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Should I have spanked my daughter?Last week in a perfect Mombian storm my daughter ended up getting a serious spanking. The bottom line (no pun intended) is my daughter was punished for what I deemed extremely dangerous behavior in direct defiance of my explicit instructions with what is the exceptional thermonuclear punishment in our home—spanked on her bare rear with the back of a hairbrush.
The subject has been raging on my blog. The consensus of most gay Moms is that it was the right thing to do--which mkes me feel better. Appreciate any input.
The start of the story is here:Should I have spanked my daughter? Submitted by Becky C. (87 posts) on July 31, 2007 - 6:16am. |
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Spanking- no not that type ;)
Becky,
I can't have a very informed view on this topic because firstly, I'm not a mother and secondly I don't know much about spanking. From what I've read it seems your spanking was due to care and concern for your daughter, and I believe you were justified to spank her in order to protect her. As the old saying goes it's better to be safe than sorry. My parents spanked me and I have no regrets. I'd rather be spanked than neglected or ignored for negligent behavior. You obviously have her long term interests in mind.
Also, I don't think anyone apart from a mother can really know what's best for her child. As a mother you've gone through 9 months of caring and nourishing for your child plus the pain, joy and anxiety associated with child birth. So, personally, I don't think a few moments of pain for your daughter can wipe out the months and years of sacrifice that a mother has to go through. In summary, I don't think I have a right to judge your decision, but if I did I would agree with it.
Wishing you all the best.
if you talked to your child
if you talked to your child once , twice and warned him/her about the consequences , and still dont get the kid to obey , then yea SPANK THAT KID :D
no seriously there's nothing wrong with it , as long as its justified! you have to explain things first , dont forbid things without explaning why . like :
" dont do this!!! "
" why mom ? "
" BECAUUUUUSSEEE"
thats unfair and the kid wont even knwo why doing " this" is wrong, he/ she 'll think its unfair and will do it anyway.
kid are curious and they like challenge, they always try to see their limits and of course YOUR limits too !
if your daughter knew it was for her own good, and to make her safe then she knows you were right , and they she deserved a punishment!
Comme disait Jeanne D'Arc : " tu verras de quel bois je me chauffe " ;)
just one opinion!
Well, I have to disagree.
I read the story on your blog and understand your worry but it wasn't clear in how far you explained to your daughter why she shouldn't play there but even so, personally I think spanking a ten year old with the back of a brush on her bare bottom like that only serves to humiliate. Kids will do stupid and dangerous stuff.
I think the only thing you can do as a parent is try to install independent thinking on cause and effect. I mean cause- playing in a dangerous spot, effect- you might get killed. rather than cause- my mom's mad, effect-I get humiliated .
There will come a point where your daughter will rebel against you anyway! What do you want her to see as the effect of her actions then? Your punishment ( which at that point will not impress her)or her seeing the actual danger of her actions?
"call me old fashioned but I prefer feminism that leaves a little something to the imagination!"
My opinion
my take on spanking
When I witness someone
When I witness someone paddling or spanking or whatever nice word you want to call abusing, I want to kick the crap out of the abuser. Why? Because I was taught violence solves everything, including stupidity.
Notice a pattern....
Spanking
I just wanted to input my little story.. as a child, I got my fair share of spankings and I turned out pretty ok. Those spankings made me think twice about doing things that a little timeout wouldn't have.
I'm all for spanking your child, it gives them character lol. No really, you shouldn't spank your child over everything, but sometimes, a timeout is not going to cut it. I mean really, what's 5 minutes in the corner going to accomplish for a kid who constantly gets into trouble. Or a stern talking to? I've been to the grocery store, we all have and seen that one kid walk all over their parents making a scene... then what, they beg their kids to stop and give them what they want. C, I'm about action when it happens, not waiting to you drive all the way home to put your child in a corner...
