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Again with High School, this one is more pressing

A little while back I had dated a fellow classmate. She was...to say the least interesting. During our short relationship she had revealed that her and a certain teacher had "hooked up". Me being a normal high school senior wanted to know more, but she said I would have to wait to know when she turned 18. This I took as something sexual most likely happened. After she told me and we broke up (not because of the teacher thing for other reasons), I had always looked down on the teacher. She was kinda the 'gay-icon' at my school. She wasn't out, but she was. Everybody knew, nobody said anything. Until recently I never liked her. However, a few weeks ago I was drag on to do the graphic designs for a student art magazine in which this teacher was moderator of. During these weeks we had spent time after school, texting each other, and work well together. I began to like this teacher, not in the way that my ex-girlfriend liked her apparently, but on a really good teacher-student relationship. A few days ago after school I went to go talk about the magazine with this teacher, she wasn't in her room. I found out she left in a huff right as the bell rang. After that I texted her and asked when the magazine was going to be printed, and ended up finding she wouldn't be in school for awhile. I asked why, she said a family problem. Okay, that's all well enough. The next day I get called into the principle's office and I'm questioned about my relationship with my ex-girlfriend. On top of that I was asked if in the past few weeks, has this teacher ever made any inappropriate passes towards me. It suddenly hits me that the shit has hit the fan. This was shortly followed by, she might get fired. Which was directly followed by...this is going to turn into a "lesbian problem". It should have never happened. However, when my ex-girlfriend told me it seemed more like she was bragging about it. Like she wanted people to know and think she was cool for doing what she did with this teacher. Now, I have come understand that she has done something similar with an ex-boyfriend of her’s. After he stopped talking to her, she told her parents he was harassing her and they tried pressing charges. Her ex-boyfriend was a friend of mine and I would trust him over her, it’s just the kind of person she is. During my weeks of getting to know this teacher, she revealed she hadn’t talked to my ex-girlfriend in a while. So even though this situation was brought on by the teacher, it seems it’s being exploited either over jealousy or boredom. I am saying what this teacher did was alright, I think it was horrible for this teacher to ever think about crossing that line especially with a student who was under the age of 18. However, both being seniors and graduating in a day and half, my ex-girlfriend has kept this quiet since sophomore year. She couldn’t wait a day and half? It’s an unfortunate situation for both the teacher and my ex-girlfriend, but now students are turning on the teacher and/or the student. Even worse other students are being dragged in for questioning. These questions are embarrassing, they are awkward, and prying. What are you guys’  gals’ opinion on this? I’m just happy I’m leaving, being an outted lesbian at school I would hate going through the halls with fellow students thinking I’m pervert because of “what the lesbian teacher did to that student last year”.

LaurenLou's picture

sorry

i had computer problems so i wasn't able to go back and edit this piece there are a lot a missed spelled words. In one line I mean to say "I am not saying what this teacher did was alright..." It also wouldn't let me delete the "guys'" when I ask for your opinion.
ilive2play7's picture

pressing issue

what this teacher did is wrong. and even though your x-gf probably isnt the brightest bulbs it still isnt a situation this teacher should have been involved in. When I was in high school my male volleyball coach was acussed and admitted to doing something with a fellow student. i knew this girl, she slept around with everyone, got her way with everyone, she was just that kind of girl. I knew my coach too. Although my fellow classmate was a super slut my coach stepped over the line. Being an "adult" now and looking back on this situation I can tell that my coach was wrong, although I hated this girl for it, she was put in a horrible position which should have never happened. This is the same way with you x gf...although you may not like her very much as a person right now she was put in a bad situation. This teacher should have never done anything...it was a line that shouldnt have been crossed. That is just my take on this. and trust me i understand about the questioning and "did anything ever happen" questions get old quickly... anyways good luck with all of the drama that will be taking place with this and congrats on graduating!
The Emperor Has No Clothes's picture

There's a huge difference

There's a huge difference between homosexual love and predatory behavior - unlike some in the extreme right would like to believe. I think this is an opportunity for you and/or the school to talk about that. No matter whether the student was 12, 15 or 18, there is an imbalance of power between a teacher and student and it's always wrong for a teacher to have a sexual relationship with a student. Teachers are well aware that this is illegal, immoral and breaks ethical boundaries whether gay or straight. It is unfortunate that this was a gay relationship, since there is still misunderstanding and prejudice about the homosexual community. My advice to you is to be honest with the school and/or police, without editorializing and trying to figure our what really happened. In all likelihood, you will never know exactly what happened. It's not your job to figure it out, but it is your responsibility, in my opinion, to be sure you're not holding any face back about the situation. I am a big believer in social responsibility. As much as it sucks that this might get an antigay spin, it would be so much worse if the teacher was deemed to have done nothing wrong and she goes on to reoffend. That would be worse for the victim and worse for the gay community, IMHO. This girl might not feel like a victim, but she still is one and the teacher's actions could play part in the girl's problems in the future or current relationships, Keep us posted how things turn out.

comesailaway's picture

did not know you dated

did not know you dated [Moderated] and from knowing her i think she is in the wrong just as much as [Moderated]

The Emperor Has No Clothes's picture

I don't think it's a good

I don't think it's a good idea to use the girl's name, in case she's a member here. I think it would probably be more appropriate if you PMed your response rather than posting it.
LaurenLou's picture

Update

after talking to a bunch of my teacher friends at school i have learned that the teacher is not going to return for the rest of this school year. however, she will be welcomed back next year unless evidence is collected to suggest the accusations are true. now that i have graduated, my ex-teachers have opened up to me about this situation. they all stand firm believing that 'why has this teacher all of the sudden picked to do this after 15 years of teaching?' one of my teachers said that she didnt understand how these accuations could be believed because the accused teacher is and has been in a committed relationship for several years. after my experiences with this teacher and my not so hot relationship with the student involved i feel that the student misinterupted their teacher-student relationship. i feel the student wanted what she said happened to happened, as bad as that sounds. She didnt want to be 'attacted' she wanted a physical relationship with somebody who she 'loved' or thought she loved. upon talking with fellow teachers i have come to understand that this student has been seeing therapists and such other mental help associates. knowing that this situation has happened before with an ex-bf i feel that this student is mentally unstable, not in any extreme way i just feel that she doesnt know how to distinguish relationships and accept rejection(which everybody has problems with)

 *sorry about misspellings i was in a hurry


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