Confused? Well... yes! I've never really thought about my sexuality, always assumed I was straight, until one day I fell in love with a woman. I was shocked. I had a very hard time coping with it, because she was my teacher (I was about 20 and she was 34ish) and to everyone it was obvious that she really liked me (as a student, that is). I could've told her anything, except that one bit about sexuality, since she is a rather strict Christian and didn't want to know homosexuality exists. She really didn't like one of my friends just because he's gay. I know, you don't want to be in love with such a person, but it happened and I didn't know what to do. Now I'm 23 and more or less over it. Still, whenever I see someone who looks like her, I feel my heart beating faster. I have fallen in love again, unfortunately with another straight girl, so it's not going to work. Anyway, I'm confused. I've never thought more about it than I do now. Thank God I've got a very good friend who's like my 2nd mom and is married to a woman, so I can talk to her about it. I told her last week that I don't believe I'm a lesbian, but that I think I'm bi. But when do you know? And when do you call yourself bi? I'm not very experienced with guys (do like 'em :P) and not at all with girls. So yes, I'm a little confused. :)

(Gee, it's nice to be able to tell this story!)

hey girls, i use to have the same problem. didt know if i am bi or les.but i alway try to convince myself that i am bi even when i have never like guys before( even date a guy for a couple of years just to convince myself). but who am i kidding... i guess i knew that i am totally into women from the beginning but some part of me didt want to accept it. So if u are not attracted/interested in a guy then there a good chance that u are leaning toward being a les but since this is news to you it might take some time before u could accept it. with time u will know for sure and begin to accept it.(just what i think).

anyway...i am definaly a LESBIAN! (me and my gf have been together for 6+ beautyful years and counting...)and i am glad im not kidding myself anymore!

I've never wondered about that. You just know it, you feel it.

when I was 13 a friend of mine asked me if I was bi, and I answered that i didn't think so. At that moment I couldn't even think at the posibility of not being straight.  Llater i realised I was gay, and I remembered what she said. It didn't make me think in a different way, I was (and I am) LESBIAN!

in my opinion, and i don't wanna judje anyone, I think that people who don't kknow if yhey're bi or gay don't wanna admit the way they are ( I think it also happens with being straight and gay, it happened to me). If you find out your real feelings and accept yourself, sure everything else will be more clear for you :-)

you might not be gay, and just learning about your sexuality by butting up against your boundaries to determine what those boundaries are exactly. Women have been considered more flexible sexually, and at the same time, it's much more accepted to have lesbisexual encounters when you're young.

Sounds like experience will tell. So I guess you'll have to think less and do more :-)

I read these posts and it feels to me like you are trying so hard to put a label on your sexuality when maybe it hasn't been fully defined yet.  When I say that, I am not trying to belittle your experiences or say that what you have felt is anything but beautiful and extrordinary.  Trust me these are moments that you will remember for the rest of your life!  But to take these few moments and use them to chisle out in granite your idenity "I AM A ______!" might be a bit much right now.  Which is why you are in the "confused" category.

My advise is to relax and just simply meet people and enjoy them and when you find the ones that make your insides feel like there is a fireworks show going on in there then make note if it is guy or gal.  Some folks will find that they have true fireworks with one or the other, some are able to find it with both.  But the first key is to make sure that you know the difference between LETTING the feeling happen versus FORCING the feeling to exist.

The next step is a bit trickier, that is knowing when it is safe and healthy to ACT on the feeling.  It is ok to feel that fireworks feeling and understand that it isn't safe or healthy to ACT on that feeling.............trust me it doesn't make you any less gay, straight, or bi.  If you are young and find yourself absolutely WOWED by your 40 year old teacher who is in a committed relationship (married or otherwise) trust me that is one to simply make a note to yourself but that is not a SAFE or HEALTHY one to pursue. 

But feel free to enjoy the fireworks inside and make a note to yourself as over time you will have enough knowledge about yourself to truly etch your identity in chalk just like the rest of us.

It's not that I'm afraid to admit I'm bisexual, definitely not. I've already told many people (e.g. my mom) I probably am, it's more the question whether you decide for yourself that you are. Some people decide to call themselves bi when they are attracted to the same sex, others call themselves straight even though they have same-sex affairs...

