I think that distancing yourself is a good thing. Not necessarily ignoring or being rude in any way, just distance.

From what I have read it seems as if she has an idea how you feel - Just as you have an idea of how she may feel. She was kinda rude with the gum thing, but maybe she was just having a bad day. Regardless, you shouldn't outright ignore her because it is going to look as if that one incident made you dislike her - And that can make you look petty.

You're not comfortable giving her the letter now - Then don't give it to her. I'm big on the whole, 'Don't do it unless you're completely comfortable doing it'. You'll know the right time, if there is one. None of us here know what the right thing is for you to do - Only you do. So take advice, certainly, but do not base your decisions on anything anyone says here. Just consider.

On the other side of what Les said - it is possible that she knows how you feel - and that's why, when you call her, she isn't returning your call. It wouldn't mean she isn't attracted to you or that your attention doesn't mean anything to her - it would just mean that she's not prepared to handle it right now.

I think that it is OK to distance yourself right now.

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Originally posted by code3:
I think what we have here is me having to make a payment on my Karma credit card. I'm being punished for past sins.

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This is not true, unless you believe it.

KILLING YOU? How about killing me.

I'm afraid of the truth. a)she could like me. don't really know where to go from there.Don't see a viable future there. b) she doesn't like me. And if she doesn't that makes her a real b*tch for touching me repeatidly the way she does because everyone and their dog has said that that is not "friendly" touching. I don't ever want to think of this girl as a b*tch. I want to believe there are good-hearted girls out there. And so far, past experience has taught me that there is no such thing.

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Originally posted by code3:
What I want to know is if she likes me as much as J claims, why doesn't SHE come up to ME and tell me so.

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If she's new to the whole "liking girls" thing, she's probably pretty hesitant to make a move. So it's my professional opinion (as a...uh...swede) that if there's going to happen anything, you're going to have to make it happen. Hey, she may not even be interested in you that way, but if you're not willing to take a little chance and talk to her about it, you'll never know.

So stop being a chicken**** and seduce that hottie.

Omg I hate it when some girls think just because you're gay you obviously into any girl around you. Like one girl said she doesn't like to be around lesbians because she thinks she'll get hit on. I was about to say, you're ugly as hell, get over yourself. Straight girls don't think we can control ourselves around them....cuz they're SO diserable.....

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Change of subject, how things going with your nearly but not quite girlfriend babygem..? (hate to be nosey )

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I'm gonna be taking some time off work in a few days to take her to this amusment park, I've been taking her to the movies for to long and I think she is getting kinda bored of it . I'm gonna ask her, if I don't freak out, to "officially" be my girlfriend....I also have this big stupid grin on my face right now. Wish me luck...

No. B/f=best friend. No boyfriend to my knowledge.

druj I'll give you a hint. It's a small picture and it mentions her name. You are looking at the December 2004 issue right?

Did I mention that this girl takes erotic pictures of herself? She had them stored on her phone. I think they are done by a professional photographer. In one she is wearing a black lingerie thingie and she has her head turned to the side and her middle finger on her cooter. She showed them to me. I didn't act all excited about them.

This is crazy ****. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

However, I'm probably going to get kicked out of one of my classes for ditching to go drink. I told myself no girl was ever going to get in the way of my career. I already don't act like I like her, tomorrow I'm going to try to ignore her altogether and go on with my life. We'll see how long that last.

P.S. has anyone of your friends hugged you in a way that got you aroused?

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I just don't want the honeymoon to be over

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If some how you find out she does like you, the honeymoon will never be over. I'm still on mine ....

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In an attempt to regain my sanity, this saga is over.

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WHAT!!!!!! NO!!!! Don't do this!!!!

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I can't take her touching me anymore

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.....find out were you stand with her!! You can't just end it!! Not like that!!!

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So, there will be no letter giving. It's over

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....

I think you need a good swift kick in the yahoo's to get ya goin....people!! Help me out here!!!

