My amazing father...

Oh you are lucky! That's so sweet.

My father doesn't approve the gay lifestyle but he's decided to get along with everybody and let me live my own life..so I'm happy :)

It's really great that you had that experience; your father seems like a cool guy. I actually had a similar experience with my parents, which was surprising, to say the least. I decided to come out after I had recently broken up with my first girlfriend (who we'll call "M.") When I came out to my mom, she immediately started the waterworks and I thought "oh, great, here comes the part where she tells me I'm disgusting and that she hates me, and so on..." I guess she saw my reaction and realized what I was thinking; she shook her head, as if to tell me I was wrong, and said "You're my daughter and I'll love you always. I'm just so happy that you don't feel you need to lie to me anymore." We had the cheesy, tearful hug that's so popular in the "chick flick" circles, and then she told me, "You picked a good girl, I love 'M.' I've always wanted another daughter, so this works out great!" Yeah, she was pissed when I told her I broke up with her, and all the motherly lecturing I thought I was going to get with the whole "hey ma, I'm a big ol' queer-mo," I actually got for dumping my girlfriend. Go figure.

My dad was really awesome, too. Keep in mind that he's a typical "Mexican Macho" (not in the sense that he's misogynous or anything, more in the sense that he's this big tough guy who can build, fix or beat up anything), and that he comes from a strict Roman Catholic family in a state of Mexico known for its moral badass-ness (Jalisco.) Anyway, when I finally talked to him, he just nodded and said "hmm...okay. I love you, mija." It was more of a non-reaction. But when I talked to my mom about this, she just laughed and told me that my dad already knew I was gay before her (it wasn't too hard to figure out, I guess) and that he was the one that brought it up to my mom. I was shocked, obviously, but then I was even more amazed when my mom told me what had happened that fateful day my dad decided to have a "totally not-after-school special" talk with my mom about me. Apparently, it was my mom (who's a total liberal) who was a little taken aback, and my dad was the one who didn't give a shit. According to my mom, my dad just told her, "Ay, pues, it's not a bad thing. And my family, I don't care what they think. I love my daughter, and anyone who doesn't can go fuck themselves." Yeah, awesome. I thank God everyday for my parents, and am convinced that I must have done something spectacular in a past life to deserve them.

 

 

Nomas no llores mi Chuy!

Awwwh!!  That is so damn cute :D  I wish my Daddy was like that!  I'm so glad he reacted like that, esp. when you hear such horror stories.  You are one of the lucky ones, but there's no reason that other fathers can't react that way.  Thanks for sharing such a cute little story!

you are so goddamn lucky.

 

 

Let me just say that your father is sooo awesome!!!

It reminded me a few weeks ago when I was at a restaurant with my family and at a nearby table there were two gay men, clearly a couple, so, when the waiter brought the check he was trying to start a conversation, I guess, and he was like "do you see those two freaks, they shouldn't even be allowed out of their houses"and my father looked at him and said "who do you think you are, they're people just like us who deserve to be out and proud and have the same rights and get married or whatever the hell they wanna do!!! I had always assumed he was homophobic like the rest of the elder population of this macho society I live in so I was very surprised and so proud :)

They grow so fast :P

OMG I canot even begin to describe hoe happy I am for you!, is nice to hear that for someone coming out is easy as that!.

Sadly im one of those that belongs to the "horrific" side of it all. Not that it shy'ed me out of coming out, it just took me longer to discuss it freely when the family is striclty roman catholic and your mother lives by gods laws daily. They denied me completely after I told them I was a Lesbian (instantly). They told me I could not possibly be their daughter, why was I like this when I had grown up in a religious family and all the works. They even tried an exorcism. 

It hurt, that denial hurted me deep inside, I will never forget my mothers words that day,  and worst when she said them infront of my sis, who accepts me all fine...

 

anyways, we were fighting by that point, she was still bible thumping me, thing I cannot stand. She just said it flat out

"If you chosen that lifestyle, not now not ever will I take you under my arms again, you are not my daughter, I wont care where you are, how far you go. You are nothing for me." 

 

It still stings and it stings like hell. But I have just decided to stay away from this homophobic family and stay close to those who really care. 

 

All I have to say is, just make sure you are ready to come out and you know the consequences or the outcome of it all, know your family because you dont know the way you will react or they will react towards it. Just keep your mind open to anything and be strong to fight off all the denial and negativity that might flourish from it. In the end, is all worth it, for the freedom. 

Your dad seems like such a cool guy! 

 

I'm out to my parents, but we never really talk about it. My dad (he's actually my stepdad) didn't make a big deal about it, so he was very accepting. I'm really glad, too. My mom, however, ouch. When she found out, I had to endure all the "you're disgusting, it's despicable" lectures. She always tries to connect my sexuality to other parts of my life she doesn't approve of (e.g. my friends she doesn't like, she's always like "oh is ___ gay too?!") but my stepdad will just dismiss that and tell her that it doesn't have to to with what we're talking about. 

 

In a real dark night of the soul it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day.

