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I'm a "straight" girl, and I like a lesbian.
I don't even know where to start, so I'll just begin typing.
Until recently, I would have described myself as straight. But about a month and a half ago I went on vacation with some friends. An old friend of theirs, "Danielle," came too. Danielle is gay. The 3rd day of our trip, Danielle was drunk and came onto me. I was sober but inexplicably attracted to her, so I took the bait. We just made out that night and kind of palled around for the rest of the trip.
A few days after the trip, she emailed me to ask for copies of my pictures, and we started emailing several times a day. A few days after that, she texted me. 3 days after that I had to buy a bigger texting plan because in those 3 days, I used my entire monthly allotment. We were still also emailing.
Since then, she has become the person I talk to most. I usually have an IM on my computer when I get to work in the morning, and we text constantly all day long until one of us says good night. Occasionally we actually talk on the phone, but when we do it's usually for 2-3 hours.
I like her. From our correspondence, it's clear that she likes me. However, she lives half way across the country. She also has an ex-gf she's 'not sure she wants to get back together with.' I'm flying near her state in a few months, and she's driving 6 hours to see me for 2 days.
I've never liked someone this much. I've never been that girl who *has* to talk to her sig. other all of the time, yet I've become that girl with Danielle. I feel a pang if she's the one who lets me go when we talk, and I look forward to the little blinking light on my phone telling me I have a message. She said she's the same way-has never been one to speak so incessantly with anyone.
Is this whole thing pointless? Should I try to cut my feelings off from this? She lives states away, the ex-gf is still around...I don't want to get hurt. If I thought she was just enjoying my company as friends it'd be a lot easier to try to quit liking her. As it is, I know she likes me and it's killing me that she might choose the logical choice (the close, familiar ex) over me. I just hate waiting for the other shoe to drop, even though I hope it doesn't. Then I'm combining all of this with trying to understand the new and different experience of liking a girl, and it's all very confusing and frustrating.
Advice or comments?
Until recently, I would have described myself as straight. But about a month and a half ago I went on vacation with some friends. An old friend of theirs, "Danielle," came too. Danielle is gay. The 3rd day of our trip, Danielle was drunk and came onto me. I was sober but inexplicably attracted to her, so I took the bait. We just made out that night and kind of palled around for the rest of the trip.
A few days after the trip, she emailed me to ask for copies of my pictures, and we started emailing several times a day. A few days after that, she texted me. 3 days after that I had to buy a bigger texting plan because in those 3 days, I used my entire monthly allotment. We were still also emailing.
Since then, she has become the person I talk to most. I usually have an IM on my computer when I get to work in the morning, and we text constantly all day long until one of us says good night. Occasionally we actually talk on the phone, but when we do it's usually for 2-3 hours.
I like her. From our correspondence, it's clear that she likes me. However, she lives half way across the country. She also has an ex-gf she's 'not sure she wants to get back together with.' I'm flying near her state in a few months, and she's driving 6 hours to see me for 2 days.
I've never liked someone this much. I've never been that girl who *has* to talk to her sig. other all of the time, yet I've become that girl with Danielle. I feel a pang if she's the one who lets me go when we talk, and I look forward to the little blinking light on my phone telling me I have a message. She said she's the same way-has never been one to speak so incessantly with anyone.
Is this whole thing pointless? Should I try to cut my feelings off from this? She lives states away, the ex-gf is still around...I don't want to get hurt. If I thought she was just enjoying my company as friends it'd be a lot easier to try to quit liking her. As it is, I know she likes me and it's killing me that she might choose the logical choice (the close, familiar ex) over me. I just hate waiting for the other shoe to drop, even though I hope it doesn't. Then I'm combining all of this with trying to understand the new and different experience of liking a girl, and it's all very confusing and frustrating.
Advice or comments?
Submitted by
ineedagandt (12 posts)
on March 29, 2009 - 8:49pm.