Issit necessary for a south east asia group here? Sounds like discrimination to me unless you give good explanation, girl. Well, unless AfterEllen forum is not for Asians.
well jeez, i just thought that it would provide some representation since there's a thread for vietnam, france, italy, and various regions and countries. it's not discrimination, sometimes there are members who'd like to meet other members from the same region/country. i'd be more than happy to delete it if others feel that way.
I completely agree with msgulp that this is an important group. For me, it is important first and foremost to see the full reach of AfterEllen.com, especially in parts of the world where LGBT issues and communities have even more of an uphill battle for acceptance than we do. I am not from Southeast Asia, but it was while I was living in Thailand that I discovered the website, and it was a great source ofcomfort and inspiration during the two years I spent there as a Peace Corps Volunteer. My ex is Thai and still lives there; I am the first woman she ever fell for, and while that was a source of contention the entire time we were together, it would be comforting to know that this website and community would be available to her should she ever need it. She needs to know that there people here like her, that she would recognize. It would make it much easier for her to accept the reality of our relationship and her feelings about me.
And aside from the personal reasons listed above, Southeast Asia is an often stereotyped, misunderstood part of the world. It is one of the most linguistically, culturally, and religiously diverse areas of our planet. There are more languages and dialects spoken in Indonesia alone than there are in the whole of Africa, and nearly every major world religion is well represented in SE Asia. AfterEllen allows us a forum to represent the best of us, and to show the world watching who we really are. This is the best place for Southeast Asians to gather, not the worst. What they learn from each other teaches us all.
"Better than a thousand useless words is one word that brings us peace."
ysubassoon, that's well said. I'm Indonesian by birth and blood, but I have a Dutch passport. And I think I understand the question; it's meant to include everyone as opposed to exclude by seperation. Right? We can learn from eachother's differences.
I'm not out to my family in Indonesia (I'm out to my mom and brother and my favorite uncle), but I'm not exactly closeted either... We don't talk about it (not the way "white" people do, but if I were to show up with a woman I'm serious about she'd be welcomed into the family. That much I am sure of.
_ _ _ _ _
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." (Dr. Seuss)
i'm from the west indies , and i speak french , but i'd like to meet lesbians from all over the world since on my island homosexuality is not something you can really talk about :s in guadeloupe we don't have the chance to meet other lesbians and stuff , no gay bar or gay club or whatever ... just a few private parties every two months or something (and always in hidden places )
my english isn't perfect but i'll do my best so feel free to contact me :)
i dont think there's anything wrong with this grouping! and im from singapore. this can help us find others from our region, and if we wish, expand out to individual threads, am i right? for ur statistics, msgulp, there r quite a number of singaporeans on this board.
i'd love to see more prescence (i.e., posts) from south east asians. for example i'm curious as how famous is sylvia tan? did all of you watch be with me, and if the maia ahmad dhani rumors are true or a big deal, blah blah. =) OR you can just argue abt why should there be xiaohai bu ben 3...
are u singaporean or smthg msgulp? i think jack neo is just leeching onhis success to make xiaohai bu ben 3. its crazy. and i jsut googled sylvia tan, so evidently, she isnt really big here. maybe among the older crowd? 'be with me' was kind of a trashy storyline which ended poorly. i do read alot of the posts on the forums, but i dont usually post, am a little lazy to. ahaha.
oh my god!! you cannot be serious.. .. "be with me" is a genius!! from three separate stories that intertwine into one at the end. it sooooo helps to convey the message of the movie by doing that. three different individuals craving for the single same thing.. acceptance. i think it's really smart.. and how it uses lesbianism instead of a hetero relationship (which can sooo easily fit into the plot as well) is really really smart!! it has created some really serious shocking element.. the awareness it has created through tan's employment of dramatic methods - simple amazing!! i really felt the impact and understood what roy was trying to portray and convey. LOVE THE MOVIE!! and definitely NOT TRASHY.
i just watched the trailer for BeWithME and now i really wanna watch it.... i just don't know where :( baring in mind i'm stuck here in the UK and won't be back in SG for at least another good 4 months..
oh my god!! you cannot be serious.. .. "be with me" is a genius!! from three separate stories that intertwine into one at the end. it sooooo helps to convey the message of the movie by doing that. three different individuals craving for the single same thing.. acceptance. i think it's really smart.. and how it uses lesbianism instead of a hetero relationship (which can sooo easily fit into the plot as well) is really really smart!! it has created some really serious shocking element.. the awareness it has created through tan's employment of dramatic methods - simple amazing!! i really felt the impact and understood what roy was trying to portray and convey. LOVE THE MOVIE!! and definitely NOT TRASHY.
