... unfortunately I'm only 19 and can't make it to Dinah away. Never mind. I just thought I may amuse some people with my current situation. I'm suprised no-one else has posted yet.

I'm a student living in London, which is ridiculously expensive so I live with a few friends.

One is a bisexual wannabe stand-up comedian (male) whom is currently dating a model (female) and spends most of his time mocking his 'friends' thinking he is being incredibly funny and of course bragging about the fact he's sleeping with a model.

Then there's a female friend who studies philosophy, but instead of going to uni sits around the house writing songs with her 'bandmates' (although they usually just drink cheap vodka and play Guitar Hero) - basically turning the house into a make-shift squat until they find somewhere more seedy to set up camp.

Next, another guy (this time straight), who is actually really sweet and I get along well with him. Only problem. He has a crush on my girlfriend who is saying with us - She's from Paris but has been living in London for the past 8 months while studying at the same uni as me (that's how we met). She came to visit the house one day and never really left - I know what you're thinking and you're probably right. I'm sorry for not aiding in the breakdown in bad lesbian stereotypes.

And last but not least, an American guy (the striaghtest striaght person I've ever met) a good friend of the wannabe comedian who seems to have pulled the same trick as my girlfriend - Just comes to visit and seemingly forgets to leave. He's been sleeping on the couch now for 3 months and inviting all his friends over from Boston to come and visit London, see the sights, stay in a genuine student dive in the middle of North London. One of these friends was an incredibly camp American guy who had been living in Amsterdam and insisted on telling us of his visits to gay sex clubs in the city of vice over breakfast.

The American (as everyone in the house refers to him as) has been trying desperaterly to sleep with the Spanish women who lives next door, while she keeps asking me if I 'fancy a drink' and I am seriously beginning to run out of reasons as to why I don't want a drink (girlfriend, not thirsty, recovering alcoholic, allergic, mormon etc.).

So as you can see its a barrel of laughs here. I never actually realised the situation was odd until my mother came to visit and I took an awful long time trying to explain everything to her.

I'm not sure whether this classifies is weird, funny or worst living situation. I'll leave that for you to decide.

Where's everyone else's stories? Come on, I've thrown down the gauntlet.

I won't be able to make Dinah :( but here is my living situation anyways..

I am in my final year of Uni. I live in a house with 5 other people. 4 of us are girls and 1 is a guy.

The guy is quite a good friend of mine who has in the past declared his undying love for me twice (despite knowing I am gay), he follows me round everywhere, constantly IMs me and gets mad if I don't respond right away, gets really competitive over anyone who he views as vying for my attention. Needless to say our friendship is suffering quite a bit.

Then there is the uber christian housemate who really hates gays, she doesn't know I am one of the 'dark side' (hey but we have cookies), she believes a womans role is in the home, baking, raising children and letting the husband bring home the bacon. I am a bit of a feminist but we just agree to disagree.

One of the other girls trips out my gaydar big time, but is hugely repressed and also a Christian, she doesn't want to work ever and is simply here at Uni killing time until she can find a husband and have him support her. Male housemate is convinced she crushes on me (which isn't true to the best of my knowledge) so he is very rude to her should she even try and converse with me.

Finally we have my other housemate, who I have been dating for 3 years. No one else in the house knows except for my male housemate so there is a lot of sneaking around and sly glances.

And me? Just a psych student who could write my entire thesis on the dynamics in this house ;)

I am very happy to be moving out of this situation in the summer, shared housing can be a real head trip.

I will be attending Dinah put probs not the best story. Last year in uni I lived with 4 other people in a house in Brighton, even before we moved in we had problems, one girl dropped out so we had to find someone else, a last minute replacement from the internet. Bad idea. This girl turned out to be the craziest, smelliest, dirtiest, ho bag ever. She eventually left leaving the remaining 4 to pay 6mths rent she owed. But in the 4 or so months she was there she managed to sleep with around 20 guys including a threesome with a 15 and 17 year old boy who stole her mobile phone and £10 or so and a threesome with this random couple. She rarely washed and was a complete hippy. screaming and dancing round the living room at all hours of the night, screaming "BENDER" meaning she wanted to go out and get drunk. One of the other girls totally hated her as she lived in the room next to the living room and also didnt get on with the one gay guy, my best friend. She didn't get his humour so considered it bullying, she moved out but continued to pay the rent. One of the girls the only straight one, was pretty normal northern girl, who studied lots but when drunk was so funny, singing, dancing around, adorable drunk lol. Then there was me, the mediator of the house, who ended up with most of the bills in my name, great as was forever owed money. I was either at uni, at work, in the club or at the cinema, or at home online or watching TV lol

I really doubt I am going to make it to Dinah, but I thought I'd share anyway since I've really never talked about this before and it's so crazy it's like a bad Hollywood movie.  It's rather embarrassing honestly, but hey, I was 18, naive and it was my first girlfriend and first serious relationship.  Unfortunately for me I did not recognize the disaster it most certainly would turn out to be until she had moved in.