Code3,
Have you tried asking who she perfers to be with-girls or boys. It does sound like she likes you or she could be one hell of an actress. 'Cuz sweet Mary!! If a girl, before I ever dated Rory, did that to me....I think I'd melt or just combust!!

Speedo, you're hilarious!

1) Her giving my b/f dirty looks when I'm not there might just constitute being a b*tch.

2)I like her a lot. I just feel like I've lost my window of opportunity. I cannot make a move until I have solid proof she likes me. She is a classmate and that is a sticky situation. I already got involved with a classmate and it turned sour and things got really awkward until she dropped out two weeks later. So, I can't be hitting on someone that doesn't even like me to begin with. And my classmates are the biggest gossipers I have ever met.

3)It's intimidating to be with someone that beautiful. All the guys think she's hot. And not only am I a b*tch magnet but I'm a bar fight magnet too. Men seem to not know how to keep their hands to themselves when they see something they like. This one will definitely keep my hands full. Sometimes being extremely attractive can have it's downsides.

I know you're probably thinking I'm thinking to hard. But it's my nature and this is a delicate situation that I'm not use to. It's not everyday your best friend tells you the hottest girl in the program seems to like you.

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Originally posted by Rayne J.:
Does she have a working gaydar? Could be, but I have a femme look, maybe her gaydar actually works ;-)

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hey sounds like sumthing is going on but then again she can be just staring at u (yea like that's it) just talk to her a bit, get to kno her and if things go well. Ask her for coffee or drinks after the gym... it might work try it.

During the weekend, Rory and I were just hanging out at the mall - holding hands and window shopping. We see a couple of STRIGHT girls we used to talk to in high school. We decided to go and see what they have been up to since school. One was still in University and the other 2 were working at some retail store. They ask us what we're doing at the mall together (we were still holding hands btw). Rory gives them this look and holds our hands up and says 'just window shopping'. The 2 girls in retail - there jaws drop and the one in university all of a sudden puts her arm around me and says 'window shopping? Isn't that kinda lame for a weekend?' I'm standing there like a deer in headlights and Rory is about to rip this girl apart. The school girl kept hangin off me like some cheap perfume - it was disgusting. Finally my brain starts to work and I say to her 'do you mind? I'm with my girlfriend?' And I'm trying to get out of the embrace (and the situation), which is not an easy thing. School girl finally gets the hint, but her hand is rubbing my back. And I'm on the verg of throwing up right there. I'm mean, this girl is not giving up!! Rory steps up to the girl and just says 'look *****. Try being a little discreet. And don't you dare touch her'. Rory just kinda 'bumps' her away from me (thank god!) and we get out of there. Rory was pissed the rest of the day - kinda ruined the fun of being together. But Miss (STRIGHT) school girl was pushing the limits....and Rory's temper. I'm not trying to sound cocky or anything, but the second Smart ass girl found out we were together she was all over me! It was soooo disgusting

Right now I'm just glad to know she's not repulsed by me liking her. If she wants to talk about it I will certainly be candid with her now that I know it's safe to.

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I do have a secret weapon. She hasn't seen me in uniform since I lost 40 lbs. My uniform pants make my ass look great. And then you add my EMT jacket and then I'm

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A babe in uniform ....who can resist ya now?

Okey Code

Good Luck!! And i'll hope she is into you to,
i'll cross my fingers

I don't know why they do it but I have to say that it is very annoying 'cos you really do not know what to do. What I usually do is not taking it too seriously and eventually they go away.

Yeah!!
I think that grin means your gonae do it for sure

Hope it all goes well

hey c3, i read ur posts, and im excited to know wats going to happen, lol. Good luck, and i think your totally right about her, with the repeatadly asking about you, and her comments, she sounds intrigued by the idea.

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I am giving a speech about the physiology of female arousal (sp?) and orgasm.

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Really?.... Why didn't they ever have a class like this back when I was in school???? I so would have stayd awake for it.