hi devushka,
i am not sure if anyone has clarified this yet but BE WITH ME is directed by Eric Khoo, not Royston Tan :)
hi.. im an indonesian, born and live here. i did fortunately find and have a friend lend me 'be with me' dvd. did watch it and love it a lot! the movie is beautiful w/o words. :)
I'm from Indonesia, now living in a (my housemate's term) black hole. I thought the island I used to stay in was remote, boy I was wrong, I'm living in Granby and we are more remote than an island (that island literally had monkeys running around). No TV, no internet, no phone...I live in an employee housing btw...mm...wait, I shouldn't be ranting here...anyway, another Indonesian?
I'm another one from Indonesia. But have been living in Singapore almost half my life now. Getting very used to it. I do go back every now and then. I became a les about 3 years ago cos of a relationship I have and am still having right now. Sadly though, I've not yet come out to any of my friends or families yet. It is a difficult I think, having this kind of relationship in a place whereby gay relationships are not recognised because I do feel a slight twinge of unfairness everytime I walk around on the streets seeing couples holding hands. Well, cos it's something that me n my partner wont often do. Frankly speaking, I don't mind though, showing public affection although no doubt it will attract eyes and whispers. So, I'd always wished that should there be a chance, I'll want to live in a country whereby gay relationships are out everywhere. Mmm..that would be nice.. Btw..I've always thought there will be few of Indonesians who are gay..but apparently I'm rather wrong to assume that..glad to see few Indonesians around here..
Hi to all the Indonesians! Aduh, ku kangen, dong. :)
Am American but grew up in Bandung, and though I live in England now, I go back to Indonesia as often as I can (was there four times last year?). Have done a bit of consulting work with the Indonesian government more recently, and really hope to be able to get a proper job in Jakarta starting late this year!!!
Cool to see Indonesians on here. If you're from there, where specifically? I've always been told I have a logat Sunda. ;) If I move back there, I'll probably end up in Jakarta (though I have relatives in Bandung and Bali).
how many of you actually hang out in places like 'play'(formerly'happy') and other gay places? i dont know, i personally find those places to be kinda trashy and filled to the brim with young punkish or cheena pia butches. anyone wanna shed any light on alternative hangouts?
lol..cheenia pia, i havent heard that in a looong time! where are the gay areas in singapore? I've never been to any before and i'm dying to know where these places are. All i've heard from my friends are zouk n the usual...yawn
I dont know if it´s like this for all south-east asian countries, but in mine you´re etiher butch or a femme... there is nothing in between. You never see two femme together or two butch together (relationship wise). Opinions?
where u from chicky? i guess butch-femme pairings are most popular here coz of the school systems, and those 'passive'(femmes) girls longing search for masculinity. personally, im one of those who prefer femme2femme. if not, i'll just get myself a real man, the real deal. im a dirty bisexual, dont mind me. hah.
i see f2f couples in my place.. femmes can easily be attracted to other femmes. since femmes (i guess are lesbians or bi), they like girly image but it's sometimes difficult to have a straight women fall for them so they'd rather look for another femme.. but i think a butch would prefer a straight woman..most of them try to look/dress boyish as much as they can for a straight woman to be atttracted to them..
* the greatest law is not punishable yet rewarding *
Hey. Actually the city has a lot of gay people, mostly university students, I think. I do have a les friend there, but she's still closeted so sadly she doesn't know any communities. But good luck on finding one, I'm sure there are lots of it there :)
Hello I'm Chinese living in the Philippines. I guess it's the same tradition here- people don't have the guts to come out of the closet- a Chinese daughter's life path is to get good grades in school, graduate, get married and have kids.
I don't exactly have the lifestyle but I can't deny what's inside me. I've been and still in denial, hoping to get out of this "phase" soon. I'm not aggressively finding love bec I'm afraid. I have been disappointed and not reciprocated several time. So I decided to let this journey be just "que sera sera".
I'm visiting Singapore for the first time in June to attend a friend's wedding. I haven't really "come-out" to my friends - I don't know until when will orientation be a puzzle in their minds- they'll just have to guess all their lives.
Hi cogie. Yeah, I really understand what you've been feeling as now I'm in the same phase. Though my family doesn't force me to be a good girl, get good grades and marry someone someday, but of course, being homosexual in an Asian family is hard.