Before I ramble anymore, I'll just say that people have different ways to discipline their kids.. some find a way without spankings.. Spank your child.. not abuse them, there is a diiference and a few smacks on the rear doesn't traumatize them for life. They'll get over it, they'll know not to do it again.
The microphone wet cuz my words like seduction -Lil Wayne
Exactly....
..my story exactly.
But I never feared a spanking for the pain of it, it was never that hard.
It was the rest that went with it...disappointing Mom and Dad (this was the primary offense usually, I really was "raised better" most of time), loss of priviledges. Maybe it's just me?
"Great minds think alike. They just don't always reach the same conclusion" - stolen from the Little Dutch Girl
no violence
I really don't agree that spanking or slapping or otherwise is jusitified, especially not when your daughter is ten years old and can thus verbally communicate. I've seen several situations where toddlers got spanked by their mothers after they had almost gotten themselves killed by running on the street: maybe in such cases, this action is about the best option. I don't know.
However, what were you trying to teach your daughter by spanking? And why did it have to be in such a humiliating manner? What will she learn from being hit by you that is more valuable or lasting than what she would learn by other, nonviolent measures of punishment? That you have some kind of control over her body?
I'm pretty sure you meant to do what's best. From what I read on your blog, the situation happened in the context of you being frustrated after being cussed out by another mother and worked up after watching TV. If you must hit to parent, maybe try to not let previous experiences and emotions interfere that much.
Thank you
Thank you everyone for your comments.
Even though this was an extreme spanking I am now secure in that it was justified under the partiular circumstances I mentioned. It worked for us.
I appreciate the comments of everyone. I know this is a controversial issue.
But I am especially gratfied by those (women, men, gay , straight) who are not afraid to admit in this day and age that spanking may have a legitimate role in raising kids.
Rock on, mama. I'd be happy
TY
You should apologize to your daughter, end violations of her
I host a website, www.nopaddle.com, about school paddling as physical abuse, sexual abuse, and sexual harassment. Many of those same issues spill over into home spanking. I am also the father of a son and daughter, and now the grandfather to two beautiful girls.
I grew up with "Old Testawhackalism," so I understand your reaction. I think you also meant well. Nonetheless I believe your discipline did far more harm to your daughter, most of it deeply hidden even from her at this point, than good.
I know that no child ever "needs" to be spanked, and there are many other ways to discipline children, often without punishment, once spanking is off the table, but if you do decide you must spank, your daughter should always be fully clothed, to say the least, unless you are deliberately trying to instill a lifelong masochism or spanking love map into her. That will be a risk even from the one incidence already, regardless of your intentions. If you are in denial over the sexaul aspects, would you provide a photo of your next bare butt spanking of her and post it here? What if she had her panties on, would it be ok then? Would it be ok if I or others spanked her the same way, and if not, why not?
Some falsely believe children of age ten are "sexless," but I suspect most readers here would admit otherwise. Some of us forget. That does not mean fully formed sexual understanding, but certainly sexual feelings and awareness run high with her right now.
Raising children without spanking and violation is a choice the parent makes ahead of time, and has nothing to do with individual children.
For those who care, Jesus and the New Testament, by the way, never once spanks any child or teaches anyone else to.
You should apologize to your daughter, promise to never hit her again, and explain that mommy was raised that way and that is what seemed the right thing to do. Assure her you meant well and were only worried about her, but as you looked deeper into it you decided spanking was very wrong, and you will never do it again. You will find other nonviolent and non-violating ways to work out future problems.
And there will be future problems. You teach your daughter her own self worth, her own sexual dignity, and to not let anyone else molest her in her "underwear area," if you yourself respect her in those ways even when, and especially when, she "deserves it."
In "Slaughter of the Innocents, Child abuse through the ages," the author noted that one of the primary risk factors of a child being sexually abused was that the mother still spanked at age 12. These children are about six times more likely to be sexually abused, as you yourself, whether you mean well or not, are the one providing the grooming techniques for other adults who may be overt molesters. Even if she never encounters such a person, your spanking itself creates unhealthy lovemaps and it breaks down the ability to have open conversations with her about private problems and "sins" she may be trying to deal with.