I'm in the library not studying for my quiz that is in thirty minutes that I have not studied for. I'm leaving class early to go get drunk because I'm tired of feeling insane. She was all over me while we studied. She kept putting her head on my shoulder. Rubbing my back.....yadda yadda. Oh, and if you doubt how hot this girl she is in this months Low Rider magazine.

drujI am never shy, until now. Hell, I just got up in front of a class and talked about girls getting off and what happens to their bodies. I have no shame. I say exactly what's on my mind. And I will tell any GAY girl that I like that I like her.

Found out today Surfer Boy has a gf

Ahhh.. this is great news ...if you're still interested in M, that is. Now that things are more out in the open, hopefully you can both tell what you honestly think about each other.

All the best!

I've just caught up with this thread and want to wish you alot of luck Code, not that you'll need it i'm sure especially if your wearing the uniform.
The letter is very sweet and i think sends out the right message.you go get her girl.

Lucky for me I don't love her. And I'm not looking for her to be my gf.

I'm feeling better about things. I realized that the message I left was just to call me if she wanted to study. It's not like I asked her to call me back or asked her to do something. or maybe it is straight up rejection. Who knows?

Regardless, Monday I'm playing it cool. Any conversation we have will have to be instigated by her because I'll be too busy being busy.

I've gotten really good at apathy. It's a good place to be.

Thanks for the imput ladies....it's good to know that i'm not the only one that gets hit on by straight broads.....

Next time a straight broad flirts with me...my respons is gonna be "i lied..i'm straight....i really LOVE the cock"

The worst is a friend that I used to take to gay bars with me...she would flirt up a storm...once i realized that she'd never follow through with a woman, i stopped taking her. I can't be an accessory to the crime of straight girls hitting on lesbians and bi's.

Actually there has been a new development. My best friend who has every class with me just found out for sure that I was gay. I felt the need to talk about my girl so I outed myself to talk about it. She said she knew I was gay just didn't think it was a big deal. She told me that she had noticed all the touching going on and that I was the only girl she was doing that with. She also noticed the day where she was hanging around me the whole time. That was the day of the infamous sit-in-my-lap comment. My friend noticed all that was going on but didn't want to bring it up. She is convinced this girl wants me. She is pressuring me to make a move. She's very adimit about it. But I don't always do as I'm told. Oh, my girl did say she didn't call me back because she was at work.

I missed a perfect opportunity to make my intentions clear to her. One day we were talking about sex and then she was telling me how funny I am. I told her that people often like funny people because laughing somewhat mimics the physiological effecsts of an orgasm. She told me I should make her laugh more. I had to bite my tongue because I wanted to say "why don't I just give you an orgasm?" Luckily, my diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the brain was under control at that moment.

baby No broken hearts here. Lately, I haven't liked a girl long enough to get hurt. Being busy does have some of its advantages.

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Originally posted by code3:
She said "This girl so wants to f*ck you. And I think she's wanting you to make a move. So, don't. Knowing she can't have you will make her want you more.

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Excuse me, but that is BULL****. That is the biggest and most stupid relationship myth that has ever existed. You should tell your friend to stop watching crappy romantic comedies. Or at least use a wee bit of logic.
For example, if I flirt with a girl and make my interest known, and I get no reception or a cool reception back, that doesn't make me go after her harder does it? It makes me back off. If someone goes after someone else that doesn't respond to her/his overtures it's annoying and bordering on harrassement.

I agree with druj

Just give her the sweet letter maybe she get's it then...

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Nope, that's not right either. Men are for playing videogames with and checking out girls at the beach with. And oh...women are for sex and love.

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You got that right!

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Originally posted by code3:
Found out today Surfer Boy has a gf

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All right!

Hang on - the hottie you're flirting with has a boyfriend? (in addition to her crush on the surfer boy?)

I dunno. I admit to being a bit cynical at this point, but I think I might exit the situation if I was you. Spend your time and energy on a girl who is not only interested in you, but also is available for a relationship with you. Although that is, of course, easier said than done.

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I use to think she was not the kind of girl I would want to settle down with. Today, I realize she is EXACTLY the kind of girl I would want to settle down with.

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Awwwww, code3, you"re growing up way to fast! .....have you given her the letter yet???
WEEEEEEE!!!!I'm doing a really stupid dance!

