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The Five Stages of Grief

So, a friend and I were taking about the Kubler-Ross model, which is, basically, a model of the stages people go through when dealing with grief or a tragedy. Most people know this as the Five Stages of Grief.
The stages are [from Wikipedia] :

  1. Denial:
    • Example - "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening."
  2. Anger:
    • Example - "Why me? It's not fair!" "NO! NO! How can you accept this!"
  3. Bargaining:
    • Example - "Just let me live to see my children graduate."; "I'll do anything, can't you stretch it out? A few more years."
  4. Depression:
    • Example - "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die . . . What's the point?"
  5. Acceptance:
    • Example - "It's going to be OK."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it.

Now, originally these stages were related to death and dealing with your own death when you know its coming or the death of someone close to you.
BUT
what my friend and I noticed is that they can actually relate to coming out! Either the stages you go through yourself (i.e. realizing you're bi/gay) or the stages people close to you (e.g. parents) go through when they're not so completely OK with you being bi/gay.

Personally, I went through all 5 when coming out to myself! At first, I didn't believe it (denial), then I became aggressive and angry at every gay person (anger), then I wanted to be bi (bargaining), I went through this long phase where I was crying every day (depression) and now I'm gay and happy :D (acceptance). My parents are currently stuck at Stage 1, and my friend's parents at Stage 2 *sigh*

Anyway, just wanted to share my thoughts, see what you guys think of this :)

badwolf's picture

Haha

I totally am going through this.

I'm in between step 4 and 5. 

Hopefully your parents and mine will get to step 5... 

profseverus's picture

i hope u get to stage 5

i hope u get to stage 5 completely fast then :) and keeping my fingers crossed, not just for your parents and mine, but for everyone's parents going through this!!

 

 

 

~ I need you like a heart needs a beat ~

Marlow's picture

Stage 5 :)

Heh, I went through that too! Now I'm quite happy at stage 5. :) My mum is probably at stage 1 - I'm not out to my parents but I think the lack of boyfriends and a few other things might suggest something to my mum (she's quite perceptive)... my dad, on the other hand, wouldn't know I was gay if I pranced around wearing a t-shirt that said 'I'm a Lesbian' on it.
smilelikeyoumeanit's picture

Stage 5

"my dad, on the other hand, wouldn't know I was gay if I pranced around wearing a t-shirt that said 'I'm a Lesbian' on it. " 

Lmao. My dads like that... but then again i just think he doesnt care either way :P

" i *Heart* Oy oy lady"

lilboy432001's picture

5 stages

this is so true.. luckily, i went through the stages early in my life.. and finally, after declaring world war III, and two years of cold war, my mom has accepted everything too.. she's in stage 5 now. twas tough but parents will come around.. it's better to be blunt about it--cause it's really tough for them to go past the denial stage..

 

profseverus's picture

yeah, i agree that its tough

yeah, i agree that its tough for them to go past stage 1, but then again, its tough for us too right? i think parents need to try themselves to reach stage 5, because if they just wait around for it, it'll take a while  

 

 

 

~ I need you like a heart needs a beat ~ 


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