Peace,
Jeff Charles, Jeff1844@aol.com
so tell me
what do u do when ur child thinks of your discipline as nothing more than a joke and they're 6 and 7 years old and you've become afraid of them? Do you just go on the Montel Williams show or call the Nanny and let other people control your kids for you when all they really need was a spank on their butt the first time they tried to test ur authority?
Can you explain further what kind of "discipline without punishment" you teach, cuz I'd be interested to read about it.
In many cases, I really believe that you're reading far too much into a spank creating a sexual abuse scenario that isn't really there. Yes, sometimes parents go too far, but to say that her self worth and self dignity are compromised is a stretch to say the least.
The microphone wet cuz my words like seduction -Lil Wayne
...
what do u do when ur child thinks of your discipline as nothing more than a joke and they're 6 and 7 years old and you've become afraid of them?
Afraid of one's own kids at 6 or 7? I think it's past time that parent realizes they're probably not a very good parent if their own child is that out of control at that age. Either that, or they have some sort of untreated medical condition.
Spanking a child does not automatically make them better disciplined then children who were never spanked. Some kids may need more strict discipline, but spanking is not going to always be the answer.
let me try
to rephrase that. I never meant that spanking makes for better disciplined children, cuz in all reality, if talking to ur child works, do what u do.. but if u try to put little bobby in timeout and talk to him and all he does is punch u in ya face and you don't understand y the talk isn't working, it's time to do something new, like turn his little ass upside down and spank him.
I think I said before, not all cases are a cause for a spank, but sometimes, it's gets the point across a lot quicker and effective than a sit in the naughty chair.
The microphone wet cuz my words like seduction -Lil Wayne
No Evidence
There is absolutely no evidence of this. It is based upon some Neo-Freudian thought, and we all know how perceptive the good doctor always was (like penis envy).
There is an assumption that parental spanking must have some type of warped sexual effect, because it is quite true, with adults there often is an erotic interest in it. That is a totally different thing. I wish I could cite the study for you, but I can not find it right now, but some researchers found that most adults who had an erotic interest in spanking were either never spanked as kids, or spanked very little.
Besides, as I said, it is a totally different thing, and I think it is in-the-gutter thinking that causes people to come to the conclusion there is anything sexually abusive about an ordinary parental spanking.
Weighing In
I understand
I understand what you are saying--but this was an exceptional thing for us-- which I am convinced the facts justified.
I do have a child who does respond to spanking. But this was a nuclear spanking.
I want to make it clear the type of spanking was an exceptional one because of the circumstances--and yes, my immediate intent was to make her butt very sore. And like you say, she did have some sitting issues for a few hours--which in my mind gave her the opportunity to reflect and for the message to sink in.
dont worry ! you did the
dont worry ! you did the right thing !! whenever someone post something , some people dont read it all , you said that you TALKED first, and teach your daughter whats wrong ad what right! so of course its betetr if problems are solved with words only , but everyone knows that its just THEORY! kids dont always get words!!!!! you talk to them everyday , and sometimes its just not enough ... what to do ? keep repeating the samething all over again? lol
my mom always talked to me , took her time to tell me what i should and shouldnt do . ii was a good girl so most of the time i listened ... an sometimes not , just like every other kid . so yea i 've been spanked , and yes , i claim that my mom was right to do so !
i know she hated to do this , because its never easy for a mom or a dad who loves their kid to hurt their child , but if they did it for their kid's good , then they should never feel ashamed of being caring parents !
people shouldnt compare parents who wants to protect their kids and parents who abuse their kids!!!
keep on the good work you're doing with your kid ;)
Comme disait Jeanne D'Arc : " tu verras de quel bois je me chauffe " ;)
Talking
It is nice you mentioned talking.
