I am a sophomore at my high school and although I have told a few friends about my bisexuality, I am not out to everyone. Recently I have begun to notice a specific girl in my group of friends. We aren’t close but we hang out with basically the same people. At first I just thought she was cute, then it turned into an extreme sexual attraction, and now the emotional stuff has started. I first noticed her because of her appearance, but over the past few weeks I found out that not only is she my ideal physically, we also have a lot in common regarding likes/dislikes –so much that it’s scary. She is also very supportive of gay rights. Not long ago the gay-straight alliance at my school organized a “day of silence” – a silent protest against homophobia. She participated, and when all the GSA members went into the grassy area of our campus and sat in a circle at lunchtime she went and sat with them, encouraging others to join her. She wouldn’t leave either, even when other students began to shout and throw food and rocks. Alas, she is straight – at least according to her myspace page. I’m pretty shy around her, for fear of my feelings being discovered. But I want to be her friend – I’m just scared that if I get close, I might fall in love with her! I’ve been through something similar to this with a guy before and it was very painful.

Advice?

 xoxo

I used to read so many posts about the "in-love-with-my-best-friend-shes-straight" scenario and also used to think it could never happen to me. It just did.

First off, I am 22 and only very recently over the past year admitted to myself that I am a lesbian. So needless to say I am not out of the closet yet and do not think I ever will be. It is not so much about society and what it might say, but more about my parents and how I could never ever ever Tell them for it will crush them completely. Yes, I am contemplating a secretly gay existence but thats seems fake to me.

Next up, suddenly I have an explosion of feelings and sexuals expressions in me directed towards the one person I would classify my best straight friend ( Who hasn't been there , really ?) I have always supressed them for many years partially because I was never honest with myself to start with and now they have just bubbled over. I am hoping this is a temporary crush (right?) and it will pass (it will right?) and I will not be a miserable bitch around her.

Jealousy - cannot stand it. She tells me she made out with a guy. Why girlfriends have to share such information is beyond me and in this case kills me. I really could not take it when she told me that and it still tears me up.

So I am willing to not act on these feelings for I fail to see anything constructive coming out of it. Yet, I am .. I think the term is lonely, and after a point being in the closet seems like a very difficult heavy dark secret. I also know I shall not come out. Atleast not anytime soon.

What do you guys think ?

Hi all,

 My issue is my love for my best friend is it true love? or just friendship love? I ask these questions as I am going through a tough time trying to understand who I am as a person and what I want. Firstly I do not see myself as gay, never have. I have had boyfriends in the past though they didnt last long - were only silly high school boys.

I have had a crush on a guy for 4 years now and I can see myself with him in the future. Though at the moment it isn't the right time for either of us. The way I feel for this guy I believe is deep, I want to share everything with him, I somehow trust him with my whole life and I dont know much about him but my love is letting me care for him so much.

 Now my dilemma, for the past 18 months my best friend (female) and I have had intimacy moments with one another. It all started with her reaching out for my hand at a sleepover. I only thought of it as a friend in need of comfort. But this developed into her kissing me on the cheek which i was fine with as i do that with my other close friends when i greet them. Then one sleepover she went for it and kissed me on the lips at this stage i had no idea what i was doing or what it meant so i went along with it. And since then it has developed and has turned into making out and yes it feels good to feel loved but i don't feel fulfilled or completely happy. Something doesn't seem right. I know she is in love with me, she adores me and does anything and everything for me. But in my case i feel i love her but it doesnt seem to be as deep. Its like i only love her on the friendship level. My best friend wants the spend the rest of her life with me, she knows she is gay and understands that i am not gay. So has anyone else experienced the same situation? Should I drop the initimacy with her so i dont lead her on? Because i do not want to lose my best friend. Though my bes friend has told me she will never just see me as her best friend, to her i am her soul mate and life partner.

 Any suggestions to what to do or reassurance of people's own experiences, would be much appreciated

 thanks so much

 take care 

If anyone had read my other forum, i had been in love with my best friend and was looking for advice on how to deal with it. Now i no longer feel that way for her.

Anyway the thing is that, recently i've been under a lot of stress: My dad's ill, have exams which "the rest of my life depends on" and other family problems. The stress means i've been v. depressed and i have thought about killing myself, it's like a voice is telling me that no-one would care if i did commit suicide. Right now I can manage to tell myself that my family at least care about me.

My dilemma is that i told this friend-the one i was i in love with- and she flat out ignored it, she acted like she didn't care about me and this seemed to confirm what this voice had been saying to me. So if you've been in a  situation like or similar to this, how did you deal with this?

Should i talk to her and deal with her and tell her that it upset me or -since she had done this to another friend of mine- should i tell her where to go? -So to speak.

Just so you know i'm not depressed about being a lesbian.

so I am gonna tell you the whole story,

there is this girl at school that I really, really like, she is nice, funny , smart and so cute, she is 5 years older than me. I met her 3 months ago when I started my course.

We have a friend in common who's doing the same course than I do and we  sometimes have the same subjects with the girl I like (M.) . We go out together, the three of us, almost every weekend. and we really get along.

She doesnt know I like girls, but I know she does, she was even engaged to a girl but they decided to have a break. On Saturday night, we went out and M. and I were pretty drunk.