The funny thing is, I'm also like you, not finding love because am kinda afraid. Been hurt before, and honestly I'm not that aggressive when it comes to love.
I hope you'll get through the denial phase. It's not easy, but hopefully time will tell. If you wanna come out to your friends, maybe it's better to tell them one by one, and choose carefully who you wanna tell.
G'luck and have fun in Singapore! June is the peak season, so enjoy yourself. (Don't miss the great foods!)
There are TONS of closeted lesbians in the Philippines... I was one of them even when I went to college at UP Diliman. The conservativism was so overwhelming that I tried really hard to conform (or atleast pretend to). Trying to hide a two year F2F relationship from my closest friends and family was really frustrating.
I only had the guts to come out when I came here (Seattle) four years ago. I must say, coming out to my family was one of the most painful experiences of my life, but it was also the best decision I ever made.
My family fully embraces me for who I am now, and have welcomed my current femme partner (Who is a non-Filipino) into the family. We've definitely come a LONG way. Geography made a huge difference in my life.
I once asked a friend where to find lesbians in the Philippines.
she said, "on basketball courts. D.U.H."
does that ring true? or are there more in exclusive private schools for catholic girls...:D
I guess in most countries with an overwhelming catholic population, it's hard to accept homosexuality...if I remember correctly, Carmen's mother says, "Mejor puta que lesbiana" in one episode of the L Word
is there a need for SEA groupie?
Issit necessary for a south east asia group here? Sounds like discrimination to me unless you give good explanation, girl. Well, unless AfterEllen forum is not for Asians.
just trying to provide a platform.
well jeez, i just thought that it would provide some representation since there's a thread for vietnam, france, italy, and various regions and countries. it's not discrimination, sometimes there are members who'd like to meet other members from the same region/country. i'd be more than happy to delete it if others feel that way.
Keep this group
I completely agree with msgulp that this is an important group. For me, it is important first and foremost to see the full reach of AfterEllen.com, especially in parts of the world where LGBT issues and communities have even more of an uphill battle for acceptance than we do. I am not from Southeast Asia, but it was while I was living in Thailand that I discovered the website, and it was a great source of comfort and inspiration during the two years I spent there as a Peace Corps Volunteer. My ex is Thai and still lives there; I am the first woman she ever fell for, and while that was a source of contention the entire time we were together, it would be comforting to know that this website and community would be available to her should she ever need it. She needs to know that there people here like her, that she would recognize. It would make it much easier for her to accept the reality of our relationship and her feelings about me.
And aside from the personal reasons listed above, Southeast Asia is an often stereotyped, misunderstood part of the world. It is one of the most linguistically, culturally, and religiously diverse areas of our planet. There are more languages and dialects spoken in Indonesia alone than there are in the whole of Africa, and nearly every major world religion is well represented in SE Asia. AfterEllen allows us a forum to represent the best of us, and to show the world watching who we really are. This is the best place for Southeast Asians to gather, not the worst. What they learn from each other teaches us all.
"Better than a thousand useless words is one word that brings us peace."
--The Dhammapada
Best of both worlds
ysubassoon, that's well said. I'm Indonesian by birth and blood, but I have a Dutch passport. And I think I understand the question; it's meant to include everyone as opposed to exclude by seperation. Right? We can learn from eachother's differences.
I'm not out to my family in Indonesia (I'm out to my mom and brother and my favorite uncle), but I'm not exactly closeted either... We don't talk about it (not the way "white" people do, but if I were to show up with a woman I'm serious about she'd be welcomed into the family. That much I am sure of.
_ _ _ _ _
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." (Dr. Seuss)
je veux bien !
i'm from the west indies , and i speak french , but i'd like to meet lesbians from all over the world since on my island homosexuality is not something you can really talk about :s in guadeloupe we don't have the chance to meet other lesbians and stuff , no gay bar or gay club or whatever ... just a few private parties every two months or something (and always in hidden places )
my english isn't perfect but i'll do my best so feel free to contact me :)
byyyye
for keeps
Yeah I agree with you too im
thanks
anytime
are you serious!?!?
you cannot be serious.. ..
"be with me" is a genius!!
from three separate stories that intertwine into one at the end.
it sooooo helps to convey the message of the movie by doing that.
three different individuals craving for the single same thing.. acceptance.
i think it's really smart..
and how it uses lesbianism instead of a hetero relationship (which can sooo easily fit into the plot as well) is really really smart!!
it has created some really serious shocking element.. the awareness it has created through tan's employment of dramatic methods - simple amazing!!
i really felt the impact and understood what roy was trying to portray and convey.