You see, in general, at least with my daughter, I actually think that talking about things works most of the time. But, there are times for consequences and punishment. I have found that stuff like time outs, restrictions , loss of use of computer or TV, are less effective than spanking, and I also think they are actually MORE MEAN.
If I spank--the point is made, the air is cleared and we can move on. All the other stuff drags on.
So, I think my daughter is punished less than most kids, however she is probably spanked more.
yea i mention talking
yea i mention talking because its the most important part of all relationships , friendship , love relationships, and family . And as a good mom , you give " talking" the priority ! and that great ! thats what anyone should do when they hav a problem .
but yea as you said there are different ways to make a kid understand what they did was wrong : restrictions , loss of tv etc . and it works with some kids , and doesnt with other kids ... every kid is different , every parents too.
the first way to solve things is talking , but when its not enough , each parents have to find what works with their kids.
sometimes , kids of the same family , with the same education dont react the same to punishment and the parenst have to behave differently because the kids have different personnalities and parents have to deal with it by finding the right solution for each kid.
glad you found YOUR way :)
Comme disait Jeanne D'Arc : " tu verras de quel bois je me chauffe " ;)
I guess I just can't
Spanking
Becky, speaking as a lesbian mom, I think you did the right thing. When my children were little, they got spanked if they did something that they knew was wrong and they turned out just fine. There's a BIG difference between spanking and beating. my personal opinion on the subject is this. If more parents spanked their kids when they needed it, there wouldn't be so many unrulely kids today, telling their parents what to do. I bet most of us grew up with spankings and for the most part, we turned out just fine. Don't beat yourself up about it.
a lot agree
A tough one
beating
I know what a beating is. I spent several years as a prosecutor specializing in domestic violence, sex crimes, and child abuse.
A spanking is not a beating. And just because it is a pants down spanking does not turn it into a beating.
even if it isnt a beating,
I agree.
I am not saying that spanking or a pants down spanking is a beating.
(This got out of order. I am responding to Becky's post, not madandlovely's.)
Just for your consideration!
Just for your consideration! Have you thought about why you felt so insecure about your action that you felt the need to look for validation?
Also I think you will find there are plenty of studies out there as to whether spanking "drags on" or not!
Personally I was only once slapped by my dad. It was in the face and I know I was 16 and had deliberatedly "pushed" him into it but till this day, almost 30 years later, I can tell you there is nothing that makes me blind with rage as effectively and quickly as a slap in the face! And it is the humiliating part of it that does that! So, yeah, it can sure "drag on" in some personalities.
"call me old fashioned but I prefer feminism that leaves a little something to the imagination!"
I didn't
Just my two cents
I know spanking isn't politically correct, and a lot of us in the GLBT community are very concerned with political correctness, but just speaking for myself....
YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!
congrats
If physical punishment were directed against another adult, it would be called assault and battery and that's illegal. Currently most European countries, Israel, Japan and many others prohibit physical punishment of children by law. Physical punishment by school staff is illegal in all countries except the United States and South Africa. On the brighter side it is currently prohibited by the State Board of Education in 37 out of 50 states.
Nowhere else in society is violence tolerated except against children. The fact you would hit your daughter with her pants down indicates you are a sexual sadist. Enjoy living in ignorance on your blog full of women who don't have the balls to say you're a fucking idiot for hitting your kid. Don't be surprised when she grows up and realizes you're a fucking idiot and you never see her again once she moves away.
Since you don't know me
Since you don't know me, it is really not nice to comment on my intelligence. And though it is the voted on position of the American Academy of Pediatrics, it is far from being a universal position, and not even of the task force that did the study which resulted in their position. There is a strong minority view,The vote was a political thing. Spanking is not popular with the mass media and the the pop psychologists.
I have actually done quite a bit of research on the issue. Despite the assumption in the press and accordingly with a lot of people, the studies and research, that have found that spanking will make your child into some kind of psychopath, and is responsible for many of the ills of the world--in actuality the studies are at best inconclusive. The researchers themselves admit this, and fall back on the intuitive feeling that spanking is not a good thing.
