Do you racially stereotype? What do you think of racial stereotyping in the lgbt community? Have you encountered it? Its not only Caucasians that stereotype against people of color. Its also Asian women stereotyping against Black women, or vice versa. Or stereotyping against people from a Middle Eastern/South Asian or Arabic background. I've had people (both gay and straight) ask me whether I'm a terrorist because my family is originally from the Middle east. Its one thing to have preference for particular races but to discount someone because of race is inexcusable.
So what do you think? What can we do to stop such stereotyping?
Some interesting articles
http://www.colorq.org/Articles/article.aspx?d=2000&x=gayracism
Racism between people of color.
http://www.colorq.org/Articles/article.aspx?d=2000&x=colorqra
Case 2:
An Asian lesbian of Southeast Asian nationality, who recently arrived in the US, said she prefers to date whites because, unlike Asians, "they are generally more open-minded". She also said "I feel I have more in common with whites than with other Asians". When asked if she would date a non-Asian American who was not white, she said, "I am not racist but I don't think I have anything in common with black Americans. There would be nothing to talk about."
After becoming more settled in the US, this woman reportedly cut off contact with Asian friends she met in the US, except those who had white friends whom she could meet.
Case 4:
An Asian lesbian relates: "I was (non-romantic) friends with another lesbian who happened to be African American. For a while, we were close, but at some point, we got into a series of arguments that had nothing to do with our respective races. I admit that at that time we were both immature about the way we handled some things, but our conflicts and differences were not race-related, to me at least. From my perspective, we fell out because of individual problems which had nothing to do with her 'race' or mine. Unfortunately, I realized that my sentiment was not returned when she said to me, 'I won't let you stop me from being friends with other Asians in the future!', meaning that my flawed conduct would not ruin her impression of Asians in general."
"That remark shocked me because why would our arguments which in my opinion had nothing to do with my Asianness and only to do with my individual character flaws be somehow connected to 'other Asians' she might meet in the future? And since our 'racial differences' or my being Asian were not the content of the quarrel that broke us up, I was surprised that she would mention my 'Asianness' out of the blue. All this while, I thought she saw me as an individual, but that eye-opening remark made me realize that I was wrong. She saw me first and foremost as an Asian, as someone different from her, and her off-topic though 'open-minded' claim that she won't let her impression of me ruin her impression of other individual Asians was self-contradictory, because if a friend being Asian was truly a non-issue to her, she would NEVER have thought to mention it. It is precisely because she must have felt (or even succumbed to) the temptation to stereotype other Asians based on her individual experience with me that caused her to make such an unexpected remark."
"Such stereotyping happens everywhere and sadly generates a vicious cycle. I met another Asian American lesbian T who used to date a black woman. She claimed that her ex often blamed any problems they had on her Asianness and was over-sensitive, saying "You look down on me because I'm black!", which T said was not true. T came away from the experience with the conclusion, "Never date another black woman." Now I disagree with T's approach too cos' she was reacting to her ex the same way her ex had treated her. Who started it first isn't the point.
Why do we racially stereotype? lgbt youth especially those of color have high rate of suicide and we should support each other rather than alienate each other.
Submitted by
on June 24, 2008 - 9:24pm.
Interesting topic . .
I think it is particularly relavent to the LGBT community, since we all live with society's prejudice against our orientation/gender identity everyday. You would think we would be a more accepting community in terms of race and ethnicity, but it is still an issue.
I have friends of various races and ethnicities and have dated almost exclusively outside of my own race. I didn't consciously chose this, it just happens to be who I have met socially and/or developed an attraction to.
My closest friends/ex's were met at: a Jill Scott concert, at the courts during pick-up games in DC, at women's basketball games, at local battle of the bands, and at reggae/gogo parties. Often I am the 'minority' at many of the events I attend regularly.
Comments about our individual races have never seriously come up in personal conversations/arguments between my friends/ex's and I. However, I have been grilled and accused time after time by a girlfriend's circle of friends. Therefore, I am used to reciting the speech about race. I can breeze through the conversation about classism, prejudice, culture, privledge, and feeling 'other' without blinking. But still pressure and the non-acceptance of friends and family members have resulted in many unfortunate break-ups and loss of friends for me.
