If I saw you down the street I wouldn't be the one to see the "LOOK AT ME WORLD I'M A LESBIAN!" stamp on your forehead. I find that I, too am particularly tuned to boys clothes. I have always been. I just find that their clothes fit me better and is far more comfortable. So no, I wouldn't think your a "lame little kid."

Cause if you are, I'm most certainly am.

.:Mackin:.

Your friend is just feeling uncomfortable because you're changing (at least your look) from the way she used to know you, and that makes her defensive.  Really, it's none of her business how you dress, and there's nothing wrong with adopting a more boyish style.  My girlfriend and I both had some friends make rude comments to us after we came out and started dressing more "lesbianish".  Your friend is just letting her own homophobia get the better of her.

I definitely went through a period of dressing more like a boy after I came out.  It sort of passed for me, and I generally dress more femme now, with some exceptions.  Same for my girlfriend.  But lots of women choose that style, and lots of other girls are going to think you're cute because of it.  It doesn't make you look like a kid.  If you're declaring to the world that you're a lesbian, that's totally normal and healthy.  Feeling comfortable with yourself is the most important thing, so go ahead and enjoy it!

This is fascinating. After I came out (to myself), I started wearing more boyish clothes, which I still wear now - I just came out to myself about a year ago though I've been wiffling around for years, I just refused to accept it. Anyway, I personally don't know if it's because I'm trying to make a point either, or whether I wear it for comfort ONLY. I admit I tried to get into the boxers-wearing thing, but the breeze down below doesn't cut it for me.

So I really think it differs for people. And there are loads of girls and women who wear boyish clothes - the loose jeans, the loose tshirts, the button-down shirts, the caps. And even if you are subconsciously doing it because you want to make a point, or you want to be noticed as a lesbian, or you want to make clear the fact that you don't want guys (personally I think I wear guys clothes for these reasons, though not entirely - maybe I'm still a baby dyke, I'm learning!) it doesn't matter - I think we should just wear whatever we feel comfortable in.

I think it'd be a lot worse if you forced yourself to wear feminine clothes - I feel like a male transvestite in skirts and heels and heavy makeup. And at this age of being a young adult, I think we should grab hold of our chance to wear whatever we want - chances are that when we hit 40, wearing layered shirts and loose jeans won't look quite as cool!

I don't know but i think everybody goes through something like this once they come out to themselves. After i came out to myself i started dressing differently and i still do. Realizing that i'm a lesbian and realizing that that's ok and being proud about it i realized that being a lesbian is power and powerful and the way i dress began to reflect that. i also feel the need to establish some conspicuous difference between me and a straight woman. i'm femme for the most part but it has become more important for me to mix the soft with a little of the hard. so i no longer where skirts and i'm really loving the button-down shirt thing with wide-leg trousers. but i still where my heels and my earrings. i think as queer women our identities are caught up in the contrast and interplay of hard and soft, feminine and masculine, and this is what we're attracted to. for me the way i dress is an affirmation of my identity and a reflection of my pride. it's all good. be you and don't let anyone's opinion or discomfort get to you.

and if i saw you on the street i'd probably wink at you lol

This topic is funny because I can relate to it, but in the complete opposite way. When I was younger, I dressed in sweat pants and t-shirts and I HATED dressing up. But recently, over the past year or so, my clothes are a lot more feminine. I like heels and dresses - which I never would have thought of wearing a few years ago.

I think after you accept yourself, you realize that you can wear whatever you feel comfortable in. When I first knew I was gay, I thought I looked ridiculous dressing up, but now I definitely feel more comfortable in girly clothes. I realized that it's ok to have "guy" hobbies and still dress femme.

ever since i came out to my brother...everytime he sees me he always says the same thing..."well, arent u looking a little dikey today?"

haha, i dont mind because i know hes just messing with me. but i kinda noticed that the my style has, for lack of a better word, evolved..but f**k it, loose clothing is ALOT more comfortable anyway. [:

I don't really pay much attention to what people wear in the first place, but if I saw you on the street I really wouldn't think you were lame, maybe trying to make a point, but not lame.  There's certainly nothing wrong with making a point, as long as you're doing it for the right reasons and not just for show. 

I've always dressed pretty gender neutral (androgynous is probably the better word) even before I came out.  Since I didn't really change anything, no one ever asks about/questions my attire.  Every once in a while someone asks me why I don't wear dresses or skirts, but I shrug it off and say its just not me.  Most people respect that.  I personally value comfort over looking fashionable and that works for me.  I've never had to deal with anyone being an ass to me about it though, so I don't really have any insight as to why your friend would say what she said. 

I guess just let your friend get used to your new style.  Like you said, you are happy and comfortable and do not plan to change.  Good philosophy.   

I think your friend's comment has more to do with her adjusting to your new identity than anything.  Perhaps she feels like she knows you a little less because you're going through so many changes.  I wouldn't worry, though.  You're happy.  She'll see that and get over it.

As far as whether or not you're trying to prove a point, only you know the answer to that question.  And if you do come across as screaming that you're a lesbian, so what?  I wouldn't look at you funny if I saw you on the street.  Quite the contrary.  I'm always impressed with people who manage to just be who they are even when it doesn't match society's standards.  As long as you're happy, that's all that matters.   

that's what i'd say if i saw your dykey 13-year-old boylookin self walkin down the street. Because i dress the same way lol

anyway, basically what everyone else said...that's what i would say too.

and dressing like a boy is fun!

I got a dick like a mule...with a big dick.

...There goes another girl who probably gets WAY more female attention than I do."

that is exactly what would go through my mind. :) Keep on being yourself and rockin' the self-love.

That when many gay folks come out, in what ever medium (gay/lesbian/trans/drag, etc) - the telling of that truth opens the flood gates of liberation in every other aspect. Because once you reveal yourself in your world, you are more free to be who you initially were, but maybe didn't feel comfortabe being before.

I have a friend from HS who came out to me when we were in college (I came out first, btw) ... I was the first person he told for obvious reasons. a few months after he came out to more people, he had a drastic style change, which you described. He had dressed to look like a straight "dude" ... and literally transformed into ultra chic/hip $200 pair-of-jeans gay man. And it was beautiful, because he was finally allowing his inside to reflect on his outside. And that's NOT a bad thing! it happens in nature when catepillars turn into butterflies! (really cheezy, sure, but true)

bottom line: Just be who you are and don't worry about the rest. People are going to think/do/say whatever they like. You can't control that. You can only control yourself. And what *I* would tell your friend, is that you finally feel comfortable enough to be yourself - your TRUE self - now. And that it has nothing to do with you "proving a point" or damning the man or rattling cages.

Like everyone else said - that's her issue. She's trying to adjust and explain it to herself. To make sense of it.

For whatever we lose (like a you or a me)
It's always our self we find in the sea