There are actually a couple of studies , which were methodologically and statistically more sound which found that spanking not only does not make a child violent but is the very BEST way to get children to comply with their parent's wishes (compared to other punishments/consequences such as timeout.)
Of course, you never hear about those studies, they do not fit into the popular assumption of the media.
As I mentioned to someone else here, I am actually considered a pretty loose and curnchy parent, I actually believe most often TALK works just fine. But there comes a time when there have to consequences and punishment. I have found that my child responds best to spanking. I also think it is LESS MEAN than this other stuff--the spanking is over quickly, the point is made and we can move on.
You really shouldn't assume because a bunch of guys have degrees they have a monopoly on intelligence or the facts.
I also think it is interesting that the two strongest condemnations of spanking came from guys. I know that not all women agree with spanking. But both here and on my blog it has been the guys, who have really never been in the trenches, nor have any valid maternal instinct, that are so strongly against it.
Well put...
..the spanking was the "preferred punishment" amongst myself and my brothers - it wasn't that bad, over quickly....moving right along.
If the point is to correct behavior, not to respond in anger, the longer punishments (loss of priviledges) can work great ...at a certain age this is the only way to go.
"Great minds think alike. They just don't always reach the same conclusion" - stolen from the Little Dutch Girl
Bare bottom spanking
I sure did open up a fine kettle of fish here But with this whole topic I am not surprised
Call me naive, but I really don't see how a child exposing their rear to their mother, for a minute or two, is all that humiliating. After all I have changed their diapers a few times.
Any punishment (spanking or not) is inherently humiliating. I don't believe humiliation should ever be the goal. My sole intent was to make her rear as sore as possible, within reason.
I know as a kid the times I got a pants down spanking it made a deep impression on me. Of course it hurt more. But somehow it was much more serious thing and I knew Mom really meant business this time.
Now there are famililies where nudity is so taboo that this would be a terribly embarrassing thing. We are not that way.
Humiliation has to do with
Humiliation has to do with the sense of self and of that self in relation to others. And humiliating someone is the attempt to break down that sense of self! It has little to do with the nudity itself or for who's eyes that nudity is displayed.
If you sole intent was to hurt her bottom big time do you really think the underpants was such a buffer to the brush? I don't think so, nor do the laws of physics and a ten year old of normal intelligence knows this also. Hence it was an additional punishment of humiliation!
"call me old fashioned but I prefer feminism that leaves a little something to the imagination!"
Humiliation not always bad
Humiliation has to do with the sense of self and of that self in relation to others. And humiliating someone is the attempt to break down that sense of self! It has little to do with the nudity itself or for who's eyes that nudity is displayed.
Have you ever considered that sometimes that is exactly what is needed when a kid is acting too big for his/her britches--to have the sense of self broken down? "Humiliation" is from the same root as "humble." That's not an accident. Humiliation is always unpleasant, but that doesn't mean it is always bad.
What ever happened to RESPECT?!
Referring to Johnny Doe's comment: It's quite obvious that we all have different opinions when it comes to child rearing and punishment and I respect every ones ideas even if I do not agree with it. But how can you sit there and write such horrible comments? Do you even know the meaning of a sexual sadist, well if you did you would know in no way is Mrs. BeckyC. displaying any such character. You complain that she is being ignorant yet you have no knowledge of what she is saying. Before writing such hurtful words take in to consideration her dilemma and be it if you agree with it or not realize that first of all you were not there, you have no idea how her daughter felt about the situation or the personality of her mother.
