“[O'Donnell] ought to be careful 'cause I'll send one of my friends to pick up her girlfriend, and I think it would be very easy.” — Donald Trump to Access Hollywood

“I should fire myself just for having you around.” — My Donald Trump doll

Two years ago, my partner gave me a Donald Trump doll for Christmas. She gave me other presents, too, but Donald was the only gift I could actually play with.

Hooked on NBC's The Apprentice then, I'd regularly push the button on Donald's back to hear one of 18 different quotes escape from the speaker in his belly. “Ideas are welcome, but make sure you have the right one,” he'd say often. I loved that one.

Donald once had a very comfortable home on the windowsill in my kitchen. Dressed smartly in a blue suit with a power-red tie, he looked very capable and self-confident sitting against the backdrop of the palm trees in my backyard and the mountains in the distance. Posed with one arm outstretched as if always ready to say, “location, location, location,” he represented success and ego to me — the good kind, not the bad. “Never give up under any circumstances; never give up,” he'd advise.

But these days Donald isn't so comfy. At this very moment he is dangling from a wine opener mounted to my kitchen wall. His red tie rubs against the right side of his face as he sways back and forth along the wainscoting; his elbows and feet slam alternately against the door and window moldings.

I like to see him swing as I open a good bottle of Viognier or after my cats try to rip his legs off. I enjoy it so much that sometimes, just for the hell of it, I flick his head with my fingers and watch him twirl until gravity forces his pants to slip down to his knees. Poor Donald. He is smooth where no man should be.

But it's not my Donald doll's lack of, um, masculinity that's caused me to turn against him; it's the real Donald Trump's lack of character. Trump is — to use his own words against him — “a real loser.”

In addition to being amused by the first two seasons of The Apprentice, the show cemented my belief that Trump is an arrogant bully with a great deal of contempt for women. But — and I'm ashamed to admit it — until recently I ignored the inglorious aspects of his personality. I reasoned that since I would never be in a position to deal with him, his disdain for estrogen wasn't my problem. Sure, I felt bad for the women in his life, including those on The Apprentice, but I figured that they made their own beds, so to speak. Besides, businessmen with little integrity and no respect for women aren't exactly rare, so Trump didn't stand out from the crowd — until, that is, he decided to repeatedly harass Rosie O'Donnell in blatantly sexist and homophobic ways. Then it became personal.

It all began on Dec. 20, 2006, after Trump announced that he would give Miss USA Tara Conner, who wasn't behaving in a manner befitting her crown, a chance to redeem herself. When commenting on Trump's decision on The View, O'Donnell called him a “snake-oil salesman.” While mocking his comb-over, she added, “He left the first wife, had an affair, left the second wife, had an affair. Had kids both times, but he's the moral compass for 20-year-olds in America.”