LOVE THE MOVIE!!
and definitely NOT TRASHY.
i just watched the trailer
i just watched the trailer for BeWithME and now i really wanna watch it.... i just don't know where :( baring in mind i'm stuck here in the UK and won't be back in SG for at least another good 4 months..
BE WITH ME
you cannot be serious.. ..
"be with me" is a genius!!
from three separate stories that intertwine into one at the end.
it sooooo helps to convey the message of the movie by doing that.
three different individuals craving for the single same thing.. acceptance.
i think it's really smart..
and how it uses lesbianism instead of a hetero relationship (which can sooo easily fit into the plot as well) is really really smart!!
it has created some really serious shocking element.. the awareness it has created through tan's employment of dramatic methods - simple amazing!!
i really felt the impact and understood what roy was trying to portray and convey.
LOVE THE MOVIE!!
and definitely NOT TRASHY.
He's trying to make xiaohai
be with me
hi.. im an indonesian, born and live here. i did fortunately find and have a friend lend me 'be with me' dvd. did watch it and love it a lot! the movie is beautiful w/o words. :)
Re:
I was born in Indonesia.
ห้องนี้มี
ห้องนี้มีคนไทยหรือเปล่าคะ เราอยากจะมาคุยกันบ้าง คิดถึงเพื่อนหนอ
"Better than a thousand useless words is one word that brings us peace."
--The Dhammapada
สวัสดีค่า
สวัสดีค่า มาทักทายคนไทยด้วยกันค่ะ :)
born in malaysia, raised in
born in malaysia, raised in singapore, studying in the uk :D
glad to know there are people on here from back home!
born and raised in singapore
glad to know the existence of other lesbians in singapore..
so where do lesbians in
Les hangouts in Sg
heya, it's Ogy in Singapore.
I stumbled unto this lesbian joint in tg pagar. S'pposedly grrls only but if you ask nicely, they'll let your male-girlfriends in.
It's on the 2nd lvl on one of the shophouse.
Btw, does anybody know where there might be a screening/gathering of TLW last epi?
since when does singapore
since when does singapore have lword 'parties'? ahhaa. oh well. the shows gone all trashy. but that doesnt mean i stopped watching it!
oh there's some exclusive girls club? what's it like? good crowd or like the owners and their staff?
one from Indonesia
I'm from Indonesia, now living in a (my housemate's term) black hole. I thought the island I used to stay in was remote, boy I was wrong, I'm living in Granby and we are more remote than an island (that island literally had monkeys running around). No TV, no internet, no phone...I live in an employee housing btw...mm...wait, I shouldn't be ranting here...anyway, another Indonesian?
Indonesian too
I'm another one from Indonesia. But have been living in Singapore almost half my life now. Getting very used to it. I do go back every now and then. I became a les about 3 years ago cos of a relationship I have and am still having right now. Sadly though, I've not yet come out to any of my friends or families yet. It is a difficult I think, having this kind of relationship in a place whereby gay relationships are not recognised because I do feel a slight twinge of unfairness everytime I walk around on the streets seeing couples holding hands. Well, cos it's something that me n my partner wont often do. Frankly speaking, I don't mind though, showing public affection although no doubt it will attract eyes and whispers. So, I'd always wished that should there be a chance, I'll want to live in a country whereby gay relationships are out everywhere. Mmm..that would be nice.. Btw..I've always thought there will be few of Indonesians who are gay..but apparently I'm rather wrong to assume that..glad to see few Indonesians around here..
Any pinays around?
I know there are a lot of tomboys/lesbians in the Philippines. Any represented here?
IJP I love you
well i'm half!
half is still some right?
i don't think i'll ever forgive my mom for not teaching me tagalog.
it's never too late to learn
Woooo! Bandung-bred
Hi to all the Indonesians! Aduh, ku kangen, dong. :)
Am American but grew up in Bandung, and though I live in England now, I go back to Indonesia as often as I can (was there four times last year?). Have done a bit of consulting work with the Indonesian government more recently, and really hope to be able to get a proper job in Jakarta starting late this year!!!
Cool to see Indonesians on here. If you're from there, where specifically? I've always been told I have a logat Sunda. ;) If I move back there, I'll probably end up in Jakarta (though I have relatives in Bandung and Bali).
Indonesian here! am
Indonesian here! am currently living in Jakarta now.
