Ouch, that's right I said it.  I make no apologies.  If this is as you say it is with her "referring to guys a lot", then she has some growing to do (and actually, the fact that it's men means nothing to someone like me).  It doesn't really matter.  I think any mature and considerate adult (really considerateness and maturity go hand in hand) can decipher the impact of their comments on the person they're talking with.  So silence, possible looks or acts of discomfort whenever a certain subject is brought up are things we look out for and especially so as adults.  We realize that discussions and relationships aren't just about us, they're about connecting with someone else.  That's kinda hard to do when you disregard the impact of your actions or comments to the very person you're supposed to be having that connection with.  Furthermore, let's not forget that typically we're SUPER considerate with our partners, because we don't normally want to cause conflict, arguments, etc. 

All this to say, she has some growing to do.  Why not help her out, and maybe scrunch your nose slightly or try and change the subject.  Give her a sign that, "I REALLY don't wanna hear this, let's take this convo somewhere else."  or call her bluff and tell her she should go holla at the guy while you're talking to this other hot girl over there ;-P  Jokingly ONLY of course.  Some people need a little help with their social skills, so chill, relax, don't take it personal, and if after all your efforts it's still an issue, blatantly come out and let her know that her comments about men make you feel uncomfortable, insecure, blah blah blah...

As for her attraction, care, and interest in you, don't ever use a situation like that to question those feelings.  There are a lot of other ways to determine if a chick is or is not feelin you...she's diggin you, so no worries.  Now, whether she'll be diggin you next year, hahahahha, that's a different story, but enjoy the time with her now, and tomorrow's a new day.  She could be making these comments to get a little rise outta you, some girls (again usually ones with a bit more growing to do) like to see their partners get jelous...

I appreciate all your comments. I'm definitely going to take them on board. I'm so glad you don't think I'm being unreasonable because I thought I was a little bit.

Next time she mentions it, and I know she will, I'm gunna make it clear I'm quite uncomfortable with it. It's just it always seems so casual when she says it, it seems like she feels it's normal to say these things to me, so I assume also that it was.

Another thing she tends to do when she points out a guy is the 'don't ya think so?' thing about him. I just keep thinking 'well ofcourse I don't think so!'

But thanks, I appreciate your help :]

I'm bi-ish but if I had to choose one over the other, it would be women.  So, I think I can speak from a bi perspective, well at least my own, not necessarily anyone else's and perhaps in general, from a gay perspective.  I think of myself more as gay than anything else. 

However, with that said, I think, from my various perspectives, that she is the one being not only unreasonable but very inconsiderate of your feelings.  Irrelevant of the fact that she is out-loud noticing guys or girls, it is just plain rude to do it in front of the person you are 'with' or at least, the "checking-out" of others must be an established practice that you do together, not a solitary act, which if done only on her part is, I feel, thoughtless.

To boot, you are a lesbian and she is bi, so checking out guys really excludes you from the frame of context.  You are not interested in guys and therefore, as expected, are not interested in her observations of "hot" guys. 

I think that sexuality can be fluid but, at least for me, most of the fluidness has been a process - a process of better understanding myself and the more accepting and more process that I go through, the less fluid my sexuality is - however, that is just me and cannot, nor should it, be generalized to all women.  My point however, is that perhaps she is still going through the process of understanding and coming to terms with her own sexuality.  While that is all fine and dandy, not so much when one is in a serious committed relationship; that being, you.

So, to make a longer post longer (lol), I do not think that you are being too hard on her, but rather yourself.  It is okay to have expectations, particularly reasonable ones such as, "please don't comment on the 'hot' guys in my presence 24/7".  Is she trying to tell you something perhaps?  I would ask her what the meaning is behind what she is saying.  In other words, why is she sharing this with you?  I cannot tell you how many women I check out on a daily basis and I've never felt the need to vocalize my attractions aloud, particularly to my partner. 

I think the best thing you can do is 1) ask her why she does this and 2) express to her how this make you feel - btw, how does it make you feel?

In the end though, I wouldn't necessarily write her off, maybe she needs to do this right now to normalize her feelings for other women, a process of her coming to terms with herself.  Or, perhaps it is what it is - she is quite fluid in her sexuality and maybe now is leaning more towards guys.  Nonetheless, I would be interested in finding out why she feels this need to express to you her preference of 'hot' guys.  She must know in some manner that it is upsetting to you but continues to do so.  Bottom line, you won't find your answers here - you'll only find them from her.

I dunno...maybe I'm old fashioned, but I think it's rude to be in a relationship and being pointing out all the other people one finds attractive...doesn't matter if it's a guy or a girl.

My partner and I do that sometimes, but it's only regarding celebrities we think are hot. We've been together 11 years though. The first year or two I felt guilty just looking at other women. But then I got over it 'cause I know I'd never cheat. I certainly wouldn't tell her I was doing it though because I think it'd be inconsiderate and insensitive. 

She doesn't need to be that open (unless you actually have an open relationship). This is the sort of openess that causes lesbian bed death. (Having conversations that are best left for "just friends" and sisters.)

i think it's really important to understand that not everyone thinks about their sexuality in a binary way. hence, she might not even realise how much she's talking aobut men compared to women. it's probably also important for you to realise how ingrained biphobia is in the lesbian community. and whilst you might be unaware of it, the way in which you think about bi people (including your insecurities towards/annoyance with your girlfriend) is shaped by all the knowledge you have aquired about les/bi identities.

i think you should focus on the cool things your relationship has going for it. and really try to be reflective about why YOU'RE annoyed with your girlfriend, and focus less on why she's talking about cute boys. There is always the possibility that she's testing the waters to see how ok you are with her bisexuality, and it would be really cool if you could show you're completely ok with it.