I don't try to be who I am not, and I would not want anyone else to either. I don't ever want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. I'm used to getting ridiculous questions. But I've learned if you answer honestly and don't discount anyone's concerns you can gain respect and also turn the questions back around and make them see how unnecessary they were. People will always be curious about differences, and just because race/ethnicity is a sensitive subject doesn't mean we should ignore it. Never mentioning it and then bringing it up in the heat of argument is what makes it become offensive.
Do I think our community will ever be color-blind? Unfortunately, no. People will always feel most comfortable around those they perceive as being similar to themselves. I can only hope that we will continue to grow and become more enlightened about these issues and actually promote dialogue rather than avoiding the topic all together.
Very good comments, K.DOT.
Very good comments, K.DOT.
As for myself, I look at everyone as individuals first....I abhor passing judgements on anyone else, as I don't like it being done to me....
But we know that in the LGBT community, there's severe stereotyping and assigning of "roles" to people who look a certain way or are perceived....now that's a sticky wicket! And, please don't get me started on the fetishization of ethnic groups! I'll never get out of this forum!
I also understand about having friends/lovers outside of your ethnic group, due to your interests and social contacts....that's been the case for me as well.
It's Nature and Nurture
Stereotyping happens because of how the brain works and how we're raised and what our experiences are. Do not discount the brain element. It's a genetic necessity to be able to rapidly identify "threats," and anyone who is different is a potential threat. This is part of the reptilian brain.
Now, that being said, we can be excused for this behavior if we work to overcome it, but that requires effort. You have to want to get to know people, be open to differences (remember, we are all very fragile), be open to learning from other people, celebrate (not just tolerate) our unique identities and individuality.
Also remember that you cannot smell the roses when you wear a gasmask. We are fragile and we defend ourselves with a multitude of methods.
Being open means being vulnerable.
Racial stereotyping
I must admit I do. As Penny said this is what our 'old brain' does and we need to be educated not to be so animalistic. We are discriminated against by straight people, but the reality is that we discriminate and stereotype others as much as they do. There are laws that prohibit discrimination against race and sexual orientation, but what we suffer daily is more covert; like people avoid sitting next to you in a bus, not talking to you on a dining table in College, not taking you seriously on the phone etc. I experienced these in full when I first arrived in London, UK. It made me conscious of my race all the time. Yes, I was just like the case 2, but soon realized that there's no point trying to be friends with those who are actually trying to avoid me, so turned to people who I felt welcomed by; mostly colored people and foreigners. I saw people live in ghettoes of their own races in London; an area was exclusively inhabited by Indians, for example. When I moved to Cambridge, UK, my small graduate college was very diverse, but I saw white British home students form a clique and always hang out with themselves. Only exception was a female student who spent most of her time in Fiji, a foreign country, as her parents were missionaries there. After all, I ended up becoming friends with SouthEast Asians and continental Europeans. There is a different kind of stereotyping also. At one point, I became close friends with a white British male student, which was an exception to the rule in all accounts, but I found most of his friends were the Chinese and the Indians. I asked him about it, and he simply said whites were boring, because they were so similar to him. His case is certainly rare, but he was racially stereotyping nonetheless.
I think we are all capable of accepting people of different races, but we need to make an effort to be open-minded. My impression is that mixed race-people tend to be more natural about it, for obvious reasons, and those who spent some time in abroad (not just visiting, but living) are good, too. However, I know white Americans who have never lived abroad, but treat me like a family member, so there are always exceptions to the rule. I think it's more important to diminish your own racial stereotyping than being sensitive about others' doing so. That's the only way you can change the world. However, I have a confession to make; I stereotype against Asian men. They are only interested in your marital status and age, if you are a woman, and I can't stand it! Sorry for my vent...surely I have some work to do.
Yes, being open means being vulnerable, well said. My observations above just prove people are so reluctant to be open and vulnerable - including myself, ugh!
proud to be a mixed race person
Hi!
