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Originally posted by Rachel_M:
She actually meant he was gay. But for someone to find that offensive bugs the hell outta me. And I don't think two meanings of the word gay actually exist if you know what I mean (can't think of better words to phrase it!)

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Well, where I'm from people say this is "gay", that's "gay", as a general adjective that's synonomous with "bad"- "That homework was gay!" or "The chem lab is kicking my ass, it's sooo gay." I don't think they literally mean "homosexual"- I've called a few acquaintances on using the word and they've often said that they never thought of it as having that connotations. I find it hard to believe that they don't realize it at all, or how it could make anyone who IS gay feel- but then, most people in high school don't really care how gays feel, do they?
(Then again, there are some words with different connotations that I never thought about until someone brought them up- like the ableist undertones of the word "lame.")

I think the meaning of words are often influenced by the intentions behind them. I can understand the schools actions, since the kid was being called something that was meant to be insulting (even if the word in itself isn't). The school can't let kids get away with harrassing other kids just because the words used in the acts are used out of context. It's very sad that words like "gay" are being used in that manner, of course, but the school in the scenario you described really did the only realistic thing by handling it the way they did.

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Originally posted by BabyGem:

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because my highschool totally ignored our complaints and even went as far as saying, well you are gay so it's your fault for being a cause for bullying.

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So what they are saying is that you bring it appon yourself. That's just disrespectful. So if a woman gets raped, it's her fault?? What's the reasoning in that? - Beacause she is a woman?? That's sooo stupid.

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Yeah they were really ****ty like that but that seems to be really common over here. A couple of weeks ago a 14 year old boy killed himself on school grounds in the north of Spain coz he had suffered bullying for two years, after one day he was really sick and had an accident, and after that the teacher rallied the students to make fun of him, including pelting him with toilet paper etc!!! And this kid just couldn't go on living with the taunting! But what has happenend to the teacher and the fellow students who caused him all his suffering?? Nothing they got off scott free!!!! And now on the TV they talk about bullying as if its something completely new to society!!
And when terrible tradgedies such as the Columbine Highschool shooting occur and everyone's up in arms about it. I always say, well it's horrible and should never happen but I think I can understand what was going on in their heads!!
Untill you've been on the receiving end of mental / physical abuse you really can't understand the pain and complete rage you can feel towards those tormentors.

I myself suffered a great deal in highschool due to rampant homophobia, not only from fellow students but also from teachers. Every school day was torture and for a long time after graduation it affected me a great deal.
I think that if you've been on the recieving end of prejudice you start to associate certain words with bad feelings.
For example the words gay or homosexual have never bothered me but lesbian and dyke don't seem to fit comfortably in my vocabulary, because they were the two words that were always a part of the tauntings that I suffered.
On the otherhand lesbiana (lesbian) or bollera (dyke) I have no trouble saying they just roll right out because nobody ever insulted me in Spanish.
Funny how the human psyke works?!
On the more wider subject of bullying, I think that in the case of this girl, they were perfectly correct to reprimand her, despite the fact that the boy was gay or not. She was taunting him and that is not fair. He was lucky enough that the school direction did something about it, because my highschool totally ignored our complaints and even went as far as saying, well you are gay so it's your fault for being a cause for bullying.
Oh, and that old saying about words not hurting... That is complete bull****!! The broken bones from the sticks and stones will heal but the wounds made by words never really heal they always leave an obvious scar. Everybody should just be nice to each other and accept each other. Is that such an impossible thing to ask??

Well my brother dose it to annoy me, well genraly i have a problwm with the word and i don't know why.....i mean everyone i know knows im gay and acsept that it....never mind im rambling don't get me started or id give ya my life history ^^'

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Originally posted by Vampire Haruka:
There are actuly two meanings to the word gay, that your very happy and that you like the same sex.

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Yeah, but I mean in sexuality/insult sense.

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Originally posted by Vampire Haruka:
I'm gay myself but i don't like the word dyke for some reson, when ever my brother call me it, it makes me so mad.

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How exactly does it make you feel? My brother calls me "dyke" but to be honest it doesn't really bother me. It all depends on who is saying it and why.

There are actuly two meanings to the word gay, that your very happy and that you like the same sex.

I'm gay myself but i don't like the word dyke for some reson, when ever my brother call me it, it makes me so mad.

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Originally posted by JWizB:
However, I'm thinking that Clare was reprimanded by the way she MEANT "gay", as an insult, rather than for the implication that James was gay. if you know what I mean.

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She actually meant he was gay. But for someone to find that offensive bugs the hell outta me. And I don't think two meanings of the word gay actually exist if you know what I mean (can't think of better words to phrase it!)

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Untill you've been on the receiving end of mental / physical abuse you really can't understand the pain and complete rage you can feel towards those tormentors.

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I used to play soccer/football and this one kid was huge - built like a tank. She used to scare the living s**t out of me. I was maybe 7 at the time and she would just run me right over. My coach would say "suck it up! How are you supposed to get better if you keep letting her do that to you!!"...umm let's see....I WAS 7!!! AND 4"5 TALL!!!! I never understood the concept of bullying....

I think being called gay/dyke or whatever by someone who IS gay doesn't have the same effect on you as a straight person calling you gay. It's like if a straight person calls you gay, it's like: dude! you have know idea what it's like to be me so you have no right using that word! .....where as if a gay person called you gay - it's ok. 'cuz they just know....you know what I mean??....um.....let me put it this way: If a black man saw his black friend and says " hey! n****r, whats up?", that would be acceptabl to them. Now if a NON-colored person said that to a black person.....well you know what would happen. Get the gist of it?