Our other friend took care of us on the way home, until we arrived at her house, then M. and I had to walk home (dont really remember that). maybe 30 min later, we had to take different ways so I kissed her goodbye, on the lips and again and again until we were really kissing. At one moment, she stopped hugging me but we were still kissing, I thought she was gonna push me back, but she didnt, she just took my face into her hands. She is so beautiful.

Anyway, when I arrived home, I kinda panicked a lil bit. I dont really know why, maybe because I was wondering how to act on Monday at school or because I don't want her to be mad at me and also because she is already confused about her relationship, I feel like I took advantage of her. I freaked out. and I sent her a text message which was: "hey, I know you are in a complicated relationship so don't worry about us , we were drunk" I know this is the most stupid message I have ever sent but I was still pretty drunk.

I had a crush on her since I have met her, before I even knew she was into girls. and I dont think that this is gonna help me to get over it but now it's done.

If you are wondering if she texted me back, the answer is no but she doesnt have any credit on her mobile.

how should I act tomorrow?.... I am not even sure she remembers it or maybe doesnt mean anything for her. it's so stupid.

Im sorry for the mistakes, english is not my first language.

i'm talking to my best friend from college online right now, and her boyfriend of 2 years just broke up with her. she's devasted. she loved this guy and had plans to marry him in the future, and he said tonight that he doesn't love her anymore. i'm consoling her of course, playing the best friend role. i had nothing against this guy but he was nothing special and she could do waaaaaaay better than him. (she's smart, SMOKING hot, and funny as hell. this guy was just...bleh).

anyway, in college, we were REALLY close. we slept in each other's dorms nearly every night, sharing a twin mattress while spooning. so gay, i know. we would have the occasional drunken kiss, but that was it. when we talked online, we'd be flirtatious, but it never went anywhere. she swears to this day that's she's 100% straight, but in my heart, i know better. i've recently told her that i'm bisexual (which may or may not be true, but that's a whole different topic). this is the woman that made me realize my attraction to other women. i fell madly in love with her in college. although we've drifted apart somewhat, we still have that close bond when we see each other. i would LOVE to be with her, but that would never happen because she's "not into women". it's been nearly 3 years since i've moved away from the town we lived in together, and for these past years, i still think about her a lot. i do consider her my first love. i knew we never had a chance, but i could never let the thought of an "us" escape my mind. well right when i was getting over her, when i went home on leave (i'm currently in iraq) she got really upset with me that i couldn't make the time to come visit her during my 2 short weeks i had available.  we got in a really deep discussion, and during it, she mentioned she had fallen in love with me back in college. she went on to say that she was bitter that we don't hang out as much anymore, but the way she said it, she made it clear that she misses our FRIENDSHIP. this girl is driving me nuts. she's so subtle about the "love" thing and then goes on and on about our friendship. i don't get her. 

our relationship goes a lot deeper than what i've typed so far, but i'll stop rambling for your sake. 

i can't help but feel like an asshole for not having sympathy about their break up. i just didn't really like the guy. and besides, deep down inside, i want her all to myself. i just wish i was at home right now to get her drunk and take advantage of her. lol not really, but the thought crossed my mind. if only she didn't care about other people's opinions so much...

I just moved in with three girls, including someone I've had a huge crush on for a year. Since then, I realized I was in love with her. She's a stunning blonde girl, with blue eyes and an athletic body. She's really smart and funny, in a sarcastic way, which is so cute. We've only been acquaintances before we moved in together but now, we're getting closer, learning to know each other and I think I can say we're on our way to become friends (I don't use that title with just anybody). We're having a great time together but I know she's straight (besides, even if she wasn't, my beauty doesnt even come close to hers, so...). I have no clue what to do because I'm afraid things would become awkward  between us and of course, I don't want that. She seems to like me, though, but liking doesn't mean anything. Everytime I tell myself I should just let go, she smiles to me and I lose my train of thoughts. I don't even know wether or not she knows I also like girls, but I don't want to be too obvious about that, because more than just girls, it's her who I dig...

Does anybody has an advice to give me ? I really don't know what to do, it makes me crazy...

So this is a bit confusing.

A month ago, I met a girl, L, who is a friend of a friend.  The three of us were hanging out, shopping, just having fun, when it hit me.  She was flirting with me.  Blatantly.  We were finishing each other's sentences, laughing at each other's jokes, talking like we'd known each other forever.  Problem was, she had been seeing M for nearly two years.
That same night we were at our mutual friends house having drinks.  I was in the middle of a story when she looked at me, cocked her head, half-smiled and said "I really want to kiss you right now."
As endearing as it was, and as much as I wanted to, too, I told her no. I told her no so many times.  Until I started saying yes.  Oops.
A few days later she ended things with M (told me it "wasn't just about you, things were ending anyway") and we started seeing each other everyday.  After three weeks she called me and told me she just wanted to be friends and she wanted me to be friends with M, too since we were both an important part of her life.
After a few awkward conversations, I realized M is actually a really sweet girl with a great sense of humor.  We really get along.
So two nights ago at a party, we'd all had a few drinks and M was all over me.  My first thought was that she was just doing it because L was there and was trying to make her jealous, but it doesn't seem like it.
I think I really like her.  It could be that we are just vulnerable and needy and feeling like we've both been hurt by L, but I think we have a lot in common.

This all just seems sort of inappropriate.   What am I supposed to do?