I believe that it is in the child's best interest to have a relationship with both biological parents whenever possible. I can understand why comes as an unwanted suprised to you, compounded by the stress of a trial, although when I think about what's best for your child, I don't see how having him in her (I'm assuming your child is a she because it's easier to type) life can be a negative thing. While I don't think he has a right to say where youy live, I do think that he has a right to partial custody and ample visitation, particularly if you do live far enough away that he can't have weekly visitations. I am by no means justifying his absence, but thinking about the child's long term rights and in reality your child isn't going to remember her father wasn't around for the first two years unless  either of you tell her. Living would be more convenient and would make visitations easier, particularly since the child's so young there could be much shorter visits. It's going to be hard for a toddler to go away to stay with her dad for a week or a month without the opportunity for more frequent shorter visits, because he will be a virtual stranger.

Courts usually decide these things based on what is in the best interest of the child and I can virtually guarantee youy the child's father will have some type of custody and visitation. Hopefully both you and the father will be able to come to some kind of understanding because the more you can work with him rather than against him, the easier things will be for your child. That's who's most important. Your childs part of her father's family, and while it may feel like an intrusion as your suggest in the title-- if you try to remember that he's her family as well, it might help you feel less angry.

I've worked with a lot of divorced families and the kids always do best when the parents are supportive of the relationship of the child and their ex. Sorry if this isn't the answer you wanted to hear.