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Female tennis coach accused of having "love affair" with 13 year old: UK Media CoverageHas anyone else been angered by the media coverage of the story of a female tennis coach who is accused of engaging in a "lesbian love affair" with her 13 year old tennis prodigy? The case is currently in court and is receiving large amounts of coverage in even the so called "quality" newspapers here in the UK, mainly so they can use the words "lesbian affair" in a headline to get people to read the article. The coach concerned has been named in all the articles and (as she is proclaiming her innocence) has not ducked any of the photographs taken of her as she arrives daily at court. The girl, now 16, and, more precisely, her mother, have not been named so as to protect the child's identity. Our justice system states that one is innocent until proven guilty. the daily coverage of this "news item" has salaciously picked over and reported all of the evidence effectively framing the accused as a perverted monster who shouldn't be allowed near any children. Today, now the defence are finally getting their side in, the more balanced picture could perhaps be becoming apparent, in that the press are reluctantly presenting "facts" that seem to be painting the girl as an unstable fantacist who had made up accusations to her friends about other coaches, an over-competitive mother who would not accept the accused's verdict that her child would not make it as a pro tennis player, and a gap of almost two years between the alledged "discovery" by the mother of the coach and the child in the child's home bed "engaged in lesbian oral sex" and reporting the incident to the police or tennis academy. There has been praise from former pupils reporting on the coach's expertise and ability as a tennis coach, particularly passing on a love of the game. I have been made really angry by the tone of the coverage of this trial. It is as if the seriousness of the accusation has been lent a "not so serious as if it was a male coach" air to it. A sniggering allusion to all tennis players being gay and that being inherently amusing, for some reason, to the wider readership. The reports of the coach claiming under oath to be heterosexual seem to be alluded to with incredulity. One newspaper today gives fewer column inches to two men actually found guilty of raping three girls under the age of 11 than to the "lesbian tennis coach" story. If the coach is found guilty, then the child has been through a terribly traumatic few years and it is no sniggering matter. If found not guilty, the same media, I am sure, will be less keen to publicise the fact that they have been dragging the coach's name through the mud, possibly affecting future employment opportunities and perhaps even affecting her life to a further extent. I await the verdict with interest and hope to see truth and justice prevail. Anyone else been wound up by the coverage of this trial? Submitted by Sal (18 posts) on October 13, 2007 - 9:17am. |
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News, Reviews & Commentary on Lesbian and Bisexual women in Entertainment and the Media
I have never heard of that
I have never heard of that story, but from what you say it does sound like the media are doing a very botched job of covering the story in a professional manner (no surprises there).... Do you by any chance have a link to the story that you are referring to?
What about your mother- your mother earth?
age and love
are things we in the lesbian community cannot safely speak honestly about. we have too much on the line.
a "terribly traumatic few years" because of lesbianism with an older woman or because of the trauma of a trial and a condemning mother and culture?
adults do have dangerous power over teenagers, but i think there is at least enough space to speak honestly about how that power *is* different between male/female and same sex couplings. the most conservative gender analysis will at the very least allow that.
we celebrate movies like "loving annabel," but we are quick to get in line with the real life condemnations of abuse rather than entertain any other possibility.
some teenage girls do have positive, loving relationships with women. is that so dangerous to admit?
Yeah i read it
I've been reading this story ever since it started being in the papers (even though i read it in The Sun which isn't the best paper i know) and to me it sounds like the 16 year old girl and her mum are just lying there whole way through this thing.
But it did annoy me that the tennis coach said the other day something about how she would never be with a girl and that she only likes men! urrgh lol.
wrong is wrong
i cannot speak to the specifics of this trial because i have never heard anything of it. i don't live in the uk but i would imagine that it would be the same sort of nonsense here in the u.s. tabloid headlines sell. are you really surprised by the coverage? ever heard of oj simpson, anna nicole smith, or brittney spears?
if the allegations are true then i think this woman should be punished to the full extent of the law as any child molester would. i never understood the argument that same sex female abuse isn't abuse in the same way that older woman younger man abuse isn't. either way you're still speaking of sexual relations with a child and that's just wrong.
if the allegations are false then i think the mother should be prosecuted and the young woman reprimanded. no one ever fully retains their reputation after such an incident but hopefully the tennis coach (if not guilty) can find a way. the bottom line is that the courts (not the journalists) have to take these things seriously because the one time you could be putting a child in danger.
oh yeah and there's nothing loving about abuse.
Nice post
I am in complete agreement.