Does your father want to adopt another daughter? He sounds wonderful. There's no more perfect way he could have acted toward meeting your gf. i have tears in my eyes thinking about how much he loves and accepts you.

Thank you everybody for your kind words about my father. I'm planning on showing him all the stuff you wrote. I'm sure he'll appreciate it as much as i do. After reading some of the painful coming-out stories here and elsewhere i realized just how lucky i was to have such a father. I've been really fortunate that i haven't had any bad experiences coming out to people. Only some obnoxious guys and their ideas of threesomes...When will that joke go out of style???

I talked to my father some time after i came out and asked him how he could be relaxed about the whole deal. He told me that for a about a year he could see that when i "dated" some guys i wasn't really happy. He had thought about all the possible reasons for it and me being gay was one of them. And he just told me that he doesn't care about anything else than my happiness and safety...Ok, i'm starting to get a bit misty-eyed and can't see what i'm typing. I think i'll go and give my father a hug he deserves...

Aww that is so awesome! Your dad rocks! Do you think he could come coach my dad?

When I came out to my dad, well, my amazing father said that I brought down his holiday spirits and really dissapointed him and that he dissaproves of the lifestyle and hopes this is  just a phase I am going through and that maybe some day I will learn to like boys.

Yeah, father of mine, he's a hell of a guy. But he's been betterish lately, sort of. A few weeks, ok several weeks later, he called and said that "you are my daughter and I still love you". Yes, I'm his daughter and he damn well better still love me, I am his daughter and despite the fact that he acted idiotically and selfishly I still love him, even if I am still a bit bitter about this whole thing.

He was totally cool with it. This comming from a guy born in 1936, racist Boston. My mom told me he once punched a guy for hiting on him. I'd say he's done a total 180. And he's my hero as well as my best friend. Love ya daddy ;)

My mom is another story, she keeps asking me if I want to be a guy, and for the 100th time I've said no. I'm cool with my lady-parts , THAAANK UUUUU

"Elise, if I give you any more collagen, your lips are gonna look like they got stuck in a pool drain." - The First Wives Club

"Not my daughter you BITCH!" - Molly Weasley

I came out to my dad a long time ago; I remember being so nervous.  It was before I was moving to another state with my mom -- My dad and I went to eat at one of my favorite restaurants and we were saying goodbye afterwards.  I nervously told him while we were sitting in the car.  He didn't hesitate in hugging me and then he called me his little 'baby dyke'.  Admittedly, I was a baby dyke then so I took no offense and I thought it was the coolest thing ever.  I was 17.

That story fits with the theme of this thread, but really I want to talk about how much I love and admire my father.  As a kid, I went with him every weekend to work and got to learn so many things.  We were inseparable.  I know I would not be where I am now if not for him.

When he was in town, I spent my weekends with my dad in a garage in Chicago. Chicago Cubs games, Chicago Sox games, Chicago Bears games, the Macy's Day Parade, sitting with Joe Namath and mingling with other sports and news celebrities -- I was there.  I loved having a dad who worked in the news industry and I ate up every minute of it.  I'll never tire of looking at the Emmy he won for his work in the 1986 World Series.

I just talked politics (which we are complete opposites) with him for 2 hours, so perhaps I am feeling a bit nostalgic.  But I love my dad so much and I should have posted about him here awhile ago.

His health isn't the greatest, but he's outlived his entire family -- I cannot begin to imagine how difficult that must be.  I know he can overcome any ailment.  He lost the sight in one eye, long before I was born -- He lost the hearing in his opposite ear about 15 years ago.  Diabetes, Glaucoma, a heart attack, brain aneurysm, Encephalitis, Prostate Cancer -- He's been through it all.

He needs to have eye surgery on his remaining good eye soon to remove a Cataract;  there's a risk he could lose his sight.  I'm sure he'll be fine but, of course, I still worry.  They keep saying it isn't time for the surgery yet since he only has one good eye.  I don't know whether I hope it comes sooner or later due to the risks.

_________

Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

Actually something like this happened to me. When I told my mom that I like girls she was like totally cool with it, she was cooler with it thatn I was (weird huh?) she said that I am who I am and if people don´t like it they can go... far away.

Now that I have a girlfriend (we´ve been friends for over 5 years) I´m sure my mom will ask her how she puts up with me and my mood swings and then she´ll thank her for it.

And she is going to tease me to death with it cause I get all mooshy and sweet with her (I´m normally a little cold and distant) 

i lost my Dad a year ago this month, I would have loved to have spoken to him I am sure he would have been totally cool, sadly I didnt and I dont feel I can speak to Mom.

Speak while you can ladies ! 

 

last year i was in vacation and my papa asked me how old i am... and he said if i didnt get married just have a baby... i was shocked knowing my father as a conservative but lately i noticed he's being cool... i love to tell him i dont think i will get married with a man but that time im not yet ready... this coming vacation im planning to open to my papa, i know he will accept me and love me my real me and hopefully i can tell to my mama as well... for sure my parents will still my side and love me as i am...

my papa and my mama, my wind beneath my wings....