I would have gone insane by now if I were you, code. On the other hand, I would have confronted her at the first sign of obvious flirtation and demanded to know what's up. I'm not really a shy person, so I generally go head on. I realize most people doesn't work that way, though.

And I wished I was whipped by some nice girl too. *sigh*

hey Code3 ur not alone, i'm in the same situation too, damn those gurl. U just can't tell.

Yeah, I said something to her, but I don't think she was quite getting it.

I know some people may disagree, but if you're repeatedly snogging members of the same sex, maybe you need to relook your 'straightness'. JEEZ.

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Originally posted by BabyGem:

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I need to find a nice gay girl to preoccupy myself with. Any takers?

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I think Druj is available....Hey Druj !! Get your butt over here!!.....Code3 is lonsome over here....

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What are you, my pimp?

"STraight Girl" definatly is still way in the closet. WAAAYYYY back in a tiny dark little corner where no one will find out. Been there done that....not the best places to be. Hope she figures out who she wants to be...

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Omg I hate it when some girls think just because you're gay you obviously into any girl around you. Like one girl said she doesn't like to be around lesbians because she thinks she'll get hit on. I was about to say, you're ugly as hell, get over yourself. Straight girls don't think we can control ourselves around them....cuz they're SO diserable.....

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That is exactly how my friend is. Although I'm not close with her, she is like so distant from any lesbian because she thinks that they'll go for her. Thank god I hadn't come out to her or else things would get seriously awkward.

quote:

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Originally posted by code3:
For those who are interested here is my rough draft. It's lame but I'm just not an articulate person.

M,
This is not something I do every day, so I don't really know how to go about this. I apologize in advance for being juvenile by writing this instead of telling you face-to-face. But I have lost every ounce of courage I have. I just wanted to tell you that I find you incredibly attractive both on the inside and on the outside. I have never met a girl that is as attractive as you are that is as kind as you are. You are a lot of fun too. You have this wonderful personality that I am just drawn to. I can't help but be in a good mood when you are around. Now, I don't expect anything to come from me telling you all of this. I'm very aware you have a crush on Surfer Boy (will name in the actual letter). You have good taste because he is a nice guy. The reason I am telling you all of this is because I want you to know just how wonderful you are. I would appreciate it if you would not discuss my feelings for you with our classmates due to the amount of gossiping that goes on in our classes. I would be really uncomfortable if certain people knew. However, I don't think I need to worry about you telling anyone. I don't think you're that type of person. Well, that's basically everything I have to say. I hope I have not upset you by telling you all of this. Take care, S

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Aww. That's sweet. If she doesn't melt when she reads that...well, then she has to be straight.

I'm so frustrated with this right now. I just want to find a nice gay girl who won't complicate my life and make me fail out of paramedic school. I have not done sh*t for school since this whole thing started.

Ooohhh, last night we were talking about her masturbating. And I thought to myself "Get with me and you won't ever have to do that again". Did I mention that yesterday she wore this low cut sheer top that showed everything but her boobs in the front. You could see her black bra. Me and Jessica were in the study room by ourselves and I said "Do you see what she is wearing?" Then I crumbled up a piece of and put in my mouth and started chewing while making funny noises. Jessica was laughing at me because we were sitting outside smoking a cigarette (I don't normally smoke but Surfer Boys presence had me all pissed off)and it was all quiet and I blurted out "I wish she would stop touching me!" Jessica finds all of this real amusing. Monica saw me getting the cigarettes out of Jessica's purse and she asked me not to smoke because it's bad for my health. I did it anyway. I can't have anyone thinking I'm whipped.

She called as I was typing this. She asked me if I wanted to come eat with her and the b/f. I declined and said I would meet up with them after they ate.

Okay, I'm going to tell her tomorrow. It will have to be in a form of a letter(yes, I know this is juvenile but it's better than having J tell her) because she sucks every ounce of courage I have out of me. I'm usually pretty good at telling girls I like them to their face. Of course, we're talking gay girls. I'm going to tell her that I think she's incrediby attractive and that I think she's just as beautiful on the inside ( I know this is lame but it's really the way I feel about her). And I'm going to tell her she has this magnetism that I'm drawn to. Then I'll just hope she doesn't tell everybody.