As far as the 'stop thinking, start doing' comment: I have a date this week with a very lovely girl :D And at the start of July I'm going out with about 10 lovely girls, lol! :D

(thanks for your reactions!)

I agree with Uneek's post (well-said by the way) and the idea that some of you might be a bit hung up on labels.  Sure, it would be convenient to know if you are gay or bi but I think time will tell if you just follow your heart.  The fact that you all aren't fighting against it and are open to the possibility of being gay or bi will go along way in helping you find your answers.  Open your eyes, minds, and hearts and allow yourselves to be attracted to who you're attracted to.  If you fall for a woman- great.  If you fall for a man- great.  I really think one's sexuality lies on a continuum.  Some women are strictly gay, some straight, some bi, some- if you get enough liquor in them, will go for whomever, and some might be mostly gay but occassionaly fall for an opposit sex.  It's all good.

 Be open and follow your hearts.  And GO FOR IT!

I've always wondered about something.

What would you classify a woman that only sleeps ONLY with men NEVER with a woman but makes-out with women and has relationships with women.

Does that even make sense? Lol.

Michelle 8)

Okay I posted a question before for y'all to think about, this is the same question but with more explanation.

Okay so here we have two females----Artemis and Ella. They both are seeing one another (In a relationship). They no doubt prefer women over men. They go to movies, dinners, vacations, walk their dogs, make out /kiss together, and everything else in between. They both are very much in LOVE with one another, but here's the catch they DO NOT have sex with each other/ with women period. But they do have sex (Thank God!), instead with MEN. Now they have no feelings/ any attraction to any of these men they are sleeping with. Insanely enough they would go as far as placing a paper bag over the men's faces and duck-tape their mouths to avoid seeing or hearing any sounds these males make, while the women "Tap IT". At the end of it all the two women would go back home and sleep on the same bed together, like married couples do.

So now tell me, how would you label these two women's sexual orientation? Straight, Bisexual, Lesbian, or None of the Above?

Michelle 8)

It’s about the butterflies in the stomach bit.  Well, for starters, I’ve had the feeling, and yes for a girl, I thought it was just a fluke, but then I started to get the feeling with other girls I meet.  What’s bothering me is that I’ve never felt like this with a guy, even with my previous boyfriends...  didn’t even thought the feeling really existed until recently. Always thought it was just a metaphor or something.  I’ve never felt the rush whenever I stare at guys but with girls, it’s just not the same.  I’m 22, and I’ve just recently been feeling this way, or better put, started to acknowledge these feelings of mine.  Can you tell me..  do i prefer boys to girls?

I am 21 and engaged. We have been together for several years and I moved across the country to be with him. However... I have gotten less and less attracted to him. He is an amazing guy but I feel like all I want is a woman in my life. I am SO scared because he had some emotional issues and i can't bear to hurt him or cause him pain but I don't want to spend my life in a lie. I can't talk to any of my friends because they either know my family or my fiance and its just.... I feel alone and confused. I just need help.

Thanks...

okay this is my story..

All throughout middle school i dated boys..but it was wierd id have dreams about gay sex and would sneak around into my brothers playboys..i found myself wanting to look at naked girls..even though i had a boyfriend...idk well dated a few more dudes until this time of the year..in 2005.

It was halloween and my beau invited me to a halloween party that his gay friend (best friend :|) was throwing..intially i thought id set her up with one of my gay friends..but when i met her idk its like the whole room spun around  and the only thing i could see was her..i caught myself staring and being lost in why i was staring!

Well she introduced herself and we hung out a few times after..ate lunch had ice cream went to the mall...all while im venting to her about how much of a jerk my man was (mind you her best guy friend) i cried for him to her ..she gave me advice until one night we were in my car just enjoying the aftermath of a quick smokesesh and i moved my hand to change the radio station, and it ended up on her hand..

then we kissed and i freaked out and jet home..

we didnt talk for a few days and i ended it with the dude because i was so freaked out..but anyway to make a long story short i took the plunge finally persued my attractin to girls and stuck with it..i am a lesbian some say 120% lol..but i clearly understand where this comes from...sexuality for some is something just natural that the way you were born..but for some we struggle because its not what was taught as " right or normal" i went through hell got sent away to a foreign country for a whole entire summer because of what i had "done"..its tough but we are who we are,..fighting it takes too much energy :)