What specifically do you want advice about? Concerning your mom, rest assured you can't "fix" being gay, you aren't broken in the first place. You cannot change your sexuality. Don't second guess yourself, you said it took years to come to this realization.

If you feel brave, confront her and ask her what EXACTLY does she know about being gay? And what makes her so sure you can be fixed. What are her facts, and reasons for wanting you to change. Do some research first if you feel she will throw the Bible at you. Because the only thing that should matter is your happiness and her support for you. As long as you aren't breaking the law, or harming yourself, that's all that is important.

As for your cousin, I would should just blow that email off, without answering yes or no. Something like "I am not gonna answer some silly gossip, you know how our family is."

Or maybe turn the question back around on her, you may find something out about her you didn't know, that would give you more reason to trust her.

I agree, theres no "fixing" to be done, but mothers for the most part are pretty hard and harsh to deal with when they flip. I find it's helpful to stand your ground, calmly as you can, the hugest thing is that you remember who YOU are.

Remember that although her reaction isn't right in the least, if you want to have her on your side in the future give her the time she needs, do you, always... If she wants to talk listen, but make her understand this isn't a choice for you, and that you need her support when she can give it.

I'm a big family person, so I'd say give it some thought about your cuz. I mean what if she was awesome about it and could really help in some way? You did say you trust her, there is something to be said for that.

But again... just be you. Good job so far!!!

i wouldn't deny it to your cousin. or at least, i wouldn't go with 'i'm not gonna answer some silly gossip' because to me, that sounds like you've got something to hide, which in turn means you are gay. hope you understand what i'm saying.

you should turn it around, instead of answering your cousin, ask her who thinks it, like, 'really? who thought that? was it aunt so and so? i know what she's like.' something like that. maybe even say it's been said about someone else in the family, give your cousin more to think about!! what can i say, i can be devious at times! that would probably be something i would do...

if you are not ready to tell her the truth, try avoiding the question without saying yes i am, or no i'm not. don't deny it, because if you do decide to come out to your family, or at least your cousin, she's going to wonder why you didn't trust her with it. after all, you do say you can trust her, so why lie to her?

as for your mum, tell her you can't be fixed, tell her it's not something you've thought about lightly, you didn't just wake up this morning and decide to be gay, tell her you've known for a while, you've accepted it, and she needs to, too. being gay is who you are, you can't change that, if you do, you're not being true to yourself. your mum needs to understand that. talking to her, and maybe giving her time to accept it, is all you can do.

I came out 2 my mom about 7 months ago and for the past six months she has been saying that she doesn't believe that I was gay because I hadn't lived my life and that sending me 2 college would "fix" me. The way I helped her to come to terms with it is I sat down with her and we talked for nearly two hours and it really helped, she still isn't 100 percent with it but she does realise that it's what I want and accepts that, hope it helps

"...the only problem with nude dancing is that not everything stops when the music does..."

I had the same issue with my mom and came out to her three different times in my life (I came out pretty young) and each time she told me it was a phase.  I suppose at the time it was fairly new to me as she was the first person I told and I was trying to come to terms with it myself so I let myself be shushed by her.  The last time I told her (when I was 16) I was so comfortable and sure of myself that I calmly explained to her that it was not a phase, it was who I was and that she needed to accept it.  That was 6 years ago and since then I've had two serious girlfriends home to meet my parents multiple times.  Just as it took me a while to accept it, it took her a while but she loves me and came around to it.

Also my exs mother was so anti-gay when she found out about her daughter, thought I was satan that had turned her daughter gay and basically was a bitch from hell!  My ex never rubbed her sexuality in her mothers face and kept it to herself and eventually her mother came round to it and these days she asks her about it, if she's dating etc.  Give her time and I'm sure she'll come around.

First off I can assure it will be okay! I went through the same experience with my mom.......she is a homophobe and told me I had to go to church counseling and just date more men, she wouldn't take gay as an answer.  Its been about a year and a half since I came out to her and she is still telling me that Im only "pretending to be gay" because I want to hurt or embaress her.  But I decided to tell my dad and his family a few months ago, they are extremely conservative southern family but opened their arms for me with complete love and happiness, something I never expected.  My family was excited about meeting my gf and love her now.........

But that is not what made it better, It was the fact that I realized that my mother isn't going to just change over night so I learned to accept the fact that my happiness and contentment was not based on the acceptance of others, rather who I am.......You CANNOT let your mother dictate your happiness I did that and now my happiness is up to me and i love it, if she doesnt accept it than you should feel bad for her because she is missing a very beautiful part of you, only select people get to be gay so she should be upset that shes missing out lol

The whole concept of getting "fixed" is really...umm...precious.

I believe in God, Jesus, and I love the current Pope, all while being seen as an abomination in the eyes of the church. So, 'tis a problem. :--(

thanks for all of your advice!!! It makes me feel like I am not alone : ) 

"...loving someone makes you feel that you can say 'I love you' knowing that they might not say it back..."