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THANK YOU AfterEllen.comI'm not entirely sure as to where this belongs... feel free to move to a different forum if it was placed in the wrong section =) I'm 17, came out to my family when I was 14. My mother and I never got along that well, and me coming out didn't help that situation any. We fight all the time, shes always yelling at me and there's always something I did wrong. I never get any praise for my accomplishments... even when I got the lead in my first play, I never even got so much as a "Congratulations" and never have ever I heard my mother say that she's proud of me. Sometimes I get so frustrated and angry and upset with her and I'm pretty sure she hates me because I'm a lesbian. Since I'm under house arrest 24/7, I can't really hang out with my friends to vent. I just wanted to say that AfterEllen has helped me through so much. I know I can always log on and watch the video blogs (I love We're Getting Nowhere, you girls are amazing) or read the recaps or Best Lesbian Week Ever, and they always get me to smile. It cheers me up being apart of a community such as AfterEllen.com. You ladies are my hope for a life better than this once I turn 18 and am FINALLY able to get out of this hellhole. So I just wanted to say thank you. I <3 you guys =) Submitted by Kama (24 posts) on March 21, 2008 - 11:02pm. |
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News, Reviews & Commentary on Lesbian and Bisexual women in Entertainment and the Media
wish this site existed 15 years ago
Yes AE is a great community and it always cheers me up to hear that people in not so comfortable or safe circumstances cam draw solace from such a wonderful enterprise (not to mentions everything else we get from this community).
As for your mum; you will not live in the same house together forever. Soon you will leave home to go to college or get a job and move out (my advice would be don’t just move out of her house, but also move towns, even countries. Get enough distance between yourself and her opinions and actions, which will enable you to fully come to terms with your sexuality and the ways in which you wish to express it. Away from her fears (which is most of what she’s feeling whether she knows it or not), ideas and rules.
Maybe after you leave home and become less reliant on your family, you will be able to start a different dialoged with your mum where she will allow you to share more of the real you with her. But let me warn you that with some mothers it takes years (mine did) and a lot of books and films trying to educate her (not all she agreed to watch or read right away when they were offered and some she is still resisting).
After a very long process (which is not yet complete) my mum moved from not wanting to discuss the issue and dismissing me as a young person who doesn’t know who they are or what this world is all about (even when I reached an age when I was older than she was at the time she married my dad or had me), to someone who welcomes my girlfriend as a guest in her home and treats her with respect and compassion and when we first came home for a 6 day visit; there was 1 guest room that was prepared for us. There wasn’t even any discussion of it and I didn’t need to ask my mum for it, it was just taken for granted that I sleep with my gf in the same room and bed.
Now If you asked me when I was in high school or even when I was in college if this would ever be possible with my mum, I would have answered “no way”.
Things can and will improve as soon as you are no longer dependant on them.
And until such time we are all here for you.
Wow.
I know what you mean, This
I know what you mean, This site has opened my eyes to so many things and people. I'm so glad it exists :)
xx
Along to the sound of your song, my stupid feet keep moving...