"Work Out" Recaps: Episode 205

Laurie gets worked over — While Doug is recuperating, Jackie trains Laurie in his absence. Her style is a little different from his. While Doug wanted nothing less than to be her BFF, Jackie wants to light a fire under Laurie's ass. Laurie power-walks on the treadmill as Jackie supervises her.

Jackie: Doug is recuperating from something rather serious. I will be training you. Are you looking forward to that?
Laurie: [breathless] Yeah.
Jackie: All right!
Laurie: I'm looking forward to getting my ass kicked.
Jackie: You're going to get your ass kicked.

Believe it, sister. Jackie works Laurie at a frenetic pace, but they bond a little, too. You can say a lot of things about Jackie (and I do), but she knows when to turn off the hard-ass act and make clients feel like they're accomplishing something.

Finally — Later that evening, Jackie meets up with Rebecca for a romantic little dinner. Jeez, I was wondering when we were going to get back to this. This show is no more about fitness than Playboy is about the articles.

Rebecca is already seated at the table when Jackie walks in, dressed all in black like a butchy Johnny Cash. Rebecca says simply, "I just love being around you," to which Jackie replies, "I know; me, too." (Jackie loves being around Jackie, too.) The mutual admiration continues as Jackie claims nothing about Rebecca bugs her. Not even that annoying habit she has of using "anachronisms."

Jackie: Is it "anacronyms" or "anachronisms?"
Rebecca: Anacronym.
Jackie: OK.

Holy cow. It's acronyms. We have a couple of real scholars in our midst. They're a good match. I see that now.

Even though she has no earthly idea what they're called, Rebecca likes acronyms anyway. And she's got so many in her repertoire, Jackie doesn't know what the hell she's talking about half the time. DFW, Rebecca informs Jackie, stands for "down for whatever." Not "dumb freaking woman"? Really?

Jackie asks Rebecca not to use "anachronisms" around her, adding, "I'm begging you." Yeah, me, too.

The conversation turns mercifully to a new subject: the staff retreat. Rebecca thinks she might have to keep her paws off Jackie for the duration. Jackie can't imagine anything worse and thinks everyone (paging Jesse) ought to mind their own beeswax.

Rebecca changes the subject to something else. With a stiff smile, she asks how's what's-her-face, good ol' Tiffany?

Rebecca: Do you love her?
Jackie: [laughing] Do I love her? No! I care for her.
Rebecca: Who do you like more?
Jackie: I like you both equally.
Rebecca: If you had to pick one, right now?
Jackie: Ya know, she and I just really leaned on each other for a lot of things. Like you, I just want to squeeze.
Rebecca: Yeah …
Jackie: But you latch on like a tree monkey.
Rebecca: I do, I do. I'm going to start to climb you. [making monkey-like climbing motions] And then I'm going to start to check you. [making monkey-like grooming motions]
Jackie: [laughing] You do. That's exactly what you remind me of.
Rebecca: Tree monkey. I love it.

And here we go with the pet names. We are so lucky to be witnessing budding love. At first I thought this whole thing with Rebecca was for the cameras. But maybe it's more than a showmance? Rebecca makes Jackie laugh, something Mimi rarely did. Could it be Jabecca is real and not a hoax? Either you believe it or you don't. Sort of like a yeti.

Jackie suggests they go back to her place for, heh, dessert.

Like Rebecca, the gym is also open this evening. Zen is training one of the more dedicated Skylab clients, Carol. Carol says she's an emotional eater, and she's out of control. She's had tragedies and she's not going to let them control her anymore. Admirable. Good luck with that. Gotta go. I need to get back to Jackie's house, where God knows what's going on.

Just desserts — Jabecca are in Jackie's kitchen, having dessert. Or trying to. Jackie's decided to serve a little chocolate fondue. Too bad neither of them knows how to melt chocolate. As the chocolate heats up, they duel playfully with their fondue skewers. Rebecca claims she fenced a bit as a child and maybe that's something they can do together? Jackie says sure, why the hell not? Rebecca says Jackie's so DFW. Please no, not again.

As they dip chunks of banana into the chocolate, the fondue pot starts to smoke. Jackie pulls out her skewer, and the banana's coated with lumpy brown goo. It's poo on a stick. Very romantic. Rebecca pulls her own poo stick out of the burning chocolate and looks at it in alarm. Jackie thinks it looks like something from her dog's wee-wee pad and then tells Rebecca to "just eat it." And they say chivalry is dead.

Rebecca tries to bite the hot poo lump on her skewer, but can't and pulls it away, leaving a brown smear across her front teeth and hanging off her lip. She looks right at Jackie with her poo mouth and asks, "Wanna make out?" I'm sorry, but Rebecca is fun.

The pot is smoking like crazy now. As they theorize what could be wrong ("It's a volcano eruption. Is it going to blow up on us?") The smoke detectors go off. The dogs are barking. They both start fanning the air with their hands, like that's going to help. Jackie investigates the mysteries of her stove fan, but to no avail. At a loss, Jackie decides what they really need to do is drink champagne.

Jackie plops her butt down on her couch in the living room. Rebecca joins her, champagne in hand, and says straight out, "We should get in bed and watch a movie." Wow. The girl is pure id. And Jackie is pure ego. Ba dum bump.

At the sound of the word "bed," Jackie gets up from the couch like she was shot out of a cannon. Standing in front of Rebecca, she notices their heights.

Jackie: You're almost as tall as me, in my slippers and those high heels [of yours].
Rebecca: I can go down …
Jackie: [laughing] Let's go to the bedroom.
Rebecca: [laughing too] No, I mean …
Jackie: Those were the magic words.
Rebecca: [still laughing]
Jackie: Let's go watch a movie …

And what movie would that be? These two are thinking Grindhouse, I'm so sure. If the other trainers knew, they'd say Notes on a Scandal. After the "anacronyms" or "anachronisms" debate, my vote is Dumb and Dumber.

In the bedroom, they start kissing on the bed. Rebecca says her sexual feelings for Jackie are like eating french fries, but her feelings for men are like eating steak. What's she getting at? It sounds deflatingly hetero, given the circumstances. They continue making out and fall back onto the bed, arms entangled. The camera tilts down to Rebecca's shoes, pulls back and we go to commercial. Rebecca's going vegetarian tonight.