me I just said "oh, I'm such a 10..." and from there I started coming out properly.
I was shoved out, by a
I was shoved out, by a person that sat with me at lunch. She was talking about how all her friends were gay, bi, or wicca. Or a combination of the three.
She asked me, and I kind of muttered an answer. She didn't push that hard, but I felt bad about not telling the truth. So, in a way, I was relieved when the next day, she when around the table asking everyone.
And that time, I told them. And preceded to have a panic attack. XD
None of them minded, and many were upset with the fact that she made Amy and I uncomfortable with being on the spot like that.
Since then, I've told people slowly, as they ask, or as I feel necessary.
I have had some interesting conversations with people who assume I'm straight, though.
You're such a lesbo
Yeah they say it all the time, my friends who don't really know but kinda do
Then someone will sarcastically say "yeah cuz shorty is SUCH a lesbian"
and i'm like hehe yeah...
then people will ask me if i'm a lesbian
and my honest answer will be "no"
cuz
I'm bi
I just sometimes dont clear that up after I say "no" lol unless it's someone that i've been waiting to tell
It's funny how many people I dont tell because they don't ask...cuz they're either uncomfortable with that question, they already somewhat "know" or for some reason they're convinced i'm completely straight,which...if you hung out with me for 10 minutes you'd think those people were crazy
but alot of times I just want people to ask, cuz for me it's more uncomfortable to just be like "yeah I want to tell u somethin"
Like my best friend(guy) had a girlfriend for about 2 years and apparently they had been broken up for about a month and i didnt know. The only way I did know was randomly at dennys when a friend asked "so how are you and alia?" which for some reason i never cared to ask my best friend (cuz i'm a bitch like that i guess) and he's like "we broke up" and im like WHAT?! why didnt you say so?! and he says "cuz you didn't ask...whats the point in randomly just saying hey shorty me and alia broke up it'd be kinda awkward"
and now i understand ...and that's kinda my philosophy on things too
------------------
"Valentine's Day's coming? Aw crap! I forgot to get a girlfriend again!"- Fry
Hm
and now i understand ...and that's kinda my philosophy on things too
This does not really make any sense to me. Because someone didn't ask that means that the other person should not volunteer information? 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' in a friendship/relationship? I'm not sure that's quite healthy..
my coming out story
hmmm
I lived on the streets, lost my job, got beaten up a few times, and other nice stuff... then when things got better, I picked myself up and dusted myself off and started to climb out of the mess... I would go into detail, but I prefer to simply let sleeping dogs lie. It was a difficult time, though it taught me a lot, and that I can survive anything, even hunger, having no place to live, and being attacked viciously,not being able to shower, change my clothes, learning how to fight with a knife and so on... I also learned the fine art of letting go, so my stories are simply stories, not rehashes of bitter memories...
I own my own home now, and am successful, but I would not wish my coming out on someone I despised, let alone someone I liked...
I was outed by a lover, which did not help, so believe me when I tell you, whoever needs to know, it is better they know from you, versus a secondary source...
Oh and, whatever is going on, it will pass...no matter how bad it is, most bridges can be rebuilt, if the people involved want it, and time is given for things to heal...
For what I can recall...
it was on a new year's party at my aunt's.
I had pumped myself up all day long with those resolutions, making changes, fresh start etc. feelings and I was so sure I was going to have the balls to tell my sister.
But when the time came... there goes balls or whatever girls use.
So I decided to pump me up with something a little more eloquent than optimism.... alcohol. And I did a great job. I pumped like no tomorrow... which when I woke up the next day I wish it'd been true... but anyway, it worked. I managed to tell her.
And from then on I not only never had a drink again but was also able to come out much more easily. Best friends and mom already done, now I'm working on the big ones, whole family and tough-ass dad.
But I'm pretty optimistic about it =D.
To be in the world but not to belong to it
my story isn't very old
my story isn't very old
MY coming out story....
My coming out story is quite similar to generalpicture. I was brought up in quite a strict christian household, with every little thing monitored to curb 'sin'. At about 15/16 years old i started to have these feelings that made no sense to me. I saw my girlfriends in a new light and fancied the pants off my English teacher, but didn't or even couldn't tell anyone. About two years later, having dated a few men in the process, I realised that i couldn't change it- the feelings weren't going anywhere. I eventually plucked up the courage to tell a close girlfriend how i felt and what was going on about a week before i left for University... She told me she already knew... fancy that? She could have told me... lol... I've come out to all my friends - majority laughing in disbelief more than anything but all were awesome. As for my family, that will be a long time coming. I know i have to eventually pluck up the courage to be 100% honest with my parents but that will be full of tears and heartache. They've found out a couple of times during the 6 years and have basically told me they would disown me if i chose to live that life. Well, i do live that life now and am ready to live with the consequences. Gray
'No-one else can speak the words on your lips...'
coming out process
I realized I was gay when I was 11 and vowed never to come out because I thought it would mean losing everything. Which turned out to not be true at all. I finally came out to my roommate in college two weeks into my first year. I couldnt even get the words out, but she guessed and said that she already knew. Gradually I came out to more and more people and at the tiny liberal arts school I attended, it was really no big deal. When I finally came out to my sorority sisters, they all told me they had already known ( once you tell one.....) and proceeded to feel me up and vow to find me the perfect girl. All of my close friends from high school turned out to be queer too, or super queer friendly. and oh yeah, I have two supergay siblings. so basically, coming out was as good as I could have hoped.
well, i havent come out to my parents yet, but we are your typical distant Asian family and personal matters are never discussed. but i think the topic will come up soon when my sister and her girlfriend get pregnant with their first child. I dont think my mother ever imagined all this when she moved us from that tiny village in Lao to the states.
I think I had to come out
I think I had to come out multiple times...
New people I meet nowadays usually are gay. The first person I came out to was a (male) friend of mine who had a huge crush on me... broke the poor guy's heart.. though that didn't stop him from being in love with me still.
The second person I came out to was my brother. He stayed over one night and he was on his airbed talking and talking (with me mumbling a yes and no and aha every now and then seeing as I wanted to sleep) when he suddenlystarted talking about gay people and without looking up I just went "how do you know if I am one or not?" and he was like "uh... what?" and after that it was pretty much "ok cool" and him telling me not to think he was gay just because our aunt is and I am. (silly boy my brother) and reassured him it wasn't the case and that was pretty much it.
The third coming out was to pretty much the entire family when I had put a wayward message on my MSN title telling a guy I was not interested in him because I am gay and kinda forgot that I had my family on there as well. It didn't get discussed until visited one of my nieces later on and she carefully asked me about it and then saying she kinda guessed from the message on my IM. She didn't have a problem with it (nor did the rest of the family), sure wanted to ask me a lot of questions though.
SO yeah, that was pretty much it.
Because Visibility Matters - The AfterEllen.com Fanlisting - http://aefan.alrightstill.net
kinda didn't have a choice
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