I was dating this girl (she was 21) who was in the military.  Being blind and (I thought) in love and all that crap, I totally missed the warning signs that she was a complete psycho.  After a few months of dating she decided she wanted to get out of the military to move in with me (and my mom).  To be fair, she also really didn't want to go to overseas like she was scheduled to.  I told her a number of times though that I didn't think it was a good idea for her to ruin her military career with only a year left.

So, she was going to go the 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' route and exit the military by doing the 'telling'.  And that she did and she moved in with me a few months later (God Bless my mom for putting up with her and being so understanding) and it was pretty much a disaster from day one.

I guess I didn't comprehend the extent of her possessiveness and jealousy until we moved in together.  Just a few examples: She insisted that I did not need to talk to my friends very often (once a month!) and eventually started to hang up the phone while I was talking to them!  Oh, of course, she also had to monitor my conversations as well.  She'd get mad at me when I'd come home from work and take more time saying hello to my cats than her. (Gee, I wonder why I'd be more happy to see them...)

So anyway, we'd go out and, more than once, she'd pull this crap where she'd scream at me to pull over or she'd just jump out of the car and refuse to get back in.  I eventually drove off one time after I was sick of it -- Then when I went back to get her she'd scream at me for leaving her.  [stares off into space]

The end FINALLY came one snowy night when she came home from work and I was on the phone with a friend.  <Gasps!  Oh noes!>  She stormed out of the house without a coat, in just her socks and disappeared into the night.  I waited awhile but eventually went looking for her (cause I was stupid or something) and then had to coax her back in the house like a lost puppy or something.  Only for her to then run out once more after, I assume, seeing my mom looking rather pissed about the whole ordeal.  This time, though, she put on her shoes and coat first.  Ah yeah, preparation for the impending insanity, that's the way to go.

I went out yet again to look for her.  This time I could not find her after about 15 minutes of looking and was slightly worried.  I walked back down the driveway only to find her huddled in a fetal position by the side of my car doing this fake shivering crap like she was going into hypothermia or some shit.

So, yet again we went back in the house and then she started yelling at my mom because my mom was more concerned about me going out without a coat on than her and her 'hypothermia'.  That was it for me.  I don't know how or why I put up with her for the 3 months she lived with us, but when she started talking back to my mom that was it.

She called her parents, that night, who lived up in New England and the first words out of her mouth were, "Help me", followed by manic crying.  OMG, ya think?!  My mom actually talked to her mom, and her mom went on about how she needed help and they tried to get her help when she lived with them.

So, she moved out and went back to her parents and left all her crap with me.  After 6 months of it sitting and numerous emails from me with no response -- I tossed it all.  I did mail her one thing I knew was most important to her though.

And if that were not enough, after about 8 years I received an email from her.  EIGHT YEARS!!  It was nice and said something about how she was trying to get in touch with me for awhile and to please write back even if I didn't want to talk to her.  Just so she could stop trying to find me, I guess.  So hey, I wrote her back being the nice person I am.  I told her I was happy and where I was living now, my career and all that stuff and I wished her the best.

She writes back that she was still in love with me (OMG) and that she wanted to get back together (WTF).  So, I wrote her back explaining I was in a long-term relationship and stuff.  THEN!!! She writes back asking why I talked her into getting out of the military for me!!!  OMG!!

So, I just wrote her back telling her that our relationship was a mistake and we were not good for each other.  I've not heard from her since.  YAY!!!

Long story, but hey, that actually was kind of fun to reminisce about.  Though, still a bit embarrassing.  And holy shit that was long.

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The Vulcan mating season of Pom-far is upon us!
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I got a little carried away and wrote a whole story, but I had some fun with this…

Note: Names have been changed to protect the guilty…and a little more than Lez Girls-style.

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Once upon a time, life at 15 Raspberry Street was a perfect utopia of queerness and chaos. We had the token lesbian, yours truly; the token straight transguy, Jacob; the token straight girl; Lara; and we even managed to be accepting of, gasp, “a bisexual”! Named Kiwi. My straight-male best-friend Ben lived in the apartment upstairs and provided most of the objective perspective I needed on life, unless he was too caught up in his own lesbian drama at the time. To this day, I think Ben has fallen in love with more lesbians than I have; and I have fallen in love with more straight girls than he has even dated.