I agree don't let the fact she's bisexual bother you just talk to her about the comments.I'm bi and my girlfriend is a lesbian and both of us at times have made insensitive comments about finding so and so attractive,the gender of that person doesn't matter it's the fact that making the comment probably is a stupid thing to do.

I think she is a little immature and just needs for you to point out your not comfortable with her making these comments and i'm sure if she's serious about you she'll stop. As for her wishy washy sexuality I don't think that's what she's being you have to remember bisexuals will find men attractive sometimes but don't worry it doesn't mean she doesn't find you just as attractive if not more.Just think if those guys were so fit then she'd be chasing them and not be with you-your the one she chooses to be with.

Plus she may not talk about girls being attractive because she may think that would be more hurtful for you and thinks talking about guys doesn't really mean anything because your a lesbian and their not as important to you.

But make sure this problem you have with her comments isn't being magnified by any type of biphobia and your not taking any simple comment out of context because you may feel alittle insecure about her sexuality.Look at the good things you two have and just try to communicate more with her about what your feeling. Communication is key ingredient in a good relationship.

It seems that there is a consensus here that you are being completely reasonable and that your g/f is somehow disrespecting you, but actually, I'm going to disagree with everyone on this one. It sounds to me like you are very much insecure in your relationship right now, and rather than go off and demand that she change her ways I think it would be a good idea to take a moment and assess what is really going on here. This is upsetting you. I get that. But that's your issue to deal with. Do you trust your girlfriend? Are you worried she's drifting apart from you? If I read your post correctly, it doesn't sound like this is a sudden change in her behaviour. Instead, it's a change in your perception of behaviour she's had all along.

Personally I'm in a similar situation to you (I'm gay and my g/f is bi) and we're both terrible for ogling strangers in the street - sometimes I've actually had to physically move her head back towards the road when she's driving to stop her from gawping at the sexy fit joggers in our neighbourhood and ploughing us into a tree! But I don't find that weird at all (ok, when driving I find it SCARY, but the same thing would happen if there were cute puppies being taken for a walk. She's just easily distracted. It's kind of sweet, even if I do have to live in mortal fear of the day we meet a cute jogger *with* a cute puppy!) I like that she doesn't feel like she has to keep secrets from me. I don't own her. She can think and do what she likes. I trust her to tell me if she ever meets someone she likes more than me.

Anyway. I think you should talk to her. There's a big difference between (1) asking her to stop talking about something because you feel like it's boring or uninteresting or actively excluding you for whatever reason (for instance, me and my g/f have decided to never talk about The Smiths in each others company because I HATE them and she LOVES them and conversations always end BADLY on this topic) and (2) asking her to stop talking about something that makes you feel insecure. In situation 1, agreeing to not talk about that thing in front of you solves the problem. In situation 2 however, it does not. The insecurity remains, even in the absence of an obvious 'trigger'. I hope I've been able to offer you a different perspective on what might be going on here, even if you (all?) disagree with me.

 i'm bi and my ex was les. are you sure part of the problem isn't that she's pointing out guys and not girls? cause with my ex i could not even dream of saying i found a guy cute but it was ok for me to find a chick pretty.

 and i was the 'butchier' one as well, even though i am dress and look more feminine than she does, i felt and acted more masculine... its not uncommon i guess.

 just tell her you don't appreciate the dude comments and if she cares she'll stop. but i think its more about the fact that you think she might like a guy more than you. and if she's from 'closetland' like me... well... lets just say, i hope you like rollercoasters.

What people have said. I'm gonna take on the bi perspective and maybe, I donno, you can understand a little better. (Other bi people, feel free to jump on and agree or disagree with me.)

I go through phases of being attracted to guys or girls, rarely both (ahem threesome).Currently I find guys sexually attractive in only spans of minutes 'cause I'm sort of with a girl. (It used to last days! Gasps!) I think the fluctuation is a combination of circumstance (hot guy being friendly to you, wet your pants), hormones (the uterus wants to make a baby), and mind/personality.

I'm faithful, so I don't jive with the 'it's not cheating if you're dating one of each sex' thing. Which prompts me: could your girlfriend be hinting to you she wants something else -and- you? Maybe throw in a menage a trois?

Like everyone said, it's just insensitive. The girl I'm with is gay, and she gets jealous, so I rarely talk about guys, only when she starts winding me up. But other than when I have that intention, no.

Maybe you should know of her percentage. Define ranges, ask her. Sure it shifts, but while she's with you it should be steady. That might give you a peace of mind.

If she says she wants a guy now, then I really don't think that's to do with her sexuality but her problem with the relationship. Bisexuals are not fickle nor incapable of fidelity with a person.

I'm highly trained. Allow me to examine your breasts.

She would comment on cute guys and I don't remember it really bothering me. I just hoped I found him attractive because I am horribly shallow (lol). My thing was that it just brought up interesting conversations on what kind of men I found attractive in a platonic sense while she can talk about both (sexually and platonic), of course I have my barf bag (I have my limits). Dating bi girls being mostly ga/lesbian/queer what have you is interesting.

I just think you really need to be more confident in your relationship and communicate better on your feelings. I would hate for your lack of confidence and communication ruin your relationship.

Praise the Pussay!