See the wierd thing is in my group of friends most of us are gay, bi,curiuos or just plain fine with us, which is quite a laugh because we're so comfy with each other we can flirt like mad with no drawbacks,execpt when you fall for one of your friends, this is a major drawback that i'm having to deal with right now,grrr.
But we do get hit on by straight girls and its kind of annoying because they'll be touchy feely then you let yourself think maybe you like them, then they change their minds and suddenly love cock again.
i think we should just get what we can from these girls, have our fun and move on.

Okay, she has our instructor back-to-back for two classes. I only go to the later class. She was skipping the second class and I only caught a glimpse of her. I usually make eye contact with her the second I walk in the door because she sits right by the door. Well not today. I think something may be going on in her personal life. I should have asked her why she needed me to make her laugh. I'm still going to play it quiet but not in a childish, hurtful way. I'm just going to let her initiate conversations.

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Cause they really are doing it for evil fun and ego and ATTENTION

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Like they can't get any attention by just being stright

Druj, that's extremely . I would avoid her like the plague.

What really makes me mad about this whole topic is when (as in that example) people act like attraction to other women is just a game, while relationships with men are "real." And they think they're "open-minded" for being willing to pull stunts like that, when in fact they're just reinforcing the same old heterosexist idea that relationships between women aren't real relationships.

No. And I am very disappointed with myself. This is the first time I have not stayed true to my word. The girls I have told that I liked them I had a good idea it was mutual. Every girl I have asked to be my girlfriend said yes. Not that I would be asking her to be my gf. With this one, I don't know what to think. I showed Jessica (by having her hold my hand) how we were holding hands yesterday and she said "You know, you don't just do that with anyone. I would never do that to you. In fact, that felt weird holding your hand." I said "you know, I'm gay and I didn't like holding your hand. It felt uncomfortable."

At this point, I don't feel like I have enough evidence that supports the theory that she likes me.

code3,

Seriously now, quit this yabbering back and forth. Half of the time you're talking about how she's coming on to you and how she treats you much more like a love interest than a friend and so on, and the next day you're all pissed at her because she wouldn't give you her last piece of gum (or something).

I'm with everyone else. Ask her about it. With the letter or in person, whichever (in person would be best, though). Just do it. Worst case scenario, she gets pissed and stops talking to you. How's that different from you ignoring her completely? At least you'll know and don't go around thinking "what if...?".
So excuse the harsch words, but get you thumb out of your ass and settle this once and for all by talking with her. To get caught up in your assumptions and trying to decipher her behaviour all on your own is a bad idea. Communication! It sounds like a cliche, but it really is the best thing in the world when it comes to love/relationships.

I'm going to nag you forever if you just let this girl go and ignore the whole thing.

How do I exasperate you?

She wasn't in class tonight, so I didn't have to deal with her. This is all her fault. A month ago I couldn't spell her name. If she would have never touched me the way she has I would have gone on being oblivious. Now? I have imagined every possible encounter we might have. In the bathroom. In her car. In my car. In the classroom. At her house. At my house. You get my point. For the past month I have been thinking "okay, I've got a chance. I'm might just find out what she's like in bed" Now I'm having to adjust to the fact that I can't have it. I'm going to try and not be an asshole to her because frankly, I try to do right by people. Not that I think she would be too hurt by it. I wish she would just go away so I didn't have to be an asshole.

Maybe this is what you need - a nice relaxing relationship/friendship to get over your stress .....ahhh....what do I know? I've been involved for 3 1/2 months now....I've been domesticated .

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I get all pumped by these speeches and then I settle down before I see her again. So, unless one of you wants to call me at 0700 CST and give me one of these speeches I don't know what is going to happen

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How about you record one of those speeches and play it before you go and see The Goddess..... ....what! It was a suggestion....