Wew, seriously you have logat Sunda? (still trying to imagine an American with a Sundanese accent ^^; )
Well, hope you'll have a blast here. It's a great city, despite the whole chaos and traffic jams...
proud to be pinoy.!
born in the philippines.!
raised partially in pinas and in singapore..
currently in my homeland.. hopefully i get to go back to singapore.. i kinda miss the atmosphere.. and lack of "chaos"..
can i plug this forum again
those in singapore
Play
Havent been to play but rave reviews from gay friends.
Alternative hangouts? U mean like in Bangkok or Perth or...
*kidding
But seriously tho - am waiting for you to organise some Play time for us stuck in Sg!
lol..cheenia pia, i havent
batang manila
hi pinays out there!:) count me in. i think the others have not seen this thread yet. met a couple of them somewhere in other threads.
New Pinay Butch here..
got another hand here for the count! Mabuhay!
...someday, I'm going to meet the women whose going to look at me, and say to herself: "she's the one for me..."
butch versus femme
which?
lezpinay!
miss that ym user group...
i belong to this group.. :) i love this country.. hello philippines mabuhay! http://www.tourism.gov.ph/
hi chicky,
i see f2f couples in my place.. femmes can easily be attracted to other femmes. since femmes (i guess are lesbians or bi), they like girly image but it's sometimes difficult to have a straight women fall for them so they'd rather look for another femme.. but i think a butch would prefer a straight woman..most of them try to look/dress boyish as much as they can for a straight woman to be atttracted to them..
* the greatest law is not punishable yet rewarding *
even the gaydar gets confused, sometimes.
you're right.. a lot of the femmes i know? it would never cross your mind that they're gay, until you see their partners.
but the butches?...hmm. can see them a mile away. hahaha.
***********************************************************************
...someday, I'm going to meet the women who's going to look at me, and say to herself: "she's the one for me..."
I'm Indonesian
Hey. Actually the city has a
Hey. Actually the city has a lot of gay people, mostly university students, I think. I do have a les friend there, but she's still closeted so sadly she doesn't know any communities. But good luck on finding one, I'm sure there are lots of it there :)
I'm cambodian
Anyone from Taiwan lurking here?!
cognitive wrote: Hello I'm
Hello I'm Chinese living in the Philippines. I guess it's the same tradition here- people don't have the guts to come out of the closet- a Chinese daughter's life path is to get good grades in school, graduate, get married and have kids.
I don't exactly have the lifestyle but I can't deny what's inside me. I've been and still in denial, hoping to get out of this "phase" soon. I'm not aggressively finding love bec I'm afraid. I have been disappointed and not reciprocated several time. So I decided to let this journey be just "que sera sera".
I'm visiting Singapore for the first time in June to attend a friend's wedding. I haven't really "come-out" to my friends - I don't know until when will orientation be a puzzle in their minds- they'll just have to guess all their lives.
Good luck!
Cogie
Hi cogie. Yeah, I really
Hi cogie. Yeah, I really understand what you've been feeling as now I'm in the same phase. Though my family doesn't force me to be a good girl, get good grades and marry someone someday, but of course, being homosexual in an Asian family is hard.
The funny thing is, I'm also like you, not finding love because am kinda afraid. Been hurt before, and honestly I'm not that aggressive when it comes to love.
I hope you'll get through the denial phase. It's not easy, but hopefully time will tell. If you wanna come out to your friends, maybe it's better to tell them one by one, and choose carefully who you wanna tell.
G'luck and have fun in Singapore! June is the peak season, so enjoy yourself. (Don't miss the great foods!)
Just dropping by to say hi!
I've been using these 3 words too much, but yeah: closeted pinay femme here ;)
closet
There are TONS of closeted lesbians in the Philippines... I was one of them even when I went to college at UP Diliman. The conservativism was so overwhelming that I tried really hard to conform (or atleast pretend to). Trying to hide a two year F2F relationship from my closest friends and family was really frustrating.
I only had the guts to come out when I came here (Seattle) four years ago. I must say, coming out to my family was one of the most painful experiences of my life, but it was also the best decision I ever made.
My family fully embraces me for who I am now, and have welcomed my current femme partner (Who is a non-Filipino) into the family. We've definitely come a LONG way. Geography made a huge difference in my life.
basketball courts?
I once asked a friend where to find lesbians in the Philippines.
she said, "on basketball courts. D.U.H."
does that ring true? or are there more in exclusive private schools for catholic girls...:D
I guess in most countries with an overwhelming catholic population, it's hard to accept homosexuality...if I remember correctly, Carmen's mother says, "Mejor puta que lesbiana" in one episode of the L Word