I was punished by spanking as a kid by my mother and by teachers, its one thing to have a non-family member spank/beat you than your own mother. I felt abused by my teachers but never by my mother. My mother as well hit me with a brush and I turned out fine. I have to admit depending on a child's mentality anywhere from age 10 and up it might become embarrassing for a child to pull there pants down to get beaten. Becky I understand you want to do right for your child and you love her but please realize that soon (not now) this form of punishment will need to be stopped. And for everyone else who is so concerned, since communication is apparent in her family I am sure her daughter will let her know how she feels about it if it were a problem. One’s experience is not always going to be the same with the next. One person might have been punished with out spanking and might have turned out ok and one person might not have a problem pulling their pants down to get spanked at the age of 18 and may turn out perfectly fine but this does not mean this is he same for every one.
BeckyC keep doing what you are doing as long as love and care is in your heart and you know what you are doing (which you do) keep doing it and do not let ignorant comments get to you. This is a place fore respecting each other and their thoughts so people please lets keep it that way!Actually it's only because I
Actually it's only because I kinda liked you and because I am generally a pretty polite person that I stayed pretty mild in my comments but I feel as strongly about your action as said guys! If you are not looking for validation why did you say "Even though this was an extreme spanking I am now secure in that it was justified"
Personally I believe a slap with the hand on the diaper can be effective but that is a far cry from what you doled out! I agree many people grew up being "corrected"in this fashion and didn't grow up to be psychopaths, just very compliant and always needing "strong leadership".
Btw "talking" is as loose a concept as "spanking" . From who I am and how I was raised I assumed when you said you talked to your daughter you meant you told her that you didn't want her to play there because it was dangerous and explained what the danger was but now I think most likely you meant by talking that you told her only that you didn't want her to play there and she would be punished if she did or something to that effect!
But you know, it's your right to go with the opinion of a few "well adjusted"members of society ( who purely accidentally were all "disciplined" in this fashion when young)! Some "guys with degrees" couldn't possibly be more knowledgeable then a couple of anonymous posters on the internet.
And from a lesbian activist point of view, great how you brought this conclusion of yours how most lesbian moms approve of hitting a ten year old on the bare bottom with the back of a hairbrush to a public, fairly known site! Perhaps in a few weeks or months or whenever there is a debate on gay adoptions you can start a thread on how the right wing people claim lesbians tend to beat their children more than straight moms! Maybe you can do us all a favour and put up the actual numbers?
Hope this goes somewhat against your guy protesters theory. But you can always just claim I have no maternal instincts!
"call me old fashioned but I prefer feminism that leaves a little something to the imagination!"
Excuse me, Miss,
I as an anonomous poster am more knowledgable than all those "guys with degrees". :)
I'm just sayin'.
"Great minds think alike. They just don't always reach the same conclusion" - stolen from the Little Dutch Girl
hey!
Quit stalking me! Or I will change my avatar! ;)
"call me old fashioned but I prefer feminism that leaves a little something to the imagination!"
Foiled!
..but not defeated
"Great minds think alike. They just don't always reach the same conclusion" - stolen from the Little Dutch Girl
Like you too
People get more hysterical on this issue (on both sides) than on the existence of god or global warming:)
My observation about most mothers being pro-spanking on this, was obviously unscientific, and I never thought of it as anything more, Go to the blog if you want to tally numbers.It really means nothing--but I found it interesting that the most ardent opponents were guys.
No type of feminist argument was intended.
But my claim is as scientific as the studies that conclude spanking is not only ineffective, but makes a kid into a psychopath and is responsible for much of the ills of the world.
And I expected someone to say that the reason I posted this was because I needed validation. That is a crock.
But I do also like you, and your opinions, just don't agree here.
this is funny..
Johnny Doe said that "Physical punishment by school staff is illegal in all countries except the United States and South Africa"
that's incorrect. I won't, comment on any other part of that ridiculous argument there. But I will say, as a child who was spanked, put in a corner, and also grounded.. the spanking is what had the most affect on me. And what it hurt for all of 10 seconds, and yes those 10 seconds destroyed my life and made me a sheep incapable of leadership and love. I now fear belts and refuse to wear them and I can not be within ten feet of my parents for fear of nightmares. (Catch the sarcasm here)
I got spanked naked, and you know what I was thinking, "oh shit, this is gonna hurt" not, "how degrading I will never be able to look my parents in the face again" Then again, I did kinda break the shower curtain that day and my parents weren't going to wait until I got dressed to put my in a corner or spank me when I had on clothes.