On any old typical day at the Raspberry Ranch, Kiwi made science projects explode on the living room floor, Jacob gave everyone bear hugs, Lara cooked yummy pies; I hid in my room building models; and Sippy Cup, the schizophrenic kitty, took unsolicited piggy-back rides on each of our backs while we cooked dinner. All in all, life at Raspberry Street was diverse, humorous, and pretty ideal.

Little did I realize that a slow course of events threatened to upset the perfect balance in our queer little utopia.

It all started with a forbidden roommate love affair between Jacob and Kiwi. Kiwi was the hyper poli-sci geek, while Jacob was the more calm and collected engineering nerd. The affair quickly went sour as neither of them were ready for monogamy, but didn’t realize that they weren’t ready for polyamory either. I was caught between them, literally, as my room provided the only separation between their jealous ears. I grew closer to each of them as they tried to pick up the pieces of a friendship that once was. In the meantime, Ben created his own drama upstairs…that didn’t involve me…yet. Ben’s drama involved his unrequited love for She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. …But we’ll just refer to her by her nickname, Loldemort.

Loldemort and I had been acquainted before. In fact, we were familiar with each other long before she threatened my status as lesbian-best-friend to Ben.

I had the pleasure of meeting Loldemort freshman year, when she made the gracious offer to me that “If neither of us meet another single lesbian in our entire college career, I will hook up with you senior year.” It could’ve been a mean statement, except that I felt the same way. From that day on, it was a battle between the two of us for every cute girl we met. Personal perspective is always biased, but from my perspective, it always went like this: I meet girl, I like girl, girl likes me. She finds out girl likes me, she meets girl, she goes after girl. I was the slower type…I wanted to take things easy, get to know her…so I always lost out…at least in the beginning. However, as the old adage says, “slow and steady wins the race.”

Needless to say, Loldemort was my Arch-Enemy.

Back at the ranch, Jacob slowly creeped in on Ben’s position as straight-male best-friend in my life as he tried to comfort me over my loss of Ben’s loyalty. At the same time, tension grew between Jacob and Kiwi. Eventually, Jacob wanted out. He packed his bags and prepared to leave as we frantically looked for a replacement roommate. Against my every wish and plead, the roommates at Raspberry Ranch failed me. They took in…

LOLDEMORT!

I would like to point out that you never quite realize the privilege you have as the sole token lesbian, until someone threatens to take that status away. I mean, it’s a girl-eat-girl world out there!

Our living situation was pretty anti-climactic for awhile, since Loldemort had a knack for kissing up to people she knew couldn’t stand her, and I just hid in my room as usual, ignoring her but still accepting her offerings of candy.

One day, a girl would change everything…much like they often do.

I had a crush on a girl named Amber. Well, more than a crush. I wanted to get to know her, but I did my typical thing. Nice and slow…no sudden movements. I thought Amber and I were getting along just smashingly…but I was in for a rude awakening, when one day, I heard Amber’s voice giggling through Loldemort’s door. I knocked on the door to make my presence known. Amber was shocked and said, “Whoa! I didn’t know you two lived together!”

I discovered that living with your arch-enemy isn’t such a bad thing because you can keep tabs on everyone involved. I also discovered that tabs are not always the best thing to keep. (Ever forgotten your credit card at the bar?) I didn’t really want to know every detail of what happened on Loldemort’s side of the wall.

But so commenced a long, painful, competitive year in which I lived with my lesbian evil twin. It seemed that every girl I was interested in was immediately snatched up by Loldemort…simply because she was more…eeeevil.

(To be fair, some of the girls came back to me eventually after they tired of Loldemort’s evil ways. On the occasion that I did accept the seconds…I assure you; they were not sloppy.)

Many more girls crossed our paths until one day, our fighting climaxed. Loldemort decided to casually hook up with the one ex I was still madly in love with. I was convinced it was a pure and blatant affront to me…a full on attack. After days of fighting and suffering, knowing what was going on just feet away from me, I asked Loldemort to come into my room. As much as I was afraid of her, she was afraid of me too. She imagined doomsday music in her head as I closed the door behind her. The others were in the living room: Lara, Kiwi, Ben.

From the living room, what they heard was the loudest, meanest “girl” fight they had ever imagined.

Punching noises, slapping noises, the works. For all they knew, we were killing eachother.

Just as they had gotten up and were considering intervening to save our lives, we opened the door, walked out calmly, and acted as if nothing had happened.

What did happen in that room?