Yeah, it bugs me too. I mean, my little sister thought that the word "gay" was a curse word until she was eight. Lovely society we live in.
However, I'm thinking that Clare was reprimanded by the way she MEANT "gay", as an insult, rather than for the implication that James was gay. if you know what I mean.
Maybe I'm grasping at straws, but I gotta be optimistic sometimes.

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Originally posted by Vampire Haruka:
Well my brother dose it to annoy me, well genraly i have a problwm with the word and i don't know why.....i mean everyone i know knows im gay and acsept that it....never mind im rambling don't get me started or id give ya my life history ^^'

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Well, if you wanna talk (or err...type in this case LOL) feel free to type away!
I just noticed your profile said "student chef" - ME TOO!

**COPIED FROM ANOTHER THREAD**

[quote:6f9ecd620b="ronia"]Re: don't quote me column - "that's kind of gay"

What are people's thoughts on this column? I have to admit I hate the phrase "that's so gay." One thing that I have been seeing lately, since the Foley scandal and the Haggard scandal, is that some people seem to have missed the hypocrisy element of the scandals - in the Foley case, the "family values" party's failure to respond to sexual harassment of teen pages when they allegedly were aware of it for some time before the story hit the papers, in the Haggard scandal, campaining for an anti-gay-marriage amendment and representing yourself and your family as the model of hetero-happiness while in fact having a drug-fueled relationship with a gay prositute. I think some people instead see the lesson learned from both scandals as "they are bad b/c they are gay," fueling the use of "gay" as an insult.

At the same time, I am curious about what the lighhearted response proposed in the article would look like:

[i:6f9ecd620b]Instead of seeing his words as harmful, why not view them as proof of conformity and react in a way that shows we can be lighthearted?[/i:6f9ecd620b][/quote:6f9ecd620b]

[quote:6f9ecd620b="koma"]My opinion on "that's so gay" is the same as my opinion on words like "dyke"... you better be either gay or REALLY gay-friendly, or else you're not going to get away with it. :P Maybe that's the wrong stance to take, but there ya go.

:dunno:

I do agree with Kim Ficera that the sportscaster's words were markedly different from the other people mentioned though. Also, when 12-year old schoolboys use "that's so gay" to mean "stupid", I think it is different than an adult sportscaster getting a bit whimsical and then saying he was acting "kind of gay" (although the implication is "soft and feminine", which isn't a fair label to put on our gay brethren). Still, it bothered me a lot less than, "I'm not your little f@ggot!" Can't see any positive spin on that one. :?

BTW, any thoughts on whether this thread could merge with the existing "That's so gay" thread?[/quote:6f9ecd620b]

[quote:6f9ecd620b="ronia"]No objections here.[/quote:6f9ecd620b]

I was thinking back earlier about something that happened about 4 years ago at school (we were 13). A friend of mine was kinda bullying this other kid and calling him names including calling him "gay". The kid James got his mum into the school to complain about my friend. So she ended up getting a letter home to her parents about her behaviour from our head of year teacher. Included in this letter was something like "Clare continually called James "gay"..."
Shouldn't schools be teaching kids that being gay isn't bad...but instead their promoting the message that being gay is disgusting. If Clare had called James straight would she have sent a letter home to Clare's parents? That's right, no she wouldn't have! Being called "gay" is possibly the most insulting word to many people out there...isn't that just SAD? Why do most straight people get so angry when they're called gay? If I was called straight I'd just laugh!

It just makes me angryyyyy!!!!

Does anyone else find this *extremely* infuriating, or am I alone in this?!

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because my highschool totally ignored our complaints and even went as far as saying, well you are gay so it's your fault for being a cause for bullying.

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So what they are saying is that you bring it appon yourself. That's just disrespectful. So if a woman gets raped, it's her fault?? What's the reasoning in that? - Beacause she is a woman?? That's sooo stupid.

Oh well, its the only word that gets to me and like i said i really don't know why *Bangs head on Desk*

Well thats cool what level are you doing?

She had a go at Clare for calling him gay. Surely the smart thing (but obviously unrealistic in this world!) would have been to say "is that the most insulting thing you can think of?! Grow up!"

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Yeah they were really ****ty like that but that seems to be really common over here. A couple of weeks ago a 14 year old boy killed himself on school grounds in the north of Spain coz he had suffered bullying for two years, after one day he was really sick and had an accident, and after that the teacher rallied the students to make fun of him, including pelting him with toilet paper etc!!! And this kid just couldn't go on living with the taunting! But what has happenend to the teacher and the fellow students who caused him all his suffering?? Nothing they got off scott free!!!! And now on the TV they talk about bullying as if its something completely new to society!!

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Oh my God. That's horrible.

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Oh, and that old saying about words not hurting... That is complete bull****!! The broken bones from the sticks and stones will heal but the wounds made by words never really heal they always leave an obvious scar. Everybody should just be nice to each other and accept each other. Is that such an impossible thing to ask??

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I've had only one experience in my life that I have been harrased because of my sexuality. And it wasn't in school. I was just walking with Rory ( before we got togther ) and we held hands for like a second and this old woman just stared at us and then she stared spewing her bible crap at us. I'm catholic, but when someone uses the bible in that way, I have to say that I wasn't thinking very goddly thought's towards that woman. By the time we left, Rory almost had tears in her eyes. And you're right, words will last forever. they will never go away. My schools, thatnk God, were awsome. I went to a catholic elementry school and a catholic high school where the impotant thing they taugh at theschools was to love your neiboughr the way you would want to be loved and also to love your enemys because they don't know what they do....cool school huh?