I think that one of solutions to try to make people more tolerant is to prove that immigrants or children of immigrants could be part of the society,they could do studies,they could do sport,be artists .they could be an honest and respectful citizen like the others.Because when you show that to some people ,they could be more open minded and i believe that with these little actions we could improve the sitaution about racism.
just a little sentence by a rap singer that i love:Nas "i know i can,be what i wanna be,if i work hard i'll be where i wanne be" (i hope you enjoy it!)
LFromFrance:a little insomniac and very addicted to after ellen vlogs (and also chocolate).
Being Middle Eastern.....
Your post made me relive the reality of being someone who is part Middle Eastern.
I mean, i hate the fact that there is such harsh criticism for racism against African Americans or Native Indians, so much that you actually get money or scholarships. Yet people from the Middle East are criticized everyday.
And it's ironic because I don't even look very middle eastern. It's mostly because of my last name.
Still, it hurts when people joke. Even though it's meant to be funny, being called a "terrorist" hurts =/
actually, one left me speechless. Every heard of the name "sand nigger"?
A lot of the previous posts, after posting my own, have been very informative. I really liked KDOT's
But I also agree with Penny's and 1cor13's. I think it is a little biological to be racist. We naturally fear things that aren't like us. But i think our environment, our nurture, has to teach us to become vulnerable, because when we open up we realize that someone of another race is very similar to us.
And I also agree about the mixed race thing. Race has never been much of an issue for me. I was friends with a lot of Indian kids while living in the research triangle (chock full of them, not to stereotype), and my best friend in middle school was Japanese. Plus, i'm pretty much obsessed with all foreign-exchange students that come to our school. The color of their skin has no factor in how interested I am in them =P
But i have to agree with 1cor13 that i think i still stereotype, and that is mostly because the society i currently live in. When I cam to school here in the South, whites and blacks hung out in different groups and i never really understood that. But then when i tried to talk to African Americans, they either joked about me and didn't take me seriously, or they talked to me in such strong Ebonics that i had to just smile and walk away.
Nonetheless though, it was the behavior that turned me off. I love talking to the Ghana kid at my work place =) He has such a cool accent.
Aouch
"sand nigger"?
that hurts..
In a perfect world what we identify as wouldn't be something for people to judge, make fun of or be prejudiced against.
We have to recognize we live in a mixed race society. Borders are getting more and more blurred.
I feel part of our job is to educate other people (never hurts to try) as well as our children. There is a long way before Open-Minded Town.
I like to think I do not stereotype but I'm far from being perfect. Also, I don't think a colorblind society is the key to anything : differences/identities should be aknowledge otherwise it is like denying part of the person (then yep let's be hypocritical).
Racial streotyping of Asians
I am a 49 year old single Japanese woman with 4 kids-a single parent. It never fails to surprise me that some racial stereotypes will never die no matter what. I was adopted in Tokyo by an American couple from Iowa 47 years ago. My adoptive parents have since passed away but not the stereotypical attitudes that still remain alive and well here.
An example is what occurred this past Saturday when I went out to eat with my friend(who's Caucasian and gay) and his mother. Since my friend is aware that I have been divorced for many years, he thought he was doing me a "favor" by telling his African-American friend about me. His friend expressed interest in me because he thought he was going to get all this sex from me since "Asian women put out". Never mind that he is married. Needless to say I was/am offended by his friend's comments but somehow am not surprised by the ignorance once again rearing its ugly head. I told my friend that I have no interest in meeting his friend and whatever prompted him to even suggest me as a potential "date" I don't know.
This isn't the first time ignorant comments have been said to me. I have met strangers from church(of all places) social functions that even ask me if I am/have been involved in prostitutions in front of my young children.
So rare is it that I would even talk to a man that doesn't assume racial stereotypical ideas of Asian women. I certainly don't fit those ideas. I am happily divorced and unfortunately won't date anymore as long as ignorant views continue.
P.S. I watched Ellen's show when Meg Ryan was the guest. Ms. Ryan talked about her young daughter Daisy, who is from China. I was interested in what she had to say. I was somewhat disappointed that Ms. Ryan felt the need to tell a story about her daughter and mimic her daughter's voice in broken English. I am sure her daughter, having lived in America for a few years, speaks perfect English by now. No need to assume that all Asians talk in broken English. I don't and to this day, people are surprised that I speak perfect English without an accent-again steretyping.