It turned out that Loldemort had stopped hooking up with my ex, because just as I had once realized, she had also realized: As much as we each liked her…this particular girl was going to drive us mad! In my room, we bonded over our shared experiences and shared insanity. (Nothing like a bad breakup with the same girl to bring two enemies together.) We then decided that we needed to have our first fake fight. - To get the last bits of anger out in a healthy way, and to freak out the rest of the crew. It worked. We both had a good hearty laugh and have been on good terms ever since.

In the end, we had a lot in common. We both liked the same girls; we were both driven to insanity by the same things; and we were both central nodes on our very own “web of shame.”

Ben and Jacob still remain my *two* straight-male best-friends to this day; Loldy and I remain Ben’s two lesbian-best-friends - neither of whom he is in unrequited love with; Lara made Kiwi pie (heh. Pie for Kiwi, not of Kiwi); I don’t refer to any of them by their sexuality or gender identity in real life, and everyone lives happily ever after. Good ol’ Loldy finally met a girl I didn’t have dibs on…and me? I’m still taking it slow and steady, hoping someday the right girl will come along. :)

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Disclaimer to cover my butt: While all of the events depicted represent true events that did indeed occur in my living situation, select events may have been altered in timeframe in order to make the story more cohesive. Also, apologies to anyone involved in the story who happens to reads this...no offense intended, and I hope you can have a good laugh. Heck, you know those days were chock full of even better stories too... :)

Fresh out of college and four years into a relationship my gf and i decided to move in together. I had become close to her parents and extremely close to her younger sister who would often confide in me. Our relationship was solid so we started looking for place. A few weeks into our search we found a brand new three bedroom townhouse in a really nice part of town. The rent was a little high so we asked a mutual friend if she would like to move in with us. Let's call her Jen. Although we were both friends with Jen i would have to say my gf was a lot closer to her. Jen was a pretty interesting person. Her appearance alone would lead you to believe she was gay and her actions towards my gf made people question if she had a crush. Jen always denied her gayness and crush even after she went out and cut/dyed her hair to look like my gf. It wasnt until a few years later that she finally admitted to both. Anyway, back to our living situation. After the single white female incident quieted down things got back to "normal". We all got along really well. Then one night while we were all sitting around watching tv the phone rang. It was my gf's sister. We will call her Meg. Meg wasn't acting like her normal sacrastic self so i asked her if anything was wrong. She went silient then I could hear her crying. So i asked again and she finally spoke up and said I'm pregnant. I almost fell off my chair. She was in her second year of college on the west coast. I calmly told her sister who wasnt so calm at first. At that moment we both decided Meg needed to move back home. We told Meg that she should move in with us and she could use our extra bedroom. Meg agreed. A few weeks later and a few months pregnant she was all moved in. Then the phone rang again.. my gf's parents decided they wanted to sell their brand new house and move back to NY to be close to Meg and their unborn grandchild. The catch.. their house sold already and the house they were buying wasn't quite finished and they needed a place to stay. What could I say?... sure. Our three bedroom townhouse didnt look so big anymore. Thank goodness for fotons. A month before the baby's due date my gf's parents sat us down to tell us good news and bad news(i'm not so sure the good news was so good). Ok bad news... their house had some set backs and wouldnt be ready for another month or so. The good news.. grandma wants to be here for the birth of her great grandchild and she is moving in for a few weeks. Oh and she will be her tomorrow. Okay lets recap... me, gf, jen, moody pregnant sister, parents and grandma in a three bedroom two bathroom townhouse. Oh and three weeks later lets add a baby. Did I mention Italian family? A month and a half after the baby was born jen, grandma, and parents moved out. This had to be the craziest most stressful 5 months of my life. Six years later i can look back and laugh.

We were four, then we became three and needed a new flatmate real quick.  Sadly we were a lazy bunch and didn't fancy looking too hard, so we took the first woman who responded to the note we stuck on the university notice board. She was a little odd, but we all were.

She started getting odder and odder - constantly doing laundry, showering every hour, getting upset at strange noises (that none of us heard) Then she got really strange.

Eventually we other three had a meeting and decided that we would have to ask her to leave.

The next morning I pad out to the kitchen dressed in nothing but a t-shirt and start making coffee.  I think everyone else is out. Then she comes up behind me

'Sandra' she says

'Mmmm' says I, concentrating on my coffee and not her

'last night god talked to me and he told me'

I turned around and there she was holding a very large knife and pointing it at me

My voice was high pitched 'what did god tell you'

'that you're pregnant by the devil and I have to cut it out'

And she lunged at me.  At which point I cut my losses and dove out the open kitchen window and ran as fast as my legs would carry me.......

I went back to the flat - after the police had been and taken her away.  Turns out she was only recently discharged from hospital when she moved in with us. And then stopped taking her meds