Karman & Malinda's Top 11 Lesbian Fashion Accessories

There was a time (and perhaps we're still in it) when you had to figure out whether someone was gay based on what they were wearing. Spiky hair and combat boots? Probably a lesbian. Birkenstocks and cargo shorts? Could be gay, could be a hippie. Fashion says a lot about a person: from their class to their age to their profession and aesthetic sensibilities. Wearing a pinky ring in the 1950s signified queerness, just as the magical combination of a studded belt and a fauxhawk can today.

Those signs of lesbian identity made their way into our queer consciousness with the help of mass media, from the pulp fiction of the 1950s to the gay films and television networks today. And for us, queer pop culture has the same weight and significance as mass hetero culture does for the rest of the world. George Clooney's Caesar cut and Jennifer Aniston's “Rachel” set the standard for straight hair, but now lesbians can special order “The Shane” when they go in for a hairdo or reference Rosie O'Donnell's bi-level cut disaster as a hair don't.

Here's our guide to the top 11 lesbian accessories (we use the word, well, loosely). We hope they'll inspire you to follow Marlene Dietrich's advice: “I dress for the image. Not for myself, not for the public, not for fashion, not for men.”

11. Flannel

Memorably featured in: Salmonberries, Mango Kiss

Remember back in the day when everybody was grunge? Well, if you are one of the countless lesbians who owned several flannel shirts in that era, don't worry. It's OK — everyone did — but when that period of fashion was over, we got rid of our flannel. The crime is in continuing to wear it long after it has become passé. Not that there aren't moments when wearing flannel is appropriate. For example: while riding around on a tractor in Kansas to do some kind of farm-related work; while fixing the engine in your '57 Chevy (although we recommend a mechanic's uniform); on Halloween, while dressing up as a lesbian who is visiting from 1993.

10. Hats

Memorably featured in: Bar Girls, Survivor: Vanuatu, Friends

A well-selected and jauntily worn chapeau potentially can elevate an ordinary outfit to the sublime. But a ridiculous hat also has the power to plunge the wearer into the pits of Fashion Hell. It seems that a lot of lesbians — both on-screen and off — opt to wear hats, which is evidence of our collective adventurous spirit and devil-may-care attitude, but also our occasional collective lack of sound judgment.

There are so many different styles of hats, and so much can go wrong. Remember the Mad Hatter-style monstrosities worn by the lesbians to their wedding on Friends? Guinevere Turner's backwards baseball cap in Go Fish? That horrible thing squatting on Chastity Bono's head in Bar Girls? Even the normally dashing Marina looked like a lesbian Zorro on The L Word last week when she arrived at Jenny's book reading wearing an oversized, fedora-esque-looking hat.

But on the right head, even a nappy piece of cloth can look good. CBS wants us to call it a “buff” (and pay $15 for the privilege of owning one ourselves), but we all know that beautiful and bossy Survivor star Ami Cusack was just sporting a glorified do-rag out there on Vanuatu. That “buff” was sun-faded and likely quite stinky, but really, how many of you would have voted her off the island?

9. Guitars
Memorably featured in: Loving Annabelle, Prey for Rock & Roll, All Over Me

We know that musical instruments aren't typically considered to be fashion accessories, but every lesbian knows they should be. Nothing complements jeans, T-shirts and sturdy shoes like a battered but beloved guitar. Acoustic? Electric? It really doesn't matter. You don't even have to play it well. Just clutch it tightly and sing your song with conviction. In other words, sell it.

In Loving Annabelle, the teenage title character had the audacity to serenade her teacher (and soon-to-be lover), Simone, in front of the whole school (as well as Mother Superior) with a song she had written just for her. It did the trick, and then some. It's safe to say that if you and your guitar can start a sexual fire that only the police can put out, you have mastered the art of accessorizing.