Although, I do think spanking should be stopped at a certain age because it no longer has that effect on a child. I truly believe that most people on this thread have been seriously reading into a spanking way too much, analyzing it. Maybe that's borne of previous bad experiences and I'm sorry that bad things may have happened, but a spanking was the thing that kept me from lighting my house on fire when a timeout wouldn't. (probably not the best example, but it's tru)
But who knows, maybe that spanking I got when I was 6 is the reason I'm into S&M now..
The microphone wet cuz my words like seduction -Lil Wayne
LOL
"a spanking was the thing that kept me from lighting the house on fire when a time out wouldn't. ( probably not the best example, but it's tru)"
Ring , ring, it's the clue phone calling!
Funny thing. I never got spanked and I never felt the urge to set fire to my house either! Nor did I almost do such a thing accidentally. Perhaps because my parents didn't leave matches or lighters lying around when I was really small and later on took the time to explain about fire. How it's starts, why it's dangerous and how to put it out. But that was probably because they had time to do that since they weren't busy hitting/spanking/batting or whatever name you want to give it!
"call me old fashioned but I prefer feminism that leaves a little something to the imagination!"
hahaha.. sigh
what can i say, i was a child who did things just to see why i wasn't supposed to. I had to learn the hard way. Being an 8,9,10 year old with a father who smoked gave me access to lighters. yeah, sure did. yeah, he layed them around me, and after i burnt a hole in my carpet and got spanked, I never touched it again. I could have slept next to it and not touched it anymore.
Long before that, they explained about fire, I saw my neighbor's house burn up.. But, me being me, I just liked to push when I maybe shouldn't have..until I got spanked. Me getting spanked is not what caused me to want to play with fire. Me getting spanked made me think twice about doing it.
And you're exactly right Gali, my parents didn't teach me a damn thing about safety or sit me down to help me understand why to do certain things were wrong. That's exactly why I'm out on the streets everynight shooting people just like all my other friends who keep getting killed. They paid no attention to me unless it was to beat me and now I'm bitter and angry.
Where I'm from, getting that spanking the first time you do something wrong is sometimes what keeps you from making a big mistake later on. It taught me to think twice about my actions bcuz sometimes choices make u end up hurt. Getting spanked meant that your parents were actually paying attention to you when a hell of a lot of other kids' parents didn't give a damn either way. "hey, don't do that, it's wrong." and then kept going on like nothing happened.
I turned out just fine and dandy as well as a lot of other people I know. I'm not broken inside because someone slapped me on my ass. I'm not a violent and aggressive criminal because I feel the need to take it out on the world because I got spanked. Yes, I will spank my kids when they get out of line if need be, and if someone tells me that i can't do it, then I'll just politely punch them in the face bcuz that's what people who get spankings do when they get older.
The microphone wet cuz my words like seduction -Lil Wayne
Hah!
While I don't agree fully with spanking...
thank you
I'm glad you appreciate my sarcasm and wit, even if we are not on the same side of the issue.
The microphone wet cuz my words like seduction -Lil Wayne
Well, I might call it
Well, I might call it awesome or wit if she hadn't just been paraphrasing "Newbie" from an earlier comment in this very thread (a comment I thought was actually awesome and witty), accidentally posted right before one of her comments!
As for Lanna J 's comment, I guess it all depends on what you compare something to. Compared to a dime I am sure a quarter seems like a lot. In the same light compared to a parent who doesn't give a damn, one who beats you up may seem like really parenting. And compared to a criminal who goes around shooting people, punching people in the face who criticize you may seem like you "turned out all right" .
But you know, we all live by our own standards!
"call me old fashioned but I prefer feminism that leaves a little something to the imagination!"