_________
"If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact." - Jack Handey
Same-sex paedophilia is still paedophila
If the prosecution can fulfill the burden of proof that the defendant and the plaintiff had a sexual relationship, then this is a case of paedophilia and we should be the first to condemn it as such. The girl is 13, and below the age of consent. This, if proven, is at best statutory rape, and at worst, a case of child abuse and paedophilia. The adult is at fault here for knowingly entering into an inappropriate relationship with a child and a member of her team. It is especially troubling that the woman stated that she had no interest in women sexually, that she was straight. If this is the case, then she preyed on this child because she is a child--She is among the majority of straight paedophiles.
We must remember that paedophilia is not about sex; like rape, it is about control and power. And we must also note that the far right often lumps LGBT people in with paedophilia and beastiality. We cannot waiver in our opposition to these things. We can't say that paedophilia is okay if it is between two females just as we cannot say that it is okay if it is between two males. The gender of the people involved is not a factor in determining the depravity of the act: We must be completely consistent on this issue.
"Brains grow love."--H. H. the Dalai Lama
Blog update! http://blog.myspace.com/ysubassoon
Pedophilia
ysubassoon, pedophilia is a persistent sexual interest in prepubescent children. Someone who is 13 years old is hardly pre-pubescent, so let's not throw that word around haphazardly. This is not a case of pedophilia. I'm not saying it wasn't wrong, but we don't need to cast someone as having a paraphilia that they don't have.
Caitlain's Corner
An Owner's Manual for Your Sexuality
I would say at 13 it depends
I would say at 13 it depends very much on the child! I know I certainly was prepubescent at that age! Though fortunately not unaware of the facts. ;)
"call me old fashioned but I prefer feminism that leaves a little something to the imagination!"
Thanks, gali. That's just the point I was about to make.
Before I say anything else, anyone who has bothered to read other things I have posted on this site knows well that I have never thrown words around. I am, in fact, known for doing just the opposite--I mull over every word I type. I called this as I see it--I believe that if this story proves true, that this woman's intentions are those of a pedophile. Also, as an American, I am aware of the age of consent here, and surely you must know that the age of consent in the UK is just as high as it is in the US. This is only one disparity among many between the developed and developing world. Do you believe that in countries where the age of consent is nine that these girls really are able to give their consent or have any idea to what they consent? Do you think it's okay that in much of the world, children under the age of twelve are married to men as much as four times their age or more? Do these men marry for love? Is there not something horribly rotten in their intentions? Does not the same rot exist in the motivations of an adult woman, a trusted adult, who is three times the age of the student, who initates a sexual relationship with her? Are you as supportive of the members of the clergy who had sexual contact with their same-sex parishoners or female teachers who have sexual relationships with male students as young as 12 or 13? If it is only the adult women-female children that you support, ask yourself why.
I was thirteen once, too, and I don't recall any major difference in emotional maturity from age twelve to thirteen. I was still a child, pubescent though I was. Pubescence does not equal adulthood; in most cases, it doesn't even approach the age of consent. Our bodies are adults before our minds and emotions. I remember the hurry that everyone else was in to have sex at that age, and the shock they had that I was still a virgin at the age of twelve. Of course I am, I said. I'm only twelve. I'm not even close to being ready for that.
I have spent a lot of time as a teacher with students in these age groups, and they all mature physically much faster than anyone did when I was growing up. This has given them the false impression that because they look like adults, they are ready for adult relationships. They are not. I had several promising 8th grade students when I was teaching in Thailand who got married in the summer before ninth grade, and now they are saddled with children they have neither the knowledge nor finances to raise, and are scraping by as their parents did on the equivalent of $2.50 per day. They are without exception married to men at minimum twelve years their senior. No relationship exists with their husbands--They were brought together by lust, and these girls are miserable. This kind of waste of talent and potential makes me angry. The desire of some adults to sully children makes me furious, and the feeling I have is completely justified. If you do not feel the same way, ask yourself why. If the other cases I mentioned above make you feel the same as I do, and yet you are completely at ease in making an exception for a woman and a female child, you need to find the root of your reasoning, because such a position is inconsistent and dangerous.
"Brains grow love."--H. H. the Dalai Lama
Blog update! http://blog.myspace.com/ysubassoon
Nice way to
take a simple correction regarding a specific term and turn in into a supposed support for cross-generational sexual relationships. I said no such thing.
I merely corrected your use of an incorrectly applied term. You may find such relationships distasteful, but the medical/psychological definition of pedophilia is, as I indicated, a persistent desire for sexual relations with prepubescent children. Your distaste for any other form of sexual relationship does not redefine that word and does not allow you to redefine it to suit your purposes. Therefore, I insist you stop using it inappropriately (otherwise, you just make yourself look like an idiot - your call). You may insist that you don't "throw words around" but if you're not doing that, then you are ignorant regarding the true nature of pedophilia.
As for the ability of teenagers of the 13 and 14 year old cohort to make sound, rational decisions about sexuality, I have encountered some who do possess the necessary skill set to make some decisions along those lines when it involves others in their general age range. Not many, obviously, but they do exist. I've counseled hundreds (if not thousands by this point) of kids in these age ranges, and there are some who are quite intelligent and are capable of making such decisions. Conversely, I know 30 year olds who can't tie their own shoes, and I don't feel that they are capable of making rational intelligent decisions when it comes to issues of sexuality. Quite frankly, there are no global paradigms that apply in the area of sexuality.
And, for the record, I do not support lesbian or same-sex cross-generational sexual relationships such as that described in this situation any more than I do those involving heterosexual couples (if for no other reason than the tremendous disparity in life experiences) . I do understand how they work and why they occur, though, and I don't find them surprising in the least.
Caitlain's Corner
An Owner's Manual for Your Sexuality
Though I do not agree with Y
Though I do not agree with Y as to going by legal age of consent, I still feel what age is prepubescent is not set in stone either. So, she is not necessarily wrong in calling a relationship of an adult with a 13 year old paedophilia.
And though I do agree such a relationship if the 13 year old is not prepubescent should officially not be called thus and is not automatically damaging to the child, my experience from conversations with people with such experiences is that the majority does not rate the experience very highly to put it mildly. The fact things occur and can be understood in some ways and are not surprising do not make them necessarily a positive thing.
Being from the Netherlands myself I grew up in a pretty relaxed view of sexuality and used to view things much like you do ( I visited your site) but I have also seen the effects of sexual relationships on persons not ready for this and these effects are extremely shaping and long lasting!
All in all I think such relationships should be looked at on individual bases but certainly not purely on basis of the onset of physical puberty nor on just a "legal" age.
And I have to add, however clever they may be I somehow doubt the extent of rational decision making a 13/14 year old is capable of. There is a legal age for a reason and often based on psychology. Generally speaking as to major life decisions I mean ofcourse.:)
"call me old fashioned but I prefer feminism that leaves a little something to the imagination!"
You better believe...
If it was MY kid, there would be hell to pay. I don't care if it is same sex, opposite sex, son or daughter. A 13 year old who is involved sexually with an adult is a victim and the adult should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. If it was my kid, the adult would be lucky if the law got to him/her first.
A 13 year old cannot have a "love affair" with an adult. And any adult who engages in such actions with a child or who even has a desire to do so, would find themselves in the crosshairs, if they came within an inch of my kid.
It has been said better here.
The Two Percent Company recently took a stand on this issue when a self-proclaimed pedophile activist wrote in to complain about their stance on the age of consent, pedophilia, and other related issues. I found it to be an even more articulate response than my own here in this thread.
*Disclaimer* Their response has some foul language in it, and you can read for yourself in the part of their website labelled "The Score" why that is so.
"Brains grow love."--H. H. the Dalai Lama
Blog update! http://blog.myspace.com/ysubassoon
the p word
ysubassoon, i understand the need for your argument politically. i really do, that's what i meant when i said it often seems like the lesbian community has too much on the line to speak about such relationships honestly.
i agree with caitlain that we shouldn't go throwing around the term "pedophile" too easily. and i think abuse is such an important issue that the word should not be watered down by applying it to potentially consenting relationships. let's not forget that plenty of people in the world still consider all homosexuality inherently abusive and plenty still cosider children and teens who masturbate to be guilty of "self-abuse".
the age of consent varies from country to country. sometimes as low as 12 and certainly varies across time and culture. in some states in the u.s. a woman could be sent to jail for having a relationship with 17-year-old.
speaking only for myself, i was out to my friends and plenty consenting to all sorts of things at 13. i have been lucky enough never to have experienced sexual abuse, only love. if i had to name something that has sexually traumatized me i'd say it has been cultural attitudes regarding the denial of youth sexuality and the shame inflicted on teens who dare to act on instinct rather than convention. i suspect there are other lesbians like myself who now feel silenced about the experiences we had growing up because they do not fit into the framework of abuse, making it quite unpopular to discuss them at all.
I've never hear do the
I've never hear do the story but i ABSOLUTELY ABHOR when the media and/or lawyers use the word "affair" or "love affair" or "sex scandal" etc. to talk about child rape. 13 years cannot consent to sexual contact with adults which is why it's rape-- how hard is that for the media to get.
I'm glad there's a fair trial going on, because it's not fair for the innocent and even for the guilty whether a shoplifter